The Mind Games & Thoughts of My First Child
It’s funny how the truth comes out when the tables have turned. After my post from a few days ago I’ve been thinking more and more about why I’m feeling this way and what I’m wanting to accomplish now, and trying to lay everything out on the table.
As I poured bits of my heart into my New Feelings post, I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself/my blog. I told my husband I wanted to wait awhile before we try to have a baby and boy was I surprised at his reaction.
“Why?” he asked confused. And he asked a question I’ve been getting quite a bit this week since I posted the topic: “What about your blog?” I didn’t realize I had so many real-life fans! Especially not my husband. But I told him like I’ve told everyone… This is about my journey; And a journey has a lot of twits and turns right?
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t read my blog… If he does he’s been pretty nice about not yelling at me for some of the things I’ve written. Anyway–I even told him about my drought.. My loss for topics because of the way I’m feeling about our future-first-kid right now and he gave me a couple of ideas. Can you believe it? Now not only is he trying to keep my blog alive he’s giving me topics to write about! Oh, and it doesn’t stop there… Since “the talk” he’s been telling me about his dreams of us walking with a stroller, trips as a family, oh it’s just not stopping. I’m not sure if it’s reverse psychology (that wasn’t my intention), the “cause I say so” mentality, or “now the truth comes out.” Regardless, I’m not falling for it, nor am I amused it at the moment… (ok, maybe it’s a little cute).
But speaking of our first child… A little while ago I wrote a letter to our first baby…I was thinking about him/her and wrote The first letter. And it was published today on My Brown Baby. You can read it here. I’d love to know what you think. I’m also entering this post into the Scribbit Write Away Contest for April. Wish me luck! I’ll consider that my “real post” for today since this is a bunch of random randoms.
PS: Have you entered my newest Giveaway yet?
I have written letters to my babies, though not before they were conceived. 🙂 I like looking back at them though. One thing I did for my last baby (and need to do for this one) was to save a document on my computer and write just a little note each week of the pregnancy. So, for example, some weeks say things like “this week you were conceived, but we were busy with aunt K’s wedding and with moving and we had no idea about you yet” or “this week mommy mostly just felt sick.” Other weeks say things like “this week we heard your heartbeat for the first time!” The week that we found out for sure that he was a boy, I wrote out some information about the name we had chosen for him (we’d had it picked for years). I explained where the names were from and what they meant and why we chose them. I have that info copied into his baby book too, but I hope that someday he might appreciate at least seeing the week by week list from his pregnancy. 🙂
I loved your letter. And when you do become a momma, you will be a natural! I can feel it! For someone who is putting this much love and thought into her decision of when to have a child, well that is so mature and your child will be so blessed to have you as his or her mommy!
I on the other hand, well my first 2 babies were surprises. My 3rd (and last) baby was planned, to an extent. My husband and I wanted to be pregnant by November of ’06. If that didn’t happen, we were going to hold off and try again in the Spring because we didn’t want that baby’s birthday too close to our 2nd child’s. Well. The month that we actually stopped trying, I got pregnant, and my 2nd and 3rd children’s birthday’s are 2 weeks apart! 🙂
No matter how this baby comes into your life, you will be blessed, and you will be ready. Even if you don’t feel like you are, it just happens that way. Following your instincts is the key to surviving motherhood!! 🙂
And motherhood is the most wonderful thing in the world. Even on the days you feel like pulling your hair out! haha!
Great letter…I know it’s hard but it is well worth the wait.
I just stumbled onto your blog, and briefly read a few posts. Have you looked into having a homebirth? (you know, for when you do decide & get pregnant). I fully recommend it to anybody who is healthy. At least doing a little research woudl give you something new to blog about. Good luck with everything. Your blog is a fun idea.
Thanks for visiting my blog!!
Before my hubby and I got married. We were visiting relatives with kids and afterwards he looked at me and sad, I would not mind hearing the sounds of little fett running around. I knew then I was gonna be a momma.
Great letter…I know it’s hard but it is well worth the wait.