The Plague

Well that’s what you’d think he has when he’s sick!

When I have a headache, I’m down in the dumps, feeling sick to my stomach, overly tired, I usually keep it to myself. That’s not exactly the case with my dear hubby. See… I’ve never really been a nurturer at heart. Growing up, I wasn’t really babied when I was sick. I’ve only been sick from work once or twice in my entire life. I may think I have deadly diseases but when it comes to showing it I suck it up.

I guess when it comes to being sick we all have our preferences for how we’d like to be treated. I like my space. I’ll take a nap and try to sleep it off. My better half… A headache will out him out for the rest of the day and he’ll be whining through the entire process.

If his stomach hurts he’ll insist he’s about to throw up… Go spit in the toilet and say he did. It’s actually quite humorous.

It took me a few years to realize it was love and affection he needs during his “sick” moments. Where I would rather pop an aspirin and be done with it, he’s rather a more “natural nurturing” approach. I didn’t get it at first, in fact I’d get pretty angry. But over time I learned to endure and suffer quietly. I’ve found I’ve actually adapted, and I don’t really mind babying him and nurturing him back to headache-free health. It’s nice because it makes him feel better, he appreciates me more, and I feel better about making him feel better. Funny how that works.

Anyway, I’m glad WE got that problem worked out but I still wonder about my kids. Will my self-diagnosis of disease and his consistent feeling of sickness wear off on our kids? Maybe we should make a deal that we won’t talk about being sick or dying around our kids… That way they won’t go to class telling their teacher their mom has cancer and their dad has lammonia (ok I totally made up that disease) or brain damage (ok maybe he has a little of that) or whatever!

Are you afraid of random character traits carrying on to your children?

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  1. That’s always a concern where children are learning how to be big kids. I myself have a habit of being rather “touchy feely” Like I kinda spook when someone touches me. I’ve had to control this all my life because it’s rather off putting to loved ones, even my husband, when they go to hug or kiss me and I dodge them. I just have to swallow it and try not to react. Why do I have this trait? My dad was the same way. Is it rubbing off on my daughter already? Maybe. I know I haven’t really shown her much in that crazy department. She gets plenty of kisses and hugs from me but she seems to be the same as her momma. I go to kiss her and she tends to whip her face away. Maybe this is normal or maybe its genetic? But this is a trait that can be controlled and dealt with and it really isn’t very life altering.

    On the other hand my husband has an issue that a lot of other people have that drives me absolutely batty. He’s awful at saying he’s sorry and meaning it. He was never taught the value of a sincere apology. And it’s hard for him to understand that simply throwing the words out there doesn’t really do the job. Especially if it’s a “I’m sorry…but” UGG! No, I’m not arguing with him right now, that’s not why I’m venting this, and I’ve learned how to cope with this and how to talk to him to help him understand that a true apology is necessary at times. But this trait I will fight with all my mommy power to see doesn’t land in my daughter.

    Great topic by the way!!!!

  2. It’s goes a little further for me because I’m bipolar and I am constantly on the lookout for signs in my children. Mine didn’t manifest until high school but you bet I’m vigilantly watching my three young sons.
    As far as character traits being passed on, it’s inevitable. Even if you guard them from it they’ll pick it up. They’re little sponges and they know everything about you even what you’re hiding. Hope that doesn’t sound too scary.

  3. Kids are bound to do what their parents do, whether you meant to teach it to them or not. We figure if our kids have no chance of being ‘normal’ and hey, that’s ok. 😉
    I can see being concerned about medical/chemical issues, and yeah, some of those may manifest and the best thing I can say is keep your eyes open and if you see any signs try to be proactive and teach them healthy behaviors early on (helpful nutrition, sleep habits, anger management, etc) so that hopefully the problem will never get out of control.

    I’m also a “suffer-in-silence” type when i’m sick–I hate for Hubby to even know if I threw up or something for example. He likes to disappear into the bed for a couple of days, but he also wanders around the house in his fleece sweatpants and slurps broth and while he doesn’t whine, he does make it clear that he doesn’t feel up to anything.
    Wolf is the biggest drama queen EVER. He will whine, and moan, and tell me how he’s never felt this terrible in his life, and he’s sure he’s going to barf at any moment (even if it’s a cold rather than a stomach bug)…on the other hand he won’t take a nap or eat gentle foods–he still wants to run around and play and eat whatever. I have been known to bribe him to get him to just lay down for an hour. I HATE it when he’s sick, but he clearly didn’t get his behaviors from either of us.

  4. My little one copies everything. So I really have to be nice around her LOL or else she’ll show me how that looks when I’m not and when I’m annoying LOL

    As for being sick, the only person here being babied while sick it’s our daughter, and I’m not sure who she gets it from (I don’t see that in Hubby or me) but it sure is a sign of a little Princess!

  5. WE have totally married into the same family….. I too have learned to be nicer to my better half when he is sick, but I still struggle with it! all I can think is at least it is me, the tougher, suck-it-up one, who gets pregnant!!!! I couldn’t imagine Matt through 9 months of feeling yucky!!!! I wouldn’t make it through!

  6. I am so afraid of random character traits passing on to my children. Whenever I am around his family I will notice things that his father does are things that my hubby also does. Some of which drive me up the wall and now I know who to blame! I just wish my husband hadn’t picked up on some of the annoying habits. For example they always have to be right. It’s not really a matter of being right it’s just to them they are right because they are smart and they can argue with you until you are blue in the face but in the end their way is the right way. Ya hopefully our kids won’t pick up on that one.

  7. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Nice to meet you. Happy UBP 2009. Well too late for me for wondering my children are grown adults 25, 24 and 21. They grew up great and yes have some of our traits most of them the good ones. Don’t worry so much. Good luck on the babies some day and yes I can help you anytime with designs.

  8. What a bum! SUCK IT UP! I only complain when I’m feeling REALLY bad. Most of the time I’ll self medicate using nyquil, ALIEVE, or an herbal tea. He was probably pampered by his Mom, where as my Mom would just get me whatever I needed and told to lay down or walk it off.

  9. This is my first visit to your sassy blog and I am so loving it! You seriously crack me up! Thanks for the laughs. And what is it about men & being sick? Are they ALL that whiny and dramatic or is it just my husband? LOL

  10. My husband and I are the EXACT opposite! I like to be pitied while he very rarely lets me know when he doesn’t feel good. I used to whine and let everyone know that I am on my deathbed when I had a stomach ache. But since having a baby, I have learned to suck it up. I still like my hubby to pitty me and wait on me hand and foot (which he does). I am needy and he loves being needed. So it works out. LOL

    While I would love it if he would take after his father in this situation, I am afraid my son has already inherited my drama. *sigh* oh well. Cant win them all! 🙂

  11. Oh course reading your post is quit humbling. I am still trying to find the right balance between overly pampered and coldly neglected.

    I use to be afraid of passing down my traits but I love hubby and myself unconditionally. If the kids get some of our messed up traits at least we will be able to help them through it. Besides kids come into the world with their own unique spirit, they will have some traits all their own.

  12. Haha! You just described Mister Valentine to a tee! He TOTALLY gets like that when he’s sick. Yet, somehow I find I still have to care for the kids, myself and him when I’m sick…..odd how it works like that!

  13. Boys are babies! But isn’t it kinda cute how they love to be taken care of? I can already see our character traits coming out in our little girl. So far they are the good ones, but I hope she doesn’t get the bad ones too!! 🙂

  14. Oh, this is too funny. My hubby is the same way…and I kinda despise nurturing him when he is all sick and mopey! (that’s probably not a good thing for a future mom!) Oh well. Maybe it will be different with kids. haha–love your perspective! Thanks for stopping my blog, I hope you find the ideas to be useful for you and hubby!

  15. I think it is men-in-general that need to be nurtured when sick. I want to be left alone, but with 2 kids that is impossible, lol. I do usually “suffer in silence” because if I am openly ill, no matter what it is, Hubster will have it the next day.

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