Young Love Meets Tough Love: When Migraines Crash Your Honeymoon Phase


I was married a few weeks before my 19th birthday. See what I did there? I don’t like to actually say that I was 18. Though technically I was. My husband was 22. Back then we were young, and (more) fun. But I still had a lot of growing up to do when it came to being a wife.

Our ward (church congregation) was comprised of young married adults, mostly without kids. One winter we went snowboarding on a bunny hill. Other times we had potlucks and game nights, but there was frequently something interesting going on.

How a leap of faith brought us together and made me believe some things may be fate.

I’ve loved getting out and experiencing new activities. My husband has been a good trooper, putting up with my requests to go out, even when he’d rather stay home. Thirteen years later we’re at a place where we each know when to pick our battles, and when the other is insistent. But about eleven years ago, we were still figuring that out.

I’ll never forget one winter, I wanted to attend a snow tubing activity. I’d never been before and I was really looking forward to it.

The morning of, my husband told me he wasn’t feeling well. That he was “sick.” Well sick usually meant a headache. It was a regular battle for us, and usually the source of his complaint. When I had a headache I’d take some ibuprofen and wait for it to wear off. I didn’t understand how this was different for him. I also didn’t understand he was dealing with migraine, which, I didn’t realize until later, was totally different.

See, migraine when untreated can last anywhere from four hours to three full days. They’re usually accompanied by nausea and/or light/sound sensitivity. You may have chronic migraines if you’re suffering from headache symptoms 15 or more days out of the month.

I thought my husband was just trying to get out of going out.

I mean, sure, I realized he might have had a headache, but I didn’t think it could be anything that would have to keep us from going.

We were at odds. I was completely frustrated that he couldn’t suck it up, and he was upset that I only cared about going tubing.

We missed that activity and stayed mad at each other all day, I completely dropped the ball on being a nurturing wife.

Wife of the year here!

I’ve been better since then, especially after experiencing my own migraines when I was pregnant with our son. But I’d be lying if I said I was awesome at it. I try to offer help, and keep the kids away so he can rest when one comes on. Though sometimes deep down, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking ‘Come on! Suck it up!’

It’s completely different with my kids though. I jump through hoops, taking vomit in the face like a champ.

Luckily through the years he doesn’t get them as frequently. After some urging he went to the doctor and got some pointers on migraine relief. And now that I know more about what they are, it’s helpful. If you suffer from what feels like chronic headaches consider checking in with your doctor. In my last blog post with Med-IQ I shared some information to bring with you to the doctor.

This is a busy, stressful time of year. Keep a headache diary, then if you go to your appointments fully prepared to tell your story, and outline the time, symptoms and impact, you’ll receive a much quicker diagnosis and a clearer path to relief. Then stick to the plan they create for you, which should include some medications and lifestyle management strategies.

Med-IQ is interested in gaining the participation of as many people as possible to raise awareness in the community about migraines and chronic migraines. If you can spare just 10 minutes of your time, please take this quick survey to help. As a thank you, you’ll be entered to win a $100 Visa gift card!

My opinions are all my own. I was compensated to write this blog post. It is sponsored by Med-IQ and supported by an educational grant by Teva Pharmaceuticals.

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