The Letter to Aunt Flow

Dear Aunt Flow,

I remember the first time you came to visit me. It was time time around middle school. I was wondering when you were coming, as many of my friends were talking about their special visits from the Aunts.

I was a little shocked when you finally showed up, and I found you didn’t live up to all the hype. Please don’t take offense… It’s just that you’ve been known to cause me A LOT of pain.

As I got older, and eventually got married I eventually found ways to avoid you for awhile. I would take extra birth control week after week so I’d only have to see you every third month. Then I found I could take a big dose of a shot in the booty and avoid you for three whole months at a time… I don’t think I saw you for nearly a year.

But I must have missed you deep down because yet again I changed my form of birth control and decided to deal with you in light doses every month, for about three years. It was towards the end of that time that I began to appreciate you. In fact, that’s when I went of hormonal birth control all together and started to learn about you and what made you tick.

For the last three months I’ve studied you… The real you, and I pretty much know the day and time to expect you. I’ve appreciated that. Oh yes, there have been moments when you’ve caused me scares here and there, but overall, I think we have a good working relationship.

That’s why I’m writing you now… To ask you to do me a favor. See, I’ve enjoyed your visit this month (as much as a girl can) but now… Don’t be offended–but I want you to go away for a while. I know you’re wondering how long, and I’m thinking about a year or so… Just long enough for me to produce and incubate a baby for nine months.

I hope you don’t mind. It’s not that I don’t like you… Really, I appreciate the way you remind me I’m a woman month after month, but I really don’t want to see you anymore… Not until I have a baby.

Perhaps you could go on a vacation, or plan ways to torment me when you get back, but please don’t torment me in four weeks.

Thanks for your consideration. I hope to not see you next month!


Future Mama

See my other letter to her here.

Mallory says:

This makes me ridiculously excited for you!!! Good luck (and have fun) TTC!!!

LOL I feel the same way, Ive been wanting her to not visit for 9 months for awhile! Great letter!! 🙂

Jenna says:

Good luck! I know how long the two-week wait can be … I hope this is your month!

Sarah says:

Cute letter! Good luck to you! I can’t wait for my turn either. I always hated Aunt Flow. She used to bring nausea, horrible cramps, and vomiting with her on the first day…not my idea of fun.

Along with the other SITSah’s I do hope that God [big G] has winked at you and your husband. I hope, I hope…

Josie says:

Love it! 🙂 Im in the same boat now hehehe.

Sevibabyyy says:

HAHA! I’m going to stay away from her for a while. Good luck with TTC! I’m rooting for you guys, I wanna see cute baby pictures. Gives me hope for my future 🙂

Eva Gallant says:

Goodd Luck; Let’s hope Aunt Flow decides to go on an around the world cruise!

just stopping by from SITS to say hi; hope you’ll do the same.

Tori says:

Good luck!!! I hope she stays away for you! 🙂

Sarah says:

What a wonderful letter, I can FEEL your love for Aunt F. As I got older I also realized I appreciate her. She is proof that, at a quick glance and assuming nothing major is wrong under the surface, I will be able to have babies. It’s comforting at 31 years old. I will gladly play host to YOUR Aunt for the next year…let me know when you want her home and good luck! (Did I SERIOUSLY just offer to host someone’s period?? I don’t know that I’ve ever offered that before 🙂

Amy Lynn says:

I love this! It made me smile really big. I hope she takes a vacation for you!! Keep us posted! 🙂

Nikki Cogg says:

Woooo good luck to you and your hubs!! I love your letter, although I think mine would have been much meaner. I’m going to tell my auntie to go along with yours, I think I made her really angry a long time ago and she is still holding a grudge against my poor defenseless uterus.

Mrs. Priss says:

Very cute letter…I feel the same way. Except you are handling it much better than I do. 🙂 Good luck!

Just think… if you breastfeed you could keep her on vacation even longer 😉

Wow, I have been peeking in on you here and there and I know your story. With the being said, I am very excited for you! Good Luck!

Veronica says:

You are hilarious!

HOPE your Aunte F runs far far away never to return for 10 months. preganancy last for almost 10 months. pr 10 months and a week in the case of my 3rd child. After 40 weeks then you get a 6w visit from aunt flo while you enjoy your brand new baby. FUn FUn Now theres’s a party for ya.

Good luck baby dust vibes coming your way

Jessie says:

I have a friend who had a baby nine months ago and still hasn’t had a visit from Aunt Flow since she gave birth. That’s a boat I wouldn’t mind being in!

seejenneat says:

YAY! Good luck!!!

Amy says:

You are a brave brave soul…I couldn’t be without BC without knowing that I was TTC…no way…Aunt Flow and I are NOT friends!

Kimberly says:

Very considerate of you, I think!

Hi! I just found your blog. I too am trying to concieve. We’ve been trying for 2 1/2 years. And have had two miscarriages during this time. Luckily, I have a preschooler who helps keep my mind off the ache to have another little one. We tried for a year before we finally had her. I told my husband I think the Lord makes me wait for my ‘Blessings’ so I’ll have more patience with them. When my preschooler is driving me up the wall, I think back on the time when I prayed to have her.
Anyway, I enjoyed reading your last post…

Marly says:

Look at you making it all official! I haven’t been here in a while. blog stalking got put on the back burner. I was happy to see you’ve crossed something off your list and something very important! It’s something I’m always working on.

JosiahsMommy says:

I’m excited for you!! Can’t wait to read about your journey. Just a random sidenote- I got my first post partum af EXACTLY one year from my last period before getting pregnant. Talk about a schedule huh?

Jess says:

*sigh* im one of those unlucky ones that no matter if you exclusively breastfeeding or not you still get AF so while I get my 9 months (kinda besides spotting) free as soon as the baby comes out back comes AF & also mama becomes fertile so if your not careful 5 months later your knocked up again 😀

melifaif says:

Oh that is hilarious! I love it! I needed a good chuckle today and you provided.

Ha! This was awesome. Such a great concept and well written. Stopping by from SITS 🙂

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget


I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.

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