What you should never say to your wife (Unless you wanna die)…

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Men, don’t say this to your wife. Especially when she’s 6 months postpartum.

“Honey–” as you grab the blubber left on her belly. Her sweet baby ‘phat’ “–Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

And after your wife gives you a look that could kill you, please, don’t tempt her to do the real thing by backpedaling off a cliff–

“I mean, maybe just a couple of months?”

Now my question… Who’s going to bail me out of jail?

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34 Comments

  1. I am reminded of the best thing I ever heard in the doctor’s office.
    I was sitting in the room waiting for the doctor when I overheard the nurse asking an elderly lady her statistics and she said “Married?” And the old lady said “Yes, though you might want to put down Widowed after what he did this morning.”

    I lol’d so much. Best thing ever.

  2. Oh honey i will Soso so so so bail you out! But if my husband were to say that too, i would so be in there with you! They have no ideahow to say what they want to say, the right way without us wanting to pop them lol .

  3. I was going to the bathroom and my husband walked in to give my son a bath. He then says, “where’d the toilet seat go”…because I have big thighs. Yea…he’s pretty much going to die too! lol

  4. My husband came up behind me one day while I was doing my hair and looked at me and asked, ‘Do you want lipsuction?’ I elbowed him in the stomach. He got it.

  5. LMBO. I have a pretty blunt/honest husband too. I may have to start coaching him now so he doesn’t say crazy stuff like that to me. I don’t want to go to jail either. LOL.

  6. the men in our lives are SO lucky we love them, and probably have no idea how close they come to death on a daily basis due to their big fat mouths lol.

  7. Oh, wow… I think, I would have ended up in jail with you! lol Unfortunately, for me, it is true though…lol Yep, four months postpartum and PREGNANT!=) Shocked, excited, and happy… We go Tuesday to find out how far along we are by ultrasound, because I was EBF and haven’t had any “sign” to let me know I was fertile again! lol Your post made me realize I guess I can use that excuse now for my leftover flab…lol…because I really AM pregnant! lol Or maybe, it will make me get my butt in gear on the elliptical I bought LAST January and still hasn’t been used more than a handful of times. Nah, I doubt it…sigh

  8. Yeah I’m with you. I so would have helped bail you out of jail. Men mean well, but have an idiotic method in showing it. Do they ever really think before they speak. Don’t they they know comments like that make us see red and ready to grab a knife and become lorena bobbit(okay, that was a bit much, I would never, EVER do a thing like that). I totally understand how you feel. So, here is the $ 2.02 thats in my google account. I hope it helps. LOL

  9. Hahaha my hubby has said that to me a few times…I used to hold my stomach in pre-pregnancy so I also looked skinny, and since being pregnant/a mum, I have found it’s a lot more comfortable to just let it all hang out…lol.

  10. Luckily my hubby would never say that to me. He has always been great even when I was pretty plump after my babies. It would make me cry, get upset, depressed-whatever. I had eating disorders a long time ago so I would feel awful-and unloved.

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