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The Way to Break the News

NO I’m not pregnant, I’m just getting prepared for that day which may come soon or one day far far from now I have no clue! Hey, that’s what this blog is all about!

I know I threw out the topic before in this post of sharing baby makin’ time (or TTC for some of you). It seemed like a lot of you didn’t. I don’t think I will either… It takes away the surprise you know? (But still… No, I’m not). But when the deed is done and you’re with-spawn, when did you share the news?

I hear 3 months is the general guideline, just in case there’s a loss. I can understand that, but at the same time that’s 3 months excitement out the door!

I guess it depends how open I am to disclosing the ups and downs of my pregnancy. I know people who told everyone (announcing on Facebook) the moment they found out!! I think I’ll be somewhere in between. I want to keep it secret for as long as I can so we’d have time to soak it in. Then leak the news to parents and best friends, then maybe once I begin to get phat (yes I spelled it that way on purpose) I’ll tell people I work with. Oh, and I don’t think I’ll be able to help but leak the news here on my blog right away either–Well, after family is informed… It’s my diary for goodness sakes, I can’t help it if people read it! (If you work with me you’ll be sworn to secrecy) Hmm, what would you do if you were me? And what did you do?

Ok and next important matter to discuss… HOW to tell. I’ve always thought it would be cute to think of a cute way to tell my husband and our parents but I know if I don’t think of it WAY in advance I’ll just blurt it out… Which is ok too but I think it would be fun to do something cute.

I’m not sure if he’ll be the type to count down to the test date and want to know right away… I imagine he’ll forget and I’ll be the one alone with my count downs and tests, which is a better set up for a surprise. And what better way to share such exciting news than with a surprise?!

I’ve heard a few cute things like setting little shoes next to his shoes on the side of the bed. Leaving the test out for him to find. Michelle wrote a whole post with cute ideas!

I already know how I want to tell our parents! I’m not sure if they read my blog… Pretty sure they don’t for the most part so I’ll share ok?(and if you are reading don’t peek!)— I want to have a normal phone conversation with them, then when we’re hanging up say “bye grandma” and hang up, and see how long it takes for them to call back. I dunno, it’s an idea I heard of awhile ago and I thought it would be cute.

But other than that I have no idea where to start for ideas, and I’m kind of scared to even research any right now cause I may get too giddy and I don’t need giddy right now… I need serious, level headed! So help me out! What did you do? Or what do you plan to do? What’s the cutest idea you’ve heard?! Let’s stock up!!

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And the winner of the Cloth Diaper Giveaway brought to you by DiaperKits.com is Lucky number Carrie of Make it Count! Woohoo! Get me your information!

I also have not one or two but THREE more giveaways coming up! So stay tuned!! And if you have something you’re interested in sponsoring here for a giveaway email me at babymakingmachine@gmail.com


HomeGirl says:

I told my husband on webcam. He was in Europe for work when I took the test. During our daily webchat I held up two positive tests in the camera. It was so cool. He was all teeth. 🙂 Unfortunately, I miscarried after 8 weeks that time. The second time, we were in a Chicago hotel room. I had packed the tests, because I wanted to start testing as soon as the time window was open. We got a positive test (for baby Zack!) and both did our happy dance all the way to the theater to see The Color Purple. 🙂

Mallory says:

Honestly, I don’t remember how I told my hubby. But I called my mom and said, “Hey, Grandma” to her, and she flipped out! Fun stuff!

Curls says:

This comment has been removed by the author.

OMG Pregnant says:

Well, ours was a total surprise as you’ve read on our blog, and I made my man swear to secrecy until I was used to it myself … but then I got taken ill and we decided we would have to tell our parents in case something happened when he was at sea (he’s in the royal navy). We skyped his mum and dad – and just blurted it out, and after deciding we’d phrase it a bit better to my parents, failed miserably and just blurted it out … again!

I love your idea of calling them Grandma on the phone. Very cute!

Mama Nut says:

We just told our parents. They would have been seriously upset if we kept it from them — they are like that. Living in a small it is hard to keep a secret and we knew if we didn’t tell them right away, they would have heard it from someone else, and we couldn’t have that. Now that we have 2, it wouldn’t be a big deal to them if we got pregnant again. Most likely we would hear, “Again?!” LOL

Reiza says:

Mine is long, so forgive me. I’ll try to keep this brief.

My husband was military. He told some of his friends we were going to TTC when we were in the same state again. Once we were, they joked with him about it and he replied, “The troops have been deployed.” I was SO embarrassed, but I used it to my advantage later.

When I finally got a positive blood test, I bought a pack of plastic Army men and put them in a box with a letter written in stuffy formal military style. The note mentioned how the troops had been successful in their mission. I left the box for him at work.

The return address listed the initials we planned to use for a boy and a girl. I wrote, “and/or” between them. We wound up having twins. 🙂

Second pregnancy, we tried for a while. When I got the positive test, I grabbed those old Army men and had each of the twins take them to dh at the office. They handed them to him and said, “Good job, Daddy.” It took him a second, but he was thrilled. 🙂

Last time, I took the test at the store and it was negative. I started to drive home and when I looked at it again, noticed it was actually a faint positive. I rushed to dh at work and showed him. Nothing too creative that time because I was in shock. I was sure it had been negative.

Beth says:

My husband and I just made out “big announcment” yesterday! I wanted to wait until we entered the 2nd trimester (or as close as we could get) to it…I’m 11 weeks. Anyway, we invited both sides of parents and grandparents over for a bbq. I made cupcakes for dessert and labeled the ones for our mom’s and grandmother’s “grandma” and “great grandma”. We handed out the cupcakes to all the other’s first and then we each gave our mother and grandmother their own special cupcake.

The expressions on their faces are not something I will ever forget!!

Michelle says:

Those are awesome ways to tell!

Well we told the DAY I found out…I just couldnt wait. I’m not much for hiding my joys from the people in my life…and if I miscarry, I want them to share that with me too.

I feel safe and strong knowing that whatever happens it’s God’s design anyway. And I shouldnt have to face it alone. I want the people I LOVE to grieve the loss of my child, if that ever happens.

I should have waited, but we had been trying for a few months, so the second I got the positive, I texted everyone on my phone. Then I called my husband on his way home from class. Then after class we called our families. It wasn’t the greatest, but I was too excited to wait!!

Holly says:

With our first we told the second we knew. With our second we waited a month and a half. With our first I just kind of knew ahead of time and walked in my mom’s office and handed her a bib that said World’s greatest grandma. With the second I gave her a pic of #1 in a shirt that said Big Brother. My sister and dad got early birthday cards (9 months early)

Tracey says:

Buy a father’s day card as soon as you can and save it for when you want to tell your hubby he’s going to be a dad!

I think it is best to wait until you are 3 months along to tell people….I’ve had a lot of friends who told before then and then lost the baby…it is hard enough, but to have to then tell everyone again that you lost the baby…I can’t imagine….I’d have fun just knowing I’m pregnant…GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!

The first time we were pregnant, I left the stick in the bathroom on the counter. I then asked my husband to go in and get my brush so he’d find it.

We told our family after the 10-week ultrasound. We made copies of the print-out and put them in picture frames. Then we gave them to our parents in gift bags, and told them we’d had some pictures taken recently. When they saw the picture, they were all SOO surprised and excited!!

The second time around was much less dramatic for my husband and I, since we’d experienced two miscarriages and were TTC. He was heavily involved in the “getting pregnant” process, so there were no chances of surprising him.

We WERE able to surprise our parents, though. We’d recorded the 20-week ultrasound (deciding to wait longer after other disappointments), then took the DVD to their house, telling them we had been making plans for taking a cruise and wanted to show them the information. We are SUCH good LIARS!!

Monica says:

I told my family right away but waited as long as possible to tell my in-laws. I told them when I could not hide it any longer.

I gave them a pack of pink and blue Jelly Belly’s with a poem about whether the baby would need pink or blue. It went over well.

Fresh Mommy says:

I’ve never been one that could hide it well… I always wanted to share. And I’m ok with sharing the ups and downs. With my second pregnancy, I shared right away… and then had to share the bad news as well. But I’m ok with that and would probably do it again. We’re trying again now!!

Tamara says:

Ive thought about this for myself, and I honestly have no clue how long I’d keep the secret and how I would tell hubby. Most likely, he will be right there with me as I test, because he is so familiar with my cycles. As far as telling folks, we are pretty private people, but then if i did miscarry, i wouldnt want everyone asking me why im so down and sad. So i dunno. I figure i will know for sure when i get there.

I just blurted it to my hubby and had to tell my Mom (but she had to keep it a secret). I couldn’t contain my self any of the three times! The first (or maybe it was the second?) time, though, we gave a gift to my Dad the share the news. I think it was a coffee cup with Grampa (or something similar) on it. He loved it and was super happy for us. ^_^

I certainly was aware of the possibility of miscarriage, but I figured that it would be easier if people knew so that I’d have support if I did lose the baby.

This last time we shared the news almost as soon as we knew (around 7 weeks). I think next time I will wait a bit longer. It’s sweet that people care, but it DOES get tiring to be asked every week about it for 35 weeks! Especially those last two I was “overdue”!!!!!! And next time I’m going to be very ambiguous about the due date so people aren’t totally freakin me out about how “late” I am. So far my babies have been 11, 14, and 17 days “late” so it seems likely that I’m a long pregnant lady and it’s annoying to have to answer the same questions SO long! At least, it was for me this last time (3rd time).

I didn’t do anything cutesy to announce my pregnancy. My husband was out of town when I found out so when he returned I whipped out the stick and said “surprise!” Not too smooth but he got the point.

I had this weird thing where I would think I was and then need to have a pregnancy test for “things to flow normally” so when it came out positive my husband was opening champagne and calling me crazy. I just look at him and said well, this month I’m not.
I didn’t want to tell my co-workers, but I had to tell my boss because I was so tired and getting nose bleeds and leaving to get food (in the first month)
I told my Dad and Sister and Brother, then my brother blurted it out at our large Easter gathering, because my sister was pregnant and everybody was pampering her and he forgot they didn’t know and pointed out that I should be getting my favored too because I was pregnant too.

Amy says:

Ugh I just left a comment and the internet went out when I hit post! So as I was saying, WE usually wait to tell everyone until 3 months just in case. I do tell my parents and my best friends rather soon. However I realized something with my last pregnancy we waited and then lost the baby @ 18wks and I realized that it really doesn’t matter b/c it was nice to have some support. A nurse who attended me said that she had 3 miscarriages and the hardest ones were the ones that no one knew about b/c they hadn’t announced the pregnancy. Although the loss was hard it was comforting to know that people cared and they were sensitive to my feelings.

As for the announcing to the hubs: a friend did the fortune cookie thing and it was so cute.

Anyhow thanks for stopping by and leaving us a comment. Hope you have a great week. I am off to explore your blog a bit.

With my first, I was actually at my mom’s house and I took a test and it was positive and I ran downstairs and showed her while I was calling my husband on the phone. (He was working.) I just blurted it out to everyone asap.

Since my hubby and I are trying for #2, I am SO nervous about how to break the news to my parents. I am worried they won’t be excited (they worry a little too much about their kids coping in a tough economy), so this time I am hoping I can keep the news from them as long as possible. I will probably end up getting too excited and tell them anyway. When I have exciting news, I can’t wait at all!:)

Oh, I had a friend who gave baby bibs to her parents as a christmas gift. One said “I love Grandma” and the other said, “I love Grandpa.” They were thrilled. This could work for any gift giving occasion, not just Christmas. Or just a gift out of the blue. I thought it was cute.

Hey SITSta! My husband and I found out I was pregnant together when we both kind of realized that we should take a test since Aunt Flo never popped by for a visit. And, we called our parents immediately. Never really made a public announcement though. I guess we were super boring about it, ha!

lozzi84 says:

As our baby wasn’t planned the positive test result was a bit of a shock. My partner found out when I walked into the bedroom with the positive test, I was crying in shock and tossed the test onto his lap. He was pretty shocked too but gave me a hug and said he couldn’t wait to be a daddy.
The way he told his mum was pretty fun though. She is disabled and lives with him, they had been discussing what to do with the spare bedroom before we had found out I was expecting. So he just blurts out “what do you think about turning the small room into a nursery?”
I told quite a few people very early on, my view is if you don’t mind sharing the bad news (if it happens) then you should share the good!

Selaen says:

I told some of my friends when I found out. My bf was with me when I found out. I miscarried 2 weeks later and wished I hadn’t told everybody.

I think it’s the first 12 weeks that everybody wants to go over and make sure that the pregnancy “sticks”, because telling people you miscarried is a major thing.

When I do eventually get pregnant, want to keep the baby and think it’s gonna stay, I’d like to send cards to people I care about.. You know those “it’s a boy” cards… Possibly with a scan picture in between? I dunno, it’s a long way away likes! 😀

xx

Marly says:

With each of my kids, I just showed my husband the test. I would do that with the negative ones too, so he never knew if he was going to a positive or negative 🙂 I’ve always had to test when he was home and I’m horrible at keeping secrets!

With my first we told my parents with a Bernstain Bears book. Something about going to grandma and grandpa’s house. I was the first to have kids, so they figured it out pretty fast. We wrote inside it “coming sometime in July”

With my second we just called everyone at 12 weeks, including our parents.

Honestly, I can’t even remember what we did with our third but with our fourth I bought some iron on letters and put “big sister” on my daughters onesie. It took my mom forever to figure it out. It took dh’s family a while too. They just kept saying “you’re not the big sister, you’re the little sister” We told them all sooner because it was Christmas time and we thought it would be a fun time to tell them.

We told all friends and extended family at the 12 week mark. Except close friends, I just told them on the phone. Like I said, I’m horrible at secrets and I need someone to talk to!

I suspected I was prego, and I wanted my husband to be with me when I took the test that I thought would confirm my suspicions. (It did.) I saw the positive sign and had a minute to be excited alone, then I ran into our room and showed my huusband – it was so fun to share that moment with him.

As far as telling my work … we waited until we heard the baby’s heartbeat at 11 weeks. I made little cupcakes with signs that said “Guess Who’s Expecting?” and put them on everyone’s desks before they got there that day. It was fun for people to guess!

Kiki says:

With my first pregnancy I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. So very close friends and family knew before my 13 weeks were up. And then I lost the baby. Although I was grateful of the support I got from everyone I didn’t want to talk about it or have comforting company over. I needed to be alone. So when I got pregnant for the 2nd time I had NO desire to tell ANYONE. I wanted to keep it to myself until I was certain that this one would stick around for a while.

I bought tiny little baby socks and I had Grandma and Grandpa embroidered onto them, put them in tiny little boxes with bows and told my parents that I had made something for them. When they opened them my mother jumped up screaming and smothered me with hugs.

Well, i took a bunch of tests because I couldn’t believe I was pregnant {I was supposed to be infertile} put them in a shoe box and gave them to my Husband after I told him. LOL That was funny.

Then, I took the ultrasound pic and had it made into a card at Kinkos that said “Coming soon…the first (My last name) and (His last name) joint production, in association with The Big Guy, then the ultrasound pic and on the inside it said “Expected Release date early Spring of 2005”. Everybody loved it. I thought it was pretty original, but I didn’t have the internet or blog back then, so someone may have already had the same idea. LOL

And wait until you’re 12 weeks to tell the whole world. Although people may figure it out before then if you have serious morning sickness or food aversions early on.

Good Luck! 🙂

Joy says:

I know. I’m a little late with my comment. I wish I had a great “tell him” story but I don’t. He went out and bought me a test because I had been acting like a loon. So the “surprise” wasn’t there. We were just as blissful about it though. Anyway you do it will be the right way.

Kiki says:

With my first pregnancy I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. So very close friends and family knew before my 13 weeks were up. And then I lost the baby. Although I was grateful of the support I got from everyone I didn’t want to talk about it or have comforting company over. I needed to be alone. So when I got pregnant for the 2nd time I had NO desire to tell ANYONE. I wanted to keep it to myself until I was certain that this one would stick around for a while.

I bought tiny little baby socks and I had Grandma and Grandpa embroidered onto them, put them in tiny little boxes with bows and told my parents that I had made something for them. When they opened them my mother jumped up screaming and smothered me with hugs.

lozzi84 says:

As our baby wasn’t planned the positive test result was a bit of a shock. My partner found out when I walked into the bedroom with the positive test, I was crying in shock and tossed the test onto his lap. He was pretty shocked too but gave me a hug and said he couldn’t wait to be a daddy.
The way he told his mum was pretty fun though. She is disabled and lives with him, they had been discussing what to do with the spare bedroom before we had found out I was expecting. So he just blurts out “what do you think about turning the small room into a nursery?”
I told quite a few people very early on, my view is if you don’t mind sharing the bad news (if it happens) then you should share the good!

Reiza says:

Mine is long, so forgive me. I’ll try to keep this brief.

My husband was military. He told some of his friends we were going to TTC when we were in the same state again. Once we were, they joked with him about it and he replied, “The troops have been deployed.” I was SO embarrassed, but I used it to my advantage later.

When I finally got a positive blood test, I bought a pack of plastic Army men and put them in a box with a letter written in stuffy formal military style. The note mentioned how the troops had been successful in their mission. I left the box for him at work.

The return address listed the initials we planned to use for a boy and a girl. I wrote, “and/or” between them. We wound up having twins. 🙂

Second pregnancy, we tried for a while. When I got the positive test, I grabbed those old Army men and had each of the twins take them to dh at the office. They handed them to him and said, “Good job, Daddy.” It took him a second, but he was thrilled. 🙂

Last time, I took the test at the store and it was negative. I started to drive home and when I looked at it again, noticed it was actually a faint positive. I rushed to dh at work and showed him. Nothing too creative that time because I was in shock. I was sure it had been negative.

OMG Pregnant says:

Well, ours was a total surprise as you’ve read on our blog, and I made my man swear to secrecy until I was used to it myself … but then I got taken ill and we decided we would have to tell our parents in case something happened when he was at sea (he’s in the royal navy). We skyped his mum and dad – and just blurted it out, and after deciding we’d phrase it a bit better to my parents, failed miserably and just blurted it out … again!

I love your idea of calling them Grandma on the phone. Very cute!

The first time we were pregnant, I left the stick in the bathroom on the counter. I then asked my husband to go in and get my brush so he’d find it.

We told our family after the 10-week ultrasound. We made copies of the print-out and put them in picture frames. Then we gave them to our parents in gift bags, and told them we’d had some pictures taken recently. When they saw the picture, they were all SOO surprised and excited!!

The second time around was much less dramatic for my husband and I, since we’d experienced two miscarriages and were TTC. He was heavily involved in the “getting pregnant” process, so there were no chances of surprising him.

We WERE able to surprise our parents, though. We’d recorded the 20-week ultrasound (deciding to wait longer after other disappointments), then took the DVD to their house, telling them we had been making plans for taking a cruise and wanted to show them the information. We are SUCH good LIARS!!

Amy says:

Ugh I just left a comment and the internet went out when I hit post! So as I was saying, WE usually wait to tell everyone until 3 months just in case. I do tell my parents and my best friends rather soon. However I realized something with my last pregnancy we waited and then lost the baby @ 18wks and I realized that it really doesn’t matter b/c it was nice to have some support. A nurse who attended me said that she had 3 miscarriages and the hardest ones were the ones that no one knew about b/c they hadn’t announced the pregnancy. Although the loss was hard it was comforting to know that people cared and they were sensitive to my feelings.

As for the announcing to the hubs: a friend did the fortune cookie thing and it was so cute.

Anyhow thanks for stopping by and leaving us a comment. Hope you have a great week. I am off to explore your blog a bit.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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