fbpx

The Labor Fascination

I was 11 when I was in the delivery room while my little sister was born. Oh yea, I watched it all… Come to think of it, I’m not sure why my mom did that to us. I mean, I think birth is a beautiful thing, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t know babies came out that way.–Actually while I’m writing this, I’m remembering a demonstration my dad did with my little toy cat called Kitty Surprise! It was a stuffed cat that had three kittens inside. You’d get the kittens out through the Velcro at the stomach-area. My dad took the toy, told me they didn’t come out that way, and proceed to demonstrate them coming out of what looked like the butt-area…. I didn’t believe him. A few years later that theory was confirmed at my sister’s birth.

Since then, I think, I’ve always had a fascination with births and from “I didn’t know I was pregnant” to “A Baby Story” to “Bringing Home Baby” I’m there. Even Especially for all that bloody gory stuff!

I know it’s strange, but I tell people all the time if I wasn’t a journalist I’d be an OBGYN. Yea… I’d deliver babies! …Too bad I’m not smart and I hate math. Other than that I think I’d love it! For some people the thought of labor scares them more than any other part of having kids. To me, that’s probably the best part. I think the whole pregnancy, baby, mother-baby bond is just fascinating!

To be honest, I didn’t really even consider home birth or anything of that sort until I started this blog and began meeting other women who have experienced that. Now the only big thing that turns me off to that idea is the pain–No biggie right? I hate pain. And to be honest I’m not sure I could handle not getting an epidural.

I talked to my mom about it, she delivered me naturally without medication, but with the rest of my siblings she got the epidural–And recommended I don’t mess around and just do the same thing.

Going with this… I decided to watch The Business of Being Born. Everyone kept telling me how good of a documentary it is so I decided to give it a whirl last night. Once I got over the initial shock of seeing screaming naked women (cause usually on TLC they’ve got it all blurred out) it was quite fascinating as well.

Although it seemed a bit biased to me, it did turn me on a little more to the idea of something like a birth center–Maybe. I always thought since I have good insurance, why go to something like that? But then I noticed some of the women in the movie had OB’s they went to at the hospital that were kind of their “back up.” That made me feel more interested in different options because it’s like having two doctors. But just as quickly as that thought came to my mind, a woman in the movie started screaming and I change my mind again. If these women… Women who wanted and planned to have a birth naturally were moaning/screaming in pain, crying and saying they couldn’t do it. How am I suppose to deal with something like that?!

The up side to me seems to be when the baby comes out. I love how even though they’re all sticky and kinda gross-looking they go straight in mommy’s arms. It’s so animalistic, natural and I LOVE that. It kind of made me sad, even on “A Baby Story” today when the baby was whisked away to be weighed and cleaned and stuff before the mom got to hold it. Another woman in the documentary grabbed her baby right out of herself, and while it was slightly weird, it was strangely cool too. I wonder if all that pain immediately goes away once you hear and see the baby or if I’d be like “Umm, I can’t look at you for a moment, you hurt me.”

It would be cool to say “I did it naturally” but I don’t know if I’d be able to do it. I’m not sure if the home birth thing is for me… And I’m not sure what my husband would think. I imagine he’d think like the husband/dad/football player I just watched on this show who was like “I don’t want all that stuff coming out all over the bed… I’ve gotta sleep there!”

Speaking of husbands, I’ve heard some of my friends say they don’t want their husbands watching “down there” during labor, for fear they won’t want to doit anymore. All I’ve gotta say is–Not only is my husband going to be watching he’s going to be video taping the whole thing (my choice not his)! So the place I deliver DOES have to be a place that allows video cameras cause Lawd knows I’ve watched enough labors and I want to be able to see my own… Don’t worry, I won’t play it for you when you come over, I just think it would be cool for me to see later… Again with the fascination. Perhaps I’ll even show it to my kids so they WON’T want to go down the “getting pregnant before you’d ‘pose to road”… Hey, it worked for me!

But there are so many options.. Water birth looks kind of cool too! I don’t know though. I imagine I’ll just plan on a hospital cause I HATE pain! And that’s pretty much my #1 goal as of now–As painless as possible. Hopefully I’ll find a nice one that is cozy and whatnot and can feel like home.– Maybe I’ll even stalk it a lot beforehand so it does feel more homey.

I think I’m going to be one of those sorta-crazy extra-informed people who does a lot of research, reads a lot of books and talks to a lot of professionals before I make my final decision. Yea… I think this is only the beginning of my fascination. Maybe I’m over-thinking it, but one point I thought the documentary made was that a lot of people spend more time choosing a house, or car or TV than they do deciding on how to bring their baby into this world. Umm, just based on this blog alone I DOUBT that will be me.

What do you think of home births, birthing centers, hospital births? I’m not trying to start a debate here on what’s better because I think situations are different for each person, but I am interested in knowing what avenue you chose or will choose.

Ok now on to the fun part–One person that may be fun to chat with is a birthing coach or mentor. Sounds a little weird right? Ok.. Maybe it’s a little odd, but my fascination couldn’t keep me from finding out what the heck that meant and I met Karen Angstad through Twitter and we were chatting about interesting things even before you get to the birth part! She even says she can help teach women how to experience a pain-free birth (and I wonder if the orgasmic births are on her list)! Oh yea, I’m going to be chatting with her about some cool stuff once I’m ready to turn my Baby Makin’ Machine “ON!”

Well, after talking with Karen, she was nice enough to offer one of my readers a free one-hour mentor session with her! During your mentor session, discuss your desires, fears, and intentions in relation to your pregnancy, birth and mothering. This is for women pre-conception, mid-pregnancy or post partum (so that covers us all right?!). Uniquely tailored to each woman’s needs, Karen’s mentor program is focused on empowering each woman to trust in her body’s ability to birth, connect to her inner knowing, and find the support and resources she needs to embrace the sacred journey of pregnancy and birth. Conscious parenting begins before birth.

How fun right? Someone to chat with about all this pre-conception, mid-pregnancy, and post labor stuff! She also has a lot of helpful information on her site about “How to expect what you’re expecting” etc!

So leave a comment, tell me about your labor experiences or anticipations for the future and you’ll be entered in to win the mentor session! Let me know if you follow me, Tweet about the contest, post, subscribe, have my button, or any of that other good stuff for extra entries. I’ll draw a number via random.org and in touch with the winner and set you up with Karen. Giveaway ends June 30th. (I’ll contact the winner and ask if they’d like to use/gift the session or if you don’t need it, pass it to the next winner).

More info about Karen Angstadt: A Birth Mentor with over ten years experience empowering women. As founder of Intentional Birth, Karen’s mission is to prevent and heal the pain of birth trauma. She teaches women how to experience pain-free birth, leading them to discover their Inner Guide to the best possible birth experience. She is the author of the Living Intention e-zine and serves women through individual mentoring, tele-seminars, and home study material. Learn more at http://www.intentionalbirth.com/


Cascia says:

I gave birth naturally three times. My labors have all been short and easy but yes it is painful. But you know what else? All the agony and pain is well worth it in the end. Once you have that beautiful baby in your arms you know right away why you went through the nine months of feeling uncomfortable and the pain of delivery. Giving birth is a blessed experience and part of being a woman. You know why us women have babies? It is because men are big babies themselves and could never tolerate all the pain that goes with it. We are much stronger and the birth experience is well worth it. I can’t wait to go through it again in a couple of months.

Danielle says:

What a great post. I also love all those shows and am so fascinated by childbirth & pregnancy. BUT — the pain REALLY scares me. I feel exactly the same way you do, actually.

Epidurals scare me, too. I don’t like big needles.

I think the idea of a birthing center is great. Hospitals are so uncomfortable. If I could tolerate the pain, I would definitely want to have a natural childbirth. My mom didn’t have any drugs with all 3 of her kids, but she’s a lot more hard core than I am.

Sarah says:

I loved the kitty surprise toy when I was little…the picture made me laugh. I definitely don’t want to have a home birth because I would be worried that if something were wrong I would have to go to the hospital and risk the chance of me or the baby dying. I have been told that I have a high tolerance for pain…which is awesome! So I’m hoping to have a natural unmedicated birth if possible but in the hospital. If contractions are anything like what my period cramps were then it’s not too horrible. Believe me I would get the worst cramps ever on the first day, hot flashes, and then I would throw up. I never went to school on the first day of my period because I would end up going home. So ya it sucked but I got through it without any pain meds (I know what was I thinking right?), until I discovered Advil…haha thanks mom…but even Advil didn’t work all the time so I had to just lay there curled up in a ball on the floor wishing for the cramps to go away! I have read a little about the different options but I don’t think I will make my ultimate decision until I am actually pregnant and consult with hubby. Insurance for me isn’t a problem because he’s in the military but I should research what my options are…humm now you got me thinking. I think a lot of has to do with your attitude during the delivery as well.

Jessica says:

Can I comment without being entered? It’s not that I can’t be appreciative, but I just think someone else would find that more valuable than I would.

Otherwise…you’re my sister at heart, I’m quite certain. I’ve had somewhat of a fascination with births too. And, no, not in a creepy way. I think it’s just such an amazing experience and I can’t (but…can) wait for it to happen one day! I am like you, however, and terrified of pain! I’ll probably be in a hospital WITH an epidural! 🙂

Ashley says:

I love that photo of the dog and baby pups….hilarious.

I was terrified of labor. The day I found out I was pregnant I was overjoyed and THEN I was hysterical when I realized that the baby had to eventually come out somehow! I told my doctor I didn’t even want to go into labor. I had enough anxiety just going to the OBGYN! I was always having mini panic attacks on the table and sweating cocoa butter goo everywhere. I wonder if I could be diagnosed with “fear of ANY vagina pain.”

Sooo….My doctor scheduled a c-section for me. It was SUPER easy for me. Didn’t feel a thing. I think the birth experience is different for everyone. I had too much anxiety about the birth and once I scheduled the c-section I was able to enjoy being pregnant. I tried to breastfeed…ONCE…. in the hospital and it wasn’t for me either. The nurses ignored me after that! I felt like the worst mother but I just couldn’t do it. Under extraordinary pressure from my mother, I pumped for a little while so my daughter would get the nutrients from breastmilk. Now I am glad I made the choices I did. I don’t regret anything. People always ask me if I wish I could have felt what labor is like….um, no. I have no desire to ever breastfeed. I’m just built and wired a little differently. I think I am a great, loving, compassionate mother though and my daughter turned out just fine 🙂

My hubby and I did take a tour of the hospital and a few classes there as well about birthing. Seriously, the videos and photos they showed were enough to scare anyone from ever getting pregnant! One lady looked like she had a 20 lb baby coming out…..my husband said “that’s not a baby….it’s a freaking toddler!”

I was completely obsessed with birth though. I recorded EVERY Baby Story on TLC. I read every book. I searched the Internet for everything under the sun. Episiotomy was probably my most extensive search 😉

Ashley says:

Oh, and if I win can I gift the session to my sister-in-law who is expecting her first baby?! 😉

Well, I was all set for a hospital birth where I thought I would “try” not to use an epidural because I am not really a medicine girl but we would see what happened. And then I saw the Business of Being Born and it changed my mind completely. I was so afraid of birth (I kinda just wanted a c-section) that when I saw the movie I thought, “huh, that is not so bad. I can do that.” And we decided on a birthing center – we never really considered the home birth, we felt safer with the hospital right there in case of an emergency (our birthing center is in the hospital). And I am so glad I did. I loved my experience. I went “all natural” and it was not nearly as painful as I was afraid it would be. And I got to pul my daughter out too. THAT was cool!!! And yes I held her all goopy and gross – except she did not seem gross to me. And my four year old was allowed to be there and to watch and get right in the bed with us after and snuggle with mommy and his new sister. It is not for everyone and I get that I just loved my experience. I feel a blog post coming on. 🙂

Emmy says:

I went into it with the feeling, I will try and do it natural but I had no hesitation about getting some meds if I needed it.
Well 18 hours of labor, 4 of which I literally spent pushing, ALL natural no pain killers and they ended up having to do a c-section.
In my child-birth class I took before I had my son, we did this activity were you picked several cards with your ideal birth situation (no meds, quick delivery, etc.). The nurse then read through a little scenario and you had to put a card back, then something else went wrong and you had to put another card back.. in the end you had to put all of your ideal birth cards back and you had the one mystery card left. At that point you were able to turn it over and it said “a healthy baby”. So the point is, have a plan decide what you want but be ready and willing to accept whatever ends up happening.

As long as you have a healthy baby in the end, that is what matters.

Samaria says:

This sounds silly but I can honestly tell you I do not remember what labor feels like until I have it again. That pain goes away instantly once you see your baby. I thought it wasn’t true but it really truly is. I’m 34 weeks now and I’ll be experiencing labor again possibly, and while it’s painful I know soon as it’s over I won’t remember. And I said I couldn’t do it either while in labor. I said this toward the end, I had a doula and it was great. She was there to remind me when I said I couldn’t do it that I WAS doing it! lol.

Mama Notes says:

I had a natural childbirth and it was amazing. The moment I saw my baby for the first time was the best thing in the world! It was hard, yes, but if you allow yourself, your body can do amazing things. And your mind, our bodies are meant to deliver babies! I cant’ wait for my next birth!! 🙂

Oh my gosh – kitty surprise! I wanted one of those SO BAD!

I think being that I’ve always been a “as soon as it starts hurting take medicine” kinda girl I’ve always thought I’d just get meds when I’m in labor. I don’t think I’ve ever considered natural childbirth.

Emily says:

To me, the risks of epidural are too great to avoid pain. You should research the risks of epidural, and I think if you do, you would not risk it either. Sometimes labor hurts, but it doesn’t last that long, and the recovery is *instant.* The trouble with epidurals is they interfere with the normal hormone exchange, which can make your labor excruciatingly painful if it doesn’t “take,” and makes the recovery much harder.

Plus when they do an epidural, they also have to do an IV, an internal monitor (which gets screwed into your baby’s head), and a urethral catheter, all of which also come with their own risks. Besides, do you really want to give morphine to your newborn baby?

Labor really isn’t as bad as they make it out to be on those TV shows. As long as you have the freedom to move around, and people around you who love and support you, you can get through it no problem.

Holly Noelle says:

I had a doula for my birth and she was invaluable. I’ve written about birth a lot on my blog. But if I could only give one piece of advice it would be to read Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth! That book is solely responsible for getting me over my fear of giving birth.

keyalus says:

I’m approaching 28 weeks with my first and am hoping to have a natural childbirth experience (probably with a midwife) in a hospital. I haven’t seen the BBB movie, but reading books such as “Pushed” by Jennifer Block and even non-biased resources have changed my mind about medicated birth.

Drugs require supportive interventions and then these interventions can lead to more interventions. I don’t want to end up with a C-Section. I want to feel the urge to push my baby out. I want to be able to move into different positions. I want to be completely alert when my baby appears. I want my baby to be completely alert when he is born.

I know it will hurt and I don’t have a particularly high pain tolerance. But hey, I ran a marathon and I never ever thought I could do that either! That is proof to me that my body can handle a lot if I put my mind to it.

Melissa says:

For me, my first delivery ended in an emergency c-section, so boy was I ever glad I had gotten an epidural. The needle in the back thing really didn’t hurt. I, too, am jealous of the baby being placed on you right after birth…both my babies had to go to the NICU for different problems (phneumonia, my second baby was born not breathing b/c she got stuck). I have friends who have gone natural, and loved it. Personally, I wouldn’t have a baby anywhere but a hospital because my babies always tend to have ’emergencies.’ If I would have tried to have my babies at home, neither them nor I would have made it, and that wasn’t because of conditions we knew about going into the delivery. It’s such a personal choice! You will know what is best for you, good luck, and way to research-I’m impressed!

WOW. Natural… no I am a BIG BIG baby when it comes to pain, I HATE HATE HATE needles but the epidural is behind you, and if I don’t have to see it, then give it to me! My labor wasn’t painful until my water popped, and I know lots of people who didn’t pop, their water had to be popped for them… so maybe they have it easier.

However, sign me up for an epidural!!! but not too soon to slow labor, and not too late because I am sure I will flip if I was told it’s too late for an epidural. Besides epidural I want everything else natural, I don’t want to be cut, I don’t want my child or parts being tugged on to come out by hands or vacuums or anything… the body is meant to do this, so it will all be fine naturally. (besides the pain!)

My sister had puppy surpise. It always creeped me out to see the mom without her puppies and her tummy open…

I think it’s great you’re doing so much research. If you’re this prepared for birth, imagine how wonderful you’ll be as a mom!

Jen- you have me rolling with this post!

First of all, I totally fogot about Kitty Surpise. Thank you for “brining it back” for fellow late 80s/early 90s children like myself.

About the watching live bith: never have had the “pleasure,” but did see “The Miracle of Life” in high school. Although I could hardly see a thing, no offense to the lady, but she had not um *groomed* down there in quite a while, and so not much was visible. Sorry for being gross!

You will be great. And over informed people are smart, as I will be like that too, and am with almost anything now days anyway : )

Heather says:

Alright, I’m a pretty level headed girl so I’m going to give you a level headed response.

First – that baby will determine what your birth plan is, and all you are going to care about it delivering a healthy baby…and quickly.

My mom had two of us naturally, one with an epidural so with Brooklyn I was all, “If my mom can do it, I can do it.” Natural birth here I come. Took the classes, mentally psyched myself up as much as I could – Bring it on.

I was in a hospital because personally I feel like I want to be surrounded by the best possible care if something were to go horribly wrong. Not to mention I loved my doctor (Renaissance Women’s group here in ATX) and I could’ve given birth anywhere at that point – just get her out! 🙂

In the end, 9 hours into it I got an epidural. I wasn’t dilating quickly and no matter how long I tried to maintain it was f***ing horrible. They gave me the max amount of pitosin and 10 hours later (19 total) Brooklyn was born.

In that moment you are just ready, all the planning, prepping, thinking, planning more goes away. So my advice, educate for sure, but don’t overthink it. (Sorry for the long comment but it’s a great topic!)

Girl, you crack me up! You’re crazy though for loving the whole birthing part. Yes…I’m dreading it. I can’t believe you watched a birthing video. Toooo funny! Seriously. I made the mistake of watching a woman getting an epidural and thought that was bad enough. I’m the one that chose to watch it, yet I started covering my eyes! But, I’m def getting the drugs! I think my husband will also appreciate it 🙂 haha

Tracey says:

Wait…where do I get one of those cats?

dixie says:

I’ve never been preggers but I’ve already decided to go au natural, not so much because of what I want out of birth but what I don’t want.

I don’t want an epidural.
I don’t want to be induced.
I don’t want a c-section.
I don’t want an episiotemy.
I don’t want a monitor.
I don’t want to be sitting in a position that’s more comfortable for a doc than for me.

I don’t want to be induced because you have to be on a monitor and you’re more likely to have a c-cection. I’m much less worried about natural tears healing than a doc cutting me. If I had an epidural I wouldn’t be able to feel if I was tearing. Basically, I want to be in control and able to be in a position that’s best for me (maybe water birth?) with the least time to heal and I don’t want a major surgery and not be able to eat before hand.

I’m also thinking home birth with a midwife, someone who’s there to help me in whatever way is best for me, in my own comfortable space so all I have to worry about is doing my job of getting that baby out safe and sound! Also, I want my kid given to me immediately, no waiting 2-5 min to get weighed and apgar tested, I want that kid now!

I can handle pain more than I can being out of control or not feeling what’s going on at all. The more I learned about how birth happens the less intervention I wanted. Besides, who made epidural anyway? Male doctors who thought we ladies couldn’t handle the pain. We were made for this stuff. We can totally do it!

But that’s just my personal preference. My boyfriend’s sister works in the NICU and had two c-sections and probably thinks home birth is a little nuts.

Anonymous says:

Hey there! I love my baby so much, and once you have yours you will too. She is beautiful and a wonderful addition to my life so get excited for the start of yours. I just entered her into this contest and I truly hope she wins, it would be incredibly exciting! If you or anyone think you’re baby could win you should maybe enter too, you never know 🙂

http://www.kost1035.com/pages/babycontest/?_show

Mommy Bee says:

The mind has a remarkable power over the body. I had a late-term miscarriage that involved basically a mini-labor (I partially dilated etc). I was in terrible pain and the whole thing was a horrible experience. I had a lot of concerns about whether my actual full-term birth would be like that (in spite of my plans for an unmedicated delivery). I decided to learn about as many coping methods as I could–sometimes what works great for Jane doesn’t do a thing for Mary, you know? (My sister took a hypno-class, practiced religiously, and said birth was the most horribly painful thing she ever did.) I NEVER subscribed to the “pain free” idea, but i never called it pain either. I spent my entire pregnancy with the mindset of labor as WORK. You know, like running a marathon. It’s work, and it’s hard work. And yeah, muscles get tired and sore and you get worn out, but it has a purpose, and it does not last forever. If you’ve read my birth story on my blog (archives Jan 07) you’ll see that by the end of labor I was exhausted and sore and very ready to be done, and I ached and just wanted to go to sleep…but there was only one brief period (less than a minute–as my kiddos enormous head actually came out) when I actually had the thought that it was PAIN. Does that make sense? I had totally psyched myself up for working hard, so it was more like a trip to the gym than to a torture chamber.

Epidurals have pros and cons–I collected some research and also did an informal poll on my blog about them, and wrote it all up last fall I think? I think there is a time and a place for epidurals, but they do have negatives (some women are more effected than others), and I think that it’s not a good idea to use them routinely. Also, even for the woman who plans on having an epidural, sometimes it doesn’t work properly, or sometimes she’s progressed too far to get one…in either case, there are a fair number of women who thought they had their labor plan in the bag, and when they got down to it they felt everything and had no alternate plans for how to work through labor. So I think a certain amount of prep for natural delivery is very smart, even if you think you want an epidural.

I watched the births of 4 of my younger siblings. My oldest son was 6.5 and was present when the second was born–he got to cut the cord! (Daddy didn’t need to cut the cord–daddy caught the baby!) They will be 9 and nearly 3 when this next baby is born–the older one I’ve already asked and he says he’d like to be there, so I figure they will both be present. I think it’s healthy to be part of it (if they want to), because it’s a family event, you know? We are adding a member to the family–why shouldn’t the family be there? Prior to them being there, we read books, look at pictures (including show-all photos), and watch birth films. I explain that mommy will be working really hard, and may make funny noises or holler a bit because of the hardness of the work. I explain about the uterus squeezing and pushing the baby down, about the baby gate (cervix) that held the baby in but now has to open so the baby can get out, and about how the baby squishes down the birth canal (no, I do not teach my kids the word vagina, LOL!). They find these things fascinating, and frankly why wouldn’t they? Like I said, after attending one birth, my older son wants to come to this one too. I think with some good preparation, most kids would relish the opportunity.

Anonymous says:

Really I just want a hospital birth. I am too worried about something going wrong if I was at home or even in a birth centre (I don’t think those exist where I live anyway). Sure, home births are safe if there are no complications — bu you can’t be sure of that in advance.

Yaya says:

I do not do good with pain, at all.

The one misconception of labor is that it is so painful no one can stand it. There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain goes away. Suffering doesn’t. It isn’t like breaking your leg. You have a contraction, then the pain is gone.

If you educate yourself and prepare yourself for your delivery, it might be painful, but with every contraction, you are that much closer to seeing your baby! And it is one of the greatest experiences of your life (or so I’m told. I didn’t get to experience it, and I so desperately wanted to).

Bottom line is to prepare yourself. Don’t compare labor to any of your other pain experiences. A headache is in your head. It has no purpose. Labor is there to deliver your baby. If you weren’t supposed to feel pain, God would have made epidurals for Adam and Eve.

Yakini says:

Like i said, DH rented this for us while i was preggers. lol. I had NO interest in a natural birth, and i think he figured the documentary would change my mind. Not a chance. I found it biased and very negative toward hospitals. However, like you, i did love the idea of a water birth and the baby transitioning from the warm, cozy, fluid filled womb straight into the water. BUT in order to have a water birth, it’s gotta be natural (no epidural) and that wasnt gonna work for me. But i think its so cool, women who do that. I just needed the reassurance of being IN the hospital, just in case there should be some emergency of sorts.

Samantha says:

I had one unmedicated hospital birth on my back, one epidural hospital birth on my back and one unassisted home water birth in a squat position in a birth pool in my dining room. I would never birth in a hospital again. I will always choose to birth at home in water. The water relieved my pain just as much as the epidural but without the side effects and lowered mobility. I will advocate for water birth for the rest of my life. You should watch some water birth videos on youtube.com, there are some great ones on there.

Jennifer says:

I birthed both my girls in the hospital because I was induced. But I had planned on it anyway because of the emergency factor, and to give myself the option of the epidural…And I took it! I was given pitocin for the induction which makes things a lot more painful more quickly. I always wonder if I could have gone without had it not been for the pitocin. I waited as long as I could both times, and one thing is for sure…you will know when you need it!

Rete says:

I was all set to labor naturally but I panicked in the end. We were so excited to have our baby girl we allowed ourselves to be talked into an enducement even tho I wasn’t overdue yet, and due to pitocin complications, ended up having a c-section. So I did have an epidural (several, since the first 3 didn’t take) and a spinal for the procedure.

I’m looking forward to having a 2nd and hopefully will be confident in the choices I have already made and won’t let myself be talked into something just for convenience sake.

FranticMommy says:

I guess you could say I “cheated” a bit with both my kids. The first was a 27 day gestation and the easiet labor ever (thank YOU adoption). The second child I “cooked” myself, but had an emergency C-section. No labor pains here!

I just don’t think I could handle the pain to be “all natural”!

Mallory says:

I gave birth all natural in a hospital. It was great, but not great enough. I NEED to have a home birth. I really want to have an unassisted homebirth. My body craves solitude (or at least extreme privacy) in labor. But, I understand why you think labor is the best part! I totally agree! I LOVE labor. It is so exciting.

I really enjoyed your post. I always wanted to do a water birth, but hubby was not having it. I did give birth in the hospital and it wasn’t as bad as people thought. I was in labor for a short time (maybe 4 hours) I didn’t even know I was in labor. Then I didn’t have any pain and yes I gave birth naturally with no epi. I don’t think I have a high tolerance for pain, but one thing I did that I felt helped was make up in my mind how I want my experience and I stopped watching all those baby shows as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I even declined to listen to woman’s story that had painfully, long birth. The most important thing that helped me through this was God. Don’t mean to be spiritual, but I really felt that with out him I would have been in lots of pain. I tell every one, I felt like I had the birth that God wanted us woman to have.

Oh I too thought the Business of Being Born was quite bias as well. Yes I was hooked up to monitors, but I was able to sit in a rocking chair (which I loved) through my contractions, then move back to the bed. I didn’t have my exercise ball with me as I didn’t think I was going into labor, but I’m pretty sure they would have allowed me to be on that as well. I guess it depends on your hospital and your doctor.

Diane says:

talk about unique! a parenting blog whose author is not (yet) a parent!

i’m gonna hang out and see what this is all about!

aditi says:

Hey!

I am not married yet, but SO looking forward to the whole experience, mainly for the parenting. I love your idea of a Birthing centre… I myself have so many questions! well I shall jus sit around and educate myself!

Kris says:

Thank you so much for the prayers!! I have updated the post….and THANK YOU once again…

Mighty M says:

Thanks for coming by! What a great blog you have here!! Both my daughter and son were delivered by c-section. Would have preferred a more natural birth with my daughter, but I was all ready for the section the second time around.

Vicki says:

I wanted to go completely natural and read a wonderful book (juju sudins birth skills) which really helped me…however, when it came to the big day I had to be induced because of complications and did need an epidural. I don’t regret any of it…I feel that I had a really good experience and am so pleased I had read so many labour stories (I was prepared for pretty much anything.
I think the most important thing to do is go in with an open mind, you cannot know what will happen and if you have unrealistic expectations you’re likely to be dissapointed.
I just figured it has to come out one way or another…it probably will hurt but I’ll deal with it. Pain is so quickly forgotten, I found (prior to giving birth) that when I tried to remember an occasion when I was in pain, I found it very difficult to actually remember the sensation of that pain. I know I was in pain during labour, but I can’t really remember that feeling now. Not sure if that makes sense!
I think planning and research are essential but so is having an open mind.

Robbie says:

Hey Girly! I love your new pic.

Kiki says:

WOE! hahaha That was a doozy of a blog! I think… you think too much! lol. My plan is to have a natural birth in the water at home. I’m so excited about it! I’m a water person. Everything about the water sooths me so it only seemed the natural way to go for me. The warmth of the water eases the pain, and the buoyancy of the water lifts the baby and the uterus up so all the pressure is off the pelvic area. Labor is sped up and pain is reduced.

Only last night I got a call from my midwife telling me that I have a low lying placenta and if it doesn’t move I can’t have a natural birth! Bullocks! Well what are ya gonna do right? Just roll with the punches and listen to your body.

You’ll know what to do when the time comes. You may even surprise yourself. As soon as you find out your going to have a child there are a lot of things you’ll suddenly be changing your mind on out of the blue.

tuntot says:

I love you blog-I am so happy I found it!!! I have recently started blogging-and am in the same place as you-although I am starting to try for a baby, I keep changing my mind!- check out my blog on: http://www.tuntot.wordpress.com

luke & sammy says:

I agree with Emmy, a healthy baby is all that matters in the end. I think it is good to have a plan of what you would want but also be flexible because there are a whole lot of things that could change your plan. I also think that is why is is safer to have a doctor around, with having not so happy endings in my family with births, to me it was a must that I was somewhere that could take care of me if there was an emergency. I ended up with a c-section after 20 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, and there is just no way my baby could come out, so I was very grateful for a c-section!! Definitely not what I had planned but it didn’t matter once I was holding my sweet baby boy!

Tamara says:

For me, I want to have home water births. I may at the last minute change my mind due to intuition, medical issues or whatever, but thas what I plan on now. I cant really imagine going to the hospital unless medically necessary. Ive watched The Business of Born as well and i loved it but even before I watched it, I knew I wanted to homebirth. Hubby is down for it and has already told his family (he’s a lil too excited about it lol).

Im all for a woman’s right to choose. So far, a woman has the right to choose the hospital but no so much right in choosing homebirth (read: in many states, homebirth midwives are illegal and unless you are up for an unassisted childbirth, your next/only option is gonna be a trip to the hossy lol) and thus the debate. Im not and have never really been interested in trying to convince a woman to have a homebirth or birth in a free-standing birth center, i’d just like them to know that they do have choices and can fight to have their choices kept.

Im pretty much the only person I know IRL that wants to homebirth so it should be interesting when that fateful time should arrive how people react, lol.

Lyndsey says:

Wow, what a post! I find it so hard to have an unbiased viewpoint now that I’ve gone through my son’s birth, so please excuse me if I get too high on my soap box. 🙂

I wanted a natural delivery for my son right from the beginning. We planned to move to Puerto Rico in my 6th month and have a homebirth with a local midwife, so we just went to the closest obgyn. When I hit my 6th month, we realized we weren’t going to move, and I started asking my doctors questions…it turned out that although they were “supportive” of my natural birth endeavor, they weren’t going to go out of their way to help me achieve it. We couldn’t find a homebirth midwife who was available, so we were lucky enough to get a spot at the local birth center with a group of AWESOME midwives when I was 32 weeks along. I planned to deliver in the Jacuzzi.

I went into labor with a really sharp contraction (that I still remember) at 7am on Dec. 26th after (wouldn’t it be my luck!!!) staying up all night the night before. While my hubby slept, I labored on the birth ball until 11am. I napped for an hour or so before waking up to even harder contractions…about 10min. apart. We went walking around and the contractions stayed the same (but hard enough that I had to breathe through them) until midnight. By 4am Dec. 27th we had gone to the birth center, and I was at 1cm!!!!! I labored all night with intense ctx that were only 4 min. apart. In the morning I was still only 1cm, so they had me climb stairs for an hour to try and drop the baby lower. No such luck, so I was sent home to try and relax. At 11am, my water broke. After that, my ctx became much stronger, but very irregular. My entire labor was back labor, and I was just exhausted, so at this point I pretty much broke down. When we called the midwives at 6pm, I was a mess…I just wanted this baby OUT! At 8pm, we were back at the birth center, and I was 3cm dilated. We were transported to the affiliated hospital for pitocin augmentation. I had this huge threat of a c-section looming over my head, so I really got down to business I guess 🙂 I labored to 6cm before I was screaming for drugs. They moved me to the shower (no bathtub at the hospital), and we requested that the pitocin be turned off. The shower felt GREAT! But getting out was like H***, so the midwives left me and my hubby alone to regroup. My hubby coached me back down, and I relaxed as we had been taught in our Bradley classes. I can’t say the pain went away, but I honestly think of those three remaining hours as the easiest part of my whole labor…it was just me and my hubby…the lights were dim, I was relaxed, he was as close to me as I think it’s possible for a husband to be when a woman is laboring. I started pushing without the midwife because it felt so GOOD and was such an overwhelming urge! My midwife came in, and let me continue pushing…a few minutes later, my son was born and IMMEDIATELY put on my chest. What I remember most about that moment is that I just instinctively wanted to hold him close to me…I remember his big beautiful eyes that were SO alert…and how HEAVEY he felt! He was born at 4:53 am on Dec. 28th (8 hours after we arrived at the hospital) after over 45 hours of HARD labor.

After having gone through that, I am so thankful that I did not give in to the epidural. I think it really has empowered me more than anything else I’ve ever done with my life. In bringing my son into this world, I found out how strong I am. I think because of this, I never once doubted my instincts as a mother…I have been empowered by my birth to think of myself as more than just a woman or a mother.

For my next child, my husband and I plan to birth at home…in the water. (I strongly suggest the water as it’s just the best at dulling down the pain). We plan on basically having an unassisted childbirth (UC). I want a doula as well…I would have LOVED to have had someone who had been through birth and could help suggest pain coping techniques.

Reiza says:

I had one planned hospital birth. One planned homebirth that transfered to the hospital (it was very relaxed & we were never in danger. It was NOT scary and hurried like you might worry about) and my daughter was born at home 2 months ago.

After the second birth, we decided that if we didn’t have an option of a homebirth, we wouldn’t have another baby. It’s a world of difference & I absolutely refused to be in a hospital again.

Birthing at home was a whole different world. And yeah, with both of the home labors, I really wanted an epidural, but I worked through it. And yes, when you’re in transition, you absolutely think, “I can’t do this,” but that passes very quickly. For me, it wasn’t a pain thing so much as a panic thing.

My niece swears she felt no pain in labor. I did and yeah, it sucked, but it’s nothing I couldn’t work thorugh.

A birthing center might be a good bet for you. I definitely suggest midwives, though. Midwifery care makes all the difference in the world. It can prevent so many problems and the care you get is very different–more focused on YOU and your family rather than just focused on what the OB tells you to do. Most birthing centers are staffed by midwives.

I really enjoyed this post and the comments. I had my first baby in the hospital. I was induced right on my due date, had the epidural, an episiotomy came as well. Everything went as well as it possibly could have. I had a great experience and wouldn’t change it if I could.

That said, I have learned a lot from that experience and the more I learn about birth, the more interested I am in experiencing different aspects of it. I enjoyed a pain free birth, but I was pregnant at the same time as 3 of my coworkers. I was the ONLY person of all four of us who didn’t have a complication with an epidural. That scared me a bit and for baby #2, I am going natural. I have learned SOOOOO much since then and I am not afraid of the pain. I would highly recommend reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. There are so many wonderful birth stories in her book that really encourage and uplift women. They do talk realistically about the pain, but when you read it you also realize that it’s an empowering pain. It’s pain with a purpose, and a wonderful purpose.

I have debated this issue quite a bit. I have a whole post on this very topic. I work in the medical field and have never been wary of medical interventions or medicine in general. I know that there is extensive research done before medications are used on humans. It was quite an eye opener to personally know several people who had major complications with epidurals. I don’t want my spinal fluid to leak! I would rather take the labor pain than permanent back pain or paralyzation.

Bottom line: Way to go for researching your choices! Informed women make informed choices. Uninformed women let doctors choose for them.

Megan says:

It’s so funny that women love to share their birth stories. And it is so good that you are doing your research. I didn’t really think much of the birth other than the fact that it was inevitable and that 99% of women having babies in Utah County get epidurals in the hospital. I thought I would just go with the flow. No birthing classes, no books..only a little input from my dr at the usual appointments. I wished I had learned a little more because once my water broke and I did go into labor I was completely unprepared. I went to the hospital in obvious labor and they took my blood for the usual tests. Some of the components of my blood came back abnormally low (and dropping after repeated tests) and so I was unable to get any pain medication for a number of reasons. Once I got over the initial shock of being forced to have an unmedicated birth, my doctor (who acted more like a midwife) and two nurses helped me through the entire labor and delivery. It hurt and I wanted to quit at times, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. When it was over, I felt like the queen of the world. Seriously, it was awesome. Because I was so unprepared and uneducated, I allowed an episiotomy and that was for sure the worst part…(remember no pain meds). From what I learned from my first birth and what I have read since, I will go with a birthing center next time. My OBGYN was awesome, but I bet I could find an equally as supportive midwife. I never thought I would be an all natural kind of girl, but after being forced into it, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Fear of the pain is far worse than the pain itself!
My first birth was 36 hours, flat on my back in the hospital, with an epi and pitocin for the last 4 hours of it. It was the worst of my 3 birth experiences.
My 2nd (4 hours) I stayed home as long as possible, up and moving about. (playing ball with our 1st daughter) It was totally natural and we actually almost didn’t get to the hospital in time. Much less pain/fear and the worst part was having to stay in the hospital after the birth. I felt amazing!
My 3rd (12 hours) was the most awesome birth experience. It was a natural home/water birth and I was actually excited and looking forward to the birth process. Water is FANTASTIC! Knowing what I know now, I would not give birth without it. My husband delivered our daughter and found that to be a wonderful experience for him as well. Our 2 older daughters (2 and 5) were there during the labor/birthing process, by choice. They were free to come and go as they wanted. It was great to be in the comfort of home and sleep in my own bed and not have nurses poke us and wake us constantly.
IMO, the best of the best “care” is delivered by a midwife. It is a misconception that if “something goes wrong” a homebirth or birth center is not prepared to deal with it as well or as quickly as a hospital could. As much as I believe in natural birth, keep in mind that many midwives can offer pain control other than epidurals. If you really feel you can’t stand it, there are options and you are not completely stuck! Many times just knowing you have options, relieves some of the anxiety.
Good Luck in your journey!

Elita says:

I didn’t scream or cry or say “I can’t do this!” in labor. Yes, it hurt. The last 2 hours were gut wrenching. I got through it because I used my breathing and concentrated at the task at hand. Mantras helped. “There is no contraction stronger than I am. Every contraction is bringing me closer to holding my baby.” Your body was built to have a child and there are so many reasons why natural childbirth is better for both mom and baby. It seems you’re doing your homework. You can have the birth you want in a hospital but it is a lot more work and you’ll probably have to fight with your doctor/nurses. If you go with a midwife you know the person is already on the same page as you, and the hospital is always there as a back-up plan if things go awry.

Jennifer says:

Kitty surprise..how funny. I have never heard of that toy before. I have never been pregnant so I can’t offer any help or advice. I was never concerned if we did have kids with the mess of it all or even the pain. That type of stuff has never bothered me and I handle pain very well.

I did however used to be needlessly and overly concerned with what my husband would think. Then we moved to the farm and we have both attended close to a hundred animal births. Not that I am comparing that to people, not at all; but it did let me know that my husband wasn’t the slightest bit freaked out over some fluids and the other natural things that happen during birth. I would not feel uncomfortable with him being there now, in fact I would insist that he be there with me if we ever do have children.

Nichole says:

I must be too old for kitty surprise. . . Sad! Anyway, watch for my post about this topic. I’m ready now to open this chapter and need all the help I can get. . . For serious!

Nichole says:

I wasn’t kidding about the “all the help I can get” thing. I just went back through and read all the comments. Putting my name on here again for your button!

Morgan says:

With my first baby, I was induced and labored 14 very painful hours before ending up with a c-section.

The next 3 babies were all born via c-section, so I was able to skip the labor part. : )

There are photos of my 4th. baby’s birth as well as a walk-through on what it’s like to have a c-section here: http://adventuresindiapering.blogspot.com/2009/06/in-photos-what-to-expect-during-c.html.

Nothing too scary on there (my blog is a pretty positive and encouraging place).

I remember having Puppy Surprise when I was little! My dog loving children would LOVE a toy like that, I wish I had kept mine. 🙁

Marly says:

Its funny you say you never knew where the baby comes out of. When I had my 3rd, I asked my oldest where he thought she would come out of. He said “that hole down there” Yep, my kids know all about that kind of stuff 🙂

I’ve had each of my first 3 in different places. I cry every time I watch my first’s birth. I don’t bond well with babies and I did have him in the hospital in a squatting position (one of the positives about laboring without an epidural is you get to be in different positions to manage the pain), he came right up to my chest and then they whisked him off to do all the dumb stuff they think they need to do while I delivered the placenta by myself and got all checked out. It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had.

My second was born in a birth center. Better, but still not the best. I had him on my hands and knees and then held him right away. I got to hold him until I felt like getting in the shower and then the midwife did all that measuring and what not while I was in the shower. I went home 3 hours later and didn’t have nurses telling me what I was doing wrong or waking me up every 2 hours.

My third was born at home and by far the best birth I’ve had so far. I had her in a tub on my knees. My midwife talked me through the crowning so I didn’t experience the ring of fire, like I did the first 2 times. The after pain wasn’t nearly like it was with the first two, although your guess is right, for me I didn’t feel pain after because I just stared at the baby. I got in my own bed, covered in chux pads, and I stare at her for however long I wanted to. No one pressured me to do anything. She didn’t scream but she was alert, which is ok. Your baby doesn’t have to scream after coming out. My midwife did her thing, cleaned up while my husband and I went to sleep and left. We didn’t even know she had left. She came the next day to check on us. it was wonderful! I barely tore with her and I just stayed in bed to let it heal on its own. No stitches!

She was my first baby I loved the moment I held her. The other two took a long time for me to bond with because there were so many distractions.

I took the Bradley class with the first 2 and it really helps to teach you and your husband. It makes you more confident. I used the same method the third time, I just didn’t feel the need to take the class again. I also had a doula the third time around which my husband loved! She was able to help him with a lot of the things.

Being in the water really is a drug for me. Labor in and out of the water are two completely different experiences. Its also different if your body just labors and you aren’t induced. Then there’s the fact that you can labor in an position comfortable and not flat on your back, which is just ridiculous!

If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask. I love talking about this stuff and I am planning this fourth at home.

Angela says:

OMG I could go on for days about labor. You gotta remember that each labor is different. Some are fast, some are slow. Sometimes you get an epidural, sometimes not. If you both survive, than it was successful either way.

I’ve been meaning to post about labor on my blog but I don’t want to freak people out. I’ve had two babies and holy crap! It’s not easy. Or it least it wasn’t for me. I pushed (JUST THE PUSHING PART) for 4 hours with my first (okay 3 hrs 57 minutes, but I reserve the right to round up!). It was pure hell and I was so out of energy by the time it ended. And it was painful. I got an epi with him and so glad I did.

With my daughter…no epi and let’s just say the song “ring of fire” has a whole new meaning for me.

But then again, my sister had a baby in less than 20 minutes, no epidural, and said “it wasn’t that bad”. I visited her 2 weeks later and her tummy was entirely flat and tan. I wanted to barf. My stomach is like freddy kruegers revenge.

My good friend had her baby at a parade. She didn’t even get her pants off, the baby just came out and was inside her pants. Police arrived on the scene but she was already done. She had stretch pants on. So it can happen all kinds of ways.

But I’ll be wishing you a smooth, quick labor. Oh yeah, thanks for stopping by my blog today> 🙂

Amanda says:

I love this blog! Your posts are amazing and I also love reading all the comments people post. It’s amazing!! Thanks!

Marly says:

Its funny you say you never knew where the baby comes out of. When I had my 3rd, I asked my oldest where he thought she would come out of. He said “that hole down there” Yep, my kids know all about that kind of stuff 🙂

I’ve had each of my first 3 in different places. I cry every time I watch my first’s birth. I don’t bond well with babies and I did have him in the hospital in a squatting position (one of the positives about laboring without an epidural is you get to be in different positions to manage the pain), he came right up to my chest and then they whisked him off to do all the dumb stuff they think they need to do while I delivered the placenta by myself and got all checked out. It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had.

My second was born in a birth center. Better, but still not the best. I had him on my hands and knees and then held him right away. I got to hold him until I felt like getting in the shower and then the midwife did all that measuring and what not while I was in the shower. I went home 3 hours later and didn’t have nurses telling me what I was doing wrong or waking me up every 2 hours.

My third was born at home and by far the best birth I’ve had so far. I had her in a tub on my knees. My midwife talked me through the crowning so I didn’t experience the ring of fire, like I did the first 2 times. The after pain wasn’t nearly like it was with the first two, although your guess is right, for me I didn’t feel pain after because I just stared at the baby. I got in my own bed, covered in chux pads, and I stare at her for however long I wanted to. No one pressured me to do anything. She didn’t scream but she was alert, which is ok. Your baby doesn’t have to scream after coming out. My midwife did her thing, cleaned up while my husband and I went to sleep and left. We didn’t even know she had left. She came the next day to check on us. it was wonderful! I barely tore with her and I just stayed in bed to let it heal on its own. No stitches!

She was my first baby I loved the moment I held her. The other two took a long time for me to bond with because there were so many distractions.

I took the Bradley class with the first 2 and it really helps to teach you and your husband. It makes you more confident. I used the same method the third time, I just didn’t feel the need to take the class again. I also had a doula the third time around which my husband loved! She was able to help him with a lot of the things.

Being in the water really is a drug for me. Labor in and out of the water are two completely different experiences. Its also different if your body just labors and you aren’t induced. Then there’s the fact that you can labor in an position comfortable and not flat on your back, which is just ridiculous!

If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask. I love talking about this stuff and I am planning this fourth at home.

Fear of the pain is far worse than the pain itself!
My first birth was 36 hours, flat on my back in the hospital, with an epi and pitocin for the last 4 hours of it. It was the worst of my 3 birth experiences.
My 2nd (4 hours) I stayed home as long as possible, up and moving about. (playing ball with our 1st daughter) It was totally natural and we actually almost didn’t get to the hospital in time. Much less pain/fear and the worst part was having to stay in the hospital after the birth. I felt amazing!
My 3rd (12 hours) was the most awesome birth experience. It was a natural home/water birth and I was actually excited and looking forward to the birth process. Water is FANTASTIC! Knowing what I know now, I would not give birth without it. My husband delivered our daughter and found that to be a wonderful experience for him as well. Our 2 older daughters (2 and 5) were there during the labor/birthing process, by choice. They were free to come and go as they wanted. It was great to be in the comfort of home and sleep in my own bed and not have nurses poke us and wake us constantly.
IMO, the best of the best “care” is delivered by a midwife. It is a misconception that if “something goes wrong” a homebirth or birth center is not prepared to deal with it as well or as quickly as a hospital could. As much as I believe in natural birth, keep in mind that many midwives can offer pain control other than epidurals. If you really feel you can’t stand it, there are options and you are not completely stuck! Many times just knowing you have options, relieves some of the anxiety.
Good Luck in your journey!

Reiza says:

I had one planned hospital birth. One planned homebirth that transfered to the hospital (it was very relaxed & we were never in danger. It was NOT scary and hurried like you might worry about) and my daughter was born at home 2 months ago.

After the second birth, we decided that if we didn’t have an option of a homebirth, we wouldn’t have another baby. It’s a world of difference & I absolutely refused to be in a hospital again.

Birthing at home was a whole different world. And yeah, with both of the home labors, I really wanted an epidural, but I worked through it. And yes, when you’re in transition, you absolutely think, “I can’t do this,” but that passes very quickly. For me, it wasn’t a pain thing so much as a panic thing.

My niece swears she felt no pain in labor. I did and yeah, it sucked, but it’s nothing I couldn’t work thorugh.

A birthing center might be a good bet for you. I definitely suggest midwives, though. Midwifery care makes all the difference in the world. It can prevent so many problems and the care you get is very different–more focused on YOU and your family rather than just focused on what the OB tells you to do. Most birthing centers are staffed by midwives.

Megan says:

It’s so funny that women love to share their birth stories. And it is so good that you are doing your research. I didn’t really think much of the birth other than the fact that it was inevitable and that 99% of women having babies in Utah County get epidurals in the hospital. I thought I would just go with the flow. No birthing classes, no books..only a little input from my dr at the usual appointments. I wished I had learned a little more because once my water broke and I did go into labor I was completely unprepared. I went to the hospital in obvious labor and they took my blood for the usual tests. Some of the components of my blood came back abnormally low (and dropping after repeated tests) and so I was unable to get any pain medication for a number of reasons. Once I got over the initial shock of being forced to have an unmedicated birth, my doctor (who acted more like a midwife) and two nurses helped me through the entire labor and delivery. It hurt and I wanted to quit at times, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. When it was over, I felt like the queen of the world. Seriously, it was awesome. Because I was so unprepared and uneducated, I allowed an episiotomy and that was for sure the worst part…(remember no pain meds). From what I learned from my first birth and what I have read since, I will go with a birthing center next time. My OBGYN was awesome, but I bet I could find an equally as supportive midwife. I never thought I would be an all natural kind of girl, but after being forced into it, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Anonymous says:

Really I just want a hospital birth. I am too worried about something going wrong if I was at home or even in a birth centre (I don’t think those exist where I live anyway). Sure, home births are safe if there are no complications — bu you can’t be sure of that in advance.

The one misconception of labor is that it is so painful no one can stand it. There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain goes away. Suffering doesn’t. It isn’t like breaking your leg. You have a contraction, then the pain is gone.

If you educate yourself and prepare yourself for your delivery, it might be painful, but with every contraction, you are that much closer to seeing your baby! And it is one of the greatest experiences of your life (or so I’m told. I didn’t get to experience it, and I so desperately wanted to).

Bottom line is to prepare yourself. Don’t compare labor to any of your other pain experiences. A headache is in your head. It has no purpose. Labor is there to deliver your baby. If you weren’t supposed to feel pain, God would have made epidurals for Adam and Eve.

Ashley says:

I love that photo of the dog and baby pups….hilarious.

I was terrified of labor. The day I found out I was pregnant I was overjoyed and THEN I was hysterical when I realized that the baby had to eventually come out somehow! I told my doctor I didn’t even want to go into labor. I had enough anxiety just going to the OBGYN! I was always having mini panic attacks on the table and sweating cocoa butter goo everywhere. I wonder if I could be diagnosed with “fear of ANY vagina pain.”

Sooo….My doctor scheduled a c-section for me. It was SUPER easy for me. Didn’t feel a thing. I think the birth experience is different for everyone. I had too much anxiety about the birth and once I scheduled the c-section I was able to enjoy being pregnant. I tried to breastfeed…ONCE…. in the hospital and it wasn’t for me either. The nurses ignored me after that! I felt like the worst mother but I just couldn’t do it. Under extraordinary pressure from my mother, I pumped for a little while so my daughter would get the nutrients from breastmilk. Now I am glad I made the choices I did. I don’t regret anything. People always ask me if I wish I could have felt what labor is like….um, no. I have no desire to ever breastfeed. I’m just built and wired a little differently. I think I am a great, loving, compassionate mother though and my daughter turned out just fine 🙂

My hubby and I did take a tour of the hospital and a few classes there as well about birthing. Seriously, the videos and photos they showed were enough to scare anyone from ever getting pregnant! One lady looked like she had a 20 lb baby coming out…..my husband said “that’s not a baby….it’s a freaking toddler!”

I was completely obsessed with birth though. I recorded EVERY Baby Story on TLC. I read every book. I searched the Internet for everything under the sun. Episiotomy was probably my most extensive search 😉

Sarah says:

I loved the kitty surprise toy when I was little…the picture made me laugh. I definitely don’t want to have a home birth because I would be worried that if something were wrong I would have to go to the hospital and risk the chance of me or the baby dying. I have been told that I have a high tolerance for pain…which is awesome! So I’m hoping to have a natural unmedicated birth if possible but in the hospital. If contractions are anything like what my period cramps were then it’s not too horrible. Believe me I would get the worst cramps ever on the first day, hot flashes, and then I would throw up. I never went to school on the first day of my period because I would end up going home. So ya it sucked but I got through it without any pain meds (I know what was I thinking right?), until I discovered Advil…haha thanks mom…but even Advil didn’t work all the time so I had to just lay there curled up in a ball on the floor wishing for the cramps to go away! I have read a little about the different options but I don’t think I will make my ultimate decision until I am actually pregnant and consult with hubby. Insurance for me isn’t a problem because he’s in the military but I should research what my options are…humm now you got me thinking. I think a lot of has to do with your attitude during the delivery as well.

jj says:

The business of being born only seems “biased” top the brainwashed. The truth about the med system is pretty horrific. Sexual sadism is the driving force in obstetrics. Money comes SECOND.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

headshot

I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



follow @jenniferborget on

watch @jenniferborget on