The Questions I’m Asking Myself
As I inch closer and closer day by day towards the goal of switching the baby-makin machine “ON”, I find myself asking few questions over and over:
“For real?”: Am I really going to take the leap to try to change my life FOREVER? To jump off the realms of just regular womanhood into the depths of motherhood?
“Am I ready?”: Ok, maybe I’m more “ready” than a lot of people… especially those who have the “oops” cases, oh, and those girls on 16 and Pregnant. But really… Am I ready to be a mom? Mom–I can’t imagine being called that! WEIRD!
“What’s the rush?”: I don’t know the answer to this one. I just know I want to be a mom, and I think I’d be a good mom, and that I love my husband and we’d make a good team. Why do all of this now?–I don’t know. I know my biological clock isn’t exactly ticking. Maybe it’s just nature telling me it’s time? Of course my pregnant friends don’t help any, but hey… I wanted it first!
I’m not sure why I don’t want to wait another year or two…Why I feel like I can’t. Why is that?! I’m sure once I have a baby I’ll look back wondering why I was in such a hurry… Or perhaps I’ll wonder why I waited so long. I hope the latter is the case.
And then every once in awhile this question pops into my mind…
“What am I THINKING?!”: I don’t know. I see the things my friends with new babies are going through. The sleepless nights. The crankiness, the loss of sexual appetite, the loss of romance. And I STILL want to do this?! I hope the occasional fear that crosses into my mind, and sometimes out my mouth diminishes… And that I’m not getting cold feet.
Is this normal?
I think all of your questions are completely normal. I have learned if you think too hard about getting pregnant it usually doesn’t happen. When you let go and just let nature take its course you may get a pleasant surprise.
We “planners” all go through this part of motherhood. 😀 For me, I was glad I had a little pre-kid fun in my 20’s and when I had my first baby at 31, it was a good time in my life. I didn’t really ask myself why I waited so long or why I didn’t wait more. It was just a really good time, I guess. There is not a “right” age, but I was glad I got some “stuff” out of my system. We were only married less than a year, but knew each other for several, so that was good. We were a good team before kids and a great team after, which is really nice when I see the guys that don’t do too much. I can’t imagine because there is W-O-R-K involved! I *love* being a mom and always knew it’s what I wanted, so that part has been “easy” for me. Good luck with your decision! Sometimes you just have to rip the band aid off.
Yup..all normal questions!
I almost think that if you did not have those questions or any at all then you might be considered abnormal! 🙂 I think it’s normal to second guess yourself, rethink things and just stress out……
In the end, know that whatever decision you come up with is the RIGHT one!!
Yep, totally normal!! 🙂 I also thought about all those questions! But TRUST ME once you have your precious boy or girl it will ALL BE WORTH IT! 🙂
It’s totally normal! I’m pregnant with my second and ask myself these same questions. However, I just know the timing is right and I have 9 months to adjust myself to having another baby. In all honesty, when that little bundle comes into your life, you cannot imagine your life without him or her. Life completely changes, and you completely change, but I think it is all for the better. Being a mother is the most incredible feeling in the world.
Well, you know way more than most people. I think you need to trust your instinct. Remember, they take 40 weeks to cook. Think of yourself like a crock pot – mix baby with velveeta. Enjoy!
Yes I had all these thoughts too, actually I had them with each and every pregnancy! Including this one. Its normal, your making a huge change in your life, and honestly, you haven’t a clue what its going to be like 100% until you take the plunge. So just go with it and enjoy the ride!
I sooo can’t help in any way. I’m not pregnant, never have been, don’t really think about it. I’m not married either, never been, but would like to be. This comment if nothing else was to share that. Sorry BMM. Sorry…
The only difference between you and I is I didn’t plan mine. I just got married and said whatever happens happens and 2 months later…BAM!! Those other questions came into play once I gound out I was pregnant. Either way here I am 15 years later and 3 beauties to show for it and I wouldn’t change a thing. So if you are ready, then let nature take it’s course and enjoy the 9 months of pregnancy. It’s a wonderful gift.
Yep, normal with the first… normal with the second.. and even more normal with the third. Do we really want to be out numbered??
normal. Good luck!
It’s normal to ask yourself those questions, we all do all the time!
Starting a family is SCARY but if you feel that you’re ready then I say go for it! You will never be 100% ready so if you’re like, 80% ready then do it. You know you wanna! Make that milk chocolate baby already!
I am constantly amazed/amused by your consternation (geesh). Even if everything is perfect, and the stars are aligned, you only have 20 – 25% of getting pregnant each month.
So even if you decided that TODAY is the DAY, you could still be asking yourself these same questions (as well as “Why is it taking so long?”) for a little while. Relax, already! Everyone who came into this world got here by someone being pregnant (except test tube babies)…and no matter how much you prepare, absolutely NOTHING prepares you for motherhood – the joys are greater, the hard parts are harder.
You are too funny!
Honestly, I can’t IMAGINE planning everything out as much as you are…or even THINKING about it as much as you have been/are. Everytime I read your blog, I go…huh, that’s an interesting question 🙂
I was READY to have a baby when my husband and I just started going with the flow 😉 I couldn’t think about anything else other than becoming a mother. Looking back, I really think that’s how I’ll decide when to have the next one…whenever it’s a consuming thought because, that’s when I feel a person is really ready.
Also, those sleepless nights can DEFINITELY be avoided by co-sleeping! (just my two cents worth!) I don’t think I ever lost sleep with Kaius, and I’ve heard the same thing from other moms who cosleep. Once you get the side-lying nursing down, then you don’t even wake up when babe wants a snack 🙂
I can’t wait to hear about a big fat positive!!
I’m rounding on 7 months and have had or am still having some of these questions. So, I guess it’s normal. Take it from someone who was very un-baby hungry for a very long time: there is no other explanation for why you feel it’s the right time despite the seeming insanity of it all other than it’s a God-given desire and we’ll each know when it’s right for us. . . That’s what makes us mothers before we even have children – the audacity to hope and wish them into existence. Otherwise, I fear that no one would do it.
The best advice anyone ever gave me was if you wait until you’re totally ready to have children then you will never have them. Sometimes you have to stop sticking your toe in the water and just jump in. Sure it’s a little shocking at first, but you learn to go with the flow! :o)
Definitely normal. And I don’t think you can ever actually be “ready.” As much planning, reading, shopping, preparing you do…once the baby comes home, all bets are off. It’s the most amazing, incredible, difficult journey you’ll ever face. But worth it? Absolutely.
I have the same questions all the time. But I think that if I’m wanting this as bad as I do, it has to be for some reason. And as long as I push those questions out of my head, I’m okay, I’m not freaking out or anything. If I think too hard about it, then I’ll be put in the loony-bin!
Judging from what I’ve heard from friends with kids? Totally normal. We’re in the “prep” stage ourselves at the moment, and I know I’ve gone through all of the above… some points more than once. lol
AHhh.. I think about this all the time. I don’t think kids are in our immediate future, but I always wonder if I’m ready in case a “surprise” should happen.
Can you ever really be “ready” for that type of life-changing event? I don’t know. I think all you can do is prepare as best you can and hope for the best. 🙂
Definitely typical. You’ll probably still ask yourself those questions down to the last week of pregnancy. Questioning is good… by the time you’re done answering all of your own questions at least you’re firmly grounded in what you know you want!
This post makes me laugh so hard. I remember a couple of months before we started trying, we just decided that we were going to just forget it and go for it right then. Right as we are about to get things going, I almost hyperventilate and make a mad dash to the medicine cabinet for for birth control!
But, now that my little guy is here, I don’t find myself thinking why did I rush things or why did I wait so long. (I’m 30.) I find that since it was God’s time for us, I feel really good about when it happened. I do know that if I had had him even one year sooner, I would not have been ready. You’ll know:-)
Since boogie was a surprise, we didn’t do any planning of course. We did want a baby BADLY, so bad that we treated our old Yorkie/Shih Tzu just like a child. I think it’s nature or maybe the baby rabies. Many of my peers were knocked up years before me, daddies nowhere to be found. It made me so bitter. When we found out that we were pregnant, we were oh so happy. Being “too young” didn’t cross our minds, because like you and hubby, we’re the perfect team. I can’t wait to “plan” boogie #2, lol.
P.S. Don’t let anyone tell you any labor horror stories – it ain’t all that bad!
I ask these questions myself all the time. I haven’t taken the plunge yet but am slowly getting myself ready.
Visiting from SITS and wanted to let you know I love your blog!
YOU ARE NORMAL! thats the good news. The even better news is that their experiences may not your experience. Granted there are things that no matter what WILL HAPPEN. you will get peed on, you will be thrown up on, you will cry with frustration and with joy (at some point) but all the other stuff is a gamble. Since each relationship and child you just never know until you actually walking in it.
I was so fearful of being a mom but wanted to so bad at the same time. I was afraid that my child was just going to this horrible crying machine and guess what? He is just as chill as can be. You will never stop having some fears, for example my son is now 10 months old (on the 17th) and last month we took our first flight. I was so afraid that he was going to be “that baby on the plane” and he was once again, his chill normal self. I was so proud and THANKFUL. You just never know until you are there.
You are going to be a great mom!
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