Spiritually Reignited

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I wouldn’t say I’m a bad person, but I haven’t been the best person lately either. Ever since switching to the morning weekend anchor schedule at work I’ve loved having less sleep, and more time with my family, but my church life has suffered tremendously. It was my #1 worry with taking on the new schedule and sadly, it’s taking the toll I feared it would.

I get a long break during the same time as sacrament meeting. So if I dress for church, I can rush over, meet my family, and enjoy one of the three hours of service before rushing back to work. The only problem is the moment my daughter sees me, she immediately wants to nurse and begs and screams until I take her to the nursing lounge, which usually results in me missing sacrament and/or listening to all of the meeting from the speakers in that room. Now, add in my husband’s new busy schedule, and my weekend break hour is a good time for him to squeeze in an extra hour for studying, so add in going home, changing and taking her to church with me before taking her back and heading back to work. I’ll admit, I haven’t been that dedicated.

I’ve promised myself I’d read the scriptures a half hour a night to make up for missing Sundays but that’s easier said than done. I’ve just been happy we still keep up with family prayers.

A prayer for a chance to be reignited was answered when my grandmother told me her choir was coming to my town! She’s in Glady’s Knight’s Saints of Unified Voices choir. It was a chance for my husband and I to hire a babysitter, and go on a date together, but also a chance to feel something I’ve been missing.

We recently went and it was more amazing than I had imagined. Not only was it awesome to see my grandmother on stage with a musical icon, but it was a great spiritual experience. And awesome to hear Sister Knight’s testimony. Oh, and to hear gospel music and loud beats boom through our LDS chapel. We weren’t used to that.

It was also an excellent missionary opportunity. People of all shades came and some people who had never stepped foot in an LDS church sang along in praises to gospel songs they knew shouting “AMEN!” in affirmation, clapping, and standing when they felt moved. It was incredible.

They are touring the country and if you have the chance to see them I’d go. It’s free and unbelievable.

I left and kept saying to my husband “Doesn’t that make you want to be better?” “Doesn’t it make you want to do better? I want to be a better person.”

It’s often how I felt when leaving church on Sundays (well, before having my daughter, since then, I’ve started to hate Sundays as they’ve been utterly exhausting, and I’m excited if I catch the topic of the lesson).

This was amazing, and just what I needed. I’m not a horrible person, and I’ll never be perfect. But I can be better, and I will.

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  1. The last thing you are is a horrible person. You are a beautiful mother, amazing career woman, and wonderful person all around. It happens to the best of us. I need to get more spiritual too. I watch Joel Osteen on Sunday mornings, but I feel like I should do more.

  2. jen this was a great post!! I feel the same way… not BAD per se, just that I can manage to be a lot better. I got my awakening last night with the relief society conference… you should look up uchtdorfs talk if you missed it… it gave me the warm fuzzies and a fire lit beneath me to be a better mom, wife, person, and stop kicking myself over silly insignificant things 🙂 you ARE doing a GREAT job!!!

  3. This was a great post.I think you do an execellent job of balancing work,your hubby’s schedule, taking care of Lil J, your blog, all the others you write for, the modeling AND updated pictures! Mama, you are doing a FANTASTIC job! God understands this and knows you have not forgotten him, so give your self the credit you deserve.

    If you are bad, then I must be the devil’s cell mate because we haven’t been to church since we’ve been back from Jamaica! My excuse is that our travel threw our schedule off. Plus my hubby, God bless him, loves to sleep! So he has not minded much. You’ve touched on what my thoughts have been lately about “doing more” and “trying to be a better person”.

  4. Is it sad that I didn’t know Gladys Knight is LDS. I would LOVE for her to come down here (FL) and sing…I would definitely go to that!

    I felt horrible today because not only did we go to church late and missed 80% of Sacrament, we ended up leaving because my kids were awful. Ugh. DH is not a member, so when the kids act up it’s all me. My 1 & 3 year old were both crying and sad today. I’ve been trying to get my boy used to Nursery before he’s official in Nov. and now he cries every time a walk 2 steps away from him. My 3 year old was having tantrums constantly and I just gave up and was not feeling very spiritual at all. I’m in the Primary presidency, so it looks pretty bad when my child is causing the most problems. Now we have a 2 week “break” from regular church. I really hope it’s better when we go back.

    Oh and all the women were talking about the conference I missed yesterday. I should really sit down and read some of it. Mainly President Uchtdorf’s.

  5. love this post, it happens to everyone. what a great event to attend, love seeing gladys perform. I second the other person’s comment, read/watch/listen to pres uchtdorf’s talk from last night. it will make you feel better and change your perspective a bit.

  6. Church with kids is always a battle. It was easy to get out the house on time when it was just Moo but now with JJ in the mix we haven’t made to church in a while. I too feel bad about this and am going to try harder to make it to church.

  7. one of the ladies from gladys’ choir is in my ward. it is always wonderful to hear the great stories she has to tell about the different places they’ve been and the people whose lives have been touched by the message they bring. awesome that your grandmother is a part of the choir.

  8. Church is really hard with little ones! A lot of the time I don’t get much out of the talks/sermons but something my mom told me keeps me going. She said that at this stage I am going to church more for the kids than for myself. It sets a great example of what we do on the Sabbath. So even though it’s frustrating, think about the example you are setting for your daughter. That’s what helps me anyway. And it gets better as they get older too and can attend nursery and primary classes. I love watching general conference addresses on lds.org too. I can do that while making dinner or folding laundry. It’s a good spiritual boost! 🙂

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