fbpx

Violated

I can’t get this anger of my chest so I’m hoping writing about it will help.

My daughter and I went out this afternoon, like we do most afternoons, to take photos. We went out to try a new spot downtown, which has lots of antique shops and eclectic backgrounds. I have seen lots of photographers go here for photos and thought it would be a great place for inspiration.

I bought a few changes of clothes for her to wear, including a cute Atlanta Falcon’s jersey I just bought to go with some Happy Crawler football leggings and a matching bow from Chloe and Made. We were planning to go out to a football field to take some fun shots I’ve been envisioning.

I packed her bag with snacks, diapers juice, and toys to make her laugh. I normally don’t bring my wallet with me, but I did today.

We parked on a busy street and walked down the road to some shade and took some pictures on a sidewalk bench. Passerby smiles and waived at her, and we thanked them for their sweet compliments.

After taking several dozen photos we walked back to the car to cool off, and so Lil’ J could have a wardrobe change.

I changed her into a dress, and put another bow on her, fed her some of her snacks and drank some Gatorade myself. We cooled off and got ready to head back out for round two.

We walked down the same street the car was on and took some pictures in font of a fence. Then we walked around the other side of the block and took a few more. I was ready or some new inspiration so we headed back to the car to get her changed into her third outfit and to drive to a football field to talk photos in her jersey onesie.

I talked to her like I always do, as we walked back to the car. I told her what a good girl she was being and how we just had one more stop before going home. But as we walked up to our car I saw glass all around it. Our front passenger window had been busted and pieces of it were all over.

I looked to see what was taken and I first I thought nothing. I had my camera bag, my daughter of course, and I saw her romper sitting on the seat. But then I remembered I hadn’t grabbed the bag with the rest of her things in it.

My phone rang. It was my husband, calling before I had a chance to dial his number with my shaking hands. I told him was happened and that I was going to call the police. I didn’t remember until talking to him that my wallet was in my bag, but there was no cash, just credit and debit cards, which I told him to cancel.

Meanwhile, a woman came by and helped me watch my daughter while I made some phone calls. I still don’t understand how no one could have seen what happened. It was a busy road and it was 7pm, broad daylight. We weren’t ever more than a block away either.

Long story short, my husband came to get our daughter, forensics came to get finger prints off the car, and I came to realize that people suck.

I’ve always been a trusting person. Overly trusting. And I like to believe in the good in everyone. But after today I just don’t understand people. I don’t understand how someone consciously chose to walk up to my car, look inside–undoubtedly notice the infant car seat in the back, along with a baby mirror and other baby crap and break my window.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve had something taken from me. But it’s felt the worst because of the situation I was in. I feel like someone must have been watching us, waiting for us to leave. Who knows, maybe they’re one of the people who walked by and smiled at us as we were taking photographs on the street.

I don’t understand how someone could take a bag and dig through it, looking past baby clothes, a little cup full of snacks for a baby, my daughter’s diapers, and other things a mom needs for her child and just disregard that for their own gain. How can they not feel guilty? How can they not feel bad? What kind of person does that? And for what? A wallet with no cash, and no cards that will get them anywhere. No checks, no money orders, nothing valuable to them.

… But to me?…

They stole more than just my belongings. More than just things I wanted for my child. Things I had bought or worked for. They stole my afternoon with my daughter. They stole my good mood. My faith in people. My trust in the good of men. My right to feeling safe when I go out with my daughter.

I’m so pissed off. But I’m trying to remember how it could have been worse.

At least I had my camera, my camera bag with my lenses, and memory cards with thousands of photos documenting my daughter’s life. At least they didn’t take my phone.. Though if they did I could have used my “locate my iPhone” app and probably found the %#!$*^@s but still…

At least my daughter and I weren’t hurt, and I didn’t have any money in the car. At least we have insurance we’ve been paying into for more than 6 years, never having to file a claim but still need to pay some outrageous deductible because insurance companies are greedy jerks as well.–Oh wait, that’s not a positive.

At least I know better now. Double check my things, trust no one.

Compared to as bad as things could have been, we’re pretty lucky. But it doesn’t keep me from feeling violated.


Latoya says:

I’m sorry to hear about your car break-in, but I’m glad to hear that you and baby are ok. It really does suck. But like you said, at least you still have the items that are of true value to you.

Aw Im so sorry that happened to you! I have never had my wallet stolen but i have had people steal my loose change from my unlocked (stupid i know) car in my driveway. But you can’t trust people these days. Its so sad.

Quiana says:

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a panic moment when I lost my keys with my license that had our address on it and while I was at the playground with Nia, my 10 month old. I thought I needed to change my locks, but the following day the keys were returned. Now I’m super vigilant about my stuff and I’m sure you will be too. I hope the cops are able to find who did this.

Mama B says:

I’m sorry, mama 🙁 People do suck. Something similar happened to my mom last year and it really sucks. Thankfully no one was hurt and the jerkface didn’t get much of anything. Sending you big hugs tonight! 🙂

Jammie says:

I am with you I hate most people, and I trust no one on the streets now days. If I got to walmart at night I make hubs go with me, I hope they find the @sshole that did this… people make me sick… (((hugs)))

B.U.I. says:

Oh my, that is horrible! I’ve never had anything stolen from me in a situation like that but can only imagine how you are feeling right now. Glad you are both okay though. Did your wallet have your license and thus your address in it? Don’t want to make you paranoid if it was but be weary just in case.

I hope that you will find some peace soon!

Heather Johnson says:

I always wanted to know the reasons to that also! I never understood how someone can steal from INNOCENT PEOPLE but they cant/dont want to steal from the others that steal(Guilty people). Smh. Im pissed too! Sadly enough, I can only blame it on a certain type of people. They feel that the ‘rich/stable’ people can ‘do without’. Stealing it will only have them angry temporarily and later the rich/stable person(s) will go and replace what was stolen from them. I believe in Karma, and I believe in the judgement room in the afterlife.

Just know that they dont have the blessings that YOU have. They probably stole your baby items because they had a child themselves that they couldnt support. They will learn their lesson.

Im sorry I dont mean to blabber… And maybe even make things worse lol… Just know that the more people steal/cant be trusted, the more the government tries to put them away!

Tricia says:

Aww, sorry it happened to you. Its hard but, thankfully you had the most important things with you. I’ve learned to, to be kinda psycho, in a nice way about things in the car. My 12 year old likes to leave her backpack right where people can see. I know there’s nothing valuable in it but, with crazy people out there you never know. I constantly put things out of sight. Drives my hubby crazy!

I like the Arabic saying, “Trust God but, tie your camel tight.” lol!

Hoping and wishing for peace for you and lil J. Sad we have to learn such crazy things.

Madgew says:

I am sorry this happened but when you leave anything visible in the car a person who needs money for drugs will take it. I left my car open one night and one night only on my driveway in a wonderful safe area and the next day I went to get change for the meter and my bag with change was gone. A few other cars were also robbed. My fault, left my door open and someone was just passing through and stole from lots of cars that were open. A lesson learned. I also felt violated but truly thought if someone needs the money that badly better they take my change than me.

That sucks! I’m so sorry and I know how you feel. My car has been broken into 3 times and once right in front of my house. It’s an awful feeling and I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am glad you are both okay.

MarfMom says:

I’m so sorry! My labor & delivery bag was stolen out of our car a couple weeks before I had Baby J. It had the outfit we’d picked out to bring him home in, some of my favorite clothes, my nursing bras, and our ipod. I was so upset. I hope your car gets repaired soon and that you can get reimbursed with what was taken.

that’s awful to hear. so sorry. thank God you all are ok…

I totally understand the anger, and the feelings of violation. I had my car broken into on many occasions when I lived downtown, but the WORST thing that happened was my apartment getting burglarized. I came home very early from work for a doctor’s appointment, walked up, and realized my door was wide open. I went inside to find my entire apartment turned upside down, all my valuables gone, and the EFFERS had even eaten food out of my kitchen. OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!! I couldn’t stay there anymore – I broke my lease and moved out immediately. I couldn’t stand being in the same room where thieves had touched my pillows and my clothes. Then you sit and wonder, “HOW? How did they know I wasn’t here? Were they watching me? What if I had come home while they were in the middle of the robbery? HOW CAN ANY HUMAN BEING DO THIS TO ANOTHER?!?!” It’s a horrible feeling – and I can only imagine it being amplified given that you were with your baby. I’m livid for you.

If you were a drinker, I’d say drink yourself into a relaxed state and try to calm the adrenaline that’s probably flying through your blood stream right now. Big hugs, mama.

Chelle says:

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know this must feel horrible. But you have the right thing in mind, it could have been worse so count your blessings. Your precious little one is ok, you are ok, and what was stolen can’t be used. It’s horrible people have to turn to such acts. I’m sending cyber hugs to you and Lil J. I hope that your faith in your fellow man can be restored again one day after things cool off. Please don’t let one bad apple ruin the batch.

Monkey Sews says:

I’m so sorry 🙁 I’m glad you are both okay. 2 weeks ago my sister called me from Greece because she was pick pocketed on the subway. She’s lived in big cities but dropped her guard for a few minutes and lost $1,000, passport, credit cards, drivers lic., etc…. They even zipped the purse back up when they were done. Upsetting? yes – But she too was okay. I’m sending hugs to both of you.

That’s awful. I’m sorry that happened to you. 🙁

swank|mama says:

Awww hun! Sorry to hear this happened to you. I’d totally feel violated too. At least you and Lil J are safe though. And you do have all your pictures & memories. A wallet, car – those are all material things. You definitely cannot replace what is on the memory card.

Hope you feel a bit better after speaking your mind! Time to be a #crazymom again 😉

Irene says:

Shame man Jenny you had to go through that, as you said it sucks but at least we glad you and lil j are fine and they didnt harm you both. the belongings can be replaced though its annoying and costly. Hope you recover from the shock. Keeping you in our prayers. Try not to make it take over your life. Despite what happened there are some good people out there. hugs your way.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sucks : (
I was bummed to see someone had gotten into my car and stolen my daughters portable DVD player a few months back, it wasn’t so much that they’d stolen it, more that the DVD inside meant so much to her and she loved it : (
Some people are scum.

carolpie says:

I am so sorry that happened.
We have a long history of things like that happening to us. In Rome our same window was broken, like that. We were picpocked in Poland. All of our stuff-licenses, cash, credit cards. We have had our cars broken into and radios stollen, and one of the oddest-our car was jacked up in front of our home and the tires and wheels stolen!

Let me tell you what happened to our son last year. He was with a group of friends at the movies-all from the church. Most of them left but he and his good friend Sam stayed to talk some. Some guys came upa nd asked for change and Sam said sure. One grabbed him and got his wallet and then started stabbing him in the neck. My son was in the bed of his truck and thinking how the heck am I going to get help for Sam. Thenthey decide to go after my son. They say throw your wallet down and he does and then they say come down here. He knew if he did they would both attack him. So he quickly jumped our a different said and ran for help yelling to call 911. My son and Sam memorized the license plate and they caught the people and now they are serving in jail. Thank God Sam made it and that they also did not hurt my son.

I am so so careful. I trust no one anymore. You can’t.

In a way it is good to see what can happen. It is so upsetting. Ture. But you just can’t trust anyone. You just can’t.

Anonymous says:

I had the same thing happen to me except the car was parked in my drive way. We had been to 4th of July celebrations that night so i had my camera, video camera and all my memory cards I left in the car because it was so late when we got home. The next morning several cars had been broken into mine included. Everything from my childrens birth, first steps to their first day at Kindergarten was gone. It was a tough lesson to learn to never leave anything in your car that is of value. So glad you guys were not hurt and your captured memories are safe.

I’m so sorry this happened Jen. Please don’t allow this criminal to have any more than what they actually stole…a baby bag, and a wallet full of cards w/ no value to them.
Honestly, they don’t deserve to have your joy. Don’t allow them to steal the afternoon with your daughter or faith in people. That scumbag isn’t worth it!

Tori says:

I know that feeling of violation when someone you don’t know has been in your car for ill intent. When I was a senior in high school, someone broke into my Geo (yes, I drove a Geo) and stole my new aftermarket stereo. They ripped apart my dashboard and messed up the door popping the lock. On top of me having no radio at all for weeks while I waited on insurance. It’s so strange how sacred our cars become to us. How personal.

More recently, I forgot to lock our van in our driveway and someone got in and went through my glove box, leaving the contents on the front seat. They didn’t steal any of our CD’s, the DVDs in the back for the kiddo, nothing except the single quarter I kept in the cup holder for the carts at Aldi (you have to “rent” them there). I don’t know what they were looking for. But it freaked me out. On the plus side, the one item that was on top of the pile on the seat was my bag of OB tampons that I kept in there for emergencies. I like to think those scared them away.

So sorry about your personal violation. Don’t let it sour you on humanity though. It’s true, some people just inherently suck, but there are good people out there too. And one more bright spot to look at is that the window is an easy fix, and it shouldn’t take long. Big hugs Jen!

Gena says:

This is just horrible Jenn. I can’t believe some people. They are really sick at times. 🙁

Jenn I’m so sorry. That is awful and frightening and maddening all at once. I’ve never had an experience like yours but my dear friend had her purse stolen. I was pissed and called her phone, the thief picked it up and I just reamed him. 🙂 It felt good, even if it’s not the “right” thing to do. A few weeks later a student found her wallet and id cards thrown in a ditch. Of course he did the right thing and contacted her. There are good people and there are disturbed people who do bad things. I’m sorry this happened, and I am so grateful that your camera was not in the car!

People can be so heartless and mean! I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad to know that you and the little one is safe. Your life is more important than any material items.

I am so sorry about what happened! It appalls the mind and shakes the world of safety, doesn’t it. Try to not take it personally. You were personally targeted and neither was your daughter. Chances are that it was a person with a single goal in mind – find money for the next fix. Imagine the disappointment when s/he gets nothing out of it but a few cuts (which you kind of hope s/he got, huh?).

It’s not you. Someone needs rehab.

I meant you were NOT personally targeted. Wow. what a typo.

We are so sorry about what happened and are just so glad that you and baby J are safe and sound. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, don’t let this thug may have stolen your belongings, but don’t let them steal your great attitude and faith in people.

melifaif says:

Same thing happened to me. This time, last year. In a First Baptist Parking lot, no doubt!?!?! Huh????? People have no shame. And just like you….they got nothing. Some make up and my daughters diaper bag. Really!? It sucks. I know the feeling. And I am sorry. But, you said it….at least it wasn’t your camera, your memories, you, your daughter. All the MOST important things now….are just….let down. I know….and I am sorry. Again.

Sarah says:

I can see from all the comments that we should not be surprised this happened. Yes, people are sometimes inhumane and it’s sad. But if they rape children and elders how could you not think someone would rifle past cheerios to steal your wallet? This happened to my husband but thankfully all they got was a GPS. I am sure they hoped for cash in your wallet. I am terribly sorry it happened, but not surprised.

I’m not surprised. Just pissed. And sad that people can be this way.

Kristin says:

I am so sorry! I have at least a funny incident like yours, my sister and I were living in Provo going to BYU, and early in the morning she woke up and said, “hey that sounds like my car alarm” and went to sleep again. Well, it WAS her car alarm…nothing was stolen, they had broken the window only to find nothing valuable in the car. We laugh about it now, but I am always sure to look out the window no matter the time of day if I hear my car alarm. It is sad you can’t even know your things are safe with an alarm anymore.

Celeste says:

Oh my word! Jenn, I would feel the exact same way if this happened to me. Wow. I have no words.

Lindsay says:

Oh that sucks! I’m so sorry you had to encounter such a sad side of humanity 🙁

Anonymous says:

Hi I’ve been following your blog for a little while now but have never commented.

Just wanted to say I’m so sorry this happened to you! You have every right to be angry.
I too believe in the inherent good of people. But I guess we have to remember that we never know another person’s situation, frame of mind, life story, etc. Not to excuse the thief/vandal, but I think it helps to keep things in perspective. And not give him/her too much credit!

Remember the nice woman who helped you take care of your little one …remember all the nice people you met that day. Don’t let one person ruin your faith in humanity! 🙂 If anything, I feel sorry for that person. To be so desperate that you steal from a mother and a baby–you must be in a really sad and disturbed state of mind.

Megan says:

How awful. I once had a bag stolen, and within a few hours, the person had downloaded over $1000 in crap on my phone! And I don’t even have a smart phone! Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for it. It was almost kinda funny because the guy downloaded all of these soft porn pics and videos…and also the Bible.

Johanna says:

I’m so sorry Jen! What an awful experience!

YUMMommy says:

So, sorry to hear about this. However, the most important thing is that you and J weren’t hurt. I know actually how you’re feeling. Four years ago my husband got me my first car. It was a fresh off the truck cream Honda Civic.

One month later, I was at work and went to go get some lunch only to discover my car missing. I was going crazy racing up and down the parking garage. Nobody had saw anything. A few minutes later, I got a call on my job from the police that my car was found set on fire beside the highway.

Long story short, although my car got stolen, it was a blessing that I wasn’t there to witness the crime. Who knows what could have happened had I tried to stop the thief from stealing my car. I also took comfort in the fact that God says when people do stuff for our harm, karma will come back on them.

So, the person who broke into your car will get their just reward. And then they’ll wonder why something so terrible is happening to them and it’ll be because of what they did to you. Don’t let one bad person cause you to group all people into their category. You just have to be careful and ask God to show the people who are going to be positive and protect you from those who aren’t.

db artsy says:

Aww, that really sucks and completely understand your anger. It feels bad when someone breaks into your car. I remember my husband’s car was broken into on Christmas Eve. Why? Because he had just gotten a new sound system and he had a nice speaker on the back. They broke the window took it out and they didn’t care who was affected.

Unfortunately, there are bad people in this world, and as well people that are desperate enough for whatever reason that they steal. Sad that they have stooped so low and frustrating how they really don’t care who they affect.

Don’t lose your trust in humanity, you had a nice lady help you. This is one human being that has made a bad, bad choice. Oh, and insurance companies do suck too! Those are thieves in suits, hee hee.

Thank goodness you had your camera with you. Your ID and cards can be replaced, all your pics not so much. Feel happier soon.

How unbelievable horrible! I can’t even believe some people have that kind of nerve…or desperation! I have three children and am always taking them to the park, and it’s so ridiculous how worried I always am about trying to keep such a close eye not only on them, but my belongings and car as well. Sorry this happened to you. =(
Kristina J.

Tanya says:

Oh my gosh Jennifer. I’m so, so sorry. Interestingly enough, i have recently been “violated” in Barcelona last week when 3 men robbed me. I will be writing about it on my blog soon but EVERYTHING you described in this post, how you felt, etc. is EXACTLY what went through my mind when the incident happened to me. I FEEL your pain and thoughts girl. I mean geniunely really feel it. Glad you and your precious one are safe.

Susan says:

that is such a bust for the day. that happened to me a few years ago. all ready to go out for my day and i come to find that someone decided to break my passenger window with a brick. how do i know it was a brick? because the loser accidentally hit my car before actually hitting the window! i don’t understand? how could you miss? what did they take? NOTHING! because there was nothing..okay maybe $1 in quarters, ugh that ruined my day as I’m sure this did yours. sorry to hear that it happened but at least you and your daughter are ok.

toi says:

Oh I am so, so sorry to hear about this horrible episode in your life. I hope you are feeling better now.

I was one violated during a Christmas holiday trip in Rome 1998. I had work so hard for the money in that wallet, about 250 euros. I was saving to go and treat myself. I was silly to leave my the wallet on a phone booth for a fraction, but thieves in Rome are like flash. The wallet was stolen in a blink of an eye.

But the funny thing was, when three months later I decided to forget about receiving what was in my wallet – yes, I still believed in a miracle – I decided to go and get a new ID. The same day I received a letter in the post with my ID and the return ticket from Rome. There was a note saying that the person who sent me the letter saw a homeless person throwing something away and he or she went to look what was and saw my ID with my picture and I seemed nice so he or she thought about sending me my ID and return ticket from Rome in hope that I could get the ticket refunded. I am sure it was the same thief who had the heart to return my ID and return ticket. Maybe she or he need that money more than I did. But in the end what was more important was the love I received while in the company of my bigger sister in Rome.

This said I hope the person who did what he or she did to your car can be found or at least has a good heart enough to return your wallet and the things that he or she might not need.

All the best,

toi

Sarah says:

This happened to my husband’s car when it was parked at a train station. It really upset us too. Luckily they didn’t get any more than some spare change (how desperate). What pissed us off the most was the fact that they couldn’t just cleanly break the window. They mangled the frame and totally scraped the paint off the door. It was awful!

Kristine says:

I’m so sorry. Both my house and car have been broken into, and I could feel that anger and sense of violation again just reading your post. It’s an awful feeling. xo

Wendy* says:

Oh Jenn–I’m just seeing this. I’m so sorry this happened to you, especially during a time when you had the babe with you.

I can completely sympathize with how you’re feeling…when I started college in Atlanta I was robbed and physically assaulted RIGHT in front of my school. Like you, I thought that because I was in a visible place and so many people were around that someone would see me and help. Unfortunately, in my case, people indeed saw the altercation but instead watched as I struggled with the little, no-good thief :-/

Like you, I was completely caught off guard and I initially took away negative feelings about people from my experience…I mean, not only was I robbed (which shakes one’s core on its own) but people saw what happened (someone even ran up to me after and asked, “Was he trying to kidnap you?”–I thought, “Wow, you thought I was being kidnapped and you didn’t even try to get help?!”). But now I reflect on the experience differently…The sad truth is that there are some horrible people out there and I now know that “I” am the one that has to look out for me and it’s nobody else’s responsibility. I am by no means paranoid but rather just much more conscious of my surroundings and make more responsible choices when it comes to my whereabouts. I hope when the frenzy settles, you too can reflect on it as a sort of eye-opening “I gotta watch my back but still do what makes me happy” lesson too ::hugs::

–Wendy*

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

headshot

I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



follow @jenniferborget on

watch @jenniferborget on