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The 100% Rule

I’ve never been good with choices. It’s not that I make bad ones, no it’s not that… It’s the fact that it takes me FOREVER to make a decision. I’ll go to the convenient store for toothpaste and literally stand down that isle for a half hour, debating which brand and kind to get.

Crest? That’s what my family always got… But it could just be overrated, what about this generic brand? Too generic? Not as good for my teeth? What about whitening? Does it have fluoride? Overnight kind?… Oooh, dentist recommended! –Wait, they all say that. Which one’s bigger? This one stands on it’s own! Extra strength? …It fights what?–Does this one do that? Which one’s cheaper?… But you get what you pay for. Should I just get both?

Yes, I’ve actually done this before, and do it on a regular basis with the tiniest things. It’s for that reason that my husband HATES grocery shopping with me. We have to set a time limit, and he’ll often find me standing down an isle appearing as though I’m about to make the biggest decision of my life while I’m debating between something “extra strength” and “sensitive.”

So take that example and multiply it by a BILLION… That’s about how hard it is for me to decide when the right time to have a baby is.

I know I could have a kid now and be a “good mom”… Good enough at least. But I sometimes worry I’d be selfish for doing it now, when just a little longer, I could provide so much more.

I hear a lot of women say “Make sure you and your husband are both 100% on board before you go for it.” And “You’ll just know when you’re ready!” Well guess what? I’m ready… Well, I am now, but when I was typing that last paragraph… I wasn’t. I literally am flip flopping back and forth like a political candidate.

So how long is the 100% feeling suppose to last? I’m pretty sure I have a record for holding the 100% feeling for about a month or so… And it was a “Yes” like “answer to prayers, ‘yes'” But then I woke up one day and thought “I’m ok waiting a little longer”… And draw up a list of things I’d like to accomplish, and that feeling went away.– Guess I wasn’t ready.

I hear other women say “You’ll never be TOTALLY ready, just do it!” And I’m not sure if they mean ready mentally and emotionally, or just physically and economically.– Yea, I suppose I’d survive either way. Others who have taken the leap before me haven’t fallen into a disaster… For the most part anyway. I mean hey… They didn’t die! And 100% of them tell me they love it 90% of the time, about 50% of the time.

You know that feeling of 100% assurity they guarantee you you’ll get? Well what if you’ve had that but then it goes away? Was it a false call? Or were you never really “ready” anyway? I need some answers here and we can’t be vague. Cause I’m the kind of person who has an ounce of doubt, with something this big… It aint happenin.–Remember the toothpaste?

Ok, maybe I’m too unstable… Mentally that is, with this topic and life decision. Maybe it’s not the right time. But what if next month it is?… For a week, but then what if the next day I’m not but then the next I’m pregnant?!

And don’t even think about adding a husband’s opinion into this equation… Do that and you’ll have a whole heckofa mess! Some say “you both need to be on board 100%” then others say “If we waited until my husband was ready we’d still be waiting, he’s ready once reality hits him.” Well which one is it? I go both ways–Depending on my mood.

I think part of my problem is the fact that I over-analyze, and since I’m not pregnant, it’s easy to debate back and forth whereas if I was, I’d just go with it…

I literally had a conversation with a friend the other day that went something like this:
“So, babymakinmooon huh?, Where are you thinking of going?”
“Well, if next month than South Padre Island, if in six months Jamacia and if in a year, maybe Trinidad.”
“Wow, you just changed your time line from a few weeks to a year in six seconds”
“Yep”

Maybe I’ll make a new rule… I have to be certain for at least a month, no doubts… But then again are doubts normal every now and then? I’m grateful for choices but this one’s not easy.

The good news is, I’m not alone… Am I? I’m pretty sure there are people out in the world who have felt the way I’m feeling now. If you don’t mind, tell me your sign, as I’m thinking it’s a Capricorn thing.

Oh man, I’ve rambled so much with this post I’m not even sure I want to publish it. Ok I won’t.. no, maybe I will… nah… Ok yea… Wait, no..y-..n–


adiaha says:

Hi, I came to your blog via HomeGirl.typepad.com and am enjoying my visit. I can so relate to you about the decision making part of life. It seems so hard sometimes but we must bit the bullet and committ at some point right. COmmitting to a child is a big thing because you can’t really just give them back (well some people do but we don’t really like them). I have two daughters (7 years old and 8 months old) and I am so in love and happy with my decision. You will know when it is time to make that choice for yourself. I must tell you the committment is a journey with bumps bends and straightaways. One thing I learned after becomeing a mother is to trust myself 100%. My instincts are so spot on when it comes to my children. It makes decision making so much easier. Good Luck. I’ll be back. Peace.

Omgirl says:

Hi! I just clicked over to your blog after seeing that you met my sister, Jennie, at beehiveandbirdsnest. I love your blog! And I can totally relate about going back and forth. I actually didn’t get the option with my first child. When we finally decided we were ready, God wasn’t. A year and a half later I was so desperate for a baby that being actually ready wasn’t a thought that entered my mind. Until I got pregnant, and then I wondered if I was ready– too late! But now I’m considering #3. And I go back and forth back and forth sometimes from day to day, like you. So here are my thoughts: 1) It’s true, you’re never 100% ready. You will always vascilate because there will always be other options for your life. But when you feel that you want it more than often than you don’t, and you can’t think of any MAJOR reasons to wait, then just do it. The joy you get from having a child will over-ride most of the issues you might have waited to resolve. 2)Don’t wait for your man to be ready. I mean, if he says, “I absolutely do NOT want a child right now,” then wait. But if he’s like, “Yeah, maybe a baby sometime soon,” then he’s as ready as he’s ever going to get. Men FREAK OUT about babies until they are actually born. Even during pregnancy, they freak out. But once the baby is there, they are in love. 3) If you’re even a slightly religious person, ask God. Sometimes that’s the one thing that can make the best decision for you. YOU might take 5 years to decide and never know if it’s the right time. But if God says, “Yep, now,” you know everything is going to work out, right? Good luck!

Curls says:

This comment has been removed by the author.

Octamom says:

Hey there! While I can’t say that I share the toothpaste debacle (heck, I’m lucky if I remember that I need to get toothpaste!) I do understand the heart cry of waxing and waning when it comes to this topic. You’d think I’d have some magic formula since we are at the number we are–but each baby has represented a different season in our lives, different challenges, different levels of time and effort…yep, with all eight. I admire folks who get the ‘100% Sure-ity’ factor thing–but I don’t think I got that button. Wallowing in the gray, outlier areas seems to be a particular gift of mine!

Bless you as you weigh these decisions, as you build your life and marriage.

Blessings!

Anonymous says:

sounds like you could rationalize yourself to death! : ) My husband is like that with everything (even toothpaste). In my opinion just jump in… or set yourself with a time to re-evaluate. (like each month, every two weeks) and TRY not to dwell on it between then. If you decide NOW is not the time… come back in two weeks or a month and think about it again – “am I ready for this?” if not, wait another month and re-evaluate. YOU WILL BE A GOOD MOM, YOU WILL NOT REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS. It is a HUGE decision… but you are married, have a stable job, you’re mature… You can do it!! 🙂

Tracey says:

I do think it’s important that you are both on board before going forward and although I am not saying your case is like mine, my X was not ready and so we didn’t and I am glad because now he’s my X. Anyway…God knows the best time and he’ll let you both know.

AudreyStarJ says:

I hope you’re able to calm down soon. You’re gonna stress yourself out, girl! a baby is just part of life…God will help you, pray. God bless! Love your blog!

Mommy Bee says:

I always feel 100% certain that I want a baby…and so excited when I get that positive test… Then during the pregnancy I have a lot of waverings. I think it’s the hormones, or the just feeling really vulnerable, but I have moments of “ohmygosh am I ready for this” or “is this really the best timing” or who knows what all else…
I guess the point is, even if you’re 100% sure beforehand, there’s still 9 months left for wigging out. LOL!!!

Veronica says:

You have good advice here! As for the flip-flopping…. story of my life! If I have to buy shampoo, conditioner AND makeup in the same trip… it’s takes a good hour just for those three things! With the baby choice, it’s huge! I don’t want to make a mistake or want a baby so bad but not really be ready. But I do know that now is the time… and I just have to deal with that. Get everything I can and need ready now and deal with things as they come. This to me is the hardest choice I have ever made! All I can tell ya really is GOOD LUCK your not alone!!!!!

Mallory says:

Oh, you make me laugh so much! The toothpaste thing reminded me of my husband. He looks at the labels to EVERYTHING we buy, just to make sure it doesn’t have anything in it that could potentially kill us (i.e., parabens, high fructose corn syrup). The sad thing is, I’m the one that tells him we SHOULD avoid some things, then he goes WAY overboard with it. You’d think I would learn to keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, in all seriousness, I think that if the Spirit has told you that it would be ok to have a baby, then it is ok. Heavenly Father will give us the answer to our questions, but if we doubt him, he isn’t going to just keep giving us warm fuzzies. That is why he gave us agency. He expects us to act on the inspiration we receive.

We said that we’d start a family at 30, which left a LOT of interpretation for us. My husband is almost exactly a year older than me, so we always said “whose 30”. 30 came and went for him, and then we didn’t start trying until several months after I turned 30 and he turned 31, so I was 17 weeks pregnant on my 31st birthday (and a week later, Chris turned 32). We stretched it out to the last few months of my 30th year! We weren’t 100% sure, but we realized that we won’t have any regrets…we love each other madly, we’ve done a decent amount of traveling, and we both have pretty good jobs. Mine is stable, his is fairly stable, and we make “enough.” (I think I’m going to have a hard time working after the baby comes, but that’s a different story for a different time!) I always said that the perfect amount of time to be married before having a baby was 3 years. We recently celebrated our 6th anniversary. I didn’t want to be an “older” parent, but I wanted to make sure I had experienced life before I created a new life. And even though we were purposely trying, I was sure that I’d see that plus-sign on the pregnancy test I’d be like “Oh *#^%,” but I wasn’t! I’ve even surprised myself because I’m very mellow and relaxed and I know we made the right decision, even though I wasn’t so sure about it 6 months ago!!!

Tamara says:

I think this particular topic is SOOOO overlooked (well, i think family planning in general is overlooked, but thas neither here nor there).

I am pretty much like you and i call it my “Motherhood Pendulum”. One moment its swinging to stingingly painful, lump-in-my-throat baby fever and then the next, babies scare the boo boo outta me. Then an iffy, ambivalent, babies-scare-the-begeezus-out-of-him-all-the-time husband doesnt make it any better.

I dunno, im told over and over again that being this analytical about parenthood will make me that much better of a parent. Of course that is yet to be seen and it still doesnt make me feel any more sure, lol. Im hoping that one day, i will be VERY glad I was as meticulous (sp?) about this decision as I am.

Oh man, I very much relate to the indecision. And also the over-analyzing.

As a mother of 3 kids, I can tell you, if you wait until you are 100% sure for even, um 10 minutes, it’ll probably never happen. There will always be doubts, reservations, what-if’s–even after you get pregnant, even after the baby comes, even after 3 babies come! You’ll wonder if you’re really cut out for this, if you’re gonna screw up your kids, if you’re unselfish and loving enough to care for a helpless little person night and day . . .

The thing is, no one really is. No one is really ever 100% “ready” to be a parent. Everyone starts out not knowing what they’re doing, and usually 5 years later, it’s still a little fuzzy sometimes!

But parenting is all about the process. It’s not knowing THE right way to do every thing and getting it all right the first time. You learn as you go, and let me tell you, you grow soooo much in the process. I honestly don’t think there’s any other way to become the kind of person you need to be to be a good parent–other than actually becoming a parent and giving it your best shot!

Anonymous says:

I feel your pain!

Kelly says:

Okay, you are seriously hilarious! Is this just a natural trait of journalist? You analyze things to death? Good grief girlfriend.

But you are crackin’ me up over here. I am sure it will all work out just right. You will look back and think, “What the heck was I worried about anyways?”

If I got my own way most of my life, my life would be a wreck. That includes the timing of my precious girls! Heavenly Father knew me before I was his Spirit child. And then (for how long?) He knew me as a learned and grew as His spirit child. So, there’s NO way I can make a truly good decision for me when He knows me far better than I can remember!

Having said that, I do make plans and I do try to figure things out. But as I get older I am becoming much more flexible to giving up my own plans and desires to His. His have proven, over and over again, to be SO much better!!!!

Mama Nut says:

I honestly can’t relate to much to this. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and I knew that I would be when the time is right. When we got married, we had no jobs, my husband was starting school, we had no money, we lived in a tiny trailer. But we knew that there would be no greater joy then being a parent. So we took the leap of faith and got pregnant. For some reason we always seemed to have enough. Who cares if our kids aren’t wearing namebrands or have the best toys? My sons LOVE playing in cardboard boxes. We now have 2 boys, the oldest is special needs, my husband is still at school and works part time at Wal-mart. Materialistically, we are poor. Spiritually we are wealthy beyond measure. We have great joy in our lives! I can’t imagine not choosing to have kids… I could have wasted so many years, missed out on so many blessings.

Don’t take this wrong, but I feel sad for you in a way. I mean here you are day after day blogging about having a baby. It is obviously on your mind all the time. I think, instead of blogging about what if, you could take the next step and be blogging about the miracle of pregnancy, and on to blogging about your baby. There is a whole new world waiting out there for you. But ultimately, it is your choice. Where is your heart? It seems to me it is on a baby. Otherwise, maybe you would be blogging about something else.

Don’t be scared. You seem like a wonderful, wonderful person! You will be a great mother!! I don’t see what you are so worried about.

I love reading your blog, and you totally crack me up! And I am really looking forward to reading the post proclaiming your pregnancy someday:) Have a great night!

Ms. Bar B: says:

Lol… I don’t think anything is ever 100%… things just “are” at any given time, in any given context. Motherhood will never be one way or the other. Its not an either/or situation, but rather a both/and situation. I am sure that whenever you become a mommy, whether planned on schedule or unplanned not on schedule, you will be extremely good at it in every way that truly matters.

lozzi84 says:

I have incredibly indecisive moments (especially when buying mundane items such as toothpaste lol) just like you.
This is the reason I’m happy the baby decision was taken out of my hands and I got pregnant by accident.
I am a strong beleiver in fate and I think if something is meant to happen it will.
I think if you set a period of time (say 2 months) where you note your baby feelings each day and you want a baby more than you don’t then do it.
It can take some women 1 cycle to fall pregnant and it can take others months, sometimes years to become pregnant. If its meant to be it will be, and trust me once you know you have a precious new life growing inside you all the indecisiveness about being ready will melt away (to be replaced with a whole load of new decisions, what pram? what color nursery? what name? lol)
Whatever you decide will be right for you :o)

Jaime says:

I am amazed at all the thoughts that run through your mind about this topic. I guess after 4+ years of trying to conceive and being unsuccessful until help from the F word, I just went with the flow. Good for you though for trying to be prepared in all aspects. You will be a GREAT mom!

I have never felt 100% about anything in my life so I don’t know that I could hold myself to that standard for this decision. Sometimes I wish you would just get pregnant! Life is different after you have a baby but it doesn’t stop. You can still do things, just in a different way. You and Brian aren’t homebodies as it is, you’re not going to be those parents who never leave the house. You’ll just have this beautiful little child with you to do play groups and meet young mom friends and blog about what it’s like to have an infant and a life!

HI! My two cents. Is there is no 100% ready… until the child pops out and you hold them. I was ready… meaning I wanted and hubs wanted a baby and there was no conflicts… during the pregnancy you worry “am I really ready” but your in it.. and that’s what you do! Then the baby get here and your so happy you finally made the decision!

OMG Pregnant says:

I know how you feel.

When I found out I was pregnant, a few weeks after I went to see my dad and had a rant through bucket loads of tears: how do I know if I am ready? How would I know what to do? Is my life over? Am I ready for it? How do I know now is the right time?

My dad let me have my moment, and get it all out. But then gave me a really sound piece of advice, it went something like this:

You will never feel ready enough, but you will be ready. You will never feel like you know what you need to do, but you’ll do the right things anyway…

I can’t remember his exact words, but they were to that affect. My advice is to you is just go with it…

And don’t stop writing your blogs!! xxxxx

Bev says:

Hi, I am visiting from sits! what an adorable blog. My son is like that about decisions. Whatever you decide it will be okay but honestly you are never truly ready for s baby but it will be okay!

Oh my! Girl my head literally spins just reading your entry here..i don’t even wanna know how it actually feels in your head..oh wait .. i probably have a clue… i am like this sometimes..but i have a wonderful husband who’s the rock in our home and i know i can rely on him to reassure me which way to go when I’m such a mess. I can’t give you an advice baby-making-wise.. cause we’re not having one yet.. but whatevah’ you decide , it will be the best decision you’ll make for sure. You will love your baby and you will find your way out through any difficulties that may raise. I wish you all the best!Hope you’ll figure things out!

Happy Saturday!

(coming here from SITS)

My oh my. I never thought about the baby thing. Just happened. I think if I had thought about it, I might still be thinking about it. LOL. Cute Post though. Made me smile and giggle.
Popping in from SITS to wish you a good morning.

Robbie says:

Hi, just stopping over from SITS. Girl, you are funny! Have a great weekend!I hope you will visit again.

Bets says:

“Motherhood pendulum” is totally my experience. I never decided, really, but i happened to get pregnant at 43!

In my life, every time I have decided that something was a good idea, made a detailed plan and worked on it, it has ended in disappointment (and often full-scale disaster.) When I have happened into things accidentally, they have worked out to be significant and good – not every second is perfect, of course, but positive in the long run. It’s how I got my education, my husband, my career and now my son.

Becky says:

Hey Jen,

Becky here and am definitely in the same boat as you 🙂 I LOVE this blog and all these comments. One common consensus on here, though, seems to be not to wait for your husband to be ready?? I am just a little bit curious about it (maybe a topic idea? 😉 I don’t know why it caught me so off guard, but I definitely don’t want to get pregnant if my husband isn’t as ecstatic as me to be on this journey. Maybe these are too high of expectations… Just curious 🙂

I know how you feel – been there – and now have two awesome kids. I too have a career, and was never even sure that I wanted to have kids. Once I was married to my wonderful husband I knew I did, I just didn’t know when. We finally decided together that we’d never be ready and that if we wanted kids and didn’t want to use a can to go to their college graduation, we had better get started because it can take a year to get pregnant once you’re in your mid-30s as I was.

So we got going, and 3 mos later, whoosh, I was pregnant. When we came home from the hospital, my mom and husband both went out to different stores to get stuff I needed. I couldn’t believe they left me home alone. What if the baby cried (which she did). The hospital doesn’t exactly send you home with a manual. Luckily, my best girlfriend and her then 5-year old arrived to hold my hand.

Kids are awesome (when they’re not whining or screaming which is 50% of the time 😉 If you’re at all like I was, you may never be ready, but if you want children, you need to get going some time. Good luck. I enjoyed reading some of your posts!

Best,
Tori
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest For Balance (http://www.zoefoods.com/blog)

Sarah says:

Fellow indecisive soul here. I’m pretty sure that had I waited until I was 100% sure I was ready for kids that I never would have had them. We just decided to go for it and now we have three.

Quel says:

I’m just like you when it comes to the toothpaste thing. I change brands every time. Saved myself some mental energy by buying bulk from SAM’s this time around. Now I don’t have to think about toothpaste until Thanksgiving! 🙂

And we all g back and forth before we know for sure. You’ll get there.

Lynn says:

My sister in law told me one day ‘I don’t think I’m mother material’. Just as quick as she said it, I told her “then you aren’t” because even mothers who were prepared (typically married, savings, stability) are NOT! Nothing absolutely nothing can prepare you for the war that is raising a child to become a walking, talking, functioning human being. If it’s something you want, I say just do it. But be prepared for the unpredictable. Greeting from Debby Downer :o) Kids are great, but sticky.

My best, Lynn
http://safebeauty.blogspot.com

Carebear says:

Dropping by from SITS to say hello. I once read in Cosmo that you should “never wait until you’re 100% sure to get married, or you’ll never do it.” The same applies to having kids IMHO. There will always be doubts, and you will always feel like you could have a bigger house, more money, better hours at work, etc… When we got pregnant, we were scared to death because it wasn’t the perfect time – I’d just started a new career, but God had other plans for us. And we couldn’t be happier with how our life turned out! Good luck to you!

Thanks for coming over to my blog future mom.. loved coming here to read the posts and yeah, your ramblings are yours, no matter how big.. its great that you can share things according to your views in your own manner.. 🙂

I dint wait and got kids soon after i married.. hehe.. now happy with a 9 year old boy, and a two n a half toddler girl.. so right things happen in the right time.. 🙂

College girl says:

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monica says:

You are very funny! Stopping by from SITS! Congrats on being #1 comment on Sunday! YAY!

SweetWifey says:

i agree that you’ll probably never feel 100% ready–emotionally, that is. i think as long as economically you all are stable/ready, then go for it. i have a feeling you are ready now, but just a bit scared at the prospect of something so life changing. and that is completely natural. we all experience that.

agreeing with this: “If we waited until my husband was ready we’d still be waiting, he’s ready once reality hits him.”

Cher says:

HA! This is SOO me! I take forever to make stupid little decisions too….and big ones, too. I’d rather someone just choose for me and then I’ll just have to deal with it! 🙂

I think doubts are so natural. My husband and I tried and hoped and prayed and wanted this baby (I’m 32 weeks pregnant right now).

And even still, half the time I was all “Is this the right choice? What about this? And that? And the other thing? Maybe we should wait? Blah blah blah.”

When you’re pregnant, you still have doubts, but they change. Now you know you want the baby, but DO YOU WANT IT ENOUGH? And I’m sure once the baby is in your arms, there are more doubts, different doubts. I think it’s just part of the process.

If you were a friend of mine, I’d say don’t get too tied up in it. Does it feel right, does having a family feel right? Yes? Then you’re ready, even if you don’t think you are. No? Then maybe hold off awhile; no harm, no foul.

LeNesha says:

I can absolutely relate! I will literally stand in the lotion, soap, milk, anything aisle for 20 minutes debating over what brand and kind of something I want to purchase. Granted, I’m sure the brands haven’t changed drastically since the last shopping trip, so you’d think I’d be able to just grab and go the next trip I make. Nope, I seriously go through this debate every shopping trip…lol…glad I’m not alone.

It is natural to go back and forth between decisions. In fact, I think a lot of women are like that…must be something to do with hormones. Anyways, at some point, you’re going to have to make the decision to just go for it. If you wait on absolute certainty and on never having any type of 2nd thought, you may never get there. Just my two cents.

Have a beautiful day,
LeNesha

Marly says:

I am totally like you when buying something at the store. I have to weigh its pro’s and con’s. It really is depressing. oh and I’m a Gemini, so sorry, that theory doesn’t work with us.

I think you do whats best for you. People can say things and give you advice, which is great, but what worked for them or happened to them isn’t neccesarily going to be what will work or happen with you. I mean I got pregnant at 20, had my first at 21. I am so thankful I did even though for the first 3 years I had regrets. I love my kids. I love where we are currently. I love that I will be able to go to college while my oldest is in Jr high. I love that, even though it was hard, I did a new baby while my husband was in school. I had my second the year he graduated, a few months before. For me, this worked out. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I was young but you know, it worked for us and its really what I needed for myself to figure out life. I am a totally different person today because I had my kids young.

Now, I would never tell someone else what to do. I can share my own experience but it doesn’t mean I think everyone should do what I did.

SweetWifey says:

i agree that you’ll probably never feel 100% ready–emotionally, that is. i think as long as economically you all are stable/ready, then go for it. i have a feeling you are ready now, but just a bit scared at the prospect of something so life changing. and that is completely natural. we all experience that.

agreeing with this: “If we waited until my husband was ready we’d still be waiting, he’s ready once reality hits him.”

College girl says:

Excellent blog, nice post. I love the contents and thoughts. I am so proud to vote for this beautiful blog. I VOTED FOR YOU, I recommend your blog to many of my friends. I expect they will Vote for u soon. I hope you will grace me with your precious Vote.Just copy this link to your browser
http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/69551

Becky says:

Hey Jen,

Becky here and am definitely in the same boat as you 🙂 I LOVE this blog and all these comments. One common consensus on here, though, seems to be not to wait for your husband to be ready?? I am just a little bit curious about it (maybe a topic idea? 😉 I don’t know why it caught me so off guard, but I definitely don’t want to get pregnant if my husband isn’t as ecstatic as me to be on this journey. Maybe these are too high of expectations… Just curious 🙂

I know how you feel – been there – and now have two awesome kids. I too have a career, and was never even sure that I wanted to have kids. Once I was married to my wonderful husband I knew I did, I just didn’t know when. We finally decided together that we’d never be ready and that if we wanted kids and didn’t want to use a can to go to their college graduation, we had better get started because it can take a year to get pregnant once you’re in your mid-30s as I was.

So we got going, and 3 mos later, whoosh, I was pregnant. When we came home from the hospital, my mom and husband both went out to different stores to get stuff I needed. I couldn’t believe they left me home alone. What if the baby cried (which she did). The hospital doesn’t exactly send you home with a manual. Luckily, my best girlfriend and her then 5-year old arrived to hold my hand.

Kids are awesome (when they’re not whining or screaming which is 50% of the time 😉 If you’re at all like I was, you may never be ready, but if you want children, you need to get going some time. Good luck. I enjoyed reading some of your posts!

Best,
Tori
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest For Balance (http://www.zoefoods.com/blog)

Thanks for coming over to my blog future mom.. loved coming here to read the posts and yeah, your ramblings are yours, no matter how big.. its great that you can share things according to your views in your own manner.. 🙂

I dint wait and got kids soon after i married.. hehe.. now happy with a 9 year old boy, and a two n a half toddler girl.. so right things happen in the right time.. 🙂

Robbie says:

Hi, just stopping over from SITS. Girl, you are funny! Have a great weekend!I hope you will visit again.

Ms. Bar B: says:

Lol… I don’t think anything is ever 100%… things just “are” at any given time, in any given context. Motherhood will never be one way or the other. Its not an either/or situation, but rather a both/and situation. I am sure that whenever you become a mommy, whether planned on schedule or unplanned not on schedule, you will be extremely good at it in every way that truly matters.

Mama Nut says:

I honestly can’t relate to much to this. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and I knew that I would be when the time is right. When we got married, we had no jobs, my husband was starting school, we had no money, we lived in a tiny trailer. But we knew that there would be no greater joy then being a parent. So we took the leap of faith and got pregnant. For some reason we always seemed to have enough. Who cares if our kids aren’t wearing namebrands or have the best toys? My sons LOVE playing in cardboard boxes. We now have 2 boys, the oldest is special needs, my husband is still at school and works part time at Wal-mart. Materialistically, we are poor. Spiritually we are wealthy beyond measure. We have great joy in our lives! I can’t imagine not choosing to have kids… I could have wasted so many years, missed out on so many blessings.

Don’t take this wrong, but I feel sad for you in a way. I mean here you are day after day blogging about having a baby. It is obviously on your mind all the time. I think, instead of blogging about what if, you could take the next step and be blogging about the miracle of pregnancy, and on to blogging about your baby. There is a whole new world waiting out there for you. But ultimately, it is your choice. Where is your heart? It seems to me it is on a baby. Otherwise, maybe you would be blogging about something else.

Don’t be scared. You seem like a wonderful, wonderful person! You will be a great mother!! I don’t see what you are so worried about.

I love reading your blog, and you totally crack me up! And I am really looking forward to reading the post proclaiming your pregnancy someday:) Have a great night!

AudreyStarJ says:

I hope you’re able to calm down soon. You’re gonna stress yourself out, girl! a baby is just part of life…God will help you, pray. God bless! Love your blog!

Omgirl says:

Hi! I just clicked over to your blog after seeing that you met my sister, Jennie, at beehiveandbirdsnest. I love your blog! And I can totally relate about going back and forth. I actually didn’t get the option with my first child. When we finally decided we were ready, God wasn’t. A year and a half later I was so desperate for a baby that being actually ready wasn’t a thought that entered my mind. Until I got pregnant, and then I wondered if I was ready– too late! But now I’m considering #3. And I go back and forth back and forth sometimes from day to day, like you. So here are my thoughts: 1) It’s true, you’re never 100% ready. You will always vascilate because there will always be other options for your life. But when you feel that you want it more than often than you don’t, and you can’t think of any MAJOR reasons to wait, then just do it. The joy you get from having a child will over-ride most of the issues you might have waited to resolve. 2)Don’t wait for your man to be ready. I mean, if he says, “I absolutely do NOT want a child right now,” then wait. But if he’s like, “Yeah, maybe a baby sometime soon,” then he’s as ready as he’s ever going to get. Men FREAK OUT about babies until they are actually born. Even during pregnancy, they freak out. But once the baby is there, they are in love. 3) If you’re even a slightly religious person, ask God. Sometimes that’s the one thing that can make the best decision for you. YOU might take 5 years to decide and never know if it’s the right time. But if God says, “Yep, now,” you know everything is going to work out, right? Good luck!

adiaha says:

Hi, I came to your blog via HomeGirl.typepad.com and am enjoying my visit. I can so relate to you about the decision making part of life. It seems so hard sometimes but we must bit the bullet and committ at some point right. COmmitting to a child is a big thing because you can’t really just give them back (well some people do but we don’t really like them). I have two daughters (7 years old and 8 months old) and I am so in love and happy with my decision. You will know when it is time to make that choice for yourself. I must tell you the committment is a journey with bumps bends and straightaways. One thing I learned after becomeing a mother is to trust myself 100%. My instincts are so spot on when it comes to my children. It makes decision making so much easier. Good Luck. I’ll be back. Peace.

InSain says:

I actually think it’s Capricorn thing lol. I’m the same way right now. But I’m really thinking of siding with just doing it.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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