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The “Accidents”

Sorry, I’m not buying it. This has been quite a pet peeve of mine for awhile now. I’ll hear a woman say she got pregnant “on accident” or “surprisingly” but in my book, if you’re not on birth control, what’s the surprise?

Some people say “we’re not trying but we’re just not using birth control and we’ll see what happens.” Well sooner or later you’ll probably be seeing some growth in your belly cause eventually it’ll happen.

I understand “Leaving things up to the Lord,” I’m all for that, but we have choices too ya know. I mean, you can leave it up to Him by NOT using birth control while I can leave it up to Him USING it.

Some people do get pregnant on birth control. I almost think it would be easier that way… For me at least. It would be easier for me to believe “it was meant to be” if it happened while I was doing everything in my power for it NOT to happen. Wouldn’t that be more of a miracle?

Most likely it’ll happen while you’re not using precautions but if it’s what God wants it’ll happen regardless right?

I’d prefer people to say “It wasn’t exactly planned but we knew it was a possibility” than “What the eff? I wasn’t using birth control but shoot, we only did it once! What a surprise!” That’s a chance you’re taking people!

Now if you’re on the pill, only did it once and you STILL got knocked up… My hat is off to ya, you are one fertile woman, and if I were in your shoes I’d be freaking out, but excited because divine intervention has got to be a part of that scenario.

PS: This is definitely directed towards women who convince easily and naturally… Or who don’t know how easily they conceive “forget” to use birth control and get knocked up in a month or two. Not those who try for a long time, kick birth control to the curb, and get a pleasant surprise later on as yall did 🙂

Either way, please don’t let my random rants upset you. I do have friends who have had the “Oops…*giggle*” scenario as well, but I still love them. My words aren’t meant to offend 🙂


Mommy Bee says:

I so heartily agree–if you see my own post today you’ll understand all the more.

There is ONE way to avoid children–abstain from doing the baby dance. I don’t care what form of birth control you use, if you are doin the dance, you’d better be willing to accept children.

People said my youngest brother was an ‘accident’. um, well, he was a caboose, but as my dad pointed out, he was a logical consequence of intentional actions, so that’s not really an accident is it. 🙂

Keya says:

I dislike when people say oh it was an accident either. Especially knowing that they had sex period, with or with out protection, you have a chance of getting pregnant.

Josie says:

You are too funny, but I agree!

This post is the reason I am absolutely in love with your blog!!

I completely agree with you. My husband and his twin were an “accident” and it was only because their parents didn’t have any sort of protection on their honeymoon cuz they didn’t know it would happen lol. And then later his little sister was another “accident”. I laugh pretty hard when they talk about it, much to their dismay.

Cynthia says:

“if it’s what God wants it’ll happen regardless right?”

I don’t believe this. I believe that we always have free agency and the right to choose even if it isn’t what’s best for us. God may want it for us but I don’t believe he overrides our free will.

I have to believe that because as a person who struggled with infertility I cannot believe that it was ‘his will’ for all the drug addicts and abusers out there to have the precious children that were, for a time, denied me.

My Mom did get pregnant once while nursing (because she thought she couldn’t if she was nursing) and 3 more times on birth control pills. I know it happens- heck, that’s why I’m here but I don’t chalk it up to ‘God’s will’.

Goldibug says:

I refuse to use birth control but have no problem with others doing so. You can not get prego while not on birth control too. If your male partner checks out before old faithful blows that is. This has worked for us for two years now. I do get pregnant fairly easily when we do try though. I do agree with you on people claiming it was an accident. Did they pass out during sex ed or something?

Anonymous says:

I got pregnant on birth control. I don’t call it an accident. A welcome surprise.

Dev says:

I loved your post! I totally agree with you! There is always a chance you could get pregnant no matter what! People who say they are angry because they did this, or that to prevent pregnancy drive me nuts because they knew there was a chance it could go the other way. I think any baby is a wonderful gift, planned or unplanned!

mzzmyrick says:

WOO I’m a loyal commenter! Awesome!!!
Well I guess I might be one of the only ones to disagree with you in one way

“I’ll hear a woman say… “surprisingly” but in my book,… what’s the surprise?”

Maybe my case is rare but, I think in reality it isn’t. I’ve had fertility issues. After 4 years of marriage never using any form of birth control over 90% of that time we realized it wasn’t going to happen naturally. So with medical assistance I was able to get pregnant twice (one miscarriage.)
After the birth of my son, my OB said that it can happen where I could get pregnant naturally the next time. So we got on the BC train for a while, after deciding hey lets try again for #2 we stopped BC. No luck. I spoke with my OB again, who said it wasn’t going to happen without medical assistance. (In Sept)

So we start getting the ball rolling for the next appt so I can get the treatments, I get the flu, and a blessed UTI (In Nov). I’m not the most regular person with Aunt Flo, so they had to checked pregnancy just in case so I could get the right medication. I felt it was a waste of time. I truly was surprised when I got the result stating I was pregnant. Shocked would be the most accurate word to describe. Utterly shocked. 5 years of sex, and finally my body figures out what to do with the little men?
Although we were already in the process of wanting a child, I guess what I mean was that I was shocked that my body actually did what was normal. I had come to terms with being abnormal for so long, actually getting pregnant the natural way was such a shock to me.

So no we weren’t on BC, and I was surprised to find out I conceived naturally. Enthralled, excited, and so blessed to be able to experience that.

I’ve had jealousies of women who can get pregnant easily, or without any issues or problems. So it was nice to get to be on that side of the fence and be shocked for once. I can only imagine how a women must feel who after years of invasive fertility treatments years after conceive naturally. Overwhelmingly awesome.

In regards to Accidents… well I do agree with you there! If you are a healthy women, who can get pregnant and don’t use BC then well… I don’t have much to tell you then maybe you should go back to 8th grade and learn sex ed again?

So would you say this post is meant more for the women who are able to conceive naturally? Or would you encompass women like me, who’ve had infertility issues. The statistical outlyers.. =)

mzzmyrick says:

oh yeah you might get a kick out of this… in college I worked in a medical lab. We had a women who had her tubes cut… and she STILL got preggers after that. Hmmm

Jennifer says:

Mzzmyrick and Cynthia,

This is definitely directed towards women who convince easily and naturally… Or who don’t know how easily they conceive “forget” to use birth control and get knocked up in a month or two. Not those who try for a long time, kick birth control to the curb, and get a pleasant surprise later on as yall did 🙂

Either way, please don’t let my random rants upset you. They aren’t meant to offend 🙂

mzzmyrick says:

=)
no offense was ever taken! I adore your blog.
I was just thinking about what you had said and I thought, hey she might like hearing it when looking at it from my angle… and shared my experience!

I’m a bit rambly tonight…

I agree with this post 🙂 I don’t like it when people use the term “accident”. Babies are precious and to describe them as an “accident” just doesn’t seem right ;-(

We called our third little girl a “pleasant surprise” instead. Because…she was. I WAS on birth control at that time, but she was no “accident.” She was just an adorable surprise we hadn’t planned on but are now SO VERY HAPPY we have 🙂

Great post & site! I’ll be back!

I don’t know anything about accidents. I was never pregnant until I got married. Ever. And that is saying alot considering I was married at 35. But, I am not going to stand on a high horse because there were a couple of times when I was counting down the days – hopeful that aunt flo was coming.

Michele says:

I love that cartoon!! Had me chuckling over here! I am one of those fertile myrtles. Got preggo both times immediately. (planned pregnancies, of course) Ya never know how fertile ya are until ya give it a roll! 🙂
Love your blog. Thanks for visiting mine. Good luck with all your baby making business. (chuckle)

Jenna says:

I prefer not to refer to children as accidents. 🙂 But I agree with Mommy Bee, you’re doin’ the deed, be prepared for a baby! The only 100% effective form of birth control is ABSTINENCE.

Cascia says:

You sound like my sister. I am about 12 weeks pregnant with baby number 4. My husband and I are hurting financially due to the economy and lack of jobs so she is really upset that I got pregnant again. I’m Catholic so I don’t believe in using any form of contraceptive.

Like you stated I do leave it up to Him. I don’t believe I am that fertile of a woman either. After I got married my husband and I tried for nearly 2 years to conceive our second child. We struggled with what is called secondary infertility. So I know that I am not extremely fertile.

If my husband and I are getting along then maybe the Lord will bless us with children. That is how I feel. But my sister does not like that one bit. She, like you believes in using contraceptives.

But that is okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and beliefs.

Brittanie says:

I can totally understand this post in a lot of ways, even though I know a lot of people not on birth control who just don’t get pregnant for a year or two and then “start trying” and find themselves pregnant very easily.

I also can empathize with those women who have a very difficult time getting pregnant at all. But, then again, you have stories like those in my family of women on any or all sorts of birth control that get pregnant anyway. Over-fertility is a hardship as well.

I don’t mean this to brag, because I know infertility is a VERY difficult trial. I just think all situations can be surprising.

This also goes back to the post you wrote about healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. There are just some things we take for granted.

But, I agree that people should realize it’s a possibility, even if it does come as a fork in the plans. And, I agree with Jenna, “accidents” is a sad way to put it. Little blessings from heaven is what babies are, even if they are difficult.

My grandparents got pg with my uncle when the sugar ants got into the condoms! Now that is an accident. Me and my husband tell people that our seventh was an accident. She was adopted from China 🙂

Michelle says:

Yeah… I hear you on the not using birth control and getting pregnant, but apparently I’m not as alone as I thought I was in getting pregnant while faithfully taking the pill. I wouldn’t trade Mister Man away for anything though! Sometimes people … just make me shake my head.

And before I forget. Thanks for coming to visit me last Thursday on my SITS day. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back. I’ve visited more blogs in the past few days than I ever have before! I really appreciate all the comments and fun. I hope you enjoyed yourself and come back to visit again soon!

Julie says:

This reminded me of many years ago I worked in labor and delivery for about 5 years. During that time I had the pleasure of taking care of the same young lady twice within a couple of years. She informed me both times that her pregnancy was the result of the only time she’d been intimate with a guy. So she was batting 100% I’d say. Then she sold me a large bridge somewhere.
BTW…welcome to SITS!

I agree with you on the “ooops”. I also see what you are saying about divine intervention. However, God does give us free agency, the right to choose, so while I do believe in if he wants it to happen it will, I also believe that he lets us choose, and sometimes we may be getting in the way by our choices.

……..I should also say that I too think it would be easier if I got pregnant while on the pill, that way there is no talking yourself out of it.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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