As I inch closer and closer day by day towards the goal of switching the baby-makin machine “ON”, I find myself asking few questions over and over:
“For real?”: Am I really going to take the leap to try to change my life FOREVER? To jump off the realms of just regular womanhood into the depths of motherhood?
“Am I ready?”: Ok, maybe I’m more “ready” than a lot of people… especially those who have the “oops” cases, oh, and those girls on 16 and Pregnant. But really… Am I ready to be a mom? Mom–I can’t imagine being called that! WEIRD!
“What’s the rush?”: I don’t know the answer to this one. I just know I want to be a mom, and I think I’d be a good mom, and that I love my husband and we’d make a good team. Why do all of this now?–I don’t know. I know my biological clock isn’t exactly ticking. Maybe it’s just nature telling me it’s time? Of course my pregnant friends don’t help any, but hey… I wanted it first!
I’m not sure why I don’t want to wait another year or two…Why I feel like I can’t. Why is that?! I’m sure once I have a baby I’ll look back wondering why I was in such a hurry… Or perhaps I’ll wonder why I waited so long. I hope the latter is the case.
And then every once in awhile this question pops into my mind…
“What am I THINKING?!”: I don’t know. I see the things my friends with new babies are going through. The sleepless nights. The crankiness, the loss of sexual appetite, the loss of romance. And I STILL want to do this?! I hope the occasional fear that crosses into my mind, and sometimes out my mouth diminishes… And that I’m not getting cold feet.
Is this normal?