The Letter to Aunt Flow

Dear Aunt Flow,

I remember the first time you came to visit me. It was time time around middle school. I was wondering when you were coming, as many of my friends were talking about their special visits from the Aunts.

I was a little shocked when you finally showed up, and I found you didn’t live up to all the hype. Please don’t take offense… It’s just that you’ve been known to cause me A LOT of pain.

As I got older, and eventually got married I eventually found ways to avoid you for awhile. I would take extra birth control week after week so I’d only have to see you every third month. Then I found I could take a big dose of a shot in the booty and avoid you for three whole months at a time… I don’t think I saw you for nearly a year.

But I must have missed you deep down because yet again I changed my form of birth control and decided to deal with you in light doses every month, for about three years. It was towards the end of that time that I began to appreciate you. In fact, that’s when I went of hormonal birth control all together and started to learn about you and what made you tick.

For the last three months I’ve studied you… The real you, and I pretty much know the day and time to expect you. I’ve appreciated that. Oh yes, there have been moments when you’ve caused me scares here and there, but overall, I think we have a good working relationship.

That’s why I’m writing you now… To ask you to do me a favor. See, I’ve enjoyed your visit this month (as much as a girl can) but now… Don’t be offended–but I want you to go away for a while. I know you’re wondering how long, and I’m thinking about a year or so… Just long enough for me to produce and incubate a baby for nine months.

I hope you don’t mind. It’s not that I don’t like you… Really, I appreciate the way you remind me I’m a woman month after month, but I really don’t want to see you anymore… Not until I have a baby.

Perhaps you could go on a vacation, or plan ways to torment me when you get back, but please don’t torment me in four weeks.

Thanks for your consideration. I hope to not see you next month!

Sincerely,

Future Mama

See my other letter to her here.

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29 Comments

  1. Cute letter! Good luck to you! I can’t wait for my turn either. I always hated Aunt Flow. She used to bring nausea, horrible cramps, and vomiting with her on the first day…not my idea of fun.

  2. HAHA! I’m going to stay away from her for a while. Good luck with TTC! I’m rooting for you guys, I wanna see cute baby pictures. Gives me hope for my future 🙂

  3. What a wonderful letter, I can FEEL your love for Aunt F. As I got older I also realized I appreciate her. She is proof that, at a quick glance and assuming nothing major is wrong under the surface, I will be able to have babies. It’s comforting at 31 years old. I will gladly play host to YOUR Aunt for the next year…let me know when you want her home and good luck! (Did I SERIOUSLY just offer to host someone’s period?? I don’t know that I’ve ever offered that before 🙂

  4. Woooo good luck to you and your hubs!! I love your letter, although I think mine would have been much meaner. I’m going to tell my auntie to go along with yours, I think I made her really angry a long time ago and she is still holding a grudge against my poor defenseless uterus.

  5. HOPE your Aunte F runs far far away never to return for 10 months. preganancy last for almost 10 months. pr 10 months and a week in the case of my 3rd child. After 40 weeks then you get a 6w visit from aunt flo while you enjoy your brand new baby. FUn FUn Now theres’s a party for ya.

    Good luck baby dust vibes coming your way

  6. I have a friend who had a baby nine months ago and still hasn’t had a visit from Aunt Flow since she gave birth. That’s a boat I wouldn’t mind being in!

  7. You are a brave brave soul…I couldn’t be without BC without knowing that I was TTC…no way…Aunt Flow and I are NOT friends!

  8. Hi! I just found your blog. I too am trying to concieve. We’ve been trying for 2 1/2 years. And have had two miscarriages during this time. Luckily, I have a preschooler who helps keep my mind off the ache to have another little one. We tried for a year before we finally had her. I told my husband I think the Lord makes me wait for my ‘Blessings’ so I’ll have more patience with them. When my preschooler is driving me up the wall, I think back on the time when I prayed to have her.
    Anyway, I enjoyed reading your last post…

  9. Look at you making it all official! I haven’t been here in a while. blog stalking got put on the back burner. I was happy to see you’ve crossed something off your list and something very important! It’s something I’m always working on.

  10. I’m excited for you!! Can’t wait to read about your journey. Just a random sidenote- I got my first post partum af EXACTLY one year from my last period before getting pregnant. Talk about a schedule huh?

  11. *sigh* im one of those unlucky ones that no matter if you exclusively breastfeeding or not you still get AF so while I get my 9 months (kinda besides spotting) free as soon as the baby comes out back comes AF & also mama becomes fertile so if your not careful 5 months later your knocked up again 😀

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