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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

You know how when you’re looking so closely at something, you can get so absorbed in it and forget about the rest of the room? Sometimes you can be standing so close to a situation that you can’t remember what the big picture looks like.

I’ve had to take a step back and breathe for a moment as I try to gauge what’s happening in the world right now.

A week ago I finally heaved off a heavy weight I’d had sitting on my chest for months. I sat down and wrote everything I was feeling. It was like mental diarrhea. I just let it all out and onto a word document. Then I debated if I wanted to show it to anyone, who I wanted to read it, and wondered what kind of impact it would have. Because I feel like I’m living in an unusual paradox that allows me to feel deeply from multiple perspectives, I decided to share, hoping maybe it could give some more perspective to others I guess. So I sent it to the Huffington Post on a whim, and they published it on their Parents Blog the next day.

Since then, and unrelated to my confession of emotions, bad news just keeps coming. I can’t open up Facebook without being inundated with hatred and sadness. I know this anger comes from a place of frustration, and sometimes online feels like the only safe place to share it, but my mind can’t take much more poison. Life must go on. I can’t succumb to the sadness, I have two kids who just want to be kids and too much in life to enjoy and celebrate.

Sometimes you’ve got to step back and look at the big picture in order to gain perspective. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best–That’s generally how I’ve tried to do things. There is still so much good in the world. In my community, and in my home. Unfortunately I can’t shield our kids from the bad forever, but I can choose to highlight the good. It’s just that sometimes, being so close to the situation makes that harder to do.

Is it just me, or is the world coming apart?

Excuse me, my tone, it’s been one of those weeks months. I’ll be chipper again tomorrow.

 

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This week I watched the Gabby Douglas Story on Netflix and was amazed by her passion and drive at such a young age. Watching a child who started out as a poor young girl doing cartwheels in the house to Olympic gold medalist is nothing short of inspiring.

As I watched her story I kept telling myself ‘some people are born to do what they do.’ They may be walking around with a dormant talent waiting to be discovered. And once they get a taste of their innate passion, they become unstoppable.

tiny ballerinaGrowing up I wanted to participate in any and every club I could get my hands on. Odyssey of the Mind, Girl Scouts, geography club, you name it. But once I discovered public speaking and broadcast classes, I knew I had found my place.

I soaked in the nightly news and practiced sounding like the anchors and reporters. Reading stories to my siblings and classmates was never a chore, but a chance to hone my skills.

By the time I got to high school and college, I was well aware of what I wanted to do and looked out for any and every opportunity to get myself closer to my dream. It was nothing short of an obsession. It paid off in a full-ride scholarship and career I’m still enjoying while raising my family.

I can only hope that my children are as passionate about something as they grow up. That intense desire and focus can help keep kids out of trouble, and concentrating on what they really enjoy. But how do you cast a wide enough net without overscheduling everyone?

tiny ballerinaLil’ J is currently enrolled in a gymnastics class twice a week as well as a ballet/tap/tumbling and a hip hop class. After months of begging me to try ballet I finally obliged, but then she told me she would like to do a hip hop class after seeing me do mine, and taking family Zumba together. The gymnastics is just a part a mother’s morning out program I desperately need, but she’s really getting into it.

Part of me wonders if I’m going overboard, and another part of me wonders when we’ll notice that spark of passion in her. How long does it take? Should we try a musical instrument next? Or a sport like softball? WHEN WILL SHE TELL ME SHE WANTS TO BE AN OLYMPIAN?

Just kidding.

Supporting our tiny gymnastI don’t care if my kids are the best at something, but I do hope that they find something they love. That something that they wake up thinking about and go to bed dreaming about.

My kids might never have a Netflix documentary about them, but I hope to help document their excitement as they discover what they were born to do.

Do you have a passion? I really curious how common it is. Has your child found theirs? 

I mentioned a couple posts back how having family around changes so much. What I failed to mention is how much it keeps me busy, entertained, and away from my blog. It’s good and bad. Good cause I’m having IRL (in real life) fun, but bad cause… Well, I love this space for documenting my life and thoughts and I don’t want to disappear off the map. If I die tomorrow I want my kids to know I died obsessing over these things in my last few weeks of life.

Please excuse my lack of photos. If I wait until I choose the perfect ones I won’t publish this until next week and I could be dead by then.

1. The gym. Since my sister moved here and one of my BFFs rejoined the Y we’ve been taking classes together and getting my workout on. This is going to sound cray but I’d like to lose 20 pounds and 2 pants sizes in 7 months. It’s the same size I was pre-pregnancy with both kids so it’s gotta be possible, I’m just not convinced I can lose it all while I’m still nursing.

2. 5 Love Languages. I’m 75% done with the book and I can’t help but ask every married person I come into contact with if they’ve read it. Regardless of their answer I ask them which love language they speak and analyze their relationship. I had requested a digital copy of this book from my library months ago and was 18th in line on the hold list. Once my turn came up I missed the 3-day checkout period and was bumped back to 13th in line.

Finally I got the book this week and I’ve been immersed in the message. It makes so much sense to me and I really think it’s going to be a nice “reboot” for my marriage, which is almost 10 underway. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, or want to share your love language, please, indulge me.

3. Breaking Bad. My husband and I started watching this together about a month ago and we’re hooked. I know, we’re like seven years behind or something, but it’s nice to watch a show that isn’t going to make us sit and wait through holiday and summer breaks to see what happens next.

4. Hip Hop Dance Lessons. One night, some friends and I were talking about how much we love to dance and how we wished we were good. I looked up classes at a local dance studio (the same one Lil’ J is taking lessons at) and we decided to take one together. We just started and are all pretty hilarious-looking right now, but we have dreams of being mistaken as Beyonce’s backup dancers by the time we’re done.

I just ordered knee pads for some of the floorwork we are learning, so it’s about to get real.

5. The Difficulty of Raising Two Kids. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it’s something I’m obsessing over… Ever since my son started walking I feel like things geared up and got 10xs harder. He’s busy busy, all over the place. He’s SO CUTE, which makes it easier to handle, but chasing him around plus entertaining my now four-year-old with endless questions leaves me pooped by the end of the day. Luckily for me, they are worth obsessing over, and the other stuff I have going on seems to keep me happily balanced.

What are you obsessing over lately?

Just a little teeny tiny rant, I promise.

My to-do list is piling up once again, both at work and at home. In fact I don’t know which is longer. In order to get everything done that I need to do I imagine I’d have to stay awake 24 hours, every day for the next three months.

Not really, but that’s how it feels.

That to-do before #2 list? Totally back burner, I have a new, more urgent to-do before #2 list that I wrote up last night. Things like setting up a place for the baby to sleep, getting Lil’ J a new bed so the baby can have a crib. And then more enjoyable things like sewing nursery decorations and baby clothes.

I still have my regular tasks at work, and side-writing jobs I need to not fall behind on stay on top of, and even get ahead in some cases. There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

I’m debating putting in more hours at work to get ahead, and implementing earlier bed times, and implementing a currently non-existent weekend nap time for my first-born, so I can accomplish everything. But then comes the fear that I’m going to regret my manic antics once the baby comes. My daughter’s last few months as an only child may become a blur, and a month into having a new baby I’ll be cursing my 3-month-younger-self for not saying “screw it” and sleeping in while I could.

There I go again with the fear of making the wrong choice.

Here is where I get positive…

I can do this. If I’ve managed to balance a million things with one child well by golly, I’m going to do it better than ever these last three months. And my husband reminded me that I’ll have 12 weeks off with my oldest daughter anyway, so even if her last 11 weeks as an only child wind up in a whirlwind, her first few months as a big sister will be with her mama by her side, helping her transition. 

Let the countdown commence. A million things to do, 10 weeks 4 days to go!

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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