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I felt like I needed to spend a little time clearing some things up because my last post stirred up some apparent controversy I didn’t know existed (then again, with mom bloggers I’ve learned almost everything can be controversial) and I had to do something I HATE doing… Delete comments. Yes, and not only that, I also turned OFF anonymous comments. Here’s why…

As you may know, my post yesterday was about a gift I call my hopeful “push present.” I wrote a post before about them (which actually got NO rude anonymous comments) and the tradition behind them in some cultures.

My post yesterday was about finding a gift I’d love for the whole family… Something I’d like to use to document the whole journey with. Something I didn’t think was very selfish as I was actually planning on getting one anyway, why not consolidate the gift as a push/anniversary/Christmas/birthday gift?

Normally I’ll leave comments from people who disagree with me because I welcome a difference in opinion and I like to see all sides in things, but these comments got a little out of hand, and some hurt my feelings so I decided to delete them. Besides… I want to print out my blog one day for my family to see (helpful comments and all) and I’d rather my kids not read from the trolls.

I also generally don’t respond to comments in the comments section because I don’t think people come back to read them… But because I went against my journalistic instinct and deleted the comments I decided to post them here and give a response to each comment (Yes, I know this isn’t necessary but I’m doing this for me). I’m not trying to “feed the beast” or give into them, I’m just trying to explain myself to them and anyone else who maybe was VERY confused by my message. Plus, I don’t like contention and I’m taking this like a “letter to the editor.” So Anonymous #1-6 I hope you come back to read this!

Anonymous comment #1: Why does anyone deserve a “push present?” You want to be pregnant, you want to have a baby, it’s your choice. And what if you never get pregnant? This blog is premature, pun intended.

Future Mama’s response: Why wouldn’t a woman deserve a push present if that’s what she wants? It’s a tradition in many cultures, and who are you to judge those who get them or want them? As far as this blog being premature.. Thanks, sorta. The whole point of this blog was for me to research things about conception, pregnancy and beyond. I think there should be more planned and thought-out pregnancies.

And if I can’t get pregnant… I’ll adopt. But I’d still like that camera.

Anonymous comment #2: You’re not even pregnant and planning your push present? I’ve never heard of anyone so obsessed with being pregnant before. Maybe you should let the big man upstairs take care of it and when it’s time it will happen! How does this not drive your husband insane?

Future Mama’s response: My husband loves me, and he loves my ultra-planning personality. He’s not insane… Yet.

Anonymous comment #3: I know anonymous comments are sort of lame, but I have to agree with anonymous commenter above me. You are planning this a little TOO Much IMO. If you try so hard chances are it isnt going ot happen when you want and then ur going to be disappointed!

Future Mama’s response: “I know anonymous comments are lame but…” – signed Anonymous. Nouf said!

But in response to your comment… I do sometimes over-plan, and I’m working on that. If you’ve read previous posts you’d know I’m starting yoga to help with stress (since stress can lead to having a harder time conceiving). But I don’t think I’ll be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. I’ve waited this long. I’m sure I’d still find more to write about and plan then.

Anonymous comment #4: I also agree! Calm down already!

Future Mama’s response: Got it!
Anonymous comment #5 (in response to a tweet I sent suggesting these are the same person): Def not same person!

Future Mama’s response: Suuuure.

Anonymous comment #6: I think the idea of push present is incredibly selfish. The present should be that precious LIFE that you have just created and brought into this world. The present is seeing those beautiful eyes, the tiny toes, the sweet fingertips, and knowing that this life was created inside of you. Why would you demand a camera, or jewelry? Why put even more financial strain on a family by demanding a push present? You aren’t even trying to conceive yet, give it a rest. There are other women out there who have been trying to conceive children for YEARS who no longer read your blog because you are incredibly selfish and have no idea that amount of emotional energy, patience, and mental health go into trying to conceive.

Future Mama’s response: I’m sorry you think it’s selfish. In my post I talked about how my child will be the greatest gift I could get But I also think every woman… Every mother deserves an additional gift if that’s what she so desires. I know a lot of women who have received a push present for each child, and whether or not you want one is your own personal decision, so don’t judge me!
I’m not sure if you took the time to read the post or if you were coming over and commenting because your friend told you to. I’m not demanding a push present… And who’s to say I’d be putting financial strain on my family? That’s awfully presumptuous of you.

I’m not blogging for you or anyone else, I’m blogging for me. If you choose to be offended by what I’ve said I’m sorry, but the point of my blog is to ask questions, find answers, and find joy in the journey of preparing to be a mother. What’s wrong with spending some time (less than a year) preparing for one of the biggest decisions of my life?

No, I don’t know what it’s like spending years trying to conceive, and I’m not pretending like I do. But I DO know how much emotional energy, patience and mental, physical and spiritual health goes into PREPARING to try to conceive, and waiting for the right time to make that decision. Maybe YOU don’t know how hard that is. Counting the years of marriage wondering when it’ll be my turn to be pregnant. Watching my friends have babies, throwing them showers. Wondering when my spouse and I will BOTH be on the same page and want to have a child… Then one of us loses our job and plans change AGAIN. Waiting for even the simplest things to fall in place, and finding joy in planning the little things. Discovering comfort in researching ways to get my mind, body and spirit ready to conceive while I wait for Him to be ready.–All the while praying I’ll be ABLE to have a baby when it’s time to start trying.

I’m not making light of your situation so don’t make light of mine. And don’t act like you don’t dream of pictures you’d like to take of your new baby too… Even if it’s with a brand spanking new camera!

So from now on… or until I feel like changing the settings, if you have something rude you want to say, you’re going to have to have the balls to put your name with it.
What do you do to trolls? Or am I the only one they pick on?


You know what my mom would say…”their just jealous!” DON’T pay any attention to what they say! No matter what the present is calle you DESERVE it…you are a HARD working woman who just wants to do things your way! And planning it out is perfect! UGGGHGH to some people..ignore it you are a beautiful, intelligent, generous and loving woman! you don’t need those comments I am glad you deleted them and blocked them:)

zealandsmom says:

I love it! Stupid bitches!! Grow balls trolls:)
I say you get 2 cameras….one to keep in your soon to be diaper bag!

haha… love your comment Danielle 🙂

I think some people who have had issues with TTC are just super sensitive, but if I knew I was super sensitive about something I would keep my nasty comments to myself!

I was thinking about if you got a push present for each child, especially if it was something that you could give that child later in life, it would be so special.

Further, you post about EVERYTHING concerning pregnancy. Things you hear about, things you may or may not be interested in personally but want to learn more about. You’re a journalist and it’s your nature to cover the topic completely and make it interesting! I love reading so keep it coming!

My dad writes for a newspaper and he gets tons of hate mail. It’s hard, but at least it makes you A) realize that people are reading and you’re making them think and B) rethink some things and either change your mind or stand stronger in your convictions. Props to you for posting the negative comments and your responses!

I see that you’ve crossed off “getting really good with God” on your bucket list. do tell!

Mama Seoul says:

I agree with you that there should be a lot “more planned and thought out pregnancies”.

There is a lot to plan and think about and while you can’t plan or control or predict everything, educating yourself about the options and choices and possibilities will help you make better decisions in the future. Also, all the resources you are gathering for yourself will help others who are thinking about starting a family.

A digital SLR is a great things to have when you have a baby. So whether you call it a push present for you or you just buy it, you should get one!

Why don’t you just block Anonymous commenter’s all together, obviously they have nothing better to do!

Wow 🙂 I hope you get all the presents you could possibly want : ) and you are so right, the baby is the best present ever. Of course, you will definitely need a cool camera to document all the special moments that are to come : )

Jessica says:

I thought your responses were classy, and just downright perfect. I don’t want to be mean or ugly because you’re right, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but I just don’t get why people have to be anonymous. Like you said, if you have something to say, then say it with who you are, don’t hide your face. It’s OK for people to disagree, but come on people, do it politely.

JosiahsMommy says:

Let them hate. Your blog is wonderful and you’re better off without the trolls. Push presents are always going to be a point of contention but I see no reason why. If you want one, great. I think your choice was awesome. No diamond earrings for you! Lol. I’ve seen many women choose far more selfish things. Cameras are a great thing to have, especially with a new baby. Plan on bloggy sister. It helps you keep your eyes on the prize!

teamwillie says:

Wow, I had no idea that people were so scared to leave a comment without a name. So sad.
But I actually thought your last post was awesome. I love the camera idea and to me it wasn’t even selfish. You are getting a present that you will actually use. Not that diamonds aren’t nice, but a camera is something that will get used more times then what you pay for it.
Oh, and I think you are fine to write about preparing for pregnancy. It’s your blog. If people don’t like it, then don’t read it.
I actually have learned a lot from your posts and next time I get pregnant I will really be more planned on my part. I guess I was one of the lucy ladies who just got pregnant didn’t do the best things to do to keep and stay healthy. I would take my pre-natals but then I would just eat crap and not excercise. So I say THANK YOU for your blog and your posts because you made me realize that you do have to be prepared, planned out, etc.

Lolly says:

Awww I’m sorry you were trolled FM. Some moms are so self righteous and hateful. I think you are overplanning but it’s so cute and fun to read because you write well so I don’t mind 😉 You and your husband are adorable. Don’t change a thing about your writing and planning. It’s YOUR life, not anonymous’. And just in case you’re wondering, I got diamond earrings for my push present 🙂

JJ says:

Good job. Hey, I am a journalist (well a recovering one) and I am an overplanner too! Drive my hubby crazy! Ha! Well good luck to you when you’re ready. I’ll leave some “baby conceiving” dust right here on the side table for ya!

I’m what some of my sensitive friends who’ve had trouble conceiving call a “fertile myrtle”. Yes, in the momsphere, there’s a phrase for everything! LOL!

Kristin Wood says:

I just don’t understand why people feel it is their place to say your blog is silly or premature or “wrong” in some way. I hope you never feel the need to apologize for over-thinking or over-planning! Why do other people care? And why would anyone be so rude as to imply that you drive your husband insane? You are passionate about something, and you write about it. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that. Yes, you are a bit obsessive, but the topic here is CREATING A HUMAN LIFE FROM SCRATCH, which is pretty much one of the most life-changing amazing things we can do! It certainly warrants some passion, planning, and even obsession.

As if anyone even has the right to tell you what you can and can’t write about! I love this blog, because I also am married and we aren’t sure when we want kids yet. Reading your entries always gives me something to think about. If someone isn’t interested or can’t relate then they don’t have to read it, but how SELFISH for them to assume that just because your blog isn’t relatable for THEM, then it must not be relatable for ANYONE. They are just one person, the world doesn’t revolve around them. There are many other people in other stages of life. There are plenty of blogs that already deal with motherhood and infertility. Let people like us have somewhere to go too.

I’m just going to speak for the women that have a hard time conceiving real quick…

I’ve been trying for more than a year to have a second baby. Miscarried twice, and sometimes I just hate how depressed I am about it.

Does that stop me from reading your blog and being excited for you? NO.

It’s your blog. It’s your business. If people get upset because you want something when you have your precious gift, let them be upset. They have unresolved issues they need to deal with.

I disabled anonymous comments on my blog a bit ago when I got a REALLY rude comment. It makes it easier when you don’t have to deal with people that are so chicken they won’t even say who they are.

I love your blog, and I love how you are so prepared. I think you are more prepared for a baby than I am now, and I have a 2 year old.

I think, even if you do have trouble conceiving (which I pray you don’t… I wouldn’t wish this on anyone), I think you will take it well. You are more knowledgable than most mothers and grandmothers about everything. I wish all women could be like you.

We would have a lot less babies out there in orphanages and foster care…

Keep up the good work, and us infertile mommies out there are behind you 110%.

Stacy says:

You tell ’em girl!

Sorry to hear that. I’ve never heard of push presents before and to be honest it’s an odd idea to me but clearly that’s just not my culture (also gifts aren’t my love language in the slightest!)

I love what Kayce wrote. We also spent over a year TTC our second, now 6 months old. (The first came a bit earlier than we were intending! but very much wanted.) It is very hard, and I can understand that some people in that situation might choose not to read a blog like yours – BUT that is their choice and not in any way your “fault”. You go on writing!

(No one has trolled my blog so far so I don’t know how I would deal with it. Seems like you handled it well).

Oh whatever! I can’t even concieve (I had hysterectomy when I was 21), and I enjoy reading your blog! It’s your blog, write whatever you want. It’s the same for my blog, some people find it offensive with the stuff I write sometimes, but who cares. There are always those cowardly haters out there who can do nothing better than leave anonymous comments. Keep writing, and enjoy it!!!

Jenn says:

I got that exact camera for my “push present” although I had a c-section so I guess I should call it my “getting cut open present” 🙂 Some people are just way too sensitive and should just keep their comments to themselves. Keep on planning…and writing! 🙂

Oh..in my culture, we don’t get diamond for engagement ring..do I go around telling people it’s selfish when a girl dreams of getting a diamond ring?? Do I tell people that it puts more financial strain when you are already planning a wedding (that will definitely cost some!)? Do we go around telling those excited girls who are planning their weddings that they are being obsessive by planning so much?? NO!!! Having a baby definitely needs more planning than a wedding! so you go on planning! Every baby in this planet deserves well-planned parents!!

Jen-

I didn’t have time to fully read your previous post, but I do think that camera is a great idea. For any reason, actually. I see it like this- you enjoy photography and that would be a fitting gift for yourself: for doing so well during a big move, for starting a fabulous career, for thinking about starting a family… it’s a great idea!

I think many of the people who commented anon are a bit envious. Think of it this way: if you have a baby at 19 or 20, chances are, you aren’t getting a DLSR for a long, long time. Having children very young is expensive, hell, having children is expensive.

And how is this blog premature? Women (at least many of them, and don’t even let me factor into the LDS thing) plan anxiously for marriage and children through their late teen/young adult years.

You are doing great! Keep blogging!

I can’t imagine any woman who has gone through labor thinking that a labor gift is a bad idea. I can’t see anything wrong with a gift to recognize how amazing and wonderful you are, and to acknowledge the fabulous job you just did to bring a new life into the world.

Plus, once the baby is born, it is nice to have a little something special to remind you that you are as special AS A WOMAN as you are as a mama.

P.S. I vote for the earrings AND the camera.

Tracey says:

I don’t like annoymous comments either…if you want to make a comment and even disagree do it in person…don’t hide behind your anonimity…be brave…and stand by what you say…

I have never heard of a push present until I read your blog…yes, you are a planner…but I also see that as an age thing too…I wanted to be married and have 6 kids by the time I was 25…if you read my blog we all know how that turned out…

I don’t think your being selfish…

From the women’s perspective who are having a hard time conceiving…they are very sensitive and it comes out in interesting ways…

Enjoying your planning and yoga now because….one day …..when you have those 5 kids you won’t have time for either. Ha! Ha!

I still enjoy your blog…and I love your writing style…I am jealous…

God Bless

Sarah says:

Wow I hate trolls. I think that yes a healthy baby is the best present you could ask for. But I also think that a little kudos from other people would be nice too. Heck you just pushed a watermelon out of you…I don’t think hubby will be doing that anytime soon. But at the same time I don’t expect my husband to give me a present for it, but if your hubby is willing to and you want one I say go for it. I think that yes the camera is expensive but since you aren’t one of those people who got married ASAP in college AND had a baby before your first anniversary sans planning that you can afford a vacation or a camera.

I totally understand in your last post what you are saying about picking between the camera and the vacation. I’m guessing you can afford to do both but if you do both then you won’t have any money in your savings account. My hubby and I are the same way. We can afford to do fun stuff but we can’t afford to splerg on two big things because we wouldn’t have any money in our savings account for a few months. For example I will be going on a vacation to British Columbia in a week to see some of my old friends. My hubby and I wanted to go to Disney World too but since I’m going on this vacation we decided we will do something else that is less expensive so we don’t wipe out our savings account. This is what responsible people do…they plan. And yes sometimes you can’t always plan for everything but when you can it makes life just that much easier.

Veronica says:

You tell them! This is your blog; if they have a problem with it they can stop reading it. It’s not like you’re forcing them to read it or anything. I enjoy your blog and I think the idea of a push present is kind of cool. I also think a camera is an excellent idea that you and your husband and your future baby can all enjoy and benefit from. Good luck with everything and don’t let the trolls get to you. They just need something to complain about!

Jasmine says:

I’ve personally written you an email and have commented before. I love your blog! You remind me so much of myself and your PUBLIC planning is going to do wonders for my PRIVATE planning. I feen for your next blog post day in and day out. It’s like having a favourite tv show. Next time someone leaves you commments like those just respond by saying ” HI HATERS” lol 😉

Mallory says:

Although I don’t agree exactly with push presents (Oh, I think we moms should get them, but I don’t like it being called a “push” present. And I prefer something smaller scale…but to each her own) I think those commenters were incredibly rude. I hope you don’t always have to deal with negativity. I get impatient and excited for you to just get pregnant already, but I also love your journey. And I love how awesome you are at researching things!!!

Wow! I read your blog and have never been offended by anything that you’ve posted. Then again, I’m very thick skinned and don’t give a @#$% about what people think of me. It was also the first I’d ever heard of a push present. You are entitled to do what you want, however you want to. This is your experience, no one elses!

Plan on sister! I am mommy of four and two out of the four were not planned pregnancies. I admire you passion for planning this major event bound to take place in your life. I hope you get your camera. I can’t put mine down. I documented my preganancies, then the babies as they grew. Everyone has a personal scrapbook and babybook to document all their accomplishments. I wouldn’t have it any other way! I even went as far as getting 3D/ 4D ultrasound pictures and videos done in my third trimester. I love it!

I’ve never experienced trolls either, but this is the web. If you disagree with something no one has a pistol to your temple saying “Read on” Leave the page. Mama said if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all! I live by that!
Good Luck Baby Making!

Cynthia says:

Infertility does not give a person an excuse to be as rude and insensitive to others as they wish. Neither do ‘pregnancy hormones’. I’ve been through BOTH of those scenarios- hardcore- so it’s not like I don’t ‘Get it’. However, we always have control over what we say/do. A lot of women (myself included sometimes) just love to be the martyr and infertility can really feed that drive- IF a person allows it to.

That said, I also think ‘push presents’ are lame if labeled as such. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting that nice camera to get good photos of the much anticipated baby- I bought a good camera right before our twins were born and I’m so glad I did. You will be to so I say go for it in terms of making the purchase. I see nothing overly materialistic about your desire for the camera.

I think the irritant to people who read the post is the labeling of the purchase as a ‘push present’. I’ve got no problem with the purchase, I just wouldn’t use that label. In my mind a ‘push present’ is something one of those old, creepy rich guys buys for the barbie doll wife he purchased who’s 30 years younger than him. It just kinda conjures that image for me. Maybe others as well.

PS- I am NOT the annonymous commentor(s). I always own my words and TRY to respectfully disagree when I must. I’m like you- I have no problem with differences of opinion but don’t want to be insulted in my blog living room either!

Nikki Cogg says:

Ridiculous!! I have been seeing this happen more and more to the blogs I read. There are so many haters out there who are jealous and out to get those who have things that they simply can not have. If you want the push present, and want to label it that way, that is YOUR decision! I find it totally appaling that people are so immature as to put “anonymous” comments. If you don’t like what you’re reading, then leave. It’s that plain and simple. Insecure people are out to get others who seem to have things going well for them- knocking you down makes them feel better about themselves. It’s so unfortunate and can really ruin a good-hearted person’s day. Just know that you have a lot of followers out there who are in the same boat as you, learning from you (Me!), and just enjoy reading what you have to say!

The Dimino's says:

Some people don’t have anything better to do than just be hateful to people!!! Anyway, I got a Canon EOS 50D a little over a month ago and I just love it!!! Best thing I have bought in a while besides my MacBook!!!

Emmy says:

Wow.. I know there have been times when I have read blogs and thought, huh.. but you know I just don’t leave a comment then. Something our mother’s all taught us, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Sorry you have to deal with all that.

Those people have forgotten one of the most important things about being a mom.. you have to take care of yourself too, otherwise you will have nothing left to give your kids and they want everything!

So you get your push present and LOVE it!

Janna Bee says:

Ugh… so much I want to write, but I will make my points short…

People that leave anonymous comments that are mean are wimps.

Your blog is for you, you should be allowed to say what you want.

Why shouldn’t a conceiving Mom get a present? I’m trying to fathom why people are against this. I’m wondering if the anonymous commenters are men? Otherwise why would another woman be so against rewarding someone who is about to embark on the most difficult journey of life?

People that are TTC (trying to conceive) and having trouble are very sensitive to anything pregnancy or baby related, and I would guess that maybe some of those anonymous comments are from them.

Try not to let this get you down, everyone has different opinions, and not everyone will agree with yours. That being a said, a sign of having “made it” as a blogger are the trolls. So congratulations on your blog popularity!

Okay so let me first start by saying being pregnant is in no way shape or form easy and the better you can plan to make it work for you – at the right time, in the right place, and to keep yourself sane WHY NOT?! How many woman can actually say they planned everything? I wish I could have but I don’t regret a thing. Granted sometimes we can’t plan everything to a “T” and sometimes we are fools in planning because God has something else completely different planned for us BUT when we can WHY NOT?!

I’ve never TTC before so I have no idea how it is for people except for what I read and
I too wonder why some of the mommy blogging community is so hard on those who aren’t as traditional or have the same thoughts as them. Silly, I say. Your blog is so unique and Im sure many other woman find it VERY informative and entertaining. I have an aunt who has no children that found your blog through my follow friday on Twitter and loves to read it now.

As far as the financial strain, too much planning, lack of mental & emotional health, and selfishness “they” are claiming you don’t have I tell them to calm down ’cause I see it as just the opposite. I see you as being very dedicated and I think you’ll be an amazing mother.

All of these woman and maybe men come to your blog and read it apparently and your writing and thoughts provoked such emotion that they had to leave comments – so pat yourself on the back.

Wow! What’s with mama-drama?! I get your blog posts delivered to my inbox, but it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. I just had to come over and say woo-sa! I know we don’t have a lot in common (I am about 10 years older and expecting my first child any day now), but I totally support you and your way of going about making a baby. You do you! I think your blog is fun and has its own unique niche. I think anonymous posts are cowardly. Women can be such catty queen bees. Sad! But don’t rule out that there might be some men trolling out there in the blogosphere who just like to harass women.

Daisy says:

Wow…”how sweet” they took the time to comment on your blog…they do love you :-)..LOL

How awesome..the posts and responses (Today) We all are entitled to our little niche of the world and the fact that they stopped by your niche long enough to comment..well….! Good Job girl! You must be doing something right…and don’t fret about the “un-followers”…they come and go, hopefully bringing and keeping in a core reader group to stay with you as long as you like…That’s my hope anyway..

Lawd, do I need to take my earrings off and go get my vaseline?! They better leave my Young’un alone!

Here’s the deal: Baby Makin(g) Machine is one of the most original, thoughtful, insightful blogs I’ve ever read, and I wish to goodness it was around when I was trying to get pregnant with my babies. I did all the same exhaustive research on what I needed to do to prepare my body, mind, soul, marriage, family, and mental state for pregnancy, except the info Jennifer has at her fingertips just didn’t seem to be available in any tangible form besides the obvious What To Expect When You’re Expecting books. Kudos to Jennifer not only for preparing herself for the blessing, but helping other women do the same through her blog—a FREE service, might I remind, that she does from her heart, not for a check.

As for anonymous commenters? There’s always going to be some nastiness from haters. When they leave irrelevant, mean drivel on my blog, I tell them to go suck it AND I delete their comments. I don’t mind dissent or different points of view, but you don’t get to come up into my house and disrespect me.

I’m proud of you, Young’un—keep doing what you do!

seejenneat says:

So sorry to hear about the meanie comments. Some people just need to keep their thoughts as THOUGHTS! I’m all for expressing your opinion when it’s helpful, but some people are just out to be MEAN and ruin your day. The worst part is that they write a hurtful comment, press publish, and forget about it. So you’re left with the hurt feelings that you can’t get out of your head.

On a happier subject, I have a feeling you would LOVE yoga. I think it’s such a fabulous idea for you to get into it before and during your pregnancy. Good luck with it!

ItsKelly says:

Just came across this post from The Bloggess and thought it might give you a laugh during all this drama…

http://thebloggess.com/?p=634

Hope you’re having a great day!!

Im expecting a push present, absolutely, its traditional for an eternity ring – diamonds of course- to be given on the birth of the first child. I asked for something else, but Mr said eternity ring or nothign… and im not one to say no to diamonds!

Joy says:

Your blog, your business. No one told them to read it. You tell em’ girl! And keep your head high. What you do or want for your future family is your business that you have the confidence to share with us. And I’ve got nothing but respect for that as I’m sure many many more do then the few green eyed trolls out there!

Smiles!

Jenna says:

You tell ’em. I don’t allow anonymous comments. Cowards!

By the way, I think a camera is a GREAT idea! That’s exactly what I’d want for a push present, personally.

What in the world? For crying out loud, you wanted a camera as your push present, a useful tool for capturing the many memories you’ll have with your future child…and people had a problem with that? And I guess because other people have issues, you’re supposed to tip toe around your OWN blog?

Maybe that’s why I don’t write much of anything these days. All I do is post pictures…keeps everyone happy, lmao.

WOW,WOW,WOW. Trolls, SAHM, push presents. There is so much to learn.

All I can say in support of what you are doing and what you are trying to do is live your life! Everyone has an opinion, a comment, advise. That’s what filters are for. Trust me folks are full of opinions about me, my choices, my life and what matters is what’s right & true for me. I posted the four agreements two days ago. If you have time please read it [if you haven’t already done so] and keep it moving. DO YOU and keep your head up.

The fact that you went through the trouble to respond to the aforementioned “trolls” speaks volumes about your character. Keep your head up you baby making machine you 😉

What is a SAHM?

F.P.E. says:

I can’t believe people spend the time to write nasty comments about a blog they know nothing about. I actually think it’s quite interesting (and funny) your planning. I planned when I wanted to start having sex and types of bc I need to take for at least 2 years prior to having sex so I won’t get pregnant when I start. Anyway, I’m sorry they hurt your feelings and I think regardless of the platform there are people out there that get a kick out of hurting people’s feelings. So so sad.

Tamara says:

Obviously, the haters are coming out because you doing something right! Since when is planning considered OBSESSIVE?! Oooooh, dont get me started on that, cause I could rant all day on that topic alone (ive been made fun of for my planning too and I just wish i could tell everyone who thinks that to shove it up their…woooosaaaaah *breathe in, breathe out* lol ) Lawd, I wish I WOULD get some cowardly comments on my blog like that (i dont post enough to warrant that lolol)!

Dont you love it when strangers wanna come and tell you all about you but dont know you from a can of paint? ARGH!

Becky says:

What the F! Jen, you are way too nice. If I were you I would have just told Ms. Anonymous to stop wasting her time and go cry to someone who cares. Does she think her negativity will actually get her anywhere? She’s obviously bitter or has some intense processing of her own “stuff” to do. How sad…If you want a push present, then you should get a push present. If you want to write a blog post on the topic of your choice, then that’s what you should do. Why take the fun out of life? Why is there a standard for women to meet other women’s “emotional maturity”? Why be limited by other people’s limited perceptions?

supah ~d says:

YOur blog is fun.
BLog on.
TRolls be damned.

luke & sammy says:

good hell. have those 2 ever pushed out a baby? any one that does that deserves way more than a digital camera. it is hard work, and even though the baby in the end is the best gift it is always nice to feel appreciated. and I think it is great to actually plan to have a baby!

Wow, I had to catch up and go back a few posts. I cannot get over some of the comments. I think you are perfectly in the right to think about having a baby way before you have one or even get preggo. I have thought,dreamed and planned for my baby since I was 14 years old. I think you have a very motherly heart. (if that can be a real word!) Who says you cannot yearn for something you know you were made to be?

Jill says:

Geez people, lighten up. It’s very common in many cultures for the husband to present his wife with a gift after labor…because SHE just gave HIM the gift of a heir! What’s the big deal?

The fact that the comments were anonymous means they are not worth getting upset about, because the person who wrote them did not believe they were worth standing behind.

I’m not a mom, nor am I a long time reader of your blog but I am a blogger and I get trolls too! I try not responding to them as I know most of them (I’m a volunteer puppy raiser of service dogs and most readers are other raisers) but sometimes it’s hard to ignore them!

I’ve got to say, my husband and I have been married a year this weekend and I just turned 21. We’re not in any place to have a baby although we’d both like to be parents when we’re ready financially and stable. I’ve got to say, though, I don’t think you’re immature in having this blog and researching everything! One of my favorite things (besides looking at dog stuff /wink/) is researching cloth diapers, reading pregnancy blogs and spending time with my 3 year old niece and 8 month old nephew!

I’m sorry you’re dealing with blogger trolls, they’re exremely obnoxious and annoying and no one wants to deal with them! I greatly enjoy your blog though!

Oh, and I forgot! Many mothers recieve presents at the birth of their children, many times things not related to the child! Just because it’s not called a push present doesn’t make it any less of a push present! Some people just need to chill 😀 I would want a push present too! Everyone knows newborns are hard work, much less carrying the baby for nine months and then labor and delivery and endless doctor appointments! If anyone deserves a present at any time it’s at the birth of a new life!

brohammas says:

O.K. so I’m late to the party, sorry, I was off at some other blogs (theartofmanliness.com)trying to balance out all the estrogen over here.
Couple things,
I may have said this already but if ya’ll want to do a push present than fine. Your argument that a woman deserves one if thats what she wants is a little off in that wanting does not equal deserving. I want lots of things I will never deserve, like an Olympic gold medal.
As to the trolls, delete away…maybe.
unless you go private, blogs are a public forum. You are posting and inviting comments. If you state your opinion be ready for those of others, no mater how rudely stated.
Think of it as standing on a soap box in a town square, if ya don’t want attention, get off the box and be quiet (I’m not suggesting you do that).
Now after all that, I delete coments from my blog all the time. My blog is written to purther a specific purpose. I craft the message in hopes of conveying a specific idea or in hopes that understanding will be gained. Occassionally there are coments that go against, or would hinder this understanding and consequentially, I delete them. You are surely in the Mommy blog arena where some want all to be sift and fuzzy… and many have a strict guidline of what is soft and fuzzy. Play nice if you like, but don’t take trolling personal. Trolls are Trolls because they lurk. They lurk because they are angry and abnormal. They rarely have friends. Taking them seriously would be like finding the craziest person you have ever met, shooting him/her up with crack, then asking and taking inportant life advice….
Bad idea.

I asked my husband about this “push present” (didn’t even know it was called that) and what he thought. He said, “A present? Of course I’d give you something. What, do you want a car or something that we’d have to pick together?” I just looked at him stunned. A car? Um, no. I was thinking like something little, a bracelet or a anniversary band, but a car….???

Point of comment: even the husbands are thinking, “Duh, of course I’d get you something.” Why can’t we?

amazingk8 says:

Anonymous comment #2 said “You’re not even pregnant and planning your push present? I’ve never heard of anyone so obsessed with being pregnant before. “

HA! This person obviously doesn’t know me. Or anyone who has purposefully tried to conceive, for that matter.

Linked over here from MyBrownBaby and have enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing!

I for one i’m glad I have your blog… We intend to plan to get pregnant!I think that camera is a good push present! Welldone for responding to them in a consise manner!

Jaime says:

Some people! While everyone is entitled to their own opinion so are you. I read a book while I was expecting and it mentioned a “push Present” (don’t remember the name they used) but I loved the idea! I think every women deserves something from dinners, spa day or even said camera. that’s actually between you and your family. I hope you got your camera! its well deserved!

I also wanted to say that I’m also an over-planner but you can never be too over-prepared. Nothing went as planned with my daughters birth-day but because I did my research I felt a little more prepared than not at all!

brohammas says:

O.K. so I’m late to the party, sorry, I was off at some other blogs (theartofmanliness.com)trying to balance out all the estrogen over here.
Couple things,
I may have said this already but if ya’ll want to do a push present than fine. Your argument that a woman deserves one if thats what she wants is a little off in that wanting does not equal deserving. I want lots of things I will never deserve, like an Olympic gold medal.
As to the trolls, delete away…maybe.
unless you go private, blogs are a public forum. You are posting and inviting comments. If you state your opinion be ready for those of others, no mater how rudely stated.
Think of it as standing on a soap box in a town square, if ya don’t want attention, get off the box and be quiet (I’m not suggesting you do that).
Now after all that, I delete coments from my blog all the time. My blog is written to purther a specific purpose. I craft the message in hopes of conveying a specific idea or in hopes that understanding will be gained. Occassionally there are coments that go against, or would hinder this understanding and consequentially, I delete them. You are surely in the Mommy blog arena where some want all to be sift and fuzzy… and many have a strict guidline of what is soft and fuzzy. Play nice if you like, but don’t take trolling personal. Trolls are Trolls because they lurk. They lurk because they are angry and abnormal. They rarely have friends. Taking them seriously would be like finding the craziest person you have ever met, shooting him/her up with crack, then asking and taking inportant life advice….
Bad idea.

luke & sammy says:

good hell. have those 2 ever pushed out a baby? any one that does that deserves way more than a digital camera. it is hard work, and even though the baby in the end is the best gift it is always nice to feel appreciated. and I think it is great to actually plan to have a baby!

Oh, and I forgot! Many mothers recieve presents at the birth of their children, many times things not related to the child! Just because it’s not called a push present doesn’t make it any less of a push present! Some people just need to chill 😀 I would want a push present too! Everyone knows newborns are hard work, much less carrying the baby for nine months and then labor and delivery and endless doctor appointments! If anyone deserves a present at any time it’s at the birth of a new life!

seejenneat says:

So sorry to hear about the meanie comments. Some people just need to keep their thoughts as THOUGHTS! I’m all for expressing your opinion when it’s helpful, but some people are just out to be MEAN and ruin your day. The worst part is that they write a hurtful comment, press publish, and forget about it. So you’re left with the hurt feelings that you can’t get out of your head.

On a happier subject, I have a feeling you would LOVE yoga. I think it’s such a fabulous idea for you to get into it before and during your pregnancy. Good luck with it!

Mallory says:

Although I don’t agree exactly with push presents (Oh, I think we moms should get them, but I don’t like it being called a “push” present. And I prefer something smaller scale…but to each her own) I think those commenters were incredibly rude. I hope you don’t always have to deal with negativity. I get impatient and excited for you to just get pregnant already, but I also love your journey. And I love how awesome you are at researching things!!!

Cynthia says:

Infertility does not give a person an excuse to be as rude and insensitive to others as they wish. Neither do ‘pregnancy hormones’. I’ve been through BOTH of those scenarios- hardcore- so it’s not like I don’t ‘Get it’. However, we always have control over what we say/do. A lot of women (myself included sometimes) just love to be the martyr and infertility can really feed that drive- IF a person allows it to.

That said, I also think ‘push presents’ are lame if labeled as such. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting that nice camera to get good photos of the much anticipated baby- I bought a good camera right before our twins were born and I’m so glad I did. You will be to so I say go for it in terms of making the purchase. I see nothing overly materialistic about your desire for the camera.

I think the irritant to people who read the post is the labeling of the purchase as a ‘push present’. I’ve got no problem with the purchase, I just wouldn’t use that label. In my mind a ‘push present’ is something one of those old, creepy rich guys buys for the barbie doll wife he purchased who’s 30 years younger than him. It just kinda conjures that image for me. Maybe others as well.

PS- I am NOT the annonymous commentor(s). I always own my words and TRY to respectfully disagree when I must. I’m like you- I have no problem with differences of opinion but don’t want to be insulted in my blog living room either!

Oh..in my culture, we don’t get diamond for engagement ring..do I go around telling people it’s selfish when a girl dreams of getting a diamond ring?? Do I tell people that it puts more financial strain when you are already planning a wedding (that will definitely cost some!)? Do we go around telling those excited girls who are planning their weddings that they are being obsessive by planning so much?? NO!!! Having a baby definitely needs more planning than a wedding! so you go on planning! Every baby in this planet deserves well-planned parents!!

Sarah says:

Wow I hate trolls. I think that yes a healthy baby is the best present you could ask for. But I also think that a little kudos from other people would be nice too. Heck you just pushed a watermelon out of you…I don’t think hubby will be doing that anytime soon. But at the same time I don’t expect my husband to give me a present for it, but if your hubby is willing to and you want one I say go for it. I think that yes the camera is expensive but since you aren’t one of those people who got married ASAP in college AND had a baby before your first anniversary sans planning that you can afford a vacation or a camera.

I totally understand in your last post what you are saying about picking between the camera and the vacation. I’m guessing you can afford to do both but if you do both then you won’t have any money in your savings account. My hubby and I are the same way. We can afford to do fun stuff but we can’t afford to splerg on two big things because we wouldn’t have any money in our savings account for a few months. For example I will be going on a vacation to British Columbia in a week to see some of my old friends. My hubby and I wanted to go to Disney World too but since I’m going on this vacation we decided we will do something else that is less expensive so we don’t wipe out our savings account. This is what responsible people do…they plan. And yes sometimes you can’t always plan for everything but when you can it makes life just that much easier.

Jaime says:

Some people! While everyone is entitled to their own opinion so are you. I read a book while I was expecting and it mentioned a “push Present” (don’t remember the name they used) but I loved the idea! I think every women deserves something from dinners, spa day or even said camera. that’s actually between you and your family. I hope you got your camera! its well deserved!

I also wanted to say that I’m also an over-planner but you can never be too over-prepared. Nothing went as planned with my daughters birth-day but because I did my research I felt a little more prepared than not at all!

Aileen Rothrock says:

Just read this and made me lol, you are awesome! I never asked for a push present bc I didn’t know what to call it but my husband got me all kinds of things. It was almost like an unspoken thing, he just knew ha. I’ll have to make a little Push list next time.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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