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The Can of Worms–Boobs of Milk

Breastfeeding, I know it’s a huge topic in the blogsphere right now, and just in everyday life for woman who have children.

I never thought much of it. I wasn’t breastfed (I think my mom was afraid she’d smother me) and I never really thought one way or another that it was a big deal. But arguments saying it’s healthier for your kids makes me think it’s worth it. I think if I didn’t have time or whatever I’d just invest in a good pump.

This isn’t something I want to debate over, especially since I have a LOOOONG time to think about it, but I’d like your thoughts on it.

It seems lately there’s a huge divide between women who do and those who don’t. I think it’s kind of sad. I wouldn’t want people to make me feel bad for something I couldn’t or didn’t want to do. I mean, I turned out OK 😮p

Why do you think there is that divide between women? Why do women who breastfeed feed like they need to practically bash women who don’t?

Ok another weird thing I’ve heard… Don’t hate me but “Breast feeding parties?” And I don’t mean everyone has their own kid their feeding..I’m talking about the ones where they pass their kids around and share! Not to offend people who do that but what’s up with that? Couldn’t another person have something your child is allergic to and give that to them? I honestly just don’t get that! I have a friend who was trying to decide on a family to give her baby to for adoption and she was turned off by a family who wanted to do that to her child.

Ok ladies, enlighten me! I’m not saying I won’t listen to your reasons why this is done… I honestly have know clue and want to know!

Also… Another extreme thanks to 20/20… Breastfeeding grown kids!! What do you think?


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Sharla says:

I have been able to breastfeed all of my children, including my twins. And I’ve never had to supplement. I love it. It is one of the most relaxing and bonding experiences I’ve ever had. However, there are many women who have to work, or don’t have enough milk, or even just don’t like doing it and I see no problem with just finding what works for you and your baby. I think most people obsess too much. If your child is loved and taken care of they will be fine! I must say however that a breastfeeding party sounds downright creepy to me. What a way to send confusing mixed messages to mommies and babies. If there was an emergency and a baby other than mine needed milk I would feed it my milk but I don’t know why anyone would choose that. Oh, and one year is good for me and then I’m ready for my body back. And my babies have all been ready to move on then too. But who knows? More power to them I guess.

Breastfeeding grown children is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. Like that kid on your video who described the taste of breast milk to be like vanilla ice cream. It’s like, if you’re old enough to know what it tastes like, you’re too old to be breastfeeding. DISGUSTING and I would argue that it’s detrimental to a child’s development.

Breast feeding does have huge merits (for umm BABIES?!) It’s cheap, it’s super healthy and it creates a bonding that is almost impossible to achieve otherwise. You talked about women who had orgasms giving birth, some women have orgasms when breastfeeding. It has to do with the increased circulation of the hormone oxytocin pumping through the brain and body. This hormone is known as “the bonding hormone” because it creates bonds between partners (between sexual partners during sex and between mother and child during breastfeeding.) The way God has set up the body is amazing 🙂 If a women can breastfeed, I really recommend it.

The Rogers says:

I have to agree with Sharla’s comment. Whatever works best for mommy and baby. My daughter refused to be breastfed. She just didn’t want to do it and I didn’t want it to be an ordeal everytime it was time to eat for her. I pumped for a while and then used the bottle. Some people freak out and say bad things will happen to your baby if you don’t breastfed but my little girl turned out just fine. Its all about what works for you.

Mommy Bee says:

I’m a proud lactavist, I nurse in public without a cover, and I’m going to write you a little novel here. ☺ I very much believe that breastfeeding is the ideal, and that while formula has it’s place (for the extremely rare cases where mother cannot nurse, or where there is no mother), I think it should always be a last resort. Formula companies try very hard to imitate breastmilk, but every year or two they discover some new thing that they need to include–that tells me that breastmilk is still better than any formula.

I’ve never passed my baby around the circle, nor would I want to, but I am ok with nursing someone elses child or having them nurse mine (assuming I know them/don’t have allergy concerns, etc). My sister and i have babies 2 months apart, and we’ve both nursed each others kids when we were babysitting for each other. It’s just more convenient than pumping and heating bottles!

I think that is one of the biggest perks of breastfeeding–it’s so darn convenient! Always available (I’ve never forgotten my boob at home or in the car!), always the right proportions, always the right temperature…you don’t have to be very awake to pop a nipple in a baby’s mouth and go back to sleep yourself, and by the time they’re a few months old they can find the nipple themselves and then you get to sleep through the night (even before the baby does!)

I do agree that nursing a 6 year old is wild. Really wild! That said, I feel that 1 year is a minimum, and 2 years is actually more ideal for breastfeeding (WHO recommends 2 years–I can give you a stack of scientific reasons for it, starting with brain development needing the high-fat content in order to properly mylenize the cells…even whole cows milk is lower fat than breastmilk). My son will be 2 this week, and he loves “nurn”. He nurses for bedtime and naptime, and occasionally in between for comfort (or if he notices me changing and sees the nurn then he wants it LOL!) We’re working on night weaning because he still wakes at night for the comfort of it. Sure, sometimes I think it’d be nice if I didn’t have to bother, but on the other hand we have this precious relationship and I can ALWAYS comfort him, even when no one else can. Nursing is an amazing cure-all for kiddos, long after it ceases to be needed for nutrition.
*Breastmilk is gentle on tummies–so if the child is sick and won’t eat anything else you can still nurse and know that they are getting the nutrition they need.
*Breastfeeding lowers the mother’s risk for breast cancer.
*Breastfeeding bolsters the baby’s immune system by sharing mom’s antibodies, so especially if you have a winter baby I recommend breastfeeding.

Hmm, I think I need to go write a post of my own. LOL!

Jess says:

I have never heard of a party like that… I have never personally bashed on women who did not breast feed.. nor associate with women who behave that way…I have never had an orgasim while feeding..(Im half tempted to look into that one more.. lol..)

I have had all three of my kids natural… and I have nursed all three of them. My oldest two.. self weaned at about three.. and my youngest who tured three in AUg. 08, is still nursing. She nurses at night and in the early mormings. She asks for a boob when we go to bed.. and she tells me its her milk. And no its not disgusting to me in the least. If she were 10 and we were still doing this.. I might get the heebee jeebeees… but shes 3.

For us it is a time of cuddling, a sweet moment that once they are older and weaned… it can never be replaced.. just like that…its one of those priceless bonding moments.. when your nursing and looking into those big loving eyes looking up to yours. I strongly feel that I have a stronger relationship with my children… we are closer… than for example my sister who choose not to breastfeed. Not being mean and saying Im better or anything… saying the bonding is a tad stronger I feel…

We nursed because it was the best for their health. One of my other thoughts on my first child was that if I was going to be blessed with these stupid big boobs to have to lug around my whole life… by golly I was going to use them for their intended purpose… lol…

Some people can and some can not… some want to and some do not. I am a frim believer that it doesnt matter… I do whats best for mine and you do whats best for yours… as a wife, mother, sister in the gospel… its all good in my book.

Audrey came out of the womb and latched on as soon as she was in my arms. She nursed amazingly. Perfectly, and even on a schedule from the start. The problem was, she was severely lactose intolerant. It was awful. Every time I fed her, she’d begin to scream after about 10 minutes later and didn’t stop for about two hours. Then, she’d fall asleep for an hour, wake up starving, and the cycle began again. She also threw up a lot. Not spitting up, throwing up. Exorcist style. My boobs couldn’t keep up with her. She was screaming, I felt like a bad mother. I couldn’t understand how the breast could be best if it was causing my child so much pain! So, I gave in and tried the soy formula sample they gave me from the hospital. Guess what? She didn’t scream after she ate it. She was happy. She burped well. She didn’t throw up. She slept through the night (12 hours a night since she was 8 weeks old). She was a whole new baby.

Don’t get me wrong; I loved breastfeeding. I breastfed for 5 weeks before I stopped. It was sad to quit. I missed those special feedings. Formula is expensive, too. But, it was the right thing to do.

Now she is 15 months old and perfectly healthy. She is bigger and stronger than most kids her age and a genius (she has a vocabulary of 10-15 words, whereas most kids her age only know 5 or 6). She is very advanced. I do not feel like I made a bad choice by feeding her formula; I made the best choice for us. Our family was better off for it.

Anyway, it’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself. But, I do recommend at least trying it, because the colostrum that comes out at first is VERY nutritious. Every little bit helps. It is the way God intended, but I also believe that he inspired formula as well.

Keya says:

I watched that episode on 20/20. It was funny watching grown kids breastfeeding. They basically said they did it to be close to mom, because obviously they don’t need it anymore.
It’s crazy in this world that people bash other people so much. They think because they are doing something everyone else has to do it too. Which is so wrong.

I breastfed my baby & gave him formula (because I was told he wasn’t getting enough food, by family members). Next time I will breastfeed exclusivly.
Towards the end I fell in love with it & wanted to keep doing it, but he doesn’t want it anymore. I used the pump too at work, but didn’t care too much for that.
I have friends who never breastfed & I wondered why. They actually told me it’s disgusting. But I didn’t judge them because of that. I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for a woman to share with her baby.
I would not breastfeed anyone else’s child nor have my child get breastfed from someone else. I personally think it’s a bond that should only be between a mom & her baby.

Anonymous says:

Before opening yourself up the debate aspects of it, I would encourage you to educate yourself about the benefits of nursing, the risks of NOT nursing for both YOURSELF and the baby. For example African-American women have high rates of breast cancer. We also have the lowest rates of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is one way that you can reduce your individual risk of this and other cancers. This is just one example.

Consider that the natural age of weaning around the world is between 4 and 7 which corresponds to the time that the immune system is mature. Google Katherine A. Dettwyler for an introduction to the science/anthropology and history of extended nursing.

As someone else pointed out, we think that breastfeeding and especially extended breastfeeding is “weird” because the formula companies have spent the last 60 years convincing us that cow’s milk (which is breastmilk from another SPECIES) is more “natural” for our babies. We have been brainwashed to think that formula and breastmilk are equivalent, but they just aren’t. Obviously formula fed babies do fine (and in some rare cases formula is necessary) but if you can give your baby that little advantage/protection why not?

Finally look up Jennifer James, who currently blogs for mothering magazine. She has done a lot of work digging up old pictures from a time when breastfeeding was normal and has documented in photos the transformation of our culture that was perpetrated by the formula companies. She currently blogs at http://www.mothering.com/jenniferjames/ . She has also done a lot of blogging about black women and breastfeeding.

Jessie Evans says:

I’m planning on breastfeeding, but I have to admit, it’s mostly for selfish reasons. 99 percent of women I’ve talked to say that breastfeeding helps them lose the baby weight super fast. My best friend weighs less now than pre-pregnancy and her baby is barely 4 months old. The only thing she’s done to lose the weight is breastfeed. Also, it’s cheap and convenient. Like someone else mentioned, you’re not going to leave your boobs at home.

Azúcar says:

I’m so glad that someone else mentioned Jennifer James, I love that woman; her work is remarkable.

I was working full time when I had my first. Even though I couldn’t be there for him all the time, it was important to me to give him the best nutrition possible. I was able to pump so that my sons have never had to have formula. It was a commitment I made to them. Sometimes it took a little organization, but it was worth it. Coming home and picking up that baby, nursing him, it just let the world melt away–let us reconnect on a primal level–heaven.

I loved nursing my babies. And like anonymous said, it’s not just about the incredible benefits to your babies, it’s also about your health. I have a family history of breast and ovarian cancer, nursing cuts those risks (along with hundreds of others) significantly.

Most women can nurse, but many women lack the support to be able to do so. If you educate yourself enough ahead of time, and make a commitment to do all it takes (because those first 8 weeks can be rough) you will succeed with breastfeeding.

Oh, and HELL YES I nursed my toddlers. Why would I purposely wean them to put them on cow milk? Makes no logical sense. But don’t worry about that, get through the first year first.

I highly recommend nursing, especially if you’re a working mom.

Anonymous says:

I’m all for nursing a BABY. But a toddler or kid! No way! I also don’t see anything wrong with nursing in public as long as you cover up. It’s just like other bodily functions, yes it’s natural, but you still should have manners while doing it! Trust me no one wants to see your boob. I am 9 mths pregnant and I plan on nursing my baby. But with my first he refused to latch on from day one. I ended up giving him formula and he turned out great!

Anonymous says:

Ask the American Indian’s in what they did about breastfeeding, it was even brought up in a movie in passing babies around to evey woman in the camp. They thought it was right thing to do.

What do you think a Wetnurse is. Come on ladies get real and leave these mothers alone. It is a tough world out there for kids and they need all the confort they can get.

Here is my wifes story. She was in the military and we had our third child, ten months after being born she was deployed to the Middle East for four months. She was breastfeeding before she left, when returning, my daughter wanted nothing to do with her for about a month after returning. Yes there are seperation issues with this but the bottom line is breastfeeding is definetly for confort. You decide what you want to do.

Jess says:

I have never heard of a party like that… I have never personally bashed on women who did not breast feed.. nor associate with women who behave that way…I have never had an orgasim while feeding..(Im half tempted to look into that one more.. lol..)

I have had all three of my kids natural… and I have nursed all three of them. My oldest two.. self weaned at about three.. and my youngest who tured three in AUg. 08, is still nursing. She nurses at night and in the early mormings. She asks for a boob when we go to bed.. and she tells me its her milk. And no its not disgusting to me in the least. If she were 10 and we were still doing this.. I might get the heebee jeebeees… but shes 3.

For us it is a time of cuddling, a sweet moment that once they are older and weaned… it can never be replaced.. just like that…its one of those priceless bonding moments.. when your nursing and looking into those big loving eyes looking up to yours. I strongly feel that I have a stronger relationship with my children… we are closer… than for example my sister who choose not to breastfeed. Not being mean and saying Im better or anything… saying the bonding is a tad stronger I feel…

We nursed because it was the best for their health. One of my other thoughts on my first child was that if I was going to be blessed with these stupid big boobs to have to lug around my whole life… by golly I was going to use them for their intended purpose… lol…

Some people can and some can not… some want to and some do not. I am a frim believer that it doesnt matter… I do whats best for mine and you do whats best for yours… as a wife, mother, sister in the gospel… its all good in my book.

Anonymous says:

Before opening yourself up the debate aspects of it, I would encourage you to educate yourself about the benefits of nursing, the risks of NOT nursing for both YOURSELF and the baby. For example African-American women have high rates of breast cancer. We also have the lowest rates of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is one way that you can reduce your individual risk of this and other cancers. This is just one example.

Consider that the natural age of weaning around the world is between 4 and 7 which corresponds to the time that the immune system is mature. Google Katherine A. Dettwyler for an introduction to the science/anthropology and history of extended nursing.

As someone else pointed out, we think that breastfeeding and especially extended breastfeeding is “weird” because the formula companies have spent the last 60 years convincing us that cow’s milk (which is breastmilk from another SPECIES) is more “natural” for our babies. We have been brainwashed to think that formula and breastmilk are equivalent, but they just aren’t. Obviously formula fed babies do fine (and in some rare cases formula is necessary) but if you can give your baby that little advantage/protection why not?

Finally look up Jennifer James, who currently blogs for mothering magazine. She has done a lot of work digging up old pictures from a time when breastfeeding was normal and has documented in photos the transformation of our culture that was perpetrated by the formula companies. She currently blogs at http://www.mothering.com/jenniferjames/ . She has also done a lot of blogging about black women and breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding grown children is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. Like that kid on your video who described the taste of breast milk to be like vanilla ice cream. It’s like, if you’re old enough to know what it tastes like, you’re too old to be breastfeeding. DISGUSTING and I would argue that it’s detrimental to a child’s development.

Breast feeding does have huge merits (for umm BABIES?!) It’s cheap, it’s super healthy and it creates a bonding that is almost impossible to achieve otherwise. You talked about women who had orgasms giving birth, some women have orgasms when breastfeeding. It has to do with the increased circulation of the hormone oxytocin pumping through the brain and body. This hormone is known as “the bonding hormone” because it creates bonds between partners (between sexual partners during sex and between mother and child during breastfeeding.) The way God has set up the body is amazing 🙂 If a women can breastfeed, I really recommend it.

Azúcar says:

I’m so glad that someone else mentioned Jennifer James, I love that woman; her work is remarkable.

I was working full time when I had my first. Even though I couldn’t be there for him all the time, it was important to me to give him the best nutrition possible. I was able to pump so that my sons have never had to have formula. It was a commitment I made to them. Sometimes it took a little organization, but it was worth it. Coming home and picking up that baby, nursing him, it just let the world melt away–let us reconnect on a primal level–heaven.

I loved nursing my babies. And like anonymous said, it’s not just about the incredible benefits to your babies, it’s also about your health. I have a family history of breast and ovarian cancer, nursing cuts those risks (along with hundreds of others) significantly.

Most women can nurse, but many women lack the support to be able to do so. If you educate yourself enough ahead of time, and make a commitment to do all it takes (because those first 8 weeks can be rough) you will succeed with breastfeeding.

Oh, and HELL YES I nursed my toddlers. Why would I purposely wean them to put them on cow milk? Makes no logical sense. But don’t worry about that, get through the first year first.

I highly recommend nursing, especially if you’re a working mom.

The Rogers says:

I have to agree with Sharla’s comment. Whatever works best for mommy and baby. My daughter refused to be breastfed. She just didn’t want to do it and I didn’t want it to be an ordeal everytime it was time to eat for her. I pumped for a while and then used the bottle. Some people freak out and say bad things will happen to your baby if you don’t breastfed but my little girl turned out just fine. Its all about what works for you.

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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