I wouldn’t say I’m a bad person, but I haven’t been the best person lately either. Ever since switching to the morning weekend anchor schedule at work I’ve loved having less sleep, and more time with my family, but my church life has suffered tremendously. It was my #1 worry with taking on the new schedule and sadly, it’s taking the toll I feared it would.
I get a long break during the same time as sacrament meeting. So if I dress for church, I can rush over, meet my family, and enjoy one of the three hours of service before rushing back to work. The only problem is the moment my daughter sees me, she immediately wants to nurse and begs and screams until I take her to the nursing lounge, which usually results in me missing sacrament and/or listening to all of the meeting from the speakers in that room. Now, add in my husband’s new busy schedule, and my weekend break hour is a good time for him to squeeze in an extra hour for studying, so add in going home, changing and taking her to church with me before taking her back and heading back to work. I’ll admit, I haven’t been that dedicated.
I’ve promised myself I’d read the scriptures a half hour a night to make up for missing Sundays but that’s easier said than done. I’ve just been happy we still keep up with family prayers.
We recently went and it was more amazing than I had imagined. Not only was it awesome to see my grandmother on stage with a musical icon, but it was a great spiritual experience. And awesome to hear Sister Knight’s testimony. Oh, and to hear gospel music and loud beats boom through our LDS chapel. We weren’t used to that.
It was also an excellent missionary opportunity. People of all shades came and some people who had never stepped foot in an LDS church sang along in praises to gospel songs they knew shouting “AMEN!” in affirmation, clapping, and standing when they felt moved. It was incredible.
They are touring the country and if you have the chance to see them I’d go. It’s free and unbelievable.
I left and kept saying to my husband “Doesn’t that make you want to be better?” “Doesn’t it make you want to do better? I want to be a better person.”
It’s often how I felt when leaving church on Sundays (well, before having my daughter, since then, I’ve started to hate Sundays as they’ve been utterly exhausting, and I’m excited if I catch the topic of the lesson).
This was amazing, and just what I needed. I’m not a horrible person, and I’ll never be perfect. But I can be better, and I will.