What to do for the next 8 months?


My husband is about to start a new career, a new job he’s been applying and training for, for the last two years. I’m so thrilled for him because while he loves being home with our daughter, he’s ready to get out of the house. (On a side note, I’m hoping to have him be my first guest poster and write a post for me about what it was like being Lil’ J’s stay at home dad for a year, but right now he’s not interested. I’ll keep trying.)

Now the hard part begins.

Our daughter has been on daycare waiting lists since my maternity leave and her name still hasn’t come up on any of them. Most all of these are downtown near my job. So I began the search again, including searches for nannies. I’ll have do do a more detailed helpful post about this later, but long story short, I found a school we like, and there are only three other little students in her class. It’s not far from my job, and even though they hiked the tuition another $200 a month after I had already enrolled her and paid the deposit; and even though she will only be going three times a week and there’s no part-time program, we’re staying because we like it that much. I’m hoping socializing and learning with other kiddos, and having a little time away from us, at this age, will be good for her.

That said, I’m dreading dropping her off the first day. The thought of it kills me. KILLS me. Actually, I can’t even think about it without getting a knot in my stomach. It’s already hard leaving her big brown eyes with her daddy five days a week, I think this will be infinitely more painful. Ugh. Can’t think about it. If any of you out there in cyber space have tips for getting through this, please share. My plan is to make daddy do it. She won’t be as sad about him leaving her. And she’ll be twice as happy to see me pick her up.

Rufflebutt Onesie from Sumos; Bow from Chloe and Maude, Leg Warmers from Happy Crawlers

Another challenge I’ll have to make it through is learning to do things without my husband, or his help for the next eight months. He’s going to be engrossed in work and he’s warned me time and time again about the demands. He’s asked for my support and I’m gonna give it. He’s also promised a certain shiny prize once he makes it to the finish line, but of course I don’t need bribery to help. I’d do it ether way.

So now I’m thinking of ways to get out of his hair for the next eight months. Moving to our own apartment isn’t an option. We’ve done yoga classes already and I’d like to try something new. Maybe mommy and me swim lessons. Or gymnastics. Or sign language. Instead of shopping online, we could hit up stores. And photography is always fun. We could scope out new spots to shoot I guess.

It’s just weird to think our whole family dynamic is about to shift. When I stop off at home for a quick lunch break no one will be there. We’ll have to wake up earlier to get all three of us ready for work and school, pack lunches, and head out the door, where as before I could leave them two in their PJs.

I’m going to have to trust new people with my daughter. Ugh. There goes that knot again. I can do this! Soon it will all seem like normal. Right?

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  1. I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to SUCK and suck bad for the first week or so. I had to return to work when my daughter was 13 weeks old and I thought I was going to die. I seriously sat at my desk and cried and wouldn’t allow people to talk to me about her because it was too much for me.

    It does get easier as time goes on. I promise.

    She will get to experience all kinds of new things and make new friends. I bet she’s going to love it.

    Mommy Guilt will eat you up and spit you out, but just know that tons of us do it on the daily and everything works out just fine. It ‘s just getting into a new routine and finding your footing again.

    Hang in there, Mama!

  2. Hi Jen. Its Kira from the fam! You can do it! You are the one that got me started bloggin years back. Glad to see you have kept the habbit 🙂 You will do just great. Lots of women do it, and you can too. Keep up the positivity.

  3. OMG you think NOW is hard when shes a year old and not so “helpless and fragile” I literally had mini anxiety attacks the final month of my maternity leave with my 3rd she was my extra tiny one, my lil snuggle bug and even though I had a wonderful job who gave me 3 months 100% paid maternity leave .. it wasnt enough… I never worked with the first 2 when they were born .. I dont know how women drop of their tiny 6 week old babies with a daycare…. I freak out the germs, someone not snuggling them as much as they deserve all stuff that I know really shouldnt be a issue cause I have also worked daycare before I know all is fine but still thats YOUR BABY! hmmm wow Im sure all that made you freak out a lil more. My point is… at least with me… say now my youngest he is 9 months old big rough tough tank who loves to play and crawl all over and he is more than able to let you know when he wants something and if that something is you or to be held he will follow u and latch on and not let you go till he gets it. Just think your lil’J is even older, she can walk and even though the first week maybe 2 will be rough on all 3 of you… it will work out great and when shes running into her class forgeting to give you hugs because shes so excited to see her freinds and teachers it will be bitter sweet I know but it will be your reassurance that shes happy and this is all alot less painful than you had dreaded. Theres absoluely nothing you can do to sop the hurt and fear now… but you will work through this just like you will work through doing things on your own without your husbands help as much and youll be a srong woman for it… not that you need any help in that area by any means ..lol but you get my drift. Best of luck to you… Lil’J and your hubby… what a scarey yet exciting transition!

  4. Praying you make it through…and you will! I’m sure the place you’ve chosen is great…especially since it’s only 3 children in her class. She hopefully get lots of attention.

    PS: Love the legwarmers! Great for crawling 🙂

  5. Berry is not here yet and I already think about how I will freak out when the time will come for me to separate due to work or school.

    Initially it will be tough, but I hope it will not be too much to bear Mama. However, I know you are strong and Lil J will def love meeting new people. All the best!

    Thinking about guest post from your hubby would be great to read, I really hope he decides to accept the offer :).

  6. My little Princess started daycare at 3 months. If it were up to me, I would have waited a year too. She’s been sick with virus’ constantly. Plus, she’s been spreading these illnesses to my hubby and me. I thought breasfeeding would limit all these sicknesses! Despite all that, i wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s made new friends and she’s developing nicely. I actually handled taking her in very well. I thought I’d have a hard time, but it wasn’t so bad. I love the fact that she’s social. The teachers are great about jotting her day to day activities on her infant gram. They also take pics! I think the more comfortable you are with your daycare, the better you’ll feel. And it seems like you chose a great one. The first day may be tough, but that that feeling in your stomach will go away. Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

    Btw, I recommend mommy and me swimming. My little Princess and I have had been doing that. Her daddy and I rotate lessons while the other takes pics. I posted some on my blog, if you want to have a look!

  7. Oh girlie i feel you. I’m not even preggers yet and I’m scheming and trying to find ways to be able to earn $ at home so I don’t have to put my little one in day care or hire a nanny.
    I know it’s heart breaking 🙁

    I feel you on your life situation changing too. John and I are on opposite schedules and it SUCKS. It’s great that you and hubby have such great communication though. You’re well prepared for what’s to come!

  8. I can’t really help you much with this one, the only people who have watched our daughter are family. We are moving away from our family soon though and I am wondering what it will be like to trust someone who isn’t family to care for my little girl, it scares me. I don’t know if the hubs and I will get a date night for a while after we move, haha! Good luck with daycare though, I am glad you were able to find a place you really like and feel good about!

  9. I think it will be much easier than you think. You leave her 5 days a week already. Of course its at home with your husband but the fact that you can leave and not freak out daily says a lot. It’ll be much like when you had to go back to work after you had her. It’ll be hard for a bit then it’ll just be normal. Picking her up at the end of the day is going to be awesome. My daugher is 20 months and she still makes my day every time I pick her up from school with how excited she is to see me.

  10. I’m going to be completely honest with you. It’s going to Suck with a capital S the first week. My mom works at the daycare where I leave my daughter and 7 months later it’s still hard and I miss her terribly while I’m at work.

    That said, we take it harder then they do. My daughter LOVES her friends at daycare and her caregiver. She is always smiling and playing when I drop her off and pick her up. She is also very social with other children which is always a plus.

    Hang in there and know that it will get better.

  11. Doing the daycare think sucks pretty bad…but it gets better. It took me close to 2 months to not hate it. I cried almost everyday and told my husband I was quitting. My daughter was so tired from playing all day that when I got her home she just wanted to sleep, I was so sad about it, it did get better. I’m off for the Summer right now but I’m dreading it when school starts up again. I’m sure I will have to get use to it all over again.

  12. The single constant about change seems to be that you will always find a “new normal”.

    That said, I am 1.5 years in to being a working mom (working 4/10s with one weekday off and hub telecommuting one day a week, so babe is with his grandparents 3 days a week).

    I still have atrocious weeks (like this one) where I have breakdowns and Heavenly Father hears extra from me, wherein I plead to be patient for the day when I can work part-time and be home more.

    I am beginning to wonder if it ever gets easier.

    Today, you get my commiseration, and my sincerest wishes for an easy (and peaceful) transition!

  13. Hi,
    I just started following your blog recently and I’ve enjoyed catching up. You hubby going off to work and you daughter heading to daycare will be a big adjustment, but I’m sure you will get through it just fine. I have to jump on your comment about “getting out of his hair” because I saw that you mentioned some different activities. Being a swim instructor I highly recommend taking swim lessons. Most babies have natural instincts in the water and can be taught how to right themselves and float. They naturally hold their breath too. It’s pretty amazing, check out this video!

  14. My husband is the SAHD right now to our 7 month old, and he’s looking to see what the Next Thing is for him- I dread making these childcare decision when the time comes for us!

    Of course, with “8 months” in the title of this post, I thought this was a pregnancy announcement! 8 months, and then you’re on maternity leave again?

  15. So many of us moms have done this. You can do this. NO, it is NEVER easy. I had to do it at EIGHT WEEKS OLD!!!! Terrible. Heart wrenching…but you know what? She loves school. LOVES IT!!! Just wait until she CRIES to STAY there…talk about heartbreak!

  16. The fact that you found a school you like is HUGE. Finding childcare is my nemisis and I’ve done it more times than I care to count. I have found that paying more for a good school is WELL worth it. It will give you peace of mind and make the dropping her off part so much easier.

    It will take some time to adjust to leaving her with someone else, but I have found that putting my kids in daycare has been great for them. They socialize, play, and share much better than stay-at-home kids. Good luck! You can do it!

  17. Ugh, mama, we’re starting Kaspar at daycare, too (a Montessori we LOVE), this fall, and thinking of dropping him off is also killing me. I just don’t want him to be scared or confused, or to get hurt or whatever… Can’t think about that stuff. A friend recommended spending a day with him there first, then leaving the next day for a short period of time and returning, and then on the third day doing the real-deal dropoff. He’ll at least have some sense of the place and what we’re doing by then, and hopefully feel comfortable with the teachers and other kids. Maybe you could do something similar with Lil’ J? And let’s do lots of playdates these next 8 months! It’ll fly by. (And you’re such an awesome wifey).

    xo Taylor Alt-Mama

  18. Wow. It must be a really awesome daycare.

    I HATE leaving my baby(ies). The hardest was leaving my 1st when she was 3 months old. She was watched by a lady from church. I cried and cried and whenever anyone mentioned “the baby” I cried more. It became a routine to leave her, but was never really easy. I’m a teacher and I have used someone different to watch her every school year. 3 different women at church have watched her for me. This last year my MIL watched both of them (my DD and my 3 month old son) at my house. It wasn’t as hard leaving them at home with my MIL, but I still cried leaving my babies. I’m only 2 weeks away from having to leave them again (with Grandma again) and I am NOT looking forward to it. I love that I get to be a SAHM for 2 months every year, but then I know what I’m missing while I’m at work. I could totally be a SAHM…I love it SO much. Just thinking about school starting up again puts knots in my stomach and it’s grandma watching them. 😛

    We’ll get back into a routine and everything will be fine, but it is SO hard. It’s easier for some people than others. I’m just not in the “others” category. OH well.

  19. I agree with City Life to Ranching Wife who said you excel at all you do! I hope you have an easy transition and realize how blessed you are to have had your husband available to watch her for so long =) I haven’t had to leave my almost 1 year old with daycare/nanny but I always imagine that it must be challenging, but in the end we all do what we must and are oh, so resilient as I’m sure you, your husband and Lil J are!

  20. Wish I could give you some advice on this topic but I’ve never had to leave Moo with a sitter and I don’t believe in daycare. However, I am thinking about getting a part-time nanny so I can apply for a job this magazine. I don’t think it’ll be as hard leaving Moo and JJ for a few hours to do interviews or shoots as they will be home with daddy and the nanny. The plus side is that you all like the school and it’s close to your job. So, you can always stop in and check on her.

  21. Wish I could give you some advice on this topic but I’ve never had to leave Moo with a sitter and I don’t believe in daycare. However, I am thinking about getting a part-time nanny so I can apply for a job this magazine. I don’t think it’ll be as hard leaving Moo and JJ for a few hours to do interviews or shoots as they will be home with daddy and the nanny. The plus side is that you all like the school and it’s close to your job. So, you can always stop in and check on her.

  22. I don’t have a kiddo yet but I think about these things too. I’ve also came up with ideas of how to get around the whole daycare thing but none seem feasible right now. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there (but a little planning wont hurt anyone, right?). Anyway, it may help to think about it as just another transition that will be challenging but you will learn to make the best of.

  23. Hi, Jennifer. I’ve followed your blog for a long time and only comment every blue moon. But I wanted to give you my quick two-cents on this leaving baby at daycare thing.

    The first thing that go me through it was the fact that it was going to happen. That probably doesn’t make sense when you’re reading it: it basically means that I knew I wasn’t going to quit my job and neither was my husband, so we didn’t worry about things we didn’t plan to change. So know that first.

    But then think about how proud Lil J will be of you when she learns that her mommy loved her career and balanced it with raising her to be the girl she is.

    Leaving her at daycare in no way means you don’t love her. You’re trying to make a better life for her, actually, in many ways.

    Now am I saying it’s going to be easy? Of course it won’t be easy. My daughter is 2.5 now, and I still get that knot in my stomach for the simple fact that we’re away from each other. But when she comes home and talks about school and her friends and her teachers and I hear all the things she’s learned, I know that everything is okay.

    Hope this helps! You’ll get through it.

  24. Awww man, I bet it is nerve racking. I stay home right now, and have been considering going back to work, but every time the thought comes up, I get that same knot too. I don’t think there is any sidelining this. It will be hard, but mostly for you because you know what’s happening. You’re just going to have to cry it out, straighten you big girl panties (yeah, make sure you put them on that morning, you WILL need them), and head off to work.

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