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The Strange Request

I worry a lot, sometimes excessively. I also have a very bad case of “The what-if syndrome.” Meaning I start with “what if…” then add an extreme example of a minute possibility, but still feel a definite need to think of how to solve the problem, or answer the question.

One of the questions I have is “What if my husband dies?” While I don’t dwell on all of the details of that question the main, immediate problem I see is not about money, or even my sure-to-be life changing rage of depression… No, the thought that crosses my mind is having his babies… Still.

Some of you are probably wondering how that’s possible. Others, like me, may be picking up what I’m putting down… And maybe a few of you are several steps ahead of me and already have a freezer full of your man’s swimmers.

You read right. I’m talking about saving the goods for later. Storing a little bit of him in case he dies before we have kids. Extreme? Yes. But I think I have good intentions. I really would like to see what OUR kids would look like, and I want to have HIS kids!

I haven’t asked him yet, but I’m pretty sure if I do he’ll just look at me strange and assume I’m joking. Plus how do I bring something like that up? “Hey baby, here’s a cup, do you mind…?”

I think this gives a whole new meaning to family planning.


Angela says:

Wow, you really do go extreme with your thoughts don’t you??? Wait until you do have your first child. The what if’s never stop then.

Shauna says:

I am new here! What a great blog 🙂

Hey Jennifer!! I’m so happy to find you!! It is so funny to read your blog because I have a lot of the same feelings. I want a baby so bad but I know that right now is not the best time for my husband and I to have one. I too have thought about this situation and, although I am pretty sure my husband would think I am CRAZY for even thinking about it, I would rather have that than to never be able to have his child!

Sarah says:

The funny thing is I have thought about the exact same thing! With my hubby being in the military I have thought about it. I think if I asked him he would look at me funny and he wouldn’t even want me to consider the idea of him dying. I have heard somewhere in the news of a woman who collected the swimmers from her hubby shortly after he was killed overseas. http://militarytimes.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1563709
It is an interesting topic.

Cascia says:

Of course we hope that will never happen, but I see your point. Why not? You’ll never know what he thinks about that if you don’t ask.

LL&L says:

I am in my 30s and we are not ready for kids yet. The problem is that having a family is the only thing that I’ve wanted consistently since I was little, but my husband did not consider it until we started dating. Not just that but I have fertility challenges and it is hard to hold on to will power without a little assurance.

I say ask away and let him have a good laugh. Maybe you should laugh too, but when your through let him know that you’re serious. If he does not want to participate now, maybe he will be open to it later(no worries). Whatever will be will be.

calmcoach says:

Hi Jennifer, Love your blog and thanks for making me smile about family planning.:)

Jessica says:

Too funny. Yes, I have thought the same thing. I saw a TV show once where the husband died and in the hospital the wife asked if they could extract his boys for this reason.

Tarzan says:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Mommy Bee says:

Hmm, wow, I have never ever had that thought…maybe partly because we already have a child together (and another that’s his biologically)…?
If he died, I’d probably remarry someone else at some point, and have HIS kids. I wouldn’t want to have kids by myself, so I wouldn’t want saved up swimmers b/c I wouldn’t consider getting pg again until I was married…

TheGleeds says:

Great post jen 🙂

Oh Jen, I have thought about this a million times too! And I seriously mention it to Bryce about once a week. He just laughs. But I’m not kidding. Not at all 🙂

tara @ kidz says:

I long ago had to learn to let go of “what if” and “if only.” The song ‘Be Still My Soul’ comes to mind. It helped me get over my worrying, regretful self, and just let life be what it was meant to be. Great post.

Mallory says:

hehe! I think you just need to have a kid already! 😀

oh p.s. i just read this article today on foxnews. We aren’t crazy… It REALLY happens 🙂
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,495406,00.html

I’m with Mallory, you need to have kids already! 🙂

I know a few people who have had that happen to them and the thing I hear the most is they wish that they had, had kids with their husbands. I understand what you are thinking. If that did happen at least you would have the ability, but it does not always take, and even if it did I think while you would take comfort in having the children you would then think I wish I had done this when he was still here so he could be apart of it, even if just for awhile.

*Alice Anne* says:

Your fascination with “planning ahead”…and past posts about picking the gender of your baby and such…made me think you’d like this article about “Designer Babies” (not at all implying that you would want to do this!):

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29478274/?GT1=43001

*Alice Anne*

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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