How about a good old fashioned journal entry today. It’s been a minute right? I’ve been trying to share more of my useful thoughts lately but sometimes you just need to brain dump. And I think there’s something to be said about recording an experience when you’re right in the middle of it, unknowing how everything is going to turn out.

So this week is kind of a big deal. There are three major “what ifs” up in the air. Which is funny because I’m literally on an airplane right now trying to write this post from my phone while the service is decent. So excuse any forthcoming typos. I’ll edit this tonight.

I’m heading out on one more trip before this baby arrives. This morning I’m going to California for the Mom 2.0 blog summit. It’s one of those things I was planning on going to, then not planning on going to (hello Sneaky!) then finally last minute decision to yes, still go.

I’m helping present the blog award for Best Photography at the Iris Awards ceremony, and I’m up for a couple of awards myself. I’m just so freaking grateful to be nominated that I knew I couldn’t NOT go and experience this, win or lose.

You’d think being up for Blog of the Year would be enough excitement for one week, but there’s even more going on.

Remember operation dream house? Well in just a month we’ve had some crazy developments. The thing is, one I get an idea in my head, I’m like a freight train–Impossible stop.

My husband is a bit more of a stop and go kind of guy. Gas, break, gas, break, reverse.

Much to my surprise he agreed to entertain my dream house initiative IF and only if I managed to secure a significant down payment, and got rid of our condo.

We’ve owned a condo in Utah for 11 years and it’s been a thorn in his side almost the entire time. You know, one of those things you look back on and go “yea, I kinda wish we hadn’t done that.” I don’t like the word regret, and I was really trying to turn that situation into a positive: Renting it out. Considering paying it off and having it as an option when our kids went to college.

I was fine hanging on to it. By as soon as that became an object in the way of my new plan, I was ready to cut ties. On the phone with a realtor the next day and giving our tenants their 30 days notice.

“I’ll handle it,” I told him. And handle it I have.

Meanwhile I have been browsing homes in our area. I did my own browsing but nothing for sale even remotely caught my attention. I stumbled upon a home that sold in a neighborhood I liked about a year ago. While doing some research on how that sale went down I found out it was sold by one of the moms from my daughters cheer squad.

I was subconsciously aware that she was a realtor but until now it hadn’t struck me as an *ah ha!*

I tried to do some undercover investigating and casually ask some questions at practice about homes specifically in our area “is that something y’all specialize in? I mean like, could y’all know about stuff going up first?”

The thing is we are in no rush to move, but I wanted to keep an eye on the market, and if the perfect place appeared be aware and possibly ready.

I picked the realtor and she’d send me houses and we’d check them out and I was like “meh…” Some places really caught my attention online but left me underwhelmed.

During this time my husband began to come around. The wheels were in motion for our condo to sell and the idea of moving was sounding less and less impossible.

The thing was the more houses I saw, whether online or in person, the more I worried about if and when my dream house would appear. Houses that I could kinda sorta maybe consider went under contract the next day. So it seemed as though I’d have to decide fast and if you’ve ever seen me at the grocery store debating toothpaste you know I can’t decide ANYTHING quickly.

Our realtor suggested we check out a new neighborhood development with acreage lots slightly further than I was looking. I threw the idea out at my husband and he grew more excited than I’d ever seen him. There was a spec home for sale that he really liked. But when I went and saw it, while I loved many things about it it didn’t feel like THE one.

Is that even a thing?

Is finding a house like finding a husband? Would I know without a doubt that was the house for us?

The kitchen was too large (I know, I’m the only woman in the world who would say such a thing) and the bonus room upstairs was smaller than I wanted. And the fourth bedroom was upstairs away from the rest of the rooms in the house. It was close, but not perfect. And I wasn’t disappointed when I saw it went under contract.

We saw a few more homes and debated just buying an acre or two of land to build on in a year or so and find a custom builder. But the idea of designing a house from scratch, was one part thrilling and three parts terrifying.

Remember me… Ms. Indecisive. I imagined the emotional breakdowns with an architect. No, that wouldn’t work.

On a whim I mentioned the other builder in this neighborhood to my realtor and said I’d like to go by and just pick up some information. They have lots of cute homes but none were quite speaking to me. But some had potential.

Long story short I was interested in one but the building realtor pointed out another that started at a lower base point and with the potential to add more rooms upstairs. We passed on it initially because it didn’t appear to come with a third car garage. Once we realized it did I was sold. Then once I found out I could add some space upstairs and stay within budget I was officially in love.

I had found the one.

Things have been touch and go since then. Choosing a lot, submitting offers, waiting on answers, submitting counters.

Not everyone is made for this type of back and forth. There have been a couple times my husband has wanted to pump the breaks or flip us around all together. But the thing is, you can’t give me the green light and allow me to go 90 on the freeway then suddenly pull the emergency break. No my dear, we are going for the finish line.

So now we wait. I’m at a crossroads this week waiting for answers.

Thanks to an incredible realtor, we had two offers on our condo before even listing it on the MLS. Its inspection is this morning. Results from that will determine if we can really close this deal as quickly as we hope. Which will in turn give us the full confidence to move forward with what I really believe is our dream house.

I’m currently waiting to hear an offer back from the builders on our counter offer and praying that all works out the way it’s supposed to (which hopefully is with us living in it).

And finally, I’m waiting to see if I bring home an award for the heart and hard work I’ve put into this blog. But with everything else up in the air at the moment, this would just be the cherry on top.

By the end of this week I’ll have a lot of answers and by golly I’m hoping they’re good ones! Wish me luck.