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The Oldest

I always thought I wanted a girl first, because… Well, because they’re cute and I really just want to get the girl out of the way! Plus, I’ve really got a system down with these cute baby hairbows I make and as one of hubby’s aunt’s says “Now you’re gotta make a baby to put in them!” SO TRUE!… But it would have to be a girl, or else that would just be weird.

So I have it all planned out to have a girl right? You probably saw my rituals post about things I’m going to do to have a girl. Well, I may be changing my mind. See…Boyz II Men came to town and were playing all of their old school love songs. I missed the concert but my news station covered it. It got us all pulling up the songs on Youtube and singing along… Well when we got to this one song called “A Song for Mama” I got all teary eyed and decided I want a boy (love how I just decide what I’m going to have, like I have a choice in the matter?).

So it got me thinking about the months we’ll have to do it to have a boy and the stuff I’ll have to eat.. positions, etc. Plus, hubby wants a boy (go figures right?) and I wouldn’t mind having a momma’s boy.

So I was all set to have a boy…but then I got to thinking… The oldest child, would I rather it be a boy or girl? Hubby and I are both the oldest and I get a lot with my siblings a lot better than he does… He gets a long with them, it’s just that he doesn’t COMMUNICATE with them at all often. I Tweeted the question “what do you think is better for a first child, boy or girl?” and most peopel said girl… For the same reasons. So now I think I’m back to square one.

Obviously I’ll be happy with either. I’ve come a long way… I’m pretty much torn 55/45 (girl)right now with what I’d like, but when we first got married I was worried I wouldn’t like my son if he came out first… Harsh right? I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ll be happy with a healthy baby but I’m going to “experiment” for a girl… I have a 50% chance (actually I think it’s 49%) naturally, but I’ll see if I can beat the odds.

Sharon asked me if I had a gut feeling what I’d have one way or the other… Here’s what I think (as of now pre-conception) I think it’s going to be a BOY!! Why? Because it would be ironic and my life is ironic. Oh, and because I’ve been having lots of dreams about a baby boy lately… I think he’s ready to come down. I use to dream about a girl all the time… What do you think happneed to her? Hmm… We’ll see!


Mallory says:

I used to want a girl first, because I come from a family of all girls. I didn’t know a single thing about boys! How the heck was I supposed to take care of one, if I have never really been around them!?! Then, I decided I wanted a boy first. I want all my other kids to have a big brother to look up to, and to protect them. I always wished that I had an older brother. Then, by the time I got pregnant, I really didn’t care what I would have. (I still wanted my kids to have an older brother). And I got a boy!

Amy Lynn says:

I have always wanted a boy first. When I was younger I really wanted my son to be able to “look after” his younger sister. BUT I am the oldest in my family of six… and I did just fine. 🙂

To be honest, if we would have had a girl first, I would have stopped having kids. I just dont know if I can take the drama of multiple girls. But luckily we had a boy, and now I am at the point where I would LOVE either next time around.

I will tell you, there is NOTHING like a mamma’s boy. I love it!

Melissa says:

Like Amy, I wanted a boy first to be the “Protector”. Did that happen…NO, I had a girl and loved every minute. I could shop for baby girl stuff all day long. I love doing her hair and putting all the cute bows and flowers in it. Last April I had a little boy. I feel bad saying this but i didnt have an instant bond with him like I did with my daughter. It was wierd bacause I knew he was mine and I loved him but it took me a few days to get that special thing only a mother and child can feel. Now he is one and is a total mama’s Boy. I would not trade him for anything. What an awesome joy it is and a special bond a mother and son can share. So dont worry about the gender because if it is a girl or boy something special will form and you will LOVE being a mother.

Arin says:

Actually I felt alot like you-I knew because I wanted a girl so badly and didn’t have any dreams about a girl-that it would be a boy-Nope was wrong-I got my girl and two more girls after that. NOw I am waiting for the BOy to arrive-whenever that will be.

Heidi says:

Disclaimer: I have no children yet…

I have always wanted a boy first to be the “Protector” but then lately I have been wondering – is it fair to project that kind of pressure onto a son if he is the oldest and the first or do you have to let them want to develop that role and responsibility?

Tracey says:

We wanted a boy first and that is exactly what we got! God Bless.

Josie says:

I wanted a boy first, but I got a girl lol. I am the oldest of 3 girls…. so we need a boy!

heather says:

I totally remember that song! Love Boyz 2 Men!
So I think that boys are great having first. They are like the protector for the rest of the siblings. At least that is how my son is with our daughter. In nursery he makes sure that nobody is mean to her. It is so sweet. I didn’t even tell him to be that way, he just is.
Oh and I think that is pretty cool that you are having dreams about a little boy. I still think you will have a little girl too. Maybe she was in your dreams before so that you wouldn’t forget about having more kids than just the one….who knows?

I think a girl first would be so much fun! It’s your first so you’re over excited about every little thing. I hope I have a girl first for sure. I’m the oldest and I’m a girl- I think it makes for strong women who are naturally driven and natural leaders. But I know I should be happy with either…

Amy says:

I have four boys, and i just gave birth to my little girl 10 weeks ago today! She was worth it and I’m totally glad she is the baby! Lots of protectors! lol

Lolly says:

The entire time I was pregnant (up until the 20 week u/s) I was so certain that I was having a boy. I dreamt about it several times and well, I just KNEW it was going to be a boy. When I had my u/s and found out that we were having a girl I was sorta bummed at first because I was so sure but hey, you can’t predict that sort of thing. No matter what you do you can’t control your baby’s gender. Now that she’s here I can’t imagine having a boy. I would like a boy for our second child but since I know what I want doesn’t matter I’ll be happy either way.

Jen says:

Well..I personally am SO GLAD I had my baby boy first. He’s my sweet sweet love and he protects his sisters like I’ve never witnessed before in a sibling relationship (because I was the oldest in my family).

One more thing..don’t rely too much on the dreams of what you’ll be having. I used to dream my first was going to be a kitten. He wasn’t. 🙂

McFamily says:

We have a baby boy! I was convinced that he was a girl for the first half of my pregnancy,and when we found out other wise,I was shocked to say the least…I just couldn’t wrap my mind around a baby boy,I don’t know anything about boys is what I though! But…..Of course I lOvE him to death,and I leave it at “God knew a boy was best for us,so that is what He gave us.”

As for the boys II men song,I lOvE it! I cry every time I hear it 🙂

Lalapoo says:

I had a girl first.. and a girl second..haha. Girls are great but you are right with the mommas boy girls are just ALL ABOUT DADDY!

Marly says:

I always wanted a boy first. I’m not sure why. I only have brothers and I am not close to my oldest brother, but I know my oldest’s personality is very different from my oldest brother.
Oh and my dreams are always opposite of what I’m having. My first was always a girl, second a girl, third a boy, and fourth has been both. Oh, they’ve also all been twins. I can’t put much stock in my dreams 😉

K Mommy says:

We had a girl first and wouldn’t have it any other way. And in reference to your most recent post…the one with “that question”…all of our relatives ask us when we are going to have another. I tell them I am still recovering from the first (she’s two now..hehe!) and when we find out we are pregnant we will share the news with all of them then and not any sooner. I just love your blog. Keep up the interesing journey to your mommyhood!

Sarah says:

I would love a girl first but not because I want a girl it’s because I want to break the cycle of having so many boys in the family! But I’m pretty sure we will have a boy first since hubby has 1 brother (and an older brother that was still born) and his father was 1 of 5 boys. It is the male that determines the sex of the baby since our eggs have the X chromosome and their sperm have either the X or the Y. So take a look at his family and that might give you an indication of what you might have. I just hope that I get to have at least 1 girl!

Sarah says:

Oh and about dreams…I rarely have dreams about babies but I once had a dream that was so vivid…I was in the hospital sitting there holding my baby, a little boy, and it was our first child. I remember the face and everything.

I know, if I could just have the one girl and “get it out of the way” then I wouldn’t even care if all the rest were boys!

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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