When I heard about the show topic being on motherhood I got all excited. I know it was suppose to talk about “the bad” and “the ugly”, but I assumed “the good” would be somewhere in there too. Mentally going back to my college days, I brought my laptop over to the TV, to take notes… (Oh yes I did)… During the show.
Parts of the show were really funny and interesting to me, I was able to add to the list of “the things they don’t tell you,” (I’ll post about that later–they had a whole block dedicated to that question), but overall I was kind of left with a depressing feeling about motherhood… No joke…
The only positive experience I got out of the whole thing was from women communicating with me though Twitter. Some moms on the “happy” end of the spectrum gave me their opinions. Cristina aka Native Mamma told me “if motherhood wasn’t worth the hassle NOBODY would have more then 1,” that seemed so true to me! Why didn’t they talk about that on Oprah?
Another mom on Twitter, Monique said “Don’t let them get you down. I have 4 and they’re worth every single gray hair and nervous breakdown. =)” I sure hope so!
What scared me was that the women on the show weren’t saying it was worth it! One or two woman went as fas as saying “What did I get myself into?” and some even said sometimes they’ve felt like they’ve made a mistake becoming a mom! It reminded me of a study I saw reported about on Momlogic, that implied “kids [could]= unhappiness.”
See.. That’s the scary regret I’m talking about. I’ve never felt that way about anything so important to me in my life… And to think that that’s “NORMAL” for some… or a lot of women terrifies me! No… I’ve never honestly thought my marriage was a mistake, how could these women say that about their children?
It seems to me the root of the problem (which they addressed at the very end) is the fact that TV shows make motherhood look easy… And happy-looking-neighbors, make motherhood/parenting look easy. And women who compare themselves to what they see on the outside think their feelings of overwhelmingness is something only they experience, and they feel bad for feeling that way.
I think the show was meant to show women who have those feelings that they’re not alone. I get it, but I think it also scared the $#%* out of some women who were maybe thinking they might like to possibly become one someday, perhaps.
I’m not trying to make women who feel that way feel bad, I mean, my heart goes out to women who feel way, but it makes me wonder if motherhood is for everyone–If it’s for me.
I was still pretty ticked about it this morning and wrote a blog post on Momlogic… A letter to Oprah. It’s not quite as nice and open as this one, nonetheless it’s how I’m feeling right now. Oh and here’s one more depressing yet “honest” article that CNN even featured on the topic.
Oprah, I love you but you pissed me off
It’s not you, it’s the women you had on your show. What was that meant to do? Scare the living bejeezes out of future moms like myself who are contemplating motherhood? Maybe that wasn’t the point. I guess the point was to uplift moms.. More specifically stay at home moms right? The ones who get all down because they compare themselves to other women who they think are all happy and perfect. When are they going to wake up?… Or don’t they, until they are driven to the thoughts of “What did I get myself into?” and “I think I made a mistake.”
Oprah, you’re not a mom, and I’m not a mom but I think we both know it’s hard. We have moms don’t we? And if that’s not testament enough I think we get the point after reading the bizzilionth blog post about how being a SAHM is SOOOOO hard. If it sucks so bad why have more than one?
I’m not trying to down play it at all ok? I don’t think you are either, and that’s why you invited these women on your show. But what do you think it says to women who want children but can’t have any? Women who are so excited to have a child and are always running into women who are griping about being moms. Or women like me who are kind of on the fence about the whole topic?… Did one person on that show even say it was worth it?