Posts Tagged ‘she says/ she says’

My daughter and I sat side by side at the kitchen table while she worked on a Valentine’s art project for school. We sipped on some colorful Tampico to match, and had a little girl chat. She told me one of her friends is in love with a boy. I didn’t realize these conversations started so young. I mean I thought 5-year-olds still had cooties.

I asked her if she was in love with anyone and she told me no.

Discussing love with your children

“Not even with me?” I asked.

“NO!” She said. “Daddy is in love with you! But I love you!”

Ok… My 5-year-old was suddenly schooling me on love. How did she know the difference between parental and romantic love? Seriously, how is this happening?

“I have to be in love with a boy,” she said. A hundred thoughts shot through my mind in that instant but the one that came out of my mouth first was the one that rang most important in that instant.

“Well, you can tell me when you are. And that may be a long LONG time time from now.”

As we sat and I watched her painting her colorful Valentine box and I thought about how much I love her. How much I love her love of arts and crafts, her colorful and bright spirit, and her quest to learn more and more about the world. Her innocence and natural sense of kindness. I want her to stay young. And I only want her to love me (and her dad and brother, ok and other family) for at least the next decade and a half.

*Frantically searches for the pause button*

Discussing love with your children

At the time of this post Lil J is 5 years and 7 months.

*This story was brought to you in partnership with Tampico. For more photos of my girl and her cute Valentine box visit Tampico is Color.  

She says: Mom, why are you wearing makeup?

She says: Because I’m getting ready for work.

She says: Oh, does it make you feel pretty?

She says: Sometimes… But makeup isn’t what makes us beautiful is it?

She saysNooooo!

She says: That’s right. What do you think makes someone beautiful?

She says: Pretty dresses.

She says: You know what I think makes someone beautiful?

She says: What?

She says: When someone is nice to people, and helps other people smile.

She says: And makeup! … Just kidding. *laughs*

Mother daughter #feelbeautifulfor

Right now anything sparkly, glittery, yellow or shiny catches her eye as beautiful. As she gets older I’m sure her idea of beauty will evolve, but I hope she always remembers (with my help) that true beauty lies within.

One discussion we tend to have a lot is about hair. Oh the curly hair struggle. I talk more about deciding to stop straightening my hair and wear my curls in their natural state with my little girl in this video.

*This post is sponsored by Dove. All opinions (and typos) are my own.


I was taking a mental break from my kids in our bedroom when I overheard a conversation between my husband and our daughter. The exact details of the conversation are a little fuzzy to me but they were having some kind of conversation about money and working when this part struck out at me.

He says: Oh yea, well are you going to go get a job?
She says: What?
He says: Are you going to go to work?
She says: No, I’m a girl.

*Record Screech*

Daddy-daughter-birthday-2-blogHow could such words come out of my daughter’s mouth? MY daughter! Have I taught her nothing? Does she not remember the countless weekend spent at my news station watching me anchor the news? All of the books we’ve read about girls and women doing big things. The many times I’ve told her she can do anything. And all the times I’ve asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up. Where in the world did this come from?!

I debated jumping out of bed and into the conversation, but I didn’t want to give up my location, and I kind of wondered how my husband would respond.

He says: So? Girls work.
She says: No they don’t.
He says: Yes they do.
She says: But I’m a LITTLE girl.
He says: You can’t work because you’re a kid?
She says: Yea.
He says: Okay.

Oh to understand the inner workings of a child. And to think I started to wonder if my recent stint as a mom who works from home was giving her the impression that women can’t, and don’t work. Silly me.

She says/ She says: A funny conversation between a mother and child negotiating for another sibling.

she says: Mommy, you have a big tummy cause a baby is coming out.
She says: No I don’t.
she says: Yes you do, cause grown up mommy’s have big tummies for the babies.
She says: Oh really?
she says: Yea! Mommy, I want us to have THREE babies.
She says: How many do we have now?
she says: One. Actually, you call me baby, so two.
She says: Ok, so how many more do we need?
she says: One.
She says: Then how many will we have?
she says: Three.

She says/ She says: A funny conversation between a mother and child negotiating for another sibling.She says (to my husband): Do you hear this?
He says: Yes, her teacher says she’s really good at subtraction.
She says: Well if she’s at good at negotiating as she is at math we may be in trouble.

I’m continuously impressed by the retention abilities of my three-year-old. She’ll spout out new words, phrases, songs, and I’ll ask her where in the world she learned it, and she’ll confess the source.

happy-little-girl Earlier this week I was tucking her into bed when she said, “Give me a big squeeze you mommy you!” And jumped into my arms and hugged me as tight as she could. I squeezed her back. It was totally cute, but I’d never heard her say that before so I asked her where she learned to do that.

She says: Your friend. Remember, she was in the car with you? What’s her name again?
She says: I’m not sure, what does she look like?
She says: Umm, she has two eyes, and hair… Do you remember her name now?

I tried to stifle my laugh.

She says: Not yet, what else does she look like?
She says: She had a yellow dress on, and a pretty bracelet that I really liked.

good-friendsFunny enough, at this point I actually knew exactly who she was talking about. –One of my friends who came to visit almost a month ago. I was a little surprised she hadn’t thought to point out hair color, hair length or skin color, especially since she seemed to be full of brown-skin questions a couple months ago.

She says: Oh you mean Ms. Zandra?
She says: Yes! Ms. Zandra. She told me that! And that boy she was with… He had NO HAIR!

She giggled. “That boy” was Zandra’s husband.

She says: That’s right.
She says: How come he didn’t have hair?
She says: I don’t know, I guess because he shaved it off.
She says: No, he said it’s because he went to sleep like this *pretends to sleep and snore* And then he woke up and his hair was all gone!

We both laughed.

I love how excited she is to learn about the world. I love that she can’t wait to learn. I can say something like “that’s spectacular!” and she’ll ask me to explain what spectacular means. Next thing I know she’s using it in a sentence. Same thing goes for mannerisms.


Lately I’m hypersensitive to the way I’m acting and responding to situations, especially frustrating ones. She’s watching and learning from my every move. Now’s the time for me to teach her, and build a strong foundation for how she should act in the future. It’s my hope that she’ll be strong enough to withstand temptation to follow the crowd when they may be acting rude, or disrespectful. I don’t want the world to ruin her sweet compassionate spirit.

I know I can’t shield her from people who will hurt her feelings, or teach her things I disapprove of, but when it comes to new things she picks up, I hope to be one of the strongest influences in her life.

As for bear hugs for mommy… Those are always good in my book.

March 2014 – Lil’ J is currently 3 years and 8 months old.

I was straightening up in the kitchen when my daughter runs up to me with a folded 10-dollar-bill in her hand.

She says: Here mommy, I want you to have this.
She says: Aww, thank you baby, but I don’t need your money.
She says: Yes, you do. I want you to have it, because I want you to always have money.
She says: That’s sweet baby girl, but it’s ok. It’s your money, you can put this back in your piggy bank.
She says: No, I want to give it to you. Because when we’re at the store and you say you don’t have any money, you can have money.

piggybankIt was then I realized that her generous offer actually had selfish motives.

When we are out and she asks for something I don’t feel like buying, I ask her if she remembered to bring her money. She looks at each of her empty hands with exasperation and frustration.

“Sorry, I didn’t bring my money either,” I tell her. Technically I use my cards but I excuse my fib by thinking of it in a literal sense, and since it’s normally a vending machine she’s making requests at, it’s the truth.

I guess paying me off is one way to make sure she gets what she wants when she wants it.

My husband and I never sat down and discussed an official discipline policy for our kids. We both know that each child may respond to various tactics differently, whether it is a time out, a talking to, or a spanking.

Growing up I didn’t get time outs, or even spankings. My dad gave what we called whoopings. As in, “go grab the belt, you’re getting a whoopin.” Yea, ouch.

My mom only spanked me a handful of times. I think once with a flip-flop, another time with a wooden spoon. It never hurt, but I was smart enough to pretend like it did so she thought I learned my lesson. Trust me, it was better than the alternative.

I definitely don’t see belt whoopings in our disciplinary future, but I will admit to giving a whimpy spankin a time or two. Something to get her attention, but never anything I’d consider remotely damaging.

My husband on the other hand, has given a firmer hand a few times, and in turn, she tends to take him more seriously when he asks her to do something she may not feel like doing.

Most of our frustrations revolve around bedtime. We go through a long bedtime routine, read stories, sing songs, and say prayer. Then moments after leaving her room she’s coming out wanting to talk, see what we’re doing; sleep in our bed, or whatever. On nights her daddy is off, she usually stays in her room. On the nights he’s working, she usually doesn’t. Which can be troublesome since that’s usually when I get a lot of my work done.

sassy-toddlerDesperate to convince her to stay in her room I did what any good parent would do. I threatened her.

But it didn’t go like I had planned.

She says: You need to stay in your room and go to sleep tonight ok?
She says: Well, I will for a minute, but then I’m going to come out.
She says: No, you need to stay in your room or you’re going to get a spanking.
She says: Ok.
She says: Ok, you’ll stay in your room?
She says: No, I want a spankin.
She says: Not you don’t.
She says: Yes I do. I do want a spankin.
She says (trying to contain my laughter): Why?
She says: Because last time you gave me a spankin it didn’t hurt.
She says: Well it will hurt this time, so stay in your room.

I leave before she can notice I’m laughing, which would only further encourage her bedtime delaying antics.

But sure enough, just a few minutes later she’s wandering over to me.

She says: What are you doing out of your room? Do you want a spankin now?
She says: Yes. (with a smile)
She says: Ok then, turn around.

Without hesitation she turns her back to me, and I give her a swat on her bottom. —Harder than my petty pats in the past, but nothing to really cry about.

She says (under her breath): Ok. But that didn’t hurt.
She says: Do you want it to hurt?
She says: No.
She says: Then let’s go back to your room. I’ll tuck you in.

Needless to say, I’ve moved on to a different tactic (maybe this was her plan all along). I’m trying a rewards-based sticker chart for incentives to stay in her room at night. So far it has about a 50% success rate.

I haven’t threatened her with a spanking since then, and thankfully, she hasn’t asked for one either.

It’s Tuesday March 4th, 2014. Miss J is currently 3 years and 8 months old.

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget


I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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