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“STOP STRESSING” <-- This Stresses Me Out

I’M BACK!!

Wow! What a month! The fundraiser was a big success! I’m not sure if I’ll do another of that magnitude, but I’m happy that one went well. We raised over $1100 for March of Dimes… In ONE MONTH! If you donated and are wondering if you won something look here for the list of winners.

Ok, enough of that! Not to belittle it, it’s just that if I type that out one more time I may go crazy!

For those of you who disappeared for a month and are maybe wondering if you missed some kind of big announcement I may have delivered… You didn’t. Don’t worry.

While I was “away”, I wrote in my journal a lot, and I Twittered a lot. Some of which I’ll share with you later.

I had a lot of time to think about this whole “stress thing” that people always talk about. I’m not sure what’s more stressful to me… Actually thinking about the reproduction process and how it works, or having people tell me NOT to think about it, forget about it, and “stop stressing about it.”

I KNOW everyone is well meaning, I really do. But at what point will people believe that I’M NOT STRESSING?

Really, cause I’d tell you if I was. No really… I would.

Conversations (on Twitter, cause I don’t have conversations like this in real life) have started to go like this:
Twitter friend: “How are you doing? How’s baby makin’?”
Me: “Oh good. I’ll know in a couple of weeks.”
Twitter friend: “Well don’t think about it!”

Convo #2:
Twitter friend 2: “Do you know if you’re pregnant yet?”
Me: “No, I actually don’t even know what DPO I’m on.”
Twitter friend 2: “DPO? Don’t talk like that… Don’t think about TTC!”

Convo #3:
Me: “Question: What kind of early pregnancy symptoms did you notice?”
Twitter friends 3-23: “@FutureMama: Why are you asking that! Stop stressing about it, it will happen!!!”

I’m a curious person, and I am interested in the topics of birth, pregnancy, and achieving that. So I tend to write about it a lot, ask questions about it… It doesn’t mean it’s because I’m stressing about every little thing TTC… It just means I’m asking a question, curious about your opinions!

I think I get more stressed out trying to convince people I’m not stressing out than with the actual stress of the process.

I mean it would be one thing if I was like crying and stressing about it all of the time, but really, I think other things stress me out more than this! Sure… This is one of the most important things in my life right now, but knowing that stress in a hindrance, don’t you think I’d try to take it easy?

Again, I know people are just trying to be nice, but if you know someone who is TTC here’s a tip… Don’t tell them to relax, it’ll probably just be annoying! Or is it just me?

Speaking of eliminating stress, today is the last day you can vote for me as Best Fertility Blog! I’m so excited to have been nominated and if I win I have a chance to win $1000… Good for future baby right?! The other main contender and I keep going back and forth and has a great blog too so visit her too (but vote for me! haha)

*****
PS: Sorry I didn’t add this earlier!! The winners of the cutest “baby” contest:
Boy: #1
Girl: #23
Winners email your address to babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com so I can get you your prizes!
But please know I Loved each and every one of your babies!! They were all so beautiful and I CAN’T WAIT to have one of my own!!


Joy says:

The next time someone asked you how the TTC is going just tell them that you’re having a LOT of fun! You know S-E-X… That will shut em’ up fast. 🙂

(Oops! Did I just let my red-neck side of my genetics show?)

Cheryl says:

Try being infertile and having people tell you ‘you just need to go on a holiday’ or ‘dont you think your being a little impatient’ ‘if you just stop worrying about it..’
NO NO I dont think i need a holiday… i need to OVULATE! hehehehehehe, i say just keep stressing, keep thinking about it, keep obsessing, because a)there is no use trying not to and b) it makes for GREAT Blogging – LOL

Ree says:

It is annoying to be told to relax but in reality it is the best advice from experience. I got pregnant from over a year of trying and the month I said “forget this” it happened! This is also true for a friend of mine. She’d been trying for years and she just kinda calmed down and now she’s having a baby girl. So hang in there you’ll find a way to deal with everything.

Natalie says:

They only say that because you haven’t been TTC for a long period of time yet. After a yr., my friends stopped saying that and started giving me suggestions. Not that I hope it takes you guys that long! I’m just saying, it’s a fall back comment, kinda like when you first get married and everyone says “so how’s married life?”, same thing.

Ashley says:

I agree with you. It’s sometime more stressful having someone tell me to stop stressing. My grandpa even told me a couple of months ago to stop stressing. I didn’t even know he knew we were wanting a baby. It was SOOO awkward.

Congrats on kicking ass with your fundraiser! Welcome back to blogging!

We experienced secondary infertility (meaning you cannot have kids after the first one). I was just like you. I wasn’t stressing out. I wanted information so I wouldn’t stress out! Best of luck!

Sarah says:

I know exactly what you mean. I’m not even TTC but I am EDUCATING myself for when it does happen. I know stuff about breastfeeding, cloth diapers, homeade baby food, decor ideas, symptoms, pain relief, vaccinations, skill milestones, tips and tricks…and people think I am stressing about it. People, I am taking birth control, how is THAT stressing?!?! Makes me annoyed, I’m with ya’!

Mama Seoul says:

I never had symptoms until the nausea started at 7 or 8 weeks. Some people don’t have early symptoms.

hello….
ummm…sorry, i don’t have any advice 4 u…i’m an unmarried student. anyway, take care……

hey there…the lady at the grocery store actually told me to “calm down” when I asked for bagging help (three kids going in three different directions…one out the door). talk about getting all riled up! i remember you from blog her!

Emmy says:

Glad you are back! And glad so much money was raised. I will go vote now

Emmy says:

Just voted, you are totally winning, you have 50%, the next highest is 39%

Mallory says:

I did miss your regular posts this past month, but the fundraiser turned out to be stinkin’ awesome, so it’s ok! Anyway, I also hate it when people tell me to just relax or stop worrying about it. Everyone seems to think that if you don’t think about getting pregnant, you will get pregnant. But, I’m a control freak, so I can’t take that super laid back attitude. It’s so frustrating!

I have got to tell you – this post REALLY struck a chord with me. My husband and I TTC our first child for FIVE YEARS and I got sooooooo unbelievably sick of people’s relentless (and unsolicited) advice to “relax” or “quit stressing.”

Let me tell you. During a five-year struggle with infertility, yeah, there were definitely times I was stressed. But there were also times in that span when I said, “You know what? F- it” and brushed it off for a couple of months. I had to do that for my sanity, you know?

Anyway, when we finally did get pregnant, people were all, “SEE? We told you that if you just quit stressing, it would happen!” It’s like they refused to believe that simply relaxing is NOT going to make someone get pregnant. Like they had been telling me this profound secret to super-fertility all these years and I had just been ignoring it until then.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. But like I said, this really struck a nerve. Good luck, and you’re right on with your TTC tip – telling someone to relax will only make them irritated! 🙂

Sara E says:

congrats on your fundraiser… what an awesome job!

and… welcome back to SITS! 🙂

When my husband and I first started TTC we didn’t tell anyone…it was great and we got pg on our first shot! But unfortunatly I miscarried and had a really rough summer….now that we are TTC again there is a lot of STRESS! People know we are trying and like you said they ask questions and talk about it.. I love talking about it, but sometimes it gets wierd b/c it’s totally our of my hands! Good luck this month!

I’ll happen when it happens!

IT will, I mean. 🙂

G Lucciano says:

its always a pleasure to visit your blog.
Quite enjoyable.

G Lu

I got annoyed by two things: 1. the question, “are you pregnant yet?” hated that one like poison! then i realized that it was my fault for telling family and friends that we were ttc. lesson learned: keep it to ourselves unless we want constant inquiries about the occupation of my womb; 2. the comment, “don’t stress about it” was only annoying if it followed THE QUESTION. I tend to stress out even when it doesn’t feel like I am, so every now and them I did appreciate the reminder to relax and release tension.

I know the it’ll happen when you stop trying works for some people but in reality not for most. Good luck with ttc. We tried for 2 years to have my son. I can totally relate to all the “well-meaning” comments and questions.

karmapearl says:

People who never had to TRY for a baby, or just “had it happen to them” just don’t understand! One of the most infuriating things I ever heard while TTC was “relax and it will happen!” or “don’t think about it, it will happen when you least expect it!”

…………. in my case, that actually WORKED… The ONE month I wasn’t paying attention to TTC was finally the month we conceived. But still! It never ceased to irritate and annoy me when people would give their helpful little tidbits of advice. Blah.

Good luck to you!

Thank you for your sweet comments on my last blog post!! 🙂

Best wishes with your pregnancy!!! 🙂

Mammatalk says:

Lots of luck and good wishes!! I just know it’ll all work out.

(Oh, and if ya gotta minute. Maybe you can put a good word in for me over at that Scary Mommy contest. I am just nuts over the prizes! I noticed you commented before me just now! :+)

Oh, and enjoy the baby making process. Although, I am sure you and hubs got that whole thing covered!

Katie says:

I love how THEY ask you, and when you answer, they yell at YOU for talking about it. So obnoxious.

MoDLin says:

I just wanted to say thanks SOOOOOO much for taking all that time to support the March of Dimes. You’re the BEST!

Joan says:

Great comments and glad you are doing well and handling things the way you want and help for others, good luck to you and yours

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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