When did you tell?

Last time I was pregnant I basically told the world around 6 weeks. I couldn’t hold it in. I’m not a private person and I am not great at keeping secrets. At least not my own (I’m great at keeping other people’s secrets, don’t worry!).

I knew July was a lost cause, and as August begins, I’m hoping I’ll have good news to share soon. But how soon?World's cutest toddler

There are some things I’m doing differently this time. For one, I will want to tell my bosses before blogging about it. Not that I owe them anything, or that it’s a requirement. I’d just rather them hear it from me. Then I can share it here and if people want to gossip and talk about it at work, that’s fine. They can consider the post my announcement.

Of course family members and close friends would all hear it directly from me before anything would be shared here.

And everyone else… Facebook friends, long lost acquaintances etc? Maybe when the baby’s born. Maybe halfway through. I’m not sure.

Part of me LOVES the idea of not telling anyone until I’m fat and people are afraid to ask what’s up with my growing stomach and just be like “SURPRISE!”. Keep them on their toes, ya know. But I know I couldn’t hold it in that long.

The main reason most people wait through their first trimester, I think is to make sure everything is going ok so they don’t share the news “too soon.” I’m not really worried about sharing good or bad news so I think spilling the beans earlier would be ok. But who knows how I’ll feel when I’m in the moment.

Last time I didn’t wait until my first appointment but next time, I think I will.

Last time I was really nervous about something bad happening, but next time, having been through this before, I’m hoping I’ll feel less nervous.

When did you announce your pregnancyΒ to your family, friends, facebook friends, and/or blog readers (if you have one)?

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      1. We’ve told family, but, like you, I think it’d be fun to wait till I’m getting big- but I probably won’t. Actually, I think it’d be fun to pull off a facebook post of “What I did this weekend: Had a baby. Surprise!” Realistically… Maybe in a couple or three weeks?

  1. I always wanted to wait until the end of my first trimester but by #4 you could tell really early because of my 24/7 morning sickness. I say judge for yourself cause I like letting people know even when they aren’t super supportive.

  2. With all 3 babies I made the announcement to family after our first doctors appointment which was at 7 weeks for all three. We told everyone else after that…but you know, if we don’t get a “crap I’m not pregnant” post from you then were all gonna pretty much know πŸ˜‰

    1. I think that’s what I’ll do.

      You are too funny. So I guess if I’m lucky this month I’ll hafta come up with something clever to blog about in August/September/Part of October to keep yall guessing.

  3. For my son (now 5) we told our families right away like the day we found out. Everyone else about 8 weeks. For my daughter (4 months) wanted to keep it for myself for a little to make it mine for longer. I don’t regret telling everyone for my son so soon but since she was going to be my only other I wanted it to be mine before it became everyone’s. I knew for about 2 days before I told my husband because I wanted to do it in a “cute” way and then I waited 2 weeks to tell my family and then it was another 2 weeks before his family but only b/c we waited till we saw them. Everyone else found out at about 10/11 weeks.

  4. We told my parents as soon as we found out. However since we have yet to have a successful pregnancy I think the next go-round I will wait until after the first appointment before telling the parentals. Everyone else I will wait until after the first trimester.

  5. we didn’t share anything with the “public” until we’d gone to the doctor and i didn’t go until i was around 13 weeks along. we told our family right before, but my mom figured out a little early since i was pretty sick. on facebook we shared the news after the ultrasound at 19 weeks. πŸ™‚

    i think it’ll be hard for you not to have people guessing it through the blog, since you’re very vocal about testing and such! we’ll all know that when the month when you aren’t a little bummed about testing negative comes, you’ll be preggers! πŸ˜‰

    but obviously, that’ll just be a rumor, nothing like an official post!

    unless you’re fooling US ALL and you already got a ppt! XP

  6. i told my mom, my SO, and his grandmother, and one of my dear friends who had just had a baby immediately after i did a home test (like 5 days before my missed period lol) because they all knew we were ttc, and because i was so excited that we actually got pregnant on the first try so i could hold off on purchasing 458 ovulation prediction kits like i had planned to that day! i waited 8 wks before i told my boss & my co-teacher so they would understand why i was so tired that I could barely drag myself into work. i waited the standard 3 months before i went public on Facebook, but i almost didn’t make it when another friend let the cat out of the bag by commenting about how she couldn’t wait for me to “get this fat” on a picture of a laughing Buddha i posted lol

  7. We told everyone after our first doctor’s appointment which was 10 weeks. We had a miscarriage before that, at 8 weeks. We wanted to make sure that everything was ok with the pregnancy before telling people. Now I have a busy 18 month old and loving it!!

  8. I am currently almost nine weeks along and struggling with the same thing. Last time (for various reasons) we waited until the end of the first trimester to tell pretty much anyone (aside from a small handful of people we were only seeing in person earlier). This time we told close family around 5-6 weeks (had some help with this one, so we knew pretty quick), again because we were seeing people in person we wouldn’t see for a while and I hate phone calls like that. My parents couldn’t help but blab to other family (ugh) and I’ve told a few other people (a couple co-workers, close friend, instructor of a class at the gym), but we’re trying to keep it pretty quiet otherwise until the end of the first trimester. Perhaps we’ll get braver if we get another ultrasound soon and things are looking perfect. I’ve been feeling like crap, which is why I told some of the people above, so they didn’t think I was just slacking. My blog has been an awkward one, though–just sort of avoiding the topic altogether for now, even though I’d been talking about the fertility stuff previously. People can assume all they want, I guess. I’ve been writing blog posts on the sly in the form of letters to the baby-to-be, so at least I can document the process a bit this time around. I’ll post them after the big announcement. In the meantime I hate not being able to really get into the good and bad of this stage of pregnancy, at least not publicly yet. I do agree with you, however, that if you’d tell people you miscarried, there’s less reason to hold back from telling those same people early. If you wouldn’t want to have to break the news to someone, don’t tell them until you’re comfortable things are going well. It’s definitely tricky!

    1. CONGRATULATIONS Amy!! I hope you get to blab to the world soon! I think I’ll be an early-sharer again. It’s just so hard to keep it in. And I’m a share-all kind of gal πŸ˜€

  9. I am a horribly public person; and as soon as I took my first and second and then third pregnancy test I told the world… on both counts…but like you I told my parents and in-laws first and in person… I have pictures of all the reactions..it was fun! If and WHEN I decide to go for my third since I know for sure it will be my last… I want to make it super fun and wait for a special day to get everyone together and announce the final addition of Team of Gomez! I can’t wait to hear from you about your second baby! Excited for you!!! πŸ™‚

  10. I am currently 8 months preggers with my first born. I waited until after I was in my 2nd trimester although a few close girlfriends ‘knew’ or guessed before the big announcement. I wanted to wait just to be sure the pregnancy was going to stick, not that we had any health issues but because that was the advice I read online. Plus I didn’t want to have to be a bearer of bad news especially to FB friends, acquaintances, blog readers etc you know ppl who may not have your best interest at heart.
    Wishing you lots of baby dust and a happy & healthy pregnancy

  11. with our first pregnancy we announced at 6 weeks. i just had our 2nd little one 3 weeks ago and we waited until i was 17 wks. we already knew the gender and it was really exciting to say ‘ hey i’m pregnant, and it’s a boy!’

  12. My three pregnancies happened to coincide with a trip home to visit my family, so I waited until then. I don’t remember how far along, but it was during the first trimester. We told my in-laws based on when we told my family, and Facebook was soon afterward. Though, my sister found out right away with #1 and #3.

    The next time, the plan is to not even tell people we’re trying (so hard!) and then not even tell our 4-yr-old until the 20-week ultrasound and then let HER share the news. (She’s hoping and hoping for a sister.) We’ll see how long I can hold out. I think with Adam (#3) I tried to hold out telling anyone besides my family (ie, facebook) and made it out of the first trimester? But just barely.

  13. I have told before the stick I dry all three times. I have had to untell but I would rather people know and be there to support then suffer on silence.

  14. With my first and currently only (start trying for #2 end of this month!!) I found out on Thanksgiving 2010, my whole family found out that night in person and our close friends were called as well that night. We then wait a whole week to blog about it! And two weeks after that I put it on facebook. I was going to wait til after the first appointment but just couldnt hold it in!

    With this one we are probably going to do basically the same thing. I just can’t wait to share good news.

  15. I’m 17 weeks pregnant with #3, and told people the very day I found out. I can’t keep a secret, lol.

    I don’t think subsequent pregnancies makes a mother any less nervous. I may be MORE nervous this time than with the other two :-/

  16. With Marley, I told my family at like 5 or 6 weeks, I think. I told the rest of the world and fb when I was 9 weeks. That worked out well, so I did it pretty much the same this time around. I’m 13 weeks today.

  17. I kept it quiet and was planning to tell my colleagues and friends after my first trimester. I did tell the administration of my school, and I’m glad I did. One of my students had “Fifth’s Disease” which is not good for a fetus in the first trimester. I was exposed to it towards the end of my first trimester. The parent of the child told the administration and said that it wouldn’t affect anyone unless they were pregnant….and that was me. So, the admin. let me know and I let my doctor know. They tested my blood and informed me that I had developed a sub-clinical infection to
    “Fifth’s Disease.” So throughout my second trimester, I had to have an ultrasound every week. They were looking to see if there was any swelling of the brain or any collection of fluids around the heart and other major organs.

    So, in conclusion, tell your employer right away. Your family right away. Everyone else, whenever.

  18. Both of my babies I knew I was preggers very early. They also were both conceived soon after miscarriages. With the 1st miscarriage I told close friends and family soon after finding out. When we got pregnant again we waited till after our 1st appt. about 8 weeks to tell close friends and family. 12 weeks is when we told everyone else and fb. With the 3rd pregnancy/2nd mis carriage no one knew till the loss. With Moonbeam We told friends and fan around 6 weeks, twitter shortly after, then everyone else around 12-14 weeks!

  19. I usually just take a picture of the pregnancy test, then put it on Facebook and my blog as soon as my husband and immediate family know. I don’t know how I’d handle it if I had to announce that something went wrong after creating all the hoopla over a new baby, but I can’t keep my mouth shut about it long enough to go to my first appointment!

  20. With my first I told people after 16 weeks. I was having an amnio and wanted to make sure everything was good to go before I spilled the beans. With my second I didn’t tell anyone until after 20 weeks because I had miscarried twice in between and wanted to make sure this one would stick. (In hindsight, I don’t know why I waited so long because I was very open about the miscarriages. Maybe I just didn’t want to jinx things…) By the time I told people with baby #2 everyone was like, “Yeah…we figured that out weeks ago. We were just wondering when you were going to tell us!” I never announced it on fb so when I posted pictures of a new baby on fb after she was born, some of my friends who had moved far away were like, “WHAT?! When did this happen!?” Oops! πŸ˜‰

  21. I can tell the next day that I’m pregnant so DH gets told then and my mom a couple days later but I’ve waited longer with each pregnancy to tell others mostly because it seems like it’s not really such a big deal anymore so I just share when I feel like it.

    I’ve also had a few miscarriages but telling others early just meant that I had a larger circle of support when it happened and since the medical community thinks that about 50% of pregnancies end in SAB with most of them too early for most women to even realize that they are pregnant, I don’t worry about any early losses, I just chock it up to being really in tune with my body.

  22. Our first baby I took the test and called family right then (even though my husband was in the background shaking his head no! :)) Our second we were on an internship out of state when we found out. We didn’t tell until we got back, 14 weeks. And now we are going to start trying for number 3. We moved last year away from all our family so no one will see me for a while. My husband would like to wait and call them and say, “Hey we are having a baby next week!” πŸ™‚ But we’re really just gong to wait until we know the gender of the baby so we can say, “We’re having a baby and it’s a…” πŸ™‚
    Not telling for awhile cuts down on all the phone calls, How are you feeling today?

  23. I’m 5 weeks today but I’m not telling anyone until I know everything is okay. I told my family at 7 weeks with my first and the rest of the world at 12 weeks.

  24. I waited the first trimester with both, however the husband and I each got to tell one friend outside of our general circle. That way we could plan our revels and ask questions. I waited because of the PCOS which basically gave me a 50% chance of loosing them. With our girl 14 weeks hit during Thanksgiving, which we were hosting. My husband slipped in a “thank you Lord for giving us a safe pregnant so far” everyone was shocked! With the second, we waited till we were 13, and scheduled or daughters dedication for that weekend. We gave our then 14 month old a shirt that said ” I’m a big sister” once again,
    Everyone was shocked. I was nervous at first but sobbing the second. I was so scarred of how I’d hadle two that I was sobbing in front of 200 friends and family!
    Also the thing about the 2nd was that I started showing in like 3 weeks! lots of loose clothing, but the week of I was getting asked. No late months guessing here.

  25. My mom is not supportive, i dont want to tell her. I wont. I will tell my fam. After my 1st apt (end of August, 7 weeks tomorrow) but i wont tell her. :_o/

  26. I always found out I was pregnant after the first trimester or at the very end. With my first pregnancy I was 5 months before I told any family outside of mom and siblings.

  27. Good post! I had a miscarriage REALLY early on (like at 2 weeks) right before I became pregnant and had my baby girl. With the miscarriage pregnancy..I told some friends immediately (as well as family) to only later wish I hadnt said a word (esp to the friends) for obvious reasons. When I became pregnant after that time around..I told only my parents and his mother (and close BFF) as soon as we found out but didnt tell anyone else publicly until I was 12 weeks along and we knew everything was ok!

  28. I found out really early so I told a close co-worker just to cover for me in case was weird about not carrying things. I was about 7 weeks. I tried to wait longer but being pregnant for the first time, every day was dragging a long as I bit my mouth. haha

  29. We told everyone about my two year old as soon as we had a positive test.
    This one I wanted to wait longer to spill the beans but we ended up…or actually the hubby ended up telling everyone about almost 10 weeks.

  30. I have yet to announce it to anyone but my honey told his family and friends a few minutes after we found out. I told my girls after my first appointment and my little one tells everyone we meet even my parents. I like to keep it private simply because I’m a private person.

  31. We waited until exactly 12 week to tell our families (we were going to wait until 16 to tell our friends). We sent out a video in the morning with our exciting news and then a few hours later I started to miscarry. You never are safe so you might as well tell when you want to tell. Although going through that I still will probably do the same thing next time.

  32. With our first we told EVERYONE immediately as we had been trying for years. Our second pregnancy we had planned to wait until it was obvious as I have very high risk pregnancies and have very loving, INVOLVED, supportive family … I wanted some peace and quiet before the daily phone calls started. But my parents were at a family reunion and when we spoke on the phone my mom went on about how my cousin’s wife was pregnant and how she had said they could use our stroller, car seat, etc for their baby. I didn’t blab but told my husband after we hung up how it was the most horrible phone call ever, keeping something like that from my mom. He said, “Call back and tell her!” So I did. 8 weeks for first pregnancy, and 6 weeks for the second one. I have to say it all worked out in the end!

  33. Just like you I’m hoping August will be my lucky month :). I told my mum at week 10, and the rest of the family (in-laws, my bro’s and sis) at around week 12. I’ll do the same this time round though I think I’ll tell my mum as soon as I pee on the stick and see two lines :). Best wishes to you in Aug.

  34. I told at about 7 weeks last time around… I think I’ll wait till I hear the heartbeat at the first Dr appointment this time… Too many friends who miscarried or had eptopic with #2 has me a little paranoid. But it sounds like we may be having second babies around the same time!! πŸ™‚ good luck and I say you tell whenever you want!!! It’s your blog (and you’re the baby making machine!) so I say you know what’s best. Can’t wait to hear your POV this next
    Time around! Ps also hoping its not your last pregnancy!! πŸ˜‰ the world
    Needs lots more top models like lil j!!

  35. I am 8 weeks right now with baby two and planning on telling family when we show up at Christmas. Should be fun to show up with a big belly and already knowing the gender. Hoping nothing goes wrong with this pregnancy.

  36. No babies yet, but my husband and I really really want to not tell anyone as long as possible. Like wait months and months. I don’t know if we’ll really be able to keep the secret when the time comes, but for now that’s the plan.

  37. We called our parents right away.. Like a couple minutes after I took the test. We waited until our doctor appointment to tell the rest of the family, and had it up on Facebook a week later. We were too excited to hold it in. lol

  38. With our first, we told our family and some close friends right when we found out and then announced to others after our 8 week ultrasound. Pretty sure we’ll do something similar with next….even though I think I’ll have a harder time keeping it quiet that long!

  39. I waited until I was through the first trimester. I’ve seen too many horror stories of women having miscarriages then having to explain to everyone what happened which has made it even more painful. Better safe than sorry IMO.

  40. I know I’m late to comment but this is an interesting post. We have a 6 month old and we waited until after the first trimester to tell our families and friends. We are both very good and not spilling the beans so it wasn’t too tough. We even attended major events like graduations and weddings and didn’t tell anyone. And I was sick the whole time. With the next ones, I’m not sure we’ll be so discreet. I don’t we’ll see.

  41. Um, yeah, the last time it didn’t get held in very well. Remember me….tee hee hee…you know your secret twitter pal who told you she was possibly pregnant, even though I knew it to the day, and you were trying at the same time? I think you found out like a week later lol. I hope you decide not to keep it a secret too long because I love reading your stories and experiences, and I know it’s a great inspiration to other moms out there that are going through the same thing to know that you and they are going through the same thing. Plus, now I have to live through you since I can’t have any more babies… πŸ™‚ hugs and miss you

  42. I told the SECOND I found out! I took a pic of the test and put it on facebook as my status. I was so excited after 6 1/2 yrs of trying that I couldnt wait to share. and I knew if something went wrong, I was going to share that too anyway… so why bother waiting? It was way more fun to get to share riht away and everyone got to be excited with me whike I was still in my giddy I cant believe I am finally pregnant phase. I will do it the same way again next time I think, for sure.

  43. With Jayden I didn’t know I was pregnant until um my 2nd trimester so I immediately told. This time, I was super cautious because I was scared something would go wrong… since everything happened so perfectly. I KNEW 7 days after conception. I usually start watching my back when things are going so well for us, I’m careful not to take anything for granted, and I start wondering what’s gonna fall apart, or why are things going so good? I’m weird like that, I simply can’t just eat the cake.

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