I have yet to go out of the country but I have had “a taste of Brazil” if you know what I mean (wink wink nudge nudge). First off, let’s star with saying if you are ulrta-conservative, a member of my family or get bashful when you hear the words “Brazilian Wax” let’s save both of us the embarrassment, reading this post probably isn’t for you. Obviously, I’m not a very private person. And I figured I’d give some words of wisdom for my lady friends who may be curious about the same thing.
We’ll start with the problem: Hair. Sometimes ya just don’t wait it in certain areas…
I’ve tried many different tactics to rid myself of the blasted stuff. Remember my birth control post? Well this is going to be a similar but a little less elaborate, oh and maybe more graphic.
I started to consider lazier hair removal but once I heard it was painful and that it’s harder on people with dark skin, I put that idea on hold. Here are my other attempts.
… The label says something like 3 minutes. To make sure it worked REALLY well I decided to add another 5–First bad idea.
…The label says to avoid certain sensitive areas and I tried but I just wanted it ALL gone so I gave into my internal temptations and just put it all over–Second bad idea.
…I waited another couple of minuets before really trying to take it all off (tripling the directed time), then got the water really hot– Third and Fourth bad idea.
…I closed my legs–The WORST idea.
I knew something was wrong when I felt the burning. ‘Jump in the tub’ was my first though but the water was so hot I didn’t know which was burning me more.
Let’s just say the next 5-10 minuets of trying to get the stuff off was some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Every swipe felt like I was peeling my skin off with an acidic rake.
/5 stars /5 stars for the workout you get while trying.
In preparation I did a lot of research. I came across a story about one woman taking a bite stick in with her. I wanted to do that–Anything that would help. I heard of No Scream Cream but not until after the fact. So I drugged up on ibuprofen and hoped for the best.
Having a friend with me gave me motivation to try not to scream… Or at least not first.
I had never had anything besides my eyebrows waxed before so I had no idea the surprise I was in for. Everyone I’d asked about it said it hurt a lot but said it was worth it. All I kept thinking was ‘it had better be!’
torturer esthetician was nice. She tried to make good conversation but really, all I wanted to do was focus on not screaming.
“Does anyone ever cry?” I asked her.
“Oh no, if you cried I’d feel really bad.”
“Well, I’ve never had anything waxed before. Nothing besides my eyebrows,” I told her, hoping to get some sympathy-Permission to cry if need be.
I told her I almost brought a bite stick and she offered me a towel. Great! I’ll take it. I shoved the towel in my mouth and braced myself for the unimaginable pain I knew would soon be bestowed upon me.
Now, I’m not sure why they do this but the scenario would go something like this:
“So what are you studying?” She’d ask me, probably trying to lighten the mood, although I was in no mood for talking. Besides, I had the towel in my mouth, remember?
I’d take the towel out, and begin to answer…
“Broadcast….. JOOOOOOOOUUUUURNALISM!!!!” Right as the first, and worst strip of hair was ripped away. Why did she do that? Couldn’t she have at least waited for me to put the towel back in my mouth?
I could feel the tears start to form. I felt betrayed.
“Oh yea?” She’d say, and she’s ask a series of follow up questions I’d try to answer as quickly as possible as not to be fooled again.
The whole process took about an hour… Yea, an hour of: Question, Ans-RIIIIP!!! wer!!!
I wasn’t alone though, my friend said it wasn’t easy for her either. After it all I felt accomplished, brave, and like I had achieved a new level of womanhood. I told them all it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but really… It was.
The good news: A month later it’s still nice and silky smooth. I looked like a plucked chicken the first couple of days but after the tenderness went away I was LOVIN it! I felt lighter, nicer, cleaner and just better!
I recently went for a second round but nearly a year later (I tested out those other products in between) and decided/learned it’s best to NOT shave between those. Good news though–It only took 15 minutes the last time! I went to a much better salon known for their 15-minute Brazilians.
In the end I recommend finding a GOOD salon for those. Do your research and don’t pick some place just cause it’s cheap. Take a bite stick or ask for a towel to keep from screaming and prepared to be tricked into answering questions right as they pull the trigger.