I was married a few weeks before my 19th birthday. See what I did there? I don’t like to actually say that I was 18. Though technically I was. My husband was 22. Back then we were young, and (more) fun. But I still had a lot of growing up to do when it came to being a wife.

Our ward (church congregation) was comprised of young married adults, mostly without kids. One winter we went snowboarding on a bunny hill. Other times we had potlucks and game nights, but there was frequently something interesting going on.

I’ve loved getting out and experiencing new activities. My husband has been a good trooper, putting up with my requests to go out, even when he’d rather stay home. Thirteen years later we’re at a place where we each know when to pick our battles, and when the other is insistent. But about eleven years ago, we were still figuring that out.

I’ll never forget one winter, I wanted to attend a snow tubing activity. I’d never been before and I was really looking forward to it.

The morning of, my husband told me he wasn’t feeling well. That he was “sick.” Well sick usually meant a headache. It was a regular battle for us, and usually the source of his complaint. When I had a headache I’d take some ibuprofen and wait for it to wear off. I didn’t understand how this was different for him. I also didn’t understand he was dealing with migraine, which, I didn’t realize until later, was totally different.

See, migraine when untreated can last anywhere from four hours to three full days. They’re usually accompanied by nausea and/or light/sound sensitivity. You may have chronic migraines if you’re suffering from headache symptoms 15 or more days out of the month.

I thought my husband was just trying to get out of going out.

I mean, sure, I realized he might have had a headache, but I didn’t think it could be anything that would have to keep us from going.

We were at odds. I was completely frustrated that he couldn’t suck it up, and he was upset that I only cared about going tubing.

We missed that activity and stayed mad at each other all day, I completely dropped the ball on being a nurturing wife.

Wife of the year here!

I’ve been better since then, especially after experiencing my own migraines when I was pregnant with our son. But I’d be lying if I said I was awesome at it. I try to offer help, and keep the kids away so he can rest when one comes on. Though sometimes deep down, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking ‘Come on! Suck it up!’

It’s completely different with my kids though. I jump through hoops, taking vomit in the face like a champ.

Luckily through the years he doesn’t get them as frequently. After some urging he went to the doctor and got some pointers on migraine relief. And now that I know more about what they are, it’s helpful. If you suffer from what feels like chronic headaches consider checking in with your doctor. In my last blog post with Med-IQ I shared some information to bring with you to the doctor.

This is a busy, stressful time of year. Keep a headache diary, then if you go to your appointments fully prepared to tell your story, and outline the time, symptoms and impact, you’ll receive a much quicker diagnosis and a clearer path to relief. Then stick to the plan they create for you, which should include some medications and lifestyle management strategies.

Med-IQ is interested in gaining the participation of as many people as possible to raise awareness in the community about migraines and chronic migraines. If you can spare just 10 minutes of your time, please take this quick survey to help. As a thank you, you’ll be entered to win a $100 Visa gift card!

My opinions are all my own. I was compensated to write this blog post. It is sponsored by Med-IQ and supported by an educational grant by Teva Pharmaceuticals.

Looking back, I can’t believe how often I took alone time with my husband for granted before kids.

I mean, when we were newlyweds we took several classes together at school. We even worked together at an early morning custodial job. We saw each other all the time. Date nights were regular and often no big deal. Somehow, ignorantly, I think I sort of felt it would always be that way.

I didn’t realize how significantly children would impact our life as a couple! I guess I thought kids would entertain themselves more than they actually do.

After our babies were born, it took more than a year each time for us to feel comfortable leaving them. On one hand, we couldn’t wait to run out the door, but on the other hand, we were nervous to leave them in another’s hands. So far we’ve only trusted family members with several-hour date nights. Our parents, and my younger sister Lauren.

Our first full date-night out after both kids was over our anniversary and, even though we trusted our babies were in good hands with our parents, my husband made sure to give them an extra-detailed checklist and ran through it several times.

It was pretty adorable to see him go into hyper-protective daddy mode.

As our kids get bigger, we become more comfortable with a greater variety of sitters, and I’m counting down the days until my 10-year-old sister can watch her niece and nephew for me. I’ll finally get to cash in payback for all of my babysitting hours growing up.

Lil’ J had admired her from day one, and it’s sweet watching them grow up together something like sisters.

Occasionally, I’ll have her come over and help play with my kiddos while I get some work done. At first, I was so frustrated because they’d wind up arguing most of the time. But once I created a checklist and schedule, she quickly evolved into a legit babysitter.

I found this was a great way to help her feel in charge, and take responsibility for her job (even though I was just in the next room).

When making your own checklist, think of the dos and don’ts of your household and include that in a list of expectations for your babysitter. It also helped for me to write down our typical schedule so she knew when the kids would be hungry and expect a snack, or when my son would be ready for a nap. A little extra preparation on my end left me feeling more comfortable leaving her in charge. Having a list handy will help you take off for your first date and feel more at ease.

Some things to put on the babysitter checklist:

• Your child’s before bed routine
• Parent’s contact information
• Emergency contact information (in case they can’t reach you)
• Number for your pediatrician, hospital and local poison control
• Special needs and sensitivities
• Favorite bedtime stories
• TV/ screen time rules
• Meal schedule and menu
• Special instructions
• Medication reminders
• Suggested activities

It’ll be nice when my sister is a little older and can fly solo with our little ones (man, it would be awesome to have a date night once a week!), but until then, she’ll be logging plenty of practice hours, and we’ll be dreaming of more fun dates.

What other tips to you recommend having in your babysitter’s checklist?

This post was written as part of the Allstate Influencer Program and sponsored by Allstate. All opinions are mine. Allstate is here to help protect your firsts and the moments in between. Share your firsts with #HeresToFirsts.

You know a sign that you’ve got a great guy? When he invites his kids into his man cave.

On the mornings, when my son wakes up, and my husband is off of work, they have their own little routine.

“He tells me he wants juice, and ‘BALL,’” my husband explained. “Which means he wants me to turn on basketball.”

They sit together and watch ESPN while my daughter and I sleep in a little bit. Then, when Big T finishes his bottle he turns to my husband and says:

“Guh-RAJ,” urging daddy to take him to the garage.

I have my own special thing with each of our kids. My son loves when I push him in the swing, or build him elaborate (in my mind) train tracks. Lil’ J loves when I do her hair while we munch on snacks and enjoy a Disney movie. But special time with daddy means time in the garage.

I have no idea what they do in there most of the time, but it’s their thing.

It’s funny because when we built our house, he envisioned the garage being his man cave. A place he’d go to workout, and maybe even get away. Watch a game, and hang out. Now it’s evolved into a training facility for his two little recruits.

My daughter looks forward to when daddy gets home from work so they can go in the garage, turn on Disney radio and have a “dance party.”

My husband claims he doesn’t do much dancing but I’ve walked in on him busting some moves. He once was a complete disgrace at our “name that tunes” game, but now can hold his own. And our son gets in on it too. When someone shouts the name of the song to say “OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” As in “in your FACE!” (I know… it’s terrible).

So this special place and time with daddy is something I just can’t touch.

In preparation for Father’s Day I teamed up with Sears to make this space a little more memorable for them.

It’s funny because most people think of a dad who loves to work in the garage they probably imagine handy dads who love to build stuff with their bare hands. Fancy tools are probably on the dream list for many husbands, but it’s just not my guy’s strong-suit. And I’m totally ok with that.

There are some exceptions. My husband built a platform for his garage gym. He got the wood, sawed some rubber horse stall mats down to size, and drilled it all together to make an awesome platform that otherwise would have cost us thousands. Oh but notice the little “B” detail in the center? That was my idea.

He also assembled all of his fancy workout equipment.

So anything to enhance the gym he already had, while giving him some ways to organize his thing what what I looked for . We had strollers, workout accessories, and balls all over the place. He wanted a space to put some of his loose equipment.

I’m not that great of a designer but I’m going to show you how it went down anyway. Focus on the back right corner because that’s where most of the change occurred.

I ordered him a Craftsman storage cabinet, and a workbench that he could use to build things, but will most likely be used for holding his portable speaker, and maybe eventually a TV. I placed the order online and most of the items came with free shipping started to arrive the next day.

I also got him a toolbox and a stronger fan because the one we had before was pretty puny. And a Craftsman wet/dry vac because oddly enough, it’s the one room in the house my husband likes to vacuum.

We hung some pictures from his favorite sports moments, and some flags to give it a sporty edge.

He was so giddy getting his upgrades and rearranging everything in the garage. It’s his early father’s day gift, and although he’s already totally spoiled, we may get him a Fitbit watch as a cherry on top for Sunday. It’s hard to say no when I see how he involves our kids in his routine, and how much they bond together.

It may be a man+kid cave, but he seems ok with that. And the more they’re in his part of the house, the more I get done on the other end. Win win.

And here’s where I get mushy: This guy is the man of my dreams. The longer we’re married the more I love him and am so grateful for the perspective, dedication, and his love for me and our children. Wishing a happy early father’s day to this special guy.

Moments like these make me hope I can get just one more baby out of him! … Wait, what?

Does the man in your live have a man cave? What are you planning for Father’s Day?

~My husband is 32, Lil’ J is 4yrs 11 months, and Big T is 2yrs 2 months at the time of this post.

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*This story was sponsored by Sears, however all opinions are my own. Whether you’re looking to makeover your dad’s look or where he spends his time, Sears has the largest assortment of gifts for Dad under one roof, so you will find just the right gifts for all the dads in your life at all different price points to fit your budget. Visit: sears.com/DestinationDad to find something for the man in your life. 

You can also become a Shop Your Way member (for free) and enter their beard photo contest to win a “MAKEcation” here: shopyourway.com/Beard 

The only thing more difficult than getting my husband to let me take a pictures of him, is getting him to take pictures for me.

He says: What do you want for Mother’s Day?
She says: I don’t know… Maybe a goPro?
He says: A goPro? Why in the world do you need that?
She says: To take cool underwater video of the kids!
He says: … Are you being serious right now?
She says: Ok fine, I want pictures with the kids. And you can’t complain!

It’s not for a lack of effort. I mean he kinda tries, but he just isn’t sure what he’s doing… Bless his heart. Nevertheless it’s important for me to get in the pictures with our children from time to time, so they can see that I also played an active part of their childhood.

I’ve shared some tips for taking self-portraits with kids, but I may need to work on tips for making your husband a better photographer. Especially if your husband is allergic to the camera like mine.

Last week I asked him to take a few pictures with the kids and I playing together. He’d take some, then I’d review, and give him some adjustment tips before he’d take a few more. I could have picked them apart but instead I chose to love them to pieces.

For Mother’s Day I said I wanted pictures with the kids and he agreed (though these were just a warm-up, he still owes me some that aren’t in the back yard). Hopefully he’ll sit through a quick tutorial before our next round, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love these too.

Is your husband allergic to cameras too?

More on my Tampico is Color Photoblog.

I married my husband 22 days before my 19th birthday, and we moved into a crappy apartment right across from campus. The location was great, and we got a good deal because of my husband’s golf scholarship, but that’s where the positives about that place end. When I say crappy I mean roach problem, hideously gross carpet, and malfunctioning appliances.

Did we care? Not one bit. We were newlyweds starting a new life together. We couldn’t afford a kitchen table, so we unpacked a moving box and turned it over, then set up some fold-out lawn chairs we got as a wedding present for our dining room set.

We didn’t have extra money to spare on home decor, so the birthday bouquet of flowers my husband bought for me were strategically placed in an empty canister of protein powder.

After a year we transferred back to Provo to finish school. While there we moved around to at least three different apartments, and finally settled into a condo of our own.

That’s where we adopted our first child, Snoop.

He was a Valentines gift and the best present ever! That is where we learned how to take care of a creature aside from ourselves, and boy did we baby him.

Not long after buying our own place (at the worst possible time), we decided to move out of state to someplace warmer. We settled on Austin where I found a job. After a stint in a couple apartments/ rooms for rent, we found a townhome that would be perfect for us and our pup Snoop. This was also where we had our daughter, and where to this day, I have some of the best memories.

There were only two bedrooms, but it was practically downtown, and the neighborhood had a beautiful little trail and field across the way that I went and took pictures with Lil’ J nearly every day. Pictures pictures pictures. I took A LOT when we lived there.

Leaving that apartment was one of the most difficult moves we’ve had to make. We became parents in that home. My daughter learned how to crawl and walk inside those walls. I dove into blogging while we lived there, learned photography, and my husband finished school and found his career. These were huge accomplishments for our little family.

We welcomed our son after our next move, into a duplex further out from the city. But shortly after he was born we decided we were finally ready to plant roots in Texas.  We built a house and moved one last time to where we are today, making it our own day by day.

Every day I drive downtown to work I think about all of the places we’ve lived since moving to Austin, the memories we’ve made around town as a couple, as a family, and with our friends. Then I think of how far we’ve come since we first got married.

My kids won’t grow up knowing the struggle from the beginning of our marriage, but it won’t be something we hide. It took a lot of planning, hard work, and faith to get where we are today, but I embrace every bit of the journey to get here.

Each time we’ve moved to our next place, we’ve not just boxed up pictures, toys, books and clothes. We boxed up memories, stories and special moments. It’s stuff, but it’s also our life. It’s everything we own—valuables full of meaning—and it requires us to Handle With Care.

We’ve all been there at some point. And with each move we can only hope to treasure those memories and make new ones even brighter than the last.

More than seven moves! Each time we pack our things and hope nothing breaks. But we also leave behind a special part of our lives. I have a real vase now, and the moving box we once used as a kitchen table is long gone. But the cherished memory of it will stay with me forever.

Do you have any special memories of any of your homes or moves? Share in the comments and on social media using the hashtag #handlewithcare.

This post was written as part of the Allstate Influencer Program and sponsored by Allstate. All opinions are mine. As the nation’s largest publicly held insurance company, Allstate is dedicated not only to protecting what matters most–but to guiding people to live the Good Life, every day.

I was rushing out the door to work when my husband stopped me with an urgent request.

He says: “Hey can you do her hair really quick?”
She says: “What? Just take her pick tails down and add a bow.” I had styled her hair the night before so it was just a matter of unraveling the braids.
He says: “Can you just do it please? I don’t know how.”
She says: “Just pull it in a pony tail.”
He says: “I can’t do that!”
She says: “Oh my gosh you REALLY need to learn how to do her hair.”
He says: “Uh uh.” (nope)
She says: “Well what if I die, are you going to let her go around looking raggedy?”
He says: “No, I’ll figure it out.”

Yea right. I don’t believe you. And I’d rather not be lookin’ down at my daughters mess of a head if that happens.

I saw a friend on Facebook post that her husband knows basic hairstyles for his daughter: A pony tail, pig tails, and side swoop with a hair clippies. She asked if this was a normal dad thing.

Not in my house.

My husband can’t do any of that. Absolutely clueless, and any time I try to give him a lesson he doesn’t pay attention long enough to replicate.

To his credit he has attempted the “add a headband” option, however it’s usually something that doesn’t match and it’s not positioned correctly. Are men really incapable of doing hair? If my husband in the minority or majority?

What say you?

Maybe he’d be more comfortable with this ponytail technique.

I’ve had varying opinions on “the one” and if there’s such thing. I happen to think that in my case, there is.

I knew your dad was “the one” for me not long after we met. We immediately hit it off and saw each other every day for months. He was very respectful, and chivalrous. He made me laugh and made me feel better when I was upset. We seemed to really understand each other so well.

I think the main reason I knew he was the one was through prayer. I remember praying and asking God about him, then having an overwhelming feeling of assurance and confidence that marrying him was the right things to do. I think you need to have that confirming feeling in order to go forward because you’ll have hard times come up, but if you had a spiritual vote of confidence, it can help you through those difficult times.

Nine years later, we’ve both evolved a lot, but I still feel the same about that decision.

This was Day 15 of the installment of 30 Things my kids should know about me.

Follow the link to play along and link up.