Dear not so Lil’ J,

I’ve heard people call the 9th birthday “halfway to adulthood” Honestly the thought makes me shudder. I can’t believe I’m halfway through you living under my roof (though I don’t think I’ll mind if you decide to stay a bit longer). But let’s not talk about that right now. Let me tell you how fun your 9th year of life has been, and while doing that, share 9 things I love about you.

1. How excited you get for a brand new day

“This is the plan for today… *sigh*” Is how you like to start a day, with a plan for what we’re going to do and all of the fun you’d like to have. You love making fun plans, and it’s fun watching you execute it.

2. Your hard work

I’ve watched you grow a lot this past year in learning responsibility, and hard work. You’ve set goals and worked hard to achieve them in cheerleading and in school. We all get a little lax sometimes, but once you set your mind to something, you go for it and work really hard.

3. How you love to snuggle

I’m pretty sure if you were in a snuggling contest you’d win. You love hugs, holding hands, and all kinds of affection. Sometimes I get a little over-snuggled but deep down I really treasure it and I hope you keep it up.

4. Your sense of humor

I don’t know when it happened but you seem to be getting funnier by the day. You listen to everything your dad and I discuss, and are really good about putting things together. The combination makes for some really funny surprises that come out of your mouth. I really need to start writing these down more. For instance you overheard me talking about an irresponsible babysitter. Then later when your dad was looking for the remote you said “If I was an irresponsible babysitter where would I put the remote?” Your dad had to try very hard not to let you see him laughing.

5. The way you notice editing in movies

You’re like a little sponge, absorbing so much of what you see and hear. And you’re so perceptive. You’ve caught on to different transitions and editing techniques that I’ve shown you, and you point them out in videos and movies we watch. Now I just need to get you to help me edit more!

6. Your huge smile is the same now as it was when you were a toddler

You’ve loved taking photos since you were just a baby. You still do. And when I look at a couple of photos side by side I can see how your facial expressions haven’t changed much.

7. You are so helpful

Not only are you helpful but you relish in it. You like making me breakfast in bed. You’re happy to bring me water, or a snack while I’m taking a bath. And you love helping out with your baby sister. I’m so glad that your younger siblings have you to look up to.

8. Your love of Disney

“Do you want to talk about Disney?” It’s a phrase you’ve started saying a lot and it cracks me up. It’s like you know my weakness. Same with your dad when you bring up talking about Rocky. You forge interests in things that we like knowing that we’ll cave and engage in a conversation or movie-watching whenever you want. It’s pretty smart when you think about it. But I do love that my love of Disney has rubbed off on you so beautifully.

9. That you’re still as sweet and adorable as ever

I thought for sure your 8th birthday was the last time you’d request a new build a bear toy. But here we are, with yet another added to your collection (even though I’m trying to enforce a strict no stuffed-animals policy). You still held my hand as you walked in for your first day of school.

You run out of cheer practice for water and a quick hug and kiss before you run back in. I love that you still like to be around me, even around your friends. And I selfishly hope that never ends.

I love that you are my daughter. A bright bit of sunshine in our home. Happy belated birthday sweet baby J. I hope this next year of life is your best one yet!

Love,

Mom

“Mommy, are unicorns real?” My oldest daughter asked me one afternoon after school.

“I’ve never seen one, but who knows. What do you think baby?”

“Well, I know they aren’t real, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still wear clothes with unicorns on them,” she responded.

“Of course you can. Why would anyone think you couldn’t?”

Graphic Sequin Sweatshirt; light pink A&F Essential Puffer

She told me a little girl at school asked her why she kept drawing unicorns and wearing unicorn clothes if she knew they weren’t real.

First of all, I tend to take the philosophy that we don’t know everything. Ok, so unicorns are fictional animals we read about in books. But who’s to say in some far off planet a similar creature doesn’t exist? Secondly, who cares? Use that imagination!

I was about to dive into telling her she can wear what she wants and what she likes but she cut me off before I even got going.

“I know mom, I don’t care what she says,” she told me. “I was just asking.”

“What did you say to her?” I asked.

“I said ‘I don’t care, I like unicorns!’”

I’m learning to stand down as she begins to learn to stand up for herself, her own beliefs and opinions. When did she grow up?

A few days later I had her sit next to me and pick out some clothes from Abercrombie Kids. We recently decluttered more than half of all of our clothes and I’m making a point to get my kids involved in choosing their own clothes so I know we’re spending money on quality items they like and will wear. All of these cute clothes and the entire site is 40% off for Cyber Monday plus free shipping.

My son is into blue everything. Specifically light blue. So he debated a little before choosing a blue A&F Essential Puffer jacket for winter and some grey sweatpants. Lil’ J didn’t hesitate with her choices. She chose a unicorn sweatshirt and a light pink A&F Essential Puffer jacket. She was happy to see that the fur lining the hood was detachable, and that the inside was soft. Her choices were quick and decisive. I didn’t even try to sway her one direction or another. She knew what she wanted.

The sweatshirt has flip sequins on it that flip up and down revealing different colors where the unicorn has hair. It’s almost like having two shirts.

She also picked out a similar sequin graphic sweatshirt with a heart that reads “slime queen”.

She didn’t hesitate to don her new top and show off her favorite mythical creature. She didn’t hesitate to run up a revealed tree in our new backyard that was just itching to be climbed.

My oldest daughter doesn’t ask me for help as much, or lack the courage to stand up for herself (though we’re still working through the best way to handle conflicts amongst peers). More and more I’m realizing the less she needs my help and the more I can sit back and watch her rise.

I listened to her tell me about how she replied to the girl at school and in admiration, asked her where she got her confidence.

Without skipping a beat she said “from my confident mommy.”

*Cue the tears*

She may still want to believe in unicorns and fairies and a slew of other mythical characters. But in reality, she’s growing into the strong self-assured girl I’ve always dreamt she’d be.

We were on a drive home from one of my daughter’s many activities. Anne of Green Gables piped through the speakers in our car. Once again the little girl in the story was getting herself into a heap of trouble. This time for unknowingly serving her best friend wine when she thought she was giving her raspberry cordial.

If you aren’t familiar with the story, Anne’s friend Diane went home sick (drunk) and her mother forbid her to see Anne again.

“I didn’t mean to intoxicate her!” Anne explained in the story.

I can never quite tell how invested in the story my daughter is at any given time. Sometimes she’s asking me to pause the audio book every couple of minutes to explain a word or what’s going on. Lil’ J had been quiet in the back so I wasn’t sure if she understood what was happening, or if she was even paying attention.

So at the end of the chapter I was a little surprised when she asked. “What’s wine mama?”

The question didn’t catch me off guard given the story we were listening to, and we’ve talked about alcohol before, so I explained simply.

“It’s a drink with alcohol that adults sometimes drink.”

“Well why did it make Diane sick?”

“Well if you have too much, or if you’re too young it can make you feel really sick.”

She understood in the story the little girl drank it by mistake, but she wasn’t quite sure why Marilla had it in the home in the first place.

“Some grownups like to drink it,” I explained. “Some people like the way it tastes.”

“What does it look like?” She asked me. I described a wine bottle, and wine glasses—She’s seen them at our house because I like to drink sparkling cider out of wine glasses. I told her that we didn’t have alcohol in her house, but what it might look similar someplace else.

“If I see it, what should I do?” She started. “Should I run away?”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” I told her. “But if it’s sitting some place that a kid could accidentally drink some you should tell me and a grownup who is nearby.”

Finally she had reached a point of understanding that she was happy with.

“Ok, you can play the next chapter,” she resumed.

It’s conversations like these I hope we continue through her youth. Sincere questions met with honest answers. I want her to feel comfortable coming to me to fact-check things she hears from her friends.

This year I joined the joined the Responsibiility.org #TalkEarly ambassador team. One of our goals is to help encouraging parents to create a lifetime of conversations surrounding alcohol starting with kids as young as 6-9 years old. My daughter is right in that age where these conversations begin.

We don’t even have alcohol in our home, but that doesn’t keep questions about it from coming up.

Last year I went to a compelling summit and heard from Dr. Shefali’s who said something that really stuck with me: “Connection comes before correction, busy schedules and achievement.”

I need to make sure I’m making these connections with our children now. Listening, being honest with our answers, and being a safe haven of trust. Then hopefully years later when our milestones are much slower but our problems seem bigger, we can handle them together.

*I’m passionate about building strong relationships with our children and being there for the important conversations. That is why I partnered with #TalkEarly on this post. Stay tuned in the coming months for more on this important topic. 

“Will you play dress-up with me?”

A question that would make me cringe. Not wanting to say no but not wanting to say yes to my little girl’s request. I loved the game as a kid but it’s just not something I look forward to anymore. So I’d make an excuse to pass on this favorite pastime of hers.

Months have gone by and though the amount of Disney Princess dress is hanging in her closet has gone up, the number of daily outfit changes and requests for me to play with has gone down.

I can sense my baby is ever so slowly growing up and out of this phase.

Part of me thought I would welcome these days with open arms but instead I feel the opposite. I’m clenching on for dear life, not ready for this to end.

“Will you play dress-up with me?” My daughter asked as she ooo’d and ahh’d over some dresses in my closet.

Chores, work, and closet organization–It can wait.

I turned to her and said yes.

She smiled. I smiled. And together we became queens.

“We have $100 to spend,” I told my daughter as we walked around Sears.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS?” She nearly shouted. Her eyes widened and she rubbed her hands together behind a big grin. “That’s A LOT of money, isn’t it?”

Well, let’s see. I told her. I pointed to the dress she was holding and asked her to read me the price tag.

“Twenty dollars,” she read.

Ok, so that means we have 80 more to spend.

We came in with a gift card to pick up some clothes for the new school year but I didn’t realize we’d also be leaving with another math lesson under our belt.

We browsed together and she picked a few more items off the rack for herself while I shopped for her brother. After a little while we set all our items down and I opened my calculator app and had her help me add them up.

First she read me the prices of her items then she added the price of her brother’s items.

“Ninety dollars!” She showed me the total. “So we have one dollar left!”

Technically with tax she’s exactly right but I reminded her about place value and asked her to think about how many dollars we’d have left.

“Ten more!” She said after using my hands as a tool.

I pointed to a hat that she had grabbed for her little brother.

“That’s about ten dollars,” I said.

“Then we’ll be at one hundred!”

She typed the last 10 into the calculator and saw it reach the number we’d been aiming for. Not more, not less.

She beamed as we gathered our things and marched to the register.

“We wasted all of our money!” She told the cashier as she rang up our items.

The cashier laughed and I saw this as an opportunity for a quick vocabulary lesson.

“I think you mean spent,” I suggested. “Wasted is when you throw away something for a bad reason. Spending money is when you are using it to buy something. We are spending the money on school clothes you will use for this whole year, so that’s not wasting.”

“Ahh, ok, spending all our money!” She amended.

The total rang up to $108 thanks to tax. I decided not to go into that lesson today. That’s what we get for missing tax-free weekend.

Luckily we had just won a slew of shop your way points by playing a Secret Life of Pets game in the store, so we redeemed those for cash and it covered the tax over our gift card money.

We walked out of the store, well, Lil’ J was skipping and heading straight for the food court. We finished our little mommy/daughter date with a Chick-fil-a lunch and a Bluebell ice cream dessert. I sat across from her and admired her little spirit. So joyful, so full of life and willing to learn. I love her.

I didn’t know going into that mall that we’d be turning the trip into a math lesson. I’m not even sure if a year ago I would have seen it as an opportunity to do so. I probably would have just rushed through the trip and not thought to stop and explain. Knowing we are on our own now, no other teachers this school year, just us with our many books and life experiences to lead the way. It’s a little scary, but mostly exhilarating, and I can already see it bringing us closer together.

Want $100 to spend with your kiddos at Sears? You don’t have to turn it into a math lesson but I promise you it can be fun! Just leave a comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win a Sears gift card. Also while you’re there check out the new kids jeans and back-to-school gear or look online at Sears.com/backtoschool.

My daughter basically refuses to wear anything but dresses but Sears has expanded their popular Roebuck &; Co. denim line from just mens to boys and girls as well. The boys line has a classic collegiate feel, with tints of color and dry processing to give it a vintage look. Sizes are 7-16 for girls and 8-12 for boys and between $24-36 a pair. Next year she’ll be a little bigger and I’m guessing ready to expand on her choices.

Giveaway ends August 24th at 11:59pm. Good luck!

Update: Winner alert- Commenter #59 Tara Schreeve

*I’m passionate about spending quality time with my family and I love it when stores make that easier for me by making shopping easier and more affordable. That’s why I’ve partnered with Sears for this post.

I’ve now been a mom for six years. My little girl is SIX!

Lil’ J’s 6th birthday snuck up on us– well, as much as it could with her reminding us every other minute. She was involved in the planning of her birthday party, from the theme to the venue, the guest list and goodie bag contents.

I felt as if I was just there to facilitate as I watched my little girl give her input, write lists and draw blueprints.

Since her birthday is the day before Independence Day we scheduled her party to be a few days before. If you asked her what kind of party she was having she would give you a hearty reply: “I’m having an art party because I’m passionate about art!”

If you’ve ever been to one of those sip and paint classes, this party was a lot like that. But instead of ladies sipping on wine it was little kids sipping on juice boxes.

I of course was mamarazzi capturing all of the fun with not one, but two cameras. I had my EOS 80D rolling for the video and my Canon EF 17-40mm f/4L lens on my EOS 5D Mark II to capture the entire scene in wide-angle beauty.

When it comes to parties, I’m all about outsourcing the venue and not having the party at my house, but it can feel rushed sometimes when you have a limited amount of time. I loved that we had a full two hours plus set up for her party. It was more than enough time for everyone to paint their masterpieces and enjoy themselves.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you’re capturing your little one’s birthday party:

• Open that aperture up in low light situations for a better shot (f/2.8 or lower).
• A low f-stop will also keep the focus on your happy birthday girl or boy and blur out more of the background.
• Use a wide-angle lens to capture an entire room and all of your party guests.
• Raise the ISO in rooms with less light to avoid dark images.
• For those cute candle photos you’ll want to make sure your flash is off, have a wide open aperture, crank up your ISO and lower your shutter speed as much as you can while still staying steady. Set the exposure to your little one’s face and fire away!
• Be ready for the birthday song. Have your settings set, lens cap off and finger at the ready to hit record before it starts so you can capture the grin at the first “happy birthday” down to the cheers after the candles are blown out.
• Enjoy the moment. Don’t be afraid to hand your camera off so you can enjoy the moment too, and even be in a few photos yourself. Setting your camera to AV mode and choosing your aperture is a great auto-mode to set and forget about the rest if you want to let someone who’s unfamiliar with your camera help.

You can find more birthday party photography tips on Canon’s website, and for even more photography tips, check out my Canon course for photographing children where I share tips on photographing siblings so and much more.

The one picture I forget to get almost every year and I always say I won’t the next year is a photo of both my husband and I with the birthday child. So don’t be like me and make sure you get in that photo. If I miss it I’m always happy to make up for it later. I can never have enough photos of us together.

Lil’ J was also so excited to do her birthday interview this year and I was pretty pumped to work on it with her. I set up my Canon EOS 80D on a tripod with my EF 24-70mm 2.8/fL lens and asked her a series of questions then hilarity ensued. She’s really growing into her own personality and I love it. Watch for yourself:

What better way to bottle a child’s personality than to do a birthday video time capsule? Check out my blog post on birthday interviews to see my full list of questions to ask for older and younger kids each year.

I love that she loves doing photo shoots with me and that she even mentioned that as something she loves about me. We started when she was a tiny little thing giggling and laughing in every photo and she has just as much fun with it today.

For her 6-year-old photos I focused on photographing her doing things she loves or is currently “passionate” about. This week I think I’ve officially decided that my Canon EF 100mm 2.8/fL lens is my favorite–at least for dreamy portraits. I keep my f-stop open to 2.8, bump up the shutter speed to at least a quick 1/800 then let her jump around and do her thing and freeze the emotion. You’ll see more of what we got below.

And carrying in our tradition I owe her a birthday letter. These aren’t getting any easier to write because it’s so bittersweet watching her turn from my tiny baby into a walking, talking opinionated little person of her own. But I’ll give it a shot!

Happy Birthday My Sweet Daughter,

You’re six! I still can’t believe it. You sometimes half-jokingly say you wish you were a baby again so I could carry you around and cuddle with you all day. You love to cuddle, snuggle, and be close to people in general. You’ve pretty much always been that way and I’m beginning to think that’s just your nature.

Sometimes I miss the days you were a tiny baby too. But since there’s no turning back, every time I feel that way I remind myself that a few years from now I’m going to look back at these moments with you now and wish we could do this all over again too.

You are so funny. Not in an intentional way, but you make me laugh with your questions. I’ll be reading a story and you’ll look as though you aren’t paying attention but then you’ll jump in and ask a question or explain what’s going on in detail.

The level of compassion you feel for others is admirable. Even for your little brother, who I know can be hard to get along with sometimes. It’s just one of the many qualities I love about you. I also love how big of a dreamer you are. You often catch people off guard when you talk about your passions. It sounds like it’s deep talk for a 6-year-old but you’re all about it. Your passions right now range from singing and dancing, to art, swimming, planets and space.

We got you a telescope for your birthday and you’ve been having so much fun aiming it at the moon and hunting for stars. The look on your face when you finally captured the moon in your sights was priceless.

Your smile, your joy, and your bouncing curls keep drawing people in. I hope as you continue to grow, you’ll keep enjoying life and grow into the woman you’re meant to be.

This last year of life was full of new adventures. From vacations to Disney, learning to swim and read, starting kindergarten, dancing on stage and making new friends, you accomplished a lot. I feel so lucky to be your mom and learn more about the world right along with you.

I’m always here for you. When you want to talk, debate or snuggle, I’m here with open arms and a lap to sit on no matter how big you get.

Happy birthday sweet girl! May this year be your best year so far!

Love,

Mommy

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From birthdays to family vacations, to holidays and more, I’m teaming up with Canon every month to share how we capture our special milestones. I’ll also dish out tips to help you better capture your special moments with your family. Shout out to my favorite camera brand for sponsoring this series.

Lately before I sit down to write I find myself asking “What do people want me to write about?”

I dive back into my reader survey responses to see the most requested topics. I get some ideas but something’s holding me back.

What do I feel like writing about? But what if people don’t like it? I can’t decide, and so I don’t write.

Later I’m picking up my daughter from school. She runs to the car beaming and shouts as soon as she climbs in “I’M THE FIRST MATE!” It’s the class “star of the week.” I gave her a high five and cheered her on as she told me more about her duties. I would have realized she was given the title had I throughly read her weekend folder but that’s neither here no there.

She opened her backpack and pulled out a poster-sized sheet of paper she would decorate and fill in blanks all about her. I knew she’d have a hay day since she adores any art task.

She looked it over as we drove and said “Mommy… What if nobody likes it?”

“What do you mean baby?”

“I mean, what if my class doesn’t like how I decorate it?”

“Oh, everyone will love it! You’re great at art!”

“No, but I mean, what if they DON’T?” She persisted.

“Well, you make something that you like, and work your best on it, then if they don’t like it, you’ll still be proud of it,” I told her. “It won’t really matter what they think.”

It wasn’t until I sat down to attempt another blog post and the doubting thoughts started to creep in again when I stopped and laughed at myself.

How can I give my 5-year-old the best, most honest advice about dealing with potential rejection yet not own it myself?

As wise mothers how much advice to we dish out to our kids on a daily basis? If your child asks as many questions as my daughter then you’re probably giving a lot! But how often do we use our own advice?

I think it’s time I start to take my own advice. Not just with blogging, but in life. Fear of asking for help because I may be rejected. Fear of trying something new because I may be bad at it. Whether you’re 5 or 65,  we can’t let fear of rejection hold us back from our potential.

So, this wasn’t what I was planning on writing today. I mean, something more pinterest-worthy would have been nice. But I wrote it anyway, and I’m feeling good about it, and I’m not afraid.

 

 

~At the time of this blog post, Lil’ J is 5 years 9 months old.~

If you think vision boards are something to laugh at, the joke’s on you. Because they work! I’m telling you. Let’s chat about Vision Boards for Kids and help your children follow their dreams.

I’ve shared my experience with my dream boards being fulfilled before, which is why I was thrilled when my daughter said she wanted to make one too.

So first let’s talk a little about visualization. It’s a powerful mind exercise that uses the law of attraction to form your life. Or, in other words… What you believe you’ll get out of life is what you’ll get back. Athletes often use this visualization technique in sports.

Have a negative attitude and believe nothing good has ever or will ever happen to you? You’ll probably get more of that. Believe that you can achieve greatness and strive for it? You will! Or that’s the idea anyway. I’ve read that concept in books like The Secret and 7 Mindsets.

Then there are the scriptures giving similar advice like in Matthew 7. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

I consider myself a religious person, a spiritual person and just a positive person in general. As long as I can remember I’ve not only prayed, asking for help, and given thanks every single day. I’ve also envisioned myself becoming what I’ve dreamed to be, and I truly believe anything is possible. Miracle or otherwise.

I’ve listed my goals and visualized dreams from going to BYU to marrying a great guy and having a girl and a boy. When you make a vision board you’re supposed to focus not just on the things you want, but on how you want to feel.

After my 30th birthday party I came home with a new vision board in the works and Lil’ J wanted to make her own. I don’t know why this idea hadn’t crossed me before. It isn’t just teens and adults who can dream about and “plan” their future.

From a young age I’ve asked my daughter what she wants to do, helped facilitate her interests, and had many conversations with her about her passions. It may sound like a deep word for a 5-year-old but in her own words she describes it like this: “Passionate means that you really want to do something really bad and you love it so much, it could mean you want to go someplace someday, or if you really really like space and stuff that means you’re passionate.”

Right now she’s most into singing, working out, space, playing dress-up, ballet, art, and crafts. We spend a considerable amount of time each week practicing, reading, and playing around all of these things.

I asked her to tell me what interests and goals she wanted to put on her dream board and we looked through magazines and I searched for images that fit. She did all of the selecting, cutting, placing and gluing. I loved that she made hers vertical while all of the others I’ve seen have been horizontal.

I think working on vision boards for kids are a great project to do together and it has so many benefits but here are a few:

1. Sparks a conversation about their interests: I didn’t realize how into art Lil’ J was. I mean, I knew she loved it, but while we were talking she told me she wanted to take art lessons someday! So I’ve found a local art studio that I’m going to give a shot this week (it’s a surprise).

2. It’s something she can look at daily: And a constant reminder of what her goals are.

3. It will evolve: I realize she’s only 5 and these dreams are bound to change over the years, just as mine have. But this first vision board of hers will always be a beautiful keepsake. Even if she makes more and we don’t keep the originals, the photos documenting each one will be special.

Aside from showering my kids with unconditional love, I feel like one of the most important things we can do for our children is help them realize their potential in all aspects of life. My kids were sent to me for a reason and it’s my job to do my best to raise them to be who they’re meant to be. I want them to come to learn their divine nature and help them pursue their purpose and dreams. This was just one fun step in that direction.

Take some time to talk about your child’s dreams with them. If you’ve never made a dream board maybe try making one together! Either way it’ll be the start of a great conversation, and hopefully bring you even closer together.

What are some of your child’s dreams?