The Lost Blogger
As I’ve developed my blog I’ve found I’m in the strangest “no man’s land.”
Single and Newlywed blogs didn’t quite fit into my theme as I’m past that stage of marriage, and I hardly mention my husband.
I’m close to fitting in the “Baby Blog” group, except for the fact that I don’t have a baby. I try to cheat sometimes and count my dog, but that didn’t always fly.
“Mommy Bloggers” are open to letting me hang out with them because I’m “different” but I often felt excluded when meme topics would surround children and “stay at home motherhood.” My mind is always flowing with questions about motherhood, and I think one thing moms like to do is give advice. Solicited or not. I’m always here to listen/ read, and ready with open ears… Er, eyes.
And last but not least, “Infertility Bloggers” almost always immediately rejected me… How could I know what it was like to want a child? I haven’t been trying for as long as they have, a few even wrote me hate emails and comments telling me how the tone of my blog offends them. Lord knows that’s not my intention at all, in fact, I had no idea people could be so upset about me writing about my journey. I’ve never tried to compare myself to someone else who’s gone through as much, but sometimes people take me the wrong way.
I mistakenly tried to add myself to a list of what I thought were “TTC Blogs” But come to find out they were “infertility blogs” and I’m not allowed on the list cause I haven’t been diagnosed with infertility.
I’m not going to complain about that… It’s a high price to pay to be on that list, and I’d hate to offend someone who thinks I don’t deserve to be on it.
A “Fertility Blogger” I guess you could call what I’ve been. So many blogs of that sort are infertility blogs, so I think the fact that I’m writing about the process before knowing the state of my fertility is slightly revolutionary. No one really knows what to think of it.
And with that I’ve decided to make my own blogroll! I know a few of my blog friends are TTC bloggers too, and I’d love to have a blogroll of them to visit. Haven’t been trying long enough to be on Stirrup Queen’s list? That’s ok! I’ll add you to mine!
It’s ok if that’s not the theme of your blog, I can know to visit you often though, and check up on you! Also, let other TTC bloggers (if there are any others besides me) know about it too!
If you’re not a “Fertility Blogger”, let me know what kind of category you’d like to be in and I’ll add you! I’ll add a “Future Mama” list to it too. Maybe a “Trying for #2” “pregnant” even “baby blog” group as well. Let me know if you’d like to be added and how and you’ve got it
Your blog is so fun to read and I don’t think any of us “fit” in any one category. When I was getting ready for our wedding I joined Weight Watchers and got such a rude awakening when a group from their board berated me for being a skinny girl trying to be to skinny…really people…judgemental much? The good thing is we are all out here to support each other and I am excited for you and to hear more about your journey! You sound like you will be an amazingly strong mother.
I really don’t care where you fit in, I just like reading your blog. And I must really like it, because I keep coming back! (And when I clean up the list of blogs I follow, I never delete you!) I think your desire to learn really strikes my fancy! Anyway, I would love to get put on your blogroll. I could be in with the TTC. Or somewhere else. I blog about all aspects of motherhood. So you can put me wherever you like. The Mother’s Lamentations. http://motherslamentations.blogspot.com
Congrats on the win! Your blog is awesome and you deserve it. I will vote for the overall win!
Your blog is great, congrats on winning!! I’ve been ttc for over a year. But I haven’t been trying very hard – no charting temp. or doctor visits or anything. I just want it to happen when it happens, and I’m scared to find out if I’m broken. Does that qualify me for your blogroll?
Count me in – I’m not infertile since I’ve had two pregnancies in the year that we’ve been trying. But both resulted in miscarriage. I’m not a mommy (yet?) although I definitely want to be one with all my heart.
I talk about it a lot on my blog – especially since our first m/c at the end of June. You would never think it’d be so hard to make babies… before you start trying and find out it’s not easy for everyone.
Congrats on the win! I hope my votes helped you get there 🙂
You, my friend, are in a league of your own. That is what’s so cool about you! I’d love to be on your blog roll!
I have enjoyed reading your blog! We have been trying for 2 1/2 years to have baby #2. My hubbie checks out good,so I guess you could say I’m infertile. I started taking clomid last month. Hopefully it works! Anyway, what I wanted to say was this, I don’t know why you were recieving hatemail! I am by no means offended by anything you have said or anything like that! You make me laugh!
Not sure about you, but I am so, so, SO very tired of everybudy trying to make us fit into these little bitty boxes that really don’t represent US! What matters is you have a TON of people who enjoy YOU. And your blog. No matter the title. The category. The purpose. Just be Jennifer! The TTC-Jennifer. The mommy to a precious puppy/kid-Jennifer. A wonderful wife-Jennifer. A special real-life friend-Jennifer. A fun and exciting blog writer-Jennifer. The Baby Mackin Machine Blogging-Jennifer. Blog Evolving-Jennifer. We – your true blog friends – love it all! Honestly. Keep doin’ what you are doin’! (And I wanna know your personal blog too – spill it!!!!!)
Well, I have to say is keep doing what you do. I keep coming back to read more and more. To me it doesn’t matter where you fit in, that is what I think is cool about you. You make your own category.
I’m not sure where I would fit in as far as blogs go. I sometimes write stuff about being a mom. Sometimes I write stuff that I think is funny, it’s just random to me. I just like to use the blog as a means of expressing myself. Which I think you do. I love reading what you are experiencing in your journey. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that with my everday stuff. So thanks for your blog.
Congrats on your win! I think I’d fall into the Future Mama category since we aren’t TTC yet.
Congratulations!!! You have a fantastic blog here!!! I LOVE your header!
I love reading about your blogger journey. I have totally gone through the same struggle. I kept trying to find newlywed bloggers but it is nearly impossible to find people that are super open about their newlywed experiences. It’s just hard to people to be really open and honest about that subject because it is a really private matter. I still have tons of questions, and every not and then concerns that I would like to bounce off of other newlyweds. But now that we have been married almost a year I am kind of growing out of that phase. My interested has also been moving towards pre-family preparation. I have a feeling that I will continue to be in the same awkward situation that you have been in in the past. Not quite TTC, more like pre-TTC or pre-mommmy. How do you find where you belong? haha. I’m glad that I have watched you plunge through this blogger challenge.I have even taken a little bit of a blogger break to determine how I will go about managing my blog’s “mission.”
Anyway, I have voted for you like a bazillion times! Enough to see you move from 7% to 9%. But DANG! VOTES ARE ROLLING IN AT LIKE OVER 100 PER 10 SECONDS!! There is some serious competition girl. I will keep voting. I am so proud of you and think you deserve it. Congrats on the award you have already received!
I have a friend in TX who raised his little girl the best way he could. Sad to say that she grew up to be hooked on meth by age 15 and he had to send her to drug rehab. She did really well going out of Texas to get help, but she had a death wish. (gasp) I can’t go on, it’s too painful.
hmm…i’m not sure which “category” i fit.. for now i think i should be in TTC, but next month we plan on goin into THE repro center..dun dun dun.. yes, i’m nervous..does that qualify me to be in the infertility category?
haha, future mama, u crack me up. i luv how people always wanna classify everything. i suppose its human nature, a way of organizing. since i’m like most humans, i think you classify under TTC blogging now ; p
I always love reading your blog. You’re so honest, but not rude about it. I kinda feel your frustration. I am a newlywed, but since we are also wanting baby #1 I don’t feel like I fit in with some other newlywed blogs. So if you want you can definitely classify me as a TTC or a newlywed blog. Whichever. 🙂
Can I be the blog that can’t make up her freakin’ mind if she wants a baby now or later? Because that is totally where I am. I am to scared to take the plunge and my husband seems content on letting the decision COMPLETELY fall on my shoulders. Thanks hun. So I guess I would be the indecisive blogger.
congrats on your read. SOrry to hear your getting hate emails. SO sad when people just can’t switch websites they have to be nasty and hurt people feelings. Hugs to your for being strong.
I run like the wind from TTC blog title, I’m so done having babies but I cheer others on who are thinking, wanting, trying and pregnant. I’m a supporter I guess. I’m in the mist of Living my life with kids and learning so I guess I can be classified as a Married with children Lol love that show.
First of all – CONGRATULATIONS!!!
And second. I guess I’m a mommy blogger. I blog about the adventures of raising kids and trying to hold on to your sanity. But I think in that sense, we’re all in that same boat. Whether the adventure is TTC or coping with loss, or infertility or adoption or multiples… We’re all in it together.
I’d like to think of us as women bloggers in a parenting state of mind.
You fit right in. 🙂
congrats on your win at the bump. I went over and voted for you!
What a great post! I too fit into that no mans land! My blog is http://www.afterthealter.com I am no longer a newlywed…I did have a miscarriage this summer but since I have only been TTC (including the m/c) for 5 months I wouldn’t fit into infertility…and although I wish I were I am not pregnant, and I am not a mommy! I’d love to be included on your blog roll! Great idea! I am curious to see who else you put up there!
I think I just found a place where I fit!!! I saw your blog as the best fertility blogger on The Nest, and I thought to myself, “That’s exactly that kind of blog I’ve been looking for!”
I’ve been trying to conceive for close to a year now…and my husband and I just had a m/c in September. I really haven’t blogged about TTC before the m/c, but I’ve been blogging about that experience….and plan on blogging more about TTC now that it’s all out there that we’re trying.
I love the “baby bucket list”!
Please feel free to add me to your blog roll…and I look forward to seeing all the other “fertility blogs” you add.
People are so ridiculous- good thing you blog for YOU and not for THEM right? hehe
I have an award for you! Come get it on my blog. http://momaandbaby.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-first-blog-award.html
I love your blog no matter what category it’s in! XX
I think you have the right idea – don’t try to fit in, just be YOU! You are amazing, smart, funny, and interesting, and not one-dimensional like some of the others. Keep on blogging about whatever you want to blog about, and you will have readers who love you for who you are, not what category you belong to ;o)
P.S. total shout to you in my most recent post ; p
First – CONGRATULATIONS on the win! I just voted for you for Best Mommy Blog. 🙂
If it’s any consolation, my blog doesn’t fit in anywhere either. A group TTC/PG/infertility blog doesn’t fit in any blogroll neatly – no one quite knows what to do with the idea of a group of women blogging about this stuff! 🙁
Congratulations! You do have the cutest blog around:) So many blogs to read, and this one is always a pleasure 🙂
It’s always difficult when you feel that you don’t fit in anywhere. I’m not a “mommy blogger” (or am I?) because, my blog doesn’t only revolve around children. I just “am” when it comes to blogging. You are more than welcome to join me! I welcome anyone no matter what type of blogger they are.
Congratulations and good luck on the award!
As someone who struggled with infertility, I agree that it’s a club no one wants to belong to. For your sake, I’m so glad you are a “fertility blog” and don’t have to classify yourself as an infertility one! You definitely have found a great niche and a way to provide important information for others TTC. I think so many of us don’t fit into one category or another, or if we do then that category shifts as you go through life changes. I’m hoping you’ll get the shift you desire, since I’m sure you’d love to become a “mommy blog” soon!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
So glad I found your blog! I’ll be sending a few friends to you! If you list adoptive mom blogs, that would be me!
Jeana in Illinois
I’d love it if you could add me to your future mama list! I’m on the cusp of ttc! I’m really excited and i read your blog all the time… i actually found it whilst looking for info on preconception. now i’m reading you blog backwards.
you can find me at : http://theprincesspoetslifeadventures.blogspot.com/
Looking forward to reading that spawnie has arrived! 🙂
Oh goodness, this post has made me realise that I don’t fit anywhere anymore either! It started out as a babyloss blog after losing my son in February, and it still primarily is, but at times I stray into the normal “mummy” blogging, and for a while I was a “TTC after loss” blogger… and now I’m an “I’m pregnant again but not willing to announce it on my blog for another month or so” blogger lol
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