The Big News
Not mine… Yours!… Or anyones I guess. Sorry if I got you excited, but really, you should know that’s not in my immediate future right now. But I do have a question about it. I’ve heard you shouldn’t tell people until you’re about 12 weeks pregnant. Is that because you could miscarry? Is that pretty common? I feel like once I found out I’d like to tell people right away! Well, I’ll guess I’ll keep it a secret a little while because I imagine that’s a special time between husband and wife to ponder about the exciting and life-changing news. But if you couldn’t tell I’m not a private person… Not at all, and I imagine I’ll want to spill the beans ASAP. How do you bite your tongue?
I think it’ll be hard for me not to share my entire experience here on my blog. It has become like a baby… eeer, pre-baby journal to me, so why stop once I see the plus sign? I guess it could be a sort of lull for a few months but I think it’ll be hard for me to keep it a secret!! I’ll want to be like “so today I took a home pregnancy test and I’M PREGNANT!” ya know? And whatever happens happens, I’ll document every experience, good or bad. Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ll probably change my mind as time goes on but this is what I’m thinking now.
I’m thinking I won’t want to tell people I work with for a few months, so the ones that read my blog will have to keep their mouths shut! I’d probably tell family soon after, but I wouldn’t want them to get too too excited in case things change. But I think I’d tell you all right away! It’ll be too hard for me not to blog about it every second. I’ll want to tell all of my friends cause I mean, you’re only pregnant for 9 months so why only get the shrieks and giggles for 6 months? But then again it seems like that’s almsot like breaking an unspoken rule. Hmmm, I dunno.
When did you tell everyone? Your spouse? Friends? Family? Employer? Blog readers? I’m curious!
I’m totally telling everyone the minute I know…forget the 12 weeks thing!-Megan Lavin
When we found out we were having triplets we kept is a secret. A couple of weeks later our entire neighborhood was buzzing about the triplets. I was so mad–but funny thing was, they weren’t talking about us! Our back-door neighbors were pregnant with triplets, too! And our due dates turned out to be only about 2 weeks apart! That other mom totally stole my thunder! LOL. I’ve forgiven her.
If I found out i was preggo I would want to tell everyone right away but I would wait a little while. Like I would tell my hubby immediately but I would wait a couple weeks before telling anyone else so we could sorta have that secret together and be excited. Then I would take out a newspaper ad and tell anyone who would listen 😛
I told as soon as I found out each time. I guess it’s up to the individual and what makes them more comfortable.
I wrote up a whole post about this and it’ll go up on monday I think. 🙂
but basically, yes, I think people wait because they think they might miscarry…well, the time I waited till 13 weeks, I miscarried at 14wks. And I grieved alone because nobody had even known…
So I fall into the ‘tell people early’ group, because whether you tell or not will not affect whether you miscarry or not, and frankly miscarrying alone is WAY worse than when everybody knows about it. 🙂
Oh, I should add though…even though I tell that I’m pregnant, I may or may not divulge details, such as if we found out it were twins, or whether we find out the sex of the baby…
I personally wanted to be the one to tell our family, but my MIL ruined it for me. We were living out of state and we called to tell her and my SIL as soon as we found out (around five or six weeks) and my SIL told me not to tell anyone (What if I miscarried? She had.) My MIL said to tell EVERYONE (so they could pray for us and the baby, we’re a very Catholic family.)
My MIL told everyone before I got a chance to. I was furious!!!
With #2 we decided not to tell ANYONE but our best friends (a married couple). That was until I was 6 wks pregnant and found out that I was having a high risk pregnancy. My MIL was told right away and she called everyone and asked for prayers. Part of me was very upset with her – I was at such a high risk to lose the baby – I didn’t want everyone to know what had happened if things had ended differently. At the same time, I’m very grateful to her. For all I know, it was those prayers that kept me from losing my pregnancy?
I say it’s on the mom and her beliefs. Superstitious? Religious? Do you mind if people know if – God forbid – you were to miscarry?? Those are the things you will take into account.
To add to that: We shared the name of our son with family the first time around and for MONTHS they kept asking how he was by his name, instead of “How is the baby” or “How is the pregnancy?” It drove me crazy!!! I felt like that was something that should have been kept private between my hubs and I – so we didn’t share the name with the family the second time around. 🙂
I’ve heard of people waiting to say anything… but I don’t think I could wait at all!
I told all my friends, my family, and my husband the minute I found out. I was 6 weeks. It’s really common to miscarry before 12 weeks so they caution against telling before you are 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. I didn’t tell with my other two, but I miscarried both those at about 6 weeks and actually didn’t know I was pregnant till I lost them.
Tip – think of HOW you want to reveal it – I have a feeling you’re going to be creative! We had my parents open a late “xmas gift” and inside was the test. Mom pretended like she didn’t know how to read it. Dad, of course, knew. Risk of the 1st trimester miscarriage is what keeps most of us from revealing the secret, I suppose b/c you don’t want to have to go back and explain things to folks at such a fragile time. BUT, if you’re open (and you are), and you’d share the bad and the good w/ your closest and dearest twitter friend, then GO FOR IT!
I am not a person who can keep things in at all, so I’ll tell people. I don’t think miscarrying is something someone wants to do alone anyway — so why not have your friends know so they can support you?
This comment has been removed by the author.
I can understand being excited and wanting to tell everyone. However, it is true that its quite common for you to miscarry in the first three months, especially with your first. So why you want to tell everyone, when people keep coming up to you for months and asking how your baby is coming and when were you due again, do you want to have to keep retelling over and over that it did not work out this time? I personally would not handle it well. I think tell your closest friend or two and your parents and keep it a little quiet for awhile. That way you do have people to go through it with but do not have to talk to everyone about it. Unless that is how you personally deal with pain and loss. Like others have said it is up to how each person copes with things, and what feels good for them
I told people usually after the 3rd month. I tell my husband right away as soon as I take the pregnancy test. This is my third pregnancy and I am not telling anyone honestly. Maybe if they see me out and about they’ll know, but besides that there’s no announcement on my part.
I waited 2 months to post about it online & tell my family. And 3 months to tell everyone else. I was very nervous about it and wanted to pass my 1st trimester before I told people.
My first pregnancy was ectopic. We told only 4 people (his parents, my sister, and a good friend) and it was torture to tell everyone afterward and relive it and put everyone in the position where they don’t really know what to say. (btw, chances of ectopic are less than 1%)
I miscarried with second, but had told several close friends, our parents and my sisters. It was SO much better to have the support the second time around and to have everyone rally around us. (chances of miscarriage are estimated to be as high as 25% of all pregnancies.)
Next time, I’m telling all my girlfriends and 1 of my sisters. Beyond that, I’ll wait until I get the green light from my doc before deciding who else to tell. I’m definitely a “tell a few and wait and see” kind of gal. In the meantime, I keep a Super Secret blog about my experiences and will let my special people in once that green light is given. . . that way nobody misses out.
I was far too excited to keep it quiet! I’m not a really private person either, and the pregnancy was the main reason I started my blog so that I could keep far away friends and family up-to-date easily and not have to make a million phone calls everytime something happened. I also loved it because they were able to give me feedback and ideas when I needed it.
That being said, we found out I was pregnant while in the ER (I was sick and it was totally unrelated to the pregnancy). Anyway, they wanted to do a chest x-ray but I insisted on having a pregnancy test first and luckily I did because I was 4½ weeks pregnant at that point. It was kinda funny because the dr. who told us didn’t know how we would react so she acted very apprehensive when she told us and was pleasantly surprised when we were jumping up and down.
After leaving the ER I called my mom first, it was like 4am (because she knew I was going to the ER), I started giving her all the details and then nonchalantly mentioned I was pregnant somewhere in the conversation and I just kept talking, pretending I hadn’t said anything important. She caught it and started screaming into the phone – It was great.
We told his parents by calling them around 7am when we knew they were awake and asking his mom if she wanted to be called Grandma or Abuelita (she’s Mexican). Yet again we were greeted with screams (this was to be their first grandchild)!
Throughout the day I called everyone I had phone numbers for and I don’t regret it one bit. I’ve talked to people that say they wait until 12 weeks because of the miscarriage thing. My opinion on that is that in case I do have a miscarriage I want the people closest to me to know. I would want to be comforted during that time by those who love me, I don’t like to suffer alone. But again, I’m not a really private person
Its super hard to keep it a secret- especially if you have been trying a long time. I wanted to tell my sisters in person and had to wait 2 weeks after we took the test. I came up with cute ideas, but every time I talked to one of them on the phone I wanted to scream “I’m pregnant!” We’re not telling others for awhile longer because we did miscarry the first. So we will tell family and close friends and then maybe after a few more weeks go by start telling people. Sometimes I think it would be fun to tell only one person every day…that way you can keep the excitement flowing.
I told everyone as soon as I found out. I also wrote about it on my livejournal and facebook:)I was so excited I wanted everyone to know!
I called my parents before the pee was even dry on the stick. I waited a week or two to broadcast it, but I told everyone well before 12 weeks.
Swinging by from BSU! Cute blog!
We had to tell everyone at 6 weeks because my MIL was coming to town and she would have figured it out; by that point, I was laying around like a vegetable and puking all day.
I wanted to wait longer, but I just knew she’d catch on. So, I figured it was only fair to tell everyone simultaneously.
We DIDN’T, however, tell anyone we were trying. That is just TMI, in my opinion. So it was a huge surprise when everyone found out!
We told family right away. I told my employer later on and I told friends in between the two. But I wasn’t 12 weeks when I told most people. I only told my employer when I was starting to show and people would have guessed. I tried to play off the constant nausea as well as I could for 3 or so months. I was also in school, so I had to tell teachers so they didn’t think I was just perpetually skipping class.