Posts Tagged ‘natural hair’

There were a lot of things I couldn’t stand about my husband working the late shift. I hated all the worrying, doing dinner and bedtime with the kids by myself, and going to bed alone. But with all the bad parts during that time in our lives, there was a little piece of good I looked forward to most nights. —A little tradition between me and my daughter.

Sometimes before, but usually after putting her little brother to bed, I’d pop some popcorn, sneak in some chocolates or marshmallows and detangle and twist her hair before bed while we watched a Disney movie.

Biracial hair upkeep

Mention the words “wash day” to any woman with natural hair and you’ll likely get a similar response. Maybe an exasperated sigh, or a nod of solidarity. Between my daughter and I, we could literally spend all day conditioning, detangling, moisturizing, and styling our hair. The struggle is real. But we manage. And we handle it as best as we can. It’s easier when I stay on top of it and detangle and pre-style her hair each night.

We started this when she was just two years old. Her hair was shorter and softer, so it didn’t take too much time. Sometimes I’d let her fall asleep in my bed until her dad got home.

The process has gotten lengthier as she’s gotten older and her hair has gotten longer. It can be a salty process but we sweeten it up with a treat and a movie. Through the years we take turns choosing a movie from our collection and she picks a snack. Sometimes it’s hot chocolate, or popcorn, or Yoplait Mix-ins. Like our hair process the Mix-ins have a salty or tart flavor on one side, and a sweet creamy dessert on the other. Tonight while I documented this process of ours we watched Aladdin while she enjoyed s’mores flavor with marshmallow-flavored yogurt on one side and chocolate and gram crackers on the other.

To others, we’re just doing hair and watching a movie but to us, it’s everything. Someday she’ll be old enough to wash and style her own hair. While a big part of me can’t wait for that day, another part of me knows I need to treasure this.

Thankfully, my evenings aren’t as stressful as they once were. My husband is on day shift (for now) so I get help with dinner and bedtime in the evenings, and I don’t have to go to bed alone. My daughter and I still have our washday traditions thought now they usually fall on a weekend. Through this experience we’ve learned how to take less than ideal situations and turn them into a positive.

How can we do that more in our lives? Finding the sweet in a salty situation, or adding a bit of our own. Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day. Let’s find that good.

Yoplait Mix-ins are creamy, traditional-style Yoplait yogurt combined with delicious, crunchy mix-ins. From S’Mores to Cheery Chocolate Almond, to Mint Chocolate Delight, find your favorite flavor at your local grocery store. My favorite right now is the Salted Caramel Pretzel and it’s totally hitting my pregnancy cravings. A big thanks to Yoplait for sponsoring today’s story.


I can’t believe it’s been about three years since I’ve written about our routine for washing my daughter’s curls.

We’ve updated the process a bit and I’ve been debating writing another post about it because our process hasn’t changed a ton, but we have added a few new tools to our mix.

Instead of breaking down our process step by step like I did here, I thought this time I’d address some FAQs including our updated products list, and include a video tutorial of how we wash.

Biracial hair washing FAQs and a tutorial

1. What products do you use?

We use a lot of the same products and I do switch things around now and then. Right now I still love Herbal Essence Hello Hydration conditioner and I use this alone without shampoo a lot. After swimming I like to use a dab of You Be-Natural Tangle Me Knot Shampoo to cleanse her scalp and hair. Then I’ll rinse and use the conditioner, and then rinse and use another conditioner (I love Curls Curly Q Coconut Dream conditioner) and finally for a leave-in moisturizer I bounce around between a few. One is Curly Q custard, which I’ve been using for years another is Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk but I mostly use that in a water-mix for spritzing and refreshing because I like it better on my hair. But my two new favorite leave-in moisturizer is You Be-Natural Botanical Soft Curls Curling Creme (and for my hair I use the custard for coiled textures) and my FAVORITE which is great if your curls are feeling really dry is the Shea Moisture Detangling Moisturizer.  I actually sectioned her hair and tried four products I alternate between and this one by far gave us the best results. I’d suggest if you have a bunch you play with try sectioning the hair and trying different products in each part.

2. What tools do you use?

Ok first off, a wide toothed comb is my best friend. I also like to use the Wet Brush. It doesn’t snag or rip the hair. I personally only use it when I’m washing the hair or if I’m brushing it into a pony tail before cheer practice after using a bit of moisturizer. I like to wash her hair in the sink so I can use the hose attachment. She usually lays down on the counter while I wash her hair with a pillow or paper towel roll under her neck. But a mom recently reached out to me saying she invented a tool to turn your bathtub or sink into a shampoo bowl. It’s called a Shampoo Buddy. We tried a prototype and my daughter said it was way more comfortable this way with the soft gel mold under her neck, and the spout helps funnel the water into the sink. It’s not for sail just yet but her Kickstarter is almost up. Chip in to the cause and get your own Shampoo Buddy once it’s hits the shelves (we hope it does!).

3. How often do you wash her hair?

Right now about once a week or so. Sometimes much longer (whoops) and sometimes more often, especially when she’s swimming a lot. But we’ve been trying to stay in the habit of moisturizing every-other night before bed. It makes a big difference. More on that in a bit.

4. How do you keep it from getting frizzy?

Staying on top of moisturizing. Oh man my daughter gets some frizzy hair. We all do when it’s dry. Frizziness is an indicator that you need a bit more moisture on the hair. I’ll re-spray the hair with a water mixture and finger-comb through it when I’m looking for a quick “refresh” of the curls.

5. What do you do between washes?

I mostly braid it up at night and sprits with moisturizer in the morning. I don’t let her wear her hair all down and out all the time lately just because she’s always flipping around or playing in the water. Often it’s in a pony or a bun for cheer. I’d like to get our of this habit though cause the tight bands all the time can cause breakage.

6. How do you manage it at night?

I did another video of that process in a vlog recently. I’ve since changed it a little. I do little sections when it is in need of a good detangling. But otherwise, I’m combining the hair now into one or two (three max) braids before bed. I find it keeps her curl pattern better than a bunch of twists. I still like the small twists as I’m working through the hair, but while it sets to dry, I like it to be in one big braid for easier take down later.

7. Does she sleep on it while wet?

Yep. I try to wring it out first so it’s not totally sopping, but it’s ok if it’s damp. She usually falls asleep with a satin bonnet to help with friction (and in turn frizz) but it usually falls off. She has satin pillowcases on her bed too and her hair comes out much nicer in the morning when she actually sleeps on them.

8. How long does your routine take?

Ummm. A long time. But the more we stay on top of it and do our evening hair routine every-other-night, the easier and faster the process. On bad wash days where we waited after swimming it could take hours to get through it. On days where we’ve been on top of it, the process may take under an hour.

9. Do you trim her hair yourself?

No. She’s had one trim when she had her hair straightened for a dance recital. She had it trimmed after it was straight a year ago which made it WAY shorter in it’s curly state. I’d like to try a curly trim next time to avoid such a loss in length. It seems like it’s just now gotten back to where it was before.

10. How do you do your son’s hair?

Not this extensively. He is usually in the bathtub or playing near the sink when I do his hair. I get it a little wet with a spray bottle then rub some conditioner in, spray most of it out, and rub in some leave-in moisturizer. It used to be much more difficult when his hair was longer. His curls have gotten bigger and he’s getting a little more patient with me now that he’s older. I’ll also sometimes try to do it when he’s napping.

Hopefully this helps answer questions you may have. If you have more leave a comment! And if you’re less of a video person and like to read a step-by-step routine check out this post or click the image below.

Mixed Hair Care

“Your curls are beautiful!”

“I love the way your curls bounce!”

“I love your curly hair!”

These are phrases I didn’t hear enough growing up, and words I don’t want my daughter to lack hearing.

I grew up wishing my hair was long, straight and flowey. I avoided going underwater in swimming pools, knowing if I did, my hair would revert to its curly state. In fact, earlier this year, Dove Hair found that 8 in 10 women feel pressure to wear their hair a certain way. For many, these pressures begin at an early age. I don’t want my little girl to feel this way.

After a lifetime of straightening my hair with heat every few weeks, I packed away the flat irons and stopped scheduling my hair appointments to set an example for my daughter. Together we’re navigating naturally curly hair styles, finding bows that don’t get stuck, and the best products we love. It’s an evolving process but we’re in it together.

Mommy and me natural hair.

Lil’ J has gone through phases where she’s wanted to straighten her hair, but after one experiment for a dance recital she hasn’t asked since. I’ve noticed her embracing her curly hair–Proudly drawing it in her self-portraits, and celebrating characters who have similar hair.

“Moana has hair like me mommy!” She was so excited to see another Disney princess with locs like hers, but they shared not only the same style, but the same color.

From hair, to weight, to skin color and down to shoes size, I want my kids–but especially my daughter, to have a healthy and positive outlook on body image. And I know that starts with me. Now I’m careful to celebrate not only her curls, but my own.

Mommy and me natural hair.

It took more than 25 years, but now I’m wearing my hair down, and proud, and swimming without fears of my natural hair. It’s not going to take my daughter her whole life to get where I am. We’re starting now.

Her curls are beautiful. Her curls are hers, and what God gave her, and I hope to help her grow up loving them as much as I do.

Mommy and me natural hair.

I’m passionate about raising my kids to be kind and confident adults who love who they are.–Which is why I partnered with Dove on this post. As a mothers, we can make a difference and help ensure ours daughters grows up feeling confident. I can celebrate the beauty of my daughter’s hair today–so she loves her hair tomorrow.

 Join @Dove’s mission and inspire a young girl in your life to love her hair. Create and share your custom animated message by visiting LoveYourHair.Dove.com!

Teaching children to love themselves for who they are is one of the most important things we can do for them, that's why I'm learning to love my hair and teaching my daughter to love hers too.

After years of wondering and putting it off I finally agreed to let my daughter get her hair straightened. Don’t freak out, we didn’t do anything permanent. Just a blowout and flat iron appointment.

We did give it a try about a year and a half ago while we were on vacation. But without the proper tools it was pretty much a disaster and ended rather quickly.

With my daughter’s dance recital ahead of us I decided she could get her hair straightened to help make it slick back into the ballerina bun, and make it easier to go from bun to pony to side part in her different dances.

We went to a salon and I got a press at the same time–My first in 3 years! To do a length check and so we could go through the experience together.

Some tips for straightening curly hair for the first time

Here’s what I’ve learned after straightening my little girl’s curly hair:

1. It hasn’t gotten much easier since I was a kid

I remember those trips to the salon that took what felt like all day. All the tugging and combing and heat and waiting. You’d think we’d come up with a faster, easier process after a couple decades but it seemed very similar to before. Lil’ J was willing to stick it out for the result, but she’s just as tender-headed as her mama and it wasn’t fun.

2. I will probably do it myself from now on.

Because of #1, I most likely will take over any straightening in the future for her hair, and possibly my own hair too when I want to occasionally give it a go. I just ordered a blow drier and I’ll probably stick to that versus a flat iron for my daughter’s hair. I was shocked to see how much heat the stylist was putting on her locks. When I realized she had the heat all the way up on the flat iron I asked her to turn it down. Don’t want to damage her pretty baby locks.

3. My husband is totally #teamcurly

Without any coaching my sweet husband was nice about my daughter’s new look, but reminded her daily that he thought her curly hair was prettier. So often kids get complimented on the opposite and I know his words stuck with her.

4. It’s ok to love your hair straight too

My daughter was in L O V E with her hair styled straight. I mean any glimpse she got of her reflection she was staring in it. She was whipping her hair back and forth. She was brushing it. She was telling strangers about it. She was all about it. And I let her have her moment. Yes, I love her curls and I want her to embrace them too, but it’s ok for her to love the versatility in her hair styles as well. After all, all it takes it a little water to reverse the process.

I’m also enjoying the change of pace with my temporarily straight locks.

5. Swimming trumps straight hair

Right after she saw the results of her hair straightening she told me she never wanted to go swimming again. She made sure to have an umbrella or some kind of cover over her head any time we were out and there was a chance of rain. But after about a week and a half, she decided having fun in the pool was way more important than having straight hair and she’s been swimming just about every day since.

Some tips for straightening curly hair for the first time

We may give hair straightening another go sometime now that I own my first ever blow dryer. But I’m in no hurry. We love our curls, our hair, and all the many things it can do!

A month or so ago my mom invited me to stand in for my sister for a hair appointment and get a blow out. I took her up on the offer because I wanted to give my arms a rest and have someone else to deep condition and de-tangle my hair.

What I didn’t expect was my daughter’s reaction when I got home. I had a feeling she’d be unhappy but she went berzerk; Crying immediately when she saw I had “straight hair” (it was more like a longer, poofier fro). She thought it was pretty, but she was hurt that I went straight and left her on the curly team alone.

We had more conversations about loving our hair, and the fact that our curls are beautiful. In a few days she forgot my hair was straighter, and I started styling it back to its curly state.

For years, I went to the hair salon twice a month for several hours at a time to get my hair washed, blown straight, then pressed with a metal comb so hot, I could see and smell the smoke coming from it as the beautician pulled it through my tresses.

One time a chunk of my hair was burned off with a flat iron, as we fought to make it lay flat (actually I’m still not sure exactly how that went down, it should have been a sign). Instead of swimming with my friends, I’d pull my hair in a bun, stand near the edge of the pool and try my best to avoid the splashes. It was years before my own husband had seen my hair in its naturally curly state.

I know it’s normal for people to not like the hair they were born with. The grass is always greener right? But I felt the lengths I was going to to keep it straight were not healthy. If it was only a matter of styling my hair in the bathroom after taking a shower that would be one thing. But the expense and damage it was causing my hair needed to stop.

Part of the reason I kept it straight was to look more “professional” at work on the air at my news station. I had never really dared to as otherwise, but hadn’t seen other news anchors rocking the waves.

I was just so used to trying to look like what I thought was acceptable to society — what was pretty. Long, straight, shiny hair. I looked forward to those hair appointments when my hair was starting to get poofy and frizzy, and I felt pretty again after.

mommy and me curly hair

There is nothing wrong with getting a haircut, or new do that makes you feel beautiful, but I’ve realized it’s so important to feel comfortable in your own skin before you try to change yourself. At least, that’s how I’ve grown to feel now that I have a daughter with beautiful curly locks of her own.

It’s my job to build her up, tell her how beautiful she is and help build her up. This fall she starts school, and I want her to be well-armed with confidence.

For the last two years I’ve stopped going to the salon to straighten my hair. I’ve packed away my flat irons and kept a blow drier out of my house. I decided to embrace my natural curls to be an example to my daughter. But it’s turned into an experience that’s helped me build confidence in an area I’ve always been insecure.

Several people who know me and this journey I’ve been on sent me the link to a Dove video and message saying only 4 out of 10 girls think their curls are beautiful. My loving and embracing my own curls means she’s more likely to love hers.

I haven’t been so great about keeping up with sharing my daily naturally curly adventures lately but we’re still here, and still curly, and still striving to have healthier hair.

Since I’ve stopped straightening my hair, wearing it naturally curly is not as easy as I had hoped it would be. Styling takes more time and effort than when I wear it straight, but it’s worth it, and it’s fun to experiment with different products and see what tricks get it to look the way I want. Just when I thought I’d found my favorites, I tried Beautiful Textures this week and fell in love with a whole new line.

I always try it out on myself first before testing it on my kids and the most important quality in a product (after using natural ingredients) is that I can use it quickly and get the job done. I’m in a hurry and want something that will keep my curls looking fresh for hours.

The Moisture Butter Whipped Curl Creme is going in my bucket of approved “go-tos.”

I’m not saying I’ll never straighten my hair again, or that I think it’s bad if other people do. I just feel like for me, I needed to stop drastically changing my appearance for the sake of fitting in with society’s standard of beauty, and become more comfortable in my own skin (hair). And in the process hopefully I’m sending a positive message of self-love for my children.

Do you love your hair? Have you always?

*Thank you to Beautiful Textures for sponsoring this story. Join me in sharing your journey toward healthier hair on their website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.*

Natural hair is all the craze right now. #TeamCurly #TeamNatural and #CurlyHair are draped across all the beautiful curly-haired selfies these days.

But one hashtag we don’t see nearly enough is one I tend to give the most credit: #NaturalHairProblems.

When natural hair goes wrong: Sometimes strange things get caught in your hair. Nothing tops this.

The tangles, the snags, and the headaches… I’m all about embracing my locks and teaching my children to love theirs. But I’ve gotta admit, sometimes, it’s a pain in my rear.

Take yesterday for example. I was on a shoot at a local aquarium with two young boys who want and need to be adopted. We’re having a good time, petting the different sea animals and reptiles when we decide to go in the parrot aviary.

A few minutes before we had fed the parakeets so I didn’t think this would be much different. They just seemed a little bigger.

Instead of handing us birdseeds when we walked in, the handlers gave us a type of fruit nectar that the birds enjoy. I guess that should have been the first red flag since one of the ingredients they mentioned I’m pretty sure was coconut water, and the night before I put a shea butter and coconut oil cream in my hair to hold the twists.

The birds flew down and ate out of our hands like before, but a couple of them also started landing on my head. I could feel one of them hanging out for a bit when I looked in the camera to see what it was up to.

From the reflection I could see it biting one of my twists as if it was trying to devour a tasty worm.

When natural hair goes wrong: Sometimes strange things get caught in your hair. Nothing tops this.

I reached up to try to shoo it off my head when it bit me. Then when it tried to fly away it got its foot ensnared in my hair.

I’m not gonna lie, I panicked for a moment. A bird was stuck in my hair. Not many people can say that. He was freaking out just as much as I was, and my fellow co-worker and cameraman just stood by and filmed it all. I didn’t realize he was still recording my near-death experienced until after the fact. He assures me he would have put the camera down had he seen blood. Very reassuring.

Luckily the bird handler was calm and helpful in getting the bird unsnagged. Ultimately I had to sacrifice my hand and take a nibble beating while getting the last bit of the bird’s foot out of my hair.

Have you ever seen the movie Birds? Yea, I watched that in high school and visions of the horror scenes have been coming back to me since this experience yesterday. Am I traumatized? Umm, not really. But will I be going into any rooms with free-flying parrots any time soon? Hail nah.

Could this have happened to someone with straight hair? I’d say anything is possible. But for me, it was just another day in the life of my daily curly hair struggles. I’ll just add this my running list of failures.

I won’t leave this post on a bad note though. Naturally curly hair also has it’s perks. My son sometimes keeps snacks in his hair for later. When it was longer pretzel sticks were easily stored away, right now he has to stick to smaller items like cereal or goldfish.

When natural hair goes wrong: Sometimes strange things get caught in your hair. Nothing tops this.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve found in your hair, or your kid’s hair?

Hair. You’d be surprised how often we talk about this topic in my home. With three naturally curly-haired people (well, actually all of us, including my husband, though he’s never let it grow out long enough for me to see his natural curl pattern) we’ve got a lot of product, prepping, and planning that goes into our hairstyles.

A humorous blog post about how to decide when to cut your baby's hair.Lately my husband is convinced that our son is ready for his first hair cut. Ok, so his hair is kinda a fro, I get it, but it’s so adorable and in a way, his signature (at least in my mind). The thought of changing him in any way makes me so sad. I wanted to trust my husband and go along with his hair ideals, until he told me the kind of cut he had in mind.

How to decide when to cut your baby's hair.

He says (for the 50th time this month): I really think we should cut his hair.
She says: No way, his curls are adorable.
He says: Just for the summer. It’s hot. Besides Don’t you think he’d look cool with a high-top fade?
She says: What? And make him look like he belongs in the 80s? No thanks. And besides, do you know how crazy you’d look walking into a barbershop asking to hook your kid up with a high-top fade?
He says: Good point.
She says: Besides, I don’t want his curls to change.
He says: What are you talking about? Cutting your hair doesn’t cause your hair to grow back differently.
She says: Yes it does. Several people have told me this happened to them.
He says: That doesn’t even make sense. It’s a myth.
She says: I don’t think so.
He says: How long do you want his hair to grow?
She says: I don’t know, not much longer, then he can get a trim.
He says: You should just let me cut it.
She says: [Expletives]

A humorous blog post about how to decide when to cut your baby's hair.

Am I crazy? Is it just a myth that if you shave off your kid’s hair (or even cut it down quite a bit) that it could mess with the curl pattern? According to this I’m totally wrong. But I’m scared to risk it. Lil’ J has never had a hair cut, and I’ve only ever really gotten trims myself. the idea of a drastic hairstyle change on my one-year-old gives me a bit of anxiety. Plus what if the hair cut sucks? Maybe I’ll bobby pin the sides and see how this style would look on him. But right now I can’t get an image out of my mind and I can tell you right now my baby will not be walking around looking like this:

kid n play high-top fade

A couple weeks ago I walked into my boss’ office and uttered words I never imagined myself asking:

“Do you care if I wear my hair curly?”


I thought I was pretty much hanging up my blazers when I resigned from my weekend anchor position. I also figured being on TV less would be a great opportunity for me to embrace my naturally curly hair while reporting. Then when they asked me if I could fill-in anchor, I wondered if that meant I need to go back to my straight “Barbie” look.

His reaction surprised me nearly as much as my own question…

“Are you kidding, why would I care?”

It may sound like a superficial question but trust me, some news directors in this business would most definitely care. My first boss asked me to change my name to Keisha for Heaven’s sake. So you know looks and public perception come with the territory.

He told me he thought my hair looked great, and to wear it however I liked.

natural hair news casterTo be safe I checked with my other boss, and she was also extremely supportive. So there I was, planning to debut something so natural and simple. Yet it felt like I was knocking down some kind of barrier; an unspoken rule that said I had to stay within the cookie cutter lines of an appearance.

On one hand I felt extremely proud. Thinking: Yes, this is a proud moment I’ll share with my daughter some day! And on the other hand it felt like no freakin big deal. “It’s just hair!” As my boss put it.

But then again this is the same head I covered up years before with a short wig after repeated requests to cut my hair from multiple people.

I twisted my hair the night before my anchor shift then took it out the morning of. I thought I’d be overly self-conscious or maybe even dislike the change, but the opposite was true. I felt confidant, like I was channeling my inner Oprah.

The reaction to my hair has been all over the map. When I first started wearing my natural curls co-workers didn’t immediately recognize me. Responses ranged from “YIKES!” (luckily this only happened once) to “I love it!” naturally curly anchorMy station even got a viewer response that directly complimented me on my new do, and praised me for showing off my natural curls. Granted, the subject line was mistakenly addressed to the other black anchor in Austin, but close enough right?

Since changing up my hair, another naturally curly anchor in town has decided to rock her waves as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if more are on their way. I’m obviously not the first new anchor to wear her natural curls on TV, and I definitely won’t be the last, but as for my experience all I can say is… It’s nice to let my hair down.

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget


I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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