I can understand most of those, but I don’t agree with many of them. I loved my husband for getting me pregnant. I actually loved being pregnant a lot! (My pregnancy story is on my blog too).

And when they cut you to get the baby out, it’s called an episiotomy, and they are completely ridiculous. Natural tears heal faster, and if you are prepared and have good positions and feel comfortable during labor, you won’t tear as much and won’t need an episiotomy. They are completely not necessary like doctors think they are.

Let down does hurt. But it is nice knowing your milk i s coming out. And it feels SOOOO good when it happens. It is like a release of pressure. It was fantastic!

I was never constipated in pregnancy. I hear it happens though.

And no hemmorhoids either…

And your boobs do sag, but they are still perky. At least mine are ;). They aren’t as full as they were before I nursed, but I figure it is a good trade. And I figure only my husband will see them, and that’s fine with me! Oh, and that’s why they make underwire on bras!

The contractions before labor are customary. I had mine for 7 months. They never hurt though. Some people say they do, but all it did to me was made it a little harder to breath and I could feel everything get really tight. Never any pain though.

And I agree with your other post about how this episode scared you from having kids. I think if they had had women from our religion on that show, it would have been a completely different perspective. I have never seen anyone in church, or any of my friends that have had this many bad things to say about motherhood. There are ups and downs, sure, but they’re part of you and that makes them more special than words.

Why do you even bother listening to the negative? There are people who think life is too much work, or that it’s a “let down” or that they hate it…yet you don’t, do you? You don’t regret living?

Being a mother is hard work…yes. But if you truly feel that you WANT to be a mother, you will relish in it, even when it’s hard. Even when you feel like your kids have crawled up your butt to set up permanent residence.

My son drives me bonkers some days…but there is nothing – nothing! – as precious as seeing him grin at me and say “mama!” with a hug.

If you want the positives AND the uncertainty about motherhood, read a few of my blog entries. I don’t hold back. =P

I won’t get into all of these, but the last one is definitely not true. Episiotomy used to be done universally to all/most moms, but it turns out that there is no scientific basis for doing it except in extremely rare situations. Episiotomies do no prevent tearing; in fact, they are connected with WORSE tearing than just leaving things alone. Some women will get minor tears, and they’re easily repaired and heal quickly. However, episiotomies take longer to heal and are more painful. They are also connected with the really bad, deep tearing into the rectum, which is quite rare without an episiotomy. Some docs still do them a lot, some never do them at all. It’s good to ask your doctor or midwife about their episiotomy rate (get an actual number, not just “it’s average”). Run away from any that are above the low single digits. One midwife I worked with did one in her entire career for a very exceptional circumstances. I know others who have never done one in over 1,000 births. So don’t fret about this one–just choose a care provider who doesn’t do them, and of course do things like give birth in something other than the “stranded beetle” position which makes tearing more likely since it puts a lot of extra pressure on the perineum (the tissue between the vagina and rectum, where you usually tear if it happens).

I never had hemorrhoids or constipation. I don’t remember labor smelling particularly like anything. Nothing that made me go “eew, stinky!” for sure. Letdown feels warm and tingly–kind of like when you smell something really delicious and you can feel your cheeks pucker up and you start salivating; it’s that same kind of feeling but in your chest. And yeah, I am definitely more droopy than before–wasn’t used to it, being an A cup before I had my first. Now I’m a C. But I also have cleavage now so that’s kind of fun.

I’m adopting. I really think it’s ridiculous with all our scientific discoveries and advancement, that labor and delivery is still such a nightmare.

I’m 30 weeks pregnant right now and the only things I wish someone had told me is a) that not everyone gets pregnant right away, and b) how uncomfortable I’d be. Breathing is tough, eating is tough, moving is tough, and I ended up with an extremely rare condition called PUPPP (google it) where I’m basically allergic to my unborn son. Not fun. But I’m told that no matter how awful pregnancy is, it’s all worth it the minute you see that tiny face 🙂 Pregnancy is different for everyone, and you won’t know what you get from it until you do it yourself. Don’t let Oprah scare you out of it!

Have to say- episiotomy- not necessary in most cases. Think of a piece of fabric being pulled, stretched almost to the breaking point. It may eventually tear. Now take the same fabric and make a small cut in it. Now pull it with the same force as before. Big tear likely. Episiotomy is the same but with not just skin- muscle. In fact it is the muscle that is partly responsible for female orgasm so consider talking to your midwife or ob way in advance about using this practice as routine.

“Some women say you “loose yourself”– but I’m assuming that’s a problem you run into if you don’t already know yourself. I don’t think it’s “Loosing yourself” but gaining another part of yourself…But I’m not a mom so what do I know?”

I think this part is hard to explain- it’s not that we get lost. It’s that we evolve. We become part of a new paradigm for our lives. Our priorities shift toward our kids, our families. And it is definitely possible for this to happen without feeling like anything is lost. But many women occasionally miss parts of our pre-kid lives. Not because we would exchange what we found, just because we liked who we were then too.

I had 2 great pregnancies, medication free labor and birth and a very empowering labor the second time. I’m excited for you on this journey, planning your family.

One last thing- lice is easily treated (altho I’ve not had to deal with this personally yet). Lice need to breath to live. Just coat hair/scalp with olive oil, cover in towel overnight, shampoo in the morning. Messy but Done. And without chemicals.

Motherhood is where we become resourceful (in a new way) and hopefully find others who help us along the way.

So yes you get constipated when pregnant and that resulted to hemorroids for me. TMI, but it is true.
Also about losing yourself, for me it’s always what I should be doing for the kids. Sometimes I don’t take enough time for myself and I think that is what they mean. You are always thinking about your kids and what you can do for them, how you can be better; your just sucked into their world. Which is great, but every now and then a girls night out or something that you enjoy to do to get away helps you not to lose yourself. For example, I still take a ballet class once a week and that really helps me. I think when moms don’t take time, then life can be hard as a mom.
I mean, you are supposed to learn to be more selfless but I think that when you are not taking the time to do the little thinks for yourself then you can’t be a good mother. You have to do take care of yourself in order to help those around you.
When I was a new mother it was really hard. Yes, it was hard for me to not be instantly in love with my son. WHy? Not because i’m a bad person, but for me it was all new. I didn’t know what to expect and plus my hormones were still all jacked up.
After spending time with my new baby I started to love him more and more. Every hour it seemed like, but then I realized what it was about and I really did enjoy it.
I would be lying if I said it wasn’t hard, but that is what makes it more fun. You can see yourself growing and becoming a better person everday and at the same time you get to hang out with some of the coolest little people ever.
Those are my two cents. Oh yes, I’ve had to be cut when my babies were born, but I would perfer that then tear everywhere and have it hurt more. Also, it if they sew you up a little tighter then it makes it better for….you know what later.

For the record, almost none of those things happened to me, and I have two babies. Hon, at the end of the day, you may have 9 months of off and on feelings ranging between blessed and cursed, but IT ENDS, and you get to be with a little piece of heaven and a physical representation of the love you and your husband share.

Well, you already got a lot of info from the other commenters, BUT…I just wanted to say, labor did stink for me! I mean, there was a smell. It was really just after the baby was born. I think it is just all the fluids and stuff. It wasn’t terribly offensive, but there was a strange smell to it all. And then I got to hold my baby and sniff his head, and I forgot all about any other smell! 😀

Okay..I’m going to give my opinion on alot of the topics mentioned so bear with me! 😉

I never had hemorroids. Although I have heard that they can develop after a vaginal birth, I never had one of those so I dont know.

Boobs, yeah..the definitely aren’t so perky after they are stretched to 4x their normal size! Make sure after your milk comes in, even if you breastfeed, you may have to pump some extra the first few weeks to keep yourself from getting engorged and possibly getting mastitis(I had it, it’s painful and miserable!!). After a few weeks your body will regulate how much milk it makes to feed the baby without you have so much excess! I promise!

The little boy thing is true, and very disturbing!

You wont hate you husband, I never did!! Yes you’ll be uncomfortable, miserable even, but you’ll still love that wonderful man you have!

Hmm, not liking the baby right away. I will admit, that when I had my 3rd child, I had trouble feeling a connection with her at first. But I didn’t not like her. It just took a few extra days to really have that beautiful bond that I felt with the other 2 right away. I blame the fact that I had a rough time during that c-section and was not feeling well for a couple of days. All I wanted to do was sleep and be left alone. I dont think it had anything to to with her..just me feeling crappy.

You wont lose your choices, you’ll just have to find ways to be creative to include your baby.

You also wont lose yourself. You actually become a more amazing person because of becoming a mother.

I have never felt like I hate my kids, sure there are some days I dont like them very much, or rather dont like how their acting, but never have I hated them!

Yep, the constipation sucks, especially if you are low on iron and your OB puts you on iron pills..ugh.

You wont always have to be cut during labor. Again, I didn’t have a natural birth, but I do know that that doesn’t always happen!

One more thing I wanted to add that you may or may not know already. When I got pregnant with my 3rd child. I was severely nauseaus ALL DAY LONG. It was debilitating because I couldn’t move without this incredible sense of misery overwheliming me. I never had morning sickness with my 2nd baby, and I had it in the afternoon’s with my 1st. But with my 3rd, it was an all day thing. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t take care of my other 2 kids, I was miserable. But after breaking down and calling my doctor, I found out that I could take a medication that would ease the nausea and make me be able to function again. DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL YOUR DOCTOR IF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS TO YOU!! You do not have to suffer though extreme nausea or sickness just because you’re pregnant! You CAN take this medicine safely.

I am not afraid. For generations and generations this is what women have done. If my grandmother and mother could do it, hell ya I can. I will use drugs, I will not hate my husband, and I will love the kids to death. : )

I agree with Kayce Pearson and can relate on basically everything. Except, I had NO contractions until the day I went into labor. No hemroids for me and no constipation.

I LOVED my baby from the moment I got pregnant. Mostly I was just realizing that she was MINE and that I got to take her home. Labor itself was really surreal for me in that I looked down and thought, “Oh, that’s not that bad!” about the size of her head.

And, like so many other women, I think episitomies are TOTALLY unnecessary.

Two items on your list are totally false.

“Pump or explode” and “they have to cut the skin between your vagina and your rectum so you don’t rip” (Okay, so the words may not be exact on the second, but they are on the first.)

I have to say that pumping to relieve any over-fulness will cause the problem to continue and EVEN exacerbate it! If you feel full, your baby probably needs to nurse!!!! If baby won’t because s/he is sleeping (I’ve NEVER had this problem, my babies will take the nippy even when sleeping), then wait until s/he wakes up!

My brain has failed me in remembering the name for this procedure…. but allowing Docs to cut your perineum is rarely ever (almost never) a good idea. You see, allowing the cut creates, in essence, a third degree tear right off the bat. Not all women tear! Why would you want to go from a possibility to a FOR SURE thing in such a negative experience??? The incision (if you allow them to cut you) HAS to be sewed up and takes quite a long time to heal because it’s an unnatural separation of the sensitive tissues (read: definitely no sex for 6 weeks after the birth of your baby! I prefer to wait that long regardless, but at least it’s possible prior to 6 weeks if you end up with no rippage and/or very minor). IF you tear badly enough you may need stitches (you may want them even if it’s not a bad tear just so you don’t have to worry about sitting prim and proper with legs together – big deal to me because tailor sitting is very helpful for nursing). The only reason Docs cut is to make their own professional life easier… it takes more time and effort to carefully put the sides together when a woman rips. They don’t want to take more time (even though they are being paid a high price for being present for only a few minutes to “officially” birth a baby if you have an actual Doc there). A GOOD reason to allow rippage (IF you end up having any at all ANYWAY! Not everyone does!!!) is because the skin heals more quickly and with less possibility of infection because you’ve kept things NATURAL.

Sorry for the blog response. But I had to clear that muddiness from your list.

Have you read “The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy”? I think the author’s name is Vicki Iovine. (not sure of the spelling). I thought it was a really great book for learning about all of these types of things.

Here is something funny… Not only will you be able know your kid by her cry… you’ll also be able to tell is she is the one that needs the diaper change by the smell of the poop. I can always tell if it’s my kid or not with out even checking.

I read a few pregnacy books but then I threw them all out. I really liked doing my pregnacy with out it. I felt that if I looked to the “experts” then that is what I would be expecting. Taking it one day at a time I got to really enjoy my pregnancies {and now my kids} for what it is, and not what what the books say it should be.

Oh yes…. one more not so glamorous pregnancy thing (lol): The flatulence. You are so much more gaseous while pregnant… so this is def. something that u and DH will have to get used to. lol