Where Do We Go From Here?

Since my last post I’ve been out of words and full of tears. Happy tears because of the overwhelming amount of people who understand or want to understand. Sad tears because things haven’t gotten better. Not yet. But these sort of things take time.

So where do we go from here?

Collaborations are in the works. My cry for unity was met with a loud response from others wanting to help bridge a divide between law enforcement families and Black Lives Matter supporters. It’s a great start and we are going to do something. What exactly? I don’t know yet, but when this news cycle is over and gone know that we’ll still be working to make a difference.

We shouldn’t have to live with this fear.

Meanwhile, something awesomely crazy that’s happened over the last couple of months. I’ve had a renewed sense of clarity. So much clarity and so many answers to questions I’ve been praying about.

A producer from a religious television network reached out to me a few months back about presenting on a motivational speaking show. I was honored but completely caught off guard. Why me? What do I have to offer that could possibly inspire others?

After several conversations and lots of prayer I had a very clear message nailed down, something I was passionate about and could talk about at length, something I didn’t realize other’s struggled with: Compassion and positivity.

That opportunity didn’t wind up panning out but I can’t help but feel like that experience didn’t happen by chance. Even though the show didn’t happen, taking that time to hash out my passions and emotions on these topics, and discussing them with friends has me realize this is something I should explore more.

I joke about my extreme sense of optimism all of the time. I call myself a “hopelessly optimistic” but maybe it’s something we all need more of. Maybe it’s something I need to study and talk about.

I dismiss the fact that I try to find a middle ground in every argument as being a part of my time spent as a journalist, but maybe it’s just in my nature to strive for peace.

Bunmi Laditan is the woman behind Honest Toddler. She’s amazing and I’ve loved her from afar for years. Something she said in a recent Instagram post spoke to my heart:

“I want promise you this: I’m not going to hate you. I don’t care what color you are, how you vote, or what your occupation is. I’m not going to hate you. Hatred is not my destiny. It’s not my birthright. It’s not my portion. You can say bad things about me, hate me, even kill me, and I won’t hate you. Not because of who you are, but because of who I am.”

Because of who I am.

This is who I am.

I spend so much time introducing my kids to new topics and subjects. I’m constantly trying to see what may spark an interest or passion inside them. (It’s a huge reason I’m so excited to be diving into homeschooling.) But who knew I’d still be discovering these things about myself at 30 (well, actually many extraordinary people discover their life’s calling in their 30s and beyond).

There’s a picture hanging in our playroom–I bought it on a whim during one of my expensive visits to Hobby Lobby. It’s a canvas that says “Someday you will change the world.” As a mantra not only for my children, but our whole family… Or anyone else who sees it and feels inspired. My husband jokingly looks at it and says “For the better I hope…” Yes! For the better. Most definitely for the better! Let’s change the world for the better.

I’m a hopeless optimist but I don’t consider that a bad thing. It allows me to dream bigger dreams and believe they are possible. I want that for my children, for my friends, for you.

I’ve reorganized my blog to reflect this realization. Up at the top, instead of a dozen different ways to document family life, I’ve organized it down to a photography and video category. All of that lives under the Leave a Legacy section where I am excited to continue to share those tips and my photo series.

The other sections are as their names describe–meant to inspire action. To make a difference, whether in our children’s lives or our communities. Love the world through travel, nature, food, culture and study. Cherish the moments and milestones with our families. And leave a legacy our families will be proud of.

My blog has been through a LOT of changes in its eight year existence. From my journey towards motherhood to beginning motherhood, and now that I’m getting a grasp on my new role and duty as a woman raising two children who I hope will grow up to change the world… It seemed fitting I refocus my blog to aline with this mission I’m being so strongly pulled to.

So I hope you’ll join me as I continue to make memories with my babies but also work to make a difference with them, for them, for all of us.