You know that commercial that goes: “When you’re ready to have a baby, nine months is long enough to wait?” Well, they fail to mention 1. That is actually more like 10 months and 2. All the waiting beforehand!
There are a few technicalities I’m trying to work out during the next few months, before turning the Baby Makin’ Machine “on” and into full-gear–But in the mean time, I’m planning my strategy–Sketching my blueprints–Setting the table–for when it’s All Systems Go.
…You think I’m kidding? I’m planning a little
D B Day of my own over here and there’s going to be no excuses for not following my rules.
If he only knew what I have in store, he’d sleep with one eye open. I’ve already got plans for a few pair of underwear that just aint gonna make the cut. That’s right– Any undies that are the slightest bit tight… Gotta go! Can have any tighty-whities hurting the team.
Speaking of the team–Forget saving electricity. It’s hot in Texas, and desperate times call for desperate measures… We’re not sacrificing the swimmers for a cheaper electric bill.–And you’d better believe I’ll turn the hot water off if I have to. Hunni likes to take a hot bath every now and then but that little habit has gotta go too.
Peas? “NO you can’t eat that, what are you THINKING?!” …We hardly eat them, but you’d better believe they’re out of our diet for the next–Until I’m pregnant. Take the vitamin hun… I’m already taking one everyday, ’bout time he starts too.
Now’s the time I also thank the Lord my hunni’s not a biker… Cause I’d hate to make him quit a hobby.
And when my temperature shoots up and it’s time to rock and roll…The dog is going to his own room and the house WILL be on lock-down. And I may just have to bust out those newlywed handcuffs again.
It’s sad. Because I know if pregnancy just happened… I’d live with it. But knowing that I’m actually going to have to WORK for this makes me nervous. What if I fail? If it takes awhile? I know they say it does for most people but that’s just not fair. People who want to, have to wait. And people who don’t want to, get it anyway?
What if my Baby Makin’ Machine is broken–And this whole time, all these years I just had no idea? Not. Fair. Every single month of failure will be TORTUROUS!
…I know stress can make things harder too… Perhaps that’s a good excuse to get a spa massage daily during this process. And should I get one of these?
I promise I will NOT take fertility for granted. I’ve met my fair share of women struggling and who have struggled and my heart aches for them just reading and hearing about their stories. If I’m faced with the same challenge I worry I won’t be as strong.
Having a baby isn’t something I’ve wanted or admitted until very recently. Now it’s practically all I can think about. Yea, I go back and forth a little still, but deep down I know there’s a looming “yes” underneath all of my doubts.
I’m already tracking and researching… My sweet husband, when it’s time to turn the Baby Makin’ Machine “ON”… Poor guy’s not going to know what hit him.