He says/ She says: Cutting our son’s hair

Hair. You’d be surprised how often we talk about this topic in my home. With three naturally curly-haired people (well, actually all of us, including my husband, though he’s never let it grow out long enough for me to see his natural curl pattern) we’ve got a lot of product, prepping, and planning that goes into our hairstyles.

A humorous blog post about how to decide when to cut your baby's hair. Lately my husband is convinced that our son is ready for his first hair cut. Ok, so his hair is kinda a fro, I get it, but it’s so adorable and in a way, his signature (at least in my mind). The thought of changing him in any way makes me so sad. I wanted to trust my husband and go along with his hair ideals, until he told me the kind of cut he had in mind.

How to decide when to cut your baby's hair.

He says (for the 50th time this month): I really think we should cut his hair.
She says: No way, his curls are adorable.
He says: Just for the summer. It’s hot. Besides Don’t you think he’d look cool with a high-top fade?
She says: What? And make him look like he belongs in the 80s? No thanks. And besides, do you know how crazy you’d look walking into a barbershop asking to hook your kid up with a high-top fade?
He says: Good point.
She says: Besides, I don’t want his curls to change.
He says: What are you talking about? Cutting your hair doesn’t cause your hair to grow back differently.
She says: Yes it does. Several people have told me this happened to them.
He says: That doesn’t even make sense. It’s a myth.
She says: I don’t think so.
He says: How long do you want his hair to grow?
She says: I don’t know, not much longer, then he can get a trim.
He says: You should just let me cut it.
She says: [Expletives]

A humorous blog post about how to decide when to cut your baby's hair.

Am I crazy? Is it just a myth that if you shave off your kid’s hair (or even cut it down quite a bit) that it could mess with the curl pattern? According to this I’m totally wrong. But I’m scared to risk it. Lil’ J has never had a hair cut, and I’ve only ever really gotten trims myself. the idea of a drastic hairstyle change on my one-year-old gives me a bit of anxiety. Plus what if the hair cut sucks? Maybe I’ll bobby pin the sides and see how this style would look on him. But right now I can’t get an image out of my mind and I can tell you right now my baby will not be walking around looking like this:

kid n play high-top fade

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  1. Please don’t cut his amazing curls just yet! The curly haired boys in our circle whose textures are like your sons wait until around 2 or 3 to cut it. For Nia she’ll get a trim at 5. Baby curls are the best!

    1. I love that you have a great plan already! Lil’ J’s hair is to her waist when pulled straight and I’ve been wondering when it’ll be time to get her a trim. I was thinking around 4 or 5 as well. But my SON.. sheesh, give me a couple years at least right? I love his hair! That said, I don’t want it to get as long as his sister’s. haha.

  2. Umm. Please do not cut his hair! He looks so handsome. If you want to cut it wait until he’s like 3 (IMHO). I won’t shave my sons’ hair or cut it too short either; I don’t want their texture to change and I love my boys’ curls the way they are.

  3. I say cut it. But not into a high top fade. lol It will be easier to comb out, won’t take near as much product (which in our case, our product of choice is $$ so will = less money spent), and will = less time to do his hair. All pluses. I have a 4 year old son with similar hair to your sons and I always do the cutting. Since his hair is so curly no one will ever know if each strand isn’t the same exact length, I just try to get them close to the same length. And no, the curl pattern/texture hasn’t changed with any of his hair cuts and he’s probably had 20 haircuts in the last 3.5 years.

  4. I can understand not wanting to cut it, it feels like ending babyhood. But maybe dad is wanting a little man who looks more similar to him in hairstyle. Some men get pretty upset when their boys look even a hint girlish. I have heard of a full on slick head shave changing hair texture, but that’s it. I say cut it, it will grow back! Ps please don’t wait til he’s 3 like the ladies above suggest. He’ll either have a massive fro or look like a girl.

  5. Umm cutting tray and davens hair totally changed their curl pattern , really the whole texture changed. That’s why I do not cut Zay or Rys hair, except for a trim.

  6. Ummmm, no way! Don’t cut it. My son, Thaddeus’ hair is getting longer (he’s 17 months) and we’re not cutting it. He has more of a “fro-hawk”-long on the top and short on the sides. And that’s HIS signature look.

  7. I agree with Kelley… go ahead and cut it. Our son’s 1st haircut was when he turned 1. He had a good fro going on, which was a bit of a challenge to manage. My not-the-typical-white-girl-hair is thick and course. His father’s hair is thick and wavy. That combination is lethal…lol… Both of my (biracial) kids had enough hair for 3 people. Well they still DO!~ Anyway, his first haircut took a little while. The barber used a large pick to lift my son’s curls as he clipped them. Well, he lifted and Lifted and LIFTED and even remarked…”kid’s got more hair than I thought! lol” I figured if I’d blown it out straight, it probably would’ve fallen several few inches below his shoulders. no kidding! I kept his first layer of curls (actually still have them, now some 33 yrs later) and saw MANY more since the first haircut. They came right back! The best part of the whole thing was that his hair was WAY more manageable and required a lot LESS product.

  8. OMG!!! I have grown so use to it I would miss it so πŸ™‚ He is gorgeous with it but sure if you decided to cut he would still be the same. Can’t wait to see what you guys decide xo

  9. NOOO, DON”T CUT IT!!! Your son is gorgeous. Your daughter too. They have a beautiful head full of gorgeous hair. My children have the same hair. Because of pressure from my surroundings I cut my son’s hair when he was 2,5 years old. He had a head full of curls and people were alway’s pinpointing that he “had too long hair, that people will mistake him for a girl, it’s to hot and he’ll sweat a ton”, all the nonsense. I cut his hair and it was the worst decision I had made. He hated it and me too. He is 6 years now with a big full curly hairdo. It is gorgeous. I will not cut his hair anytime soon and he doesn’t want it either. He has won multiple model contest all because of the hair because he is a stand out in the crowd. When we’re outdoor strangers ask me to take pictures of him with the hair. Maybe off topic, but it really annoys me that strangers dare to comment on my children’s big curly hair. If we don’t want to cut the hair let us be!! If you don’t like what you see look the other way. My son with his hair in the following link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cDVmlGlSJM

  10. My vote is leave the baby curls intact, too cute to cut! As for the curl pattern, it will change naturally even if you don’t cut. The hair at birth is softer, less curly, and finer than the hair of a toddler. It will go through about three more changes before he is an adult. I have two curly haired boys and love their curls! Tell your hubby to wait a little while longer because Big T has a fan base that is in love with his curls!

  11. I probably have no right to comment as my year-old baby has hardly any hair! He’s had two haircuts because the back keeps growing into a mullet while the top is short! But here’s my two cents…I wouldn’t let it get much longer than it is now because I think at some point the hair becomes such a focal point that it could overpower HIM a bit, you know? I’d rather have the kid that everyone knows because of his personality, rather than being the kid with the hair…and while I’m not saying that’s right, it happens and I think the hair could start overshadowing the rest of his awesomeness. It’s adorable at this length and I think he wears it well, but past this point, I think it might get to be a bit much. So, once you finally decide to cut it, just trim it. Just a little bit off won’t hurt and shouldn’t change the curl pattern on its own. You can see how you feel about it a little shorter, and if you don’t like it, it will grow back.

    1. I think that’s a little bit silly. People are frequently reduced to easily identifiable physical attributes (race, hair colour, breast size), and it in no way changes your personality or overshadows who you are. And if it does you’re hanging around the wrong kind of people.

  12. I’m all for cutting the hair. It’s hair. It’ll grow back. And hair in the summer makes you sooooo uncomfortable.

  13. dont cut it, there is a high chance when you do his curl pattern will change and when it does grow back it will not be the same pattern, trims are good.

  14. While I truly love my little mans curls I did allow hair cuts. Although the hubby went nuts the first few times it has grown back just fine. I now remind him when it’s hair cut time to leave curls on the top. I love how all the highlights show when the side is cut close. I have to say it does being out his gorgeous face and gives his face a different look. I know it hard to let go but you can compromise and have it grow out in the winter. Also it’s best to get him use to the barber now.

  15. Nooooo! Don’t do it! My 5 year old just convinced me to chop her gorgeous curls off and they are gone now. I’m devastated! She had beautiful tight curls as a baby and toddler (think Shirley Temple), and as her hair grew they weighed down but still ended in ringlets at the bottom. Now? Just waves. One ringlet at the very front of her hair. Your sons hair is so perfect, unless it seems like the heat is seriously bothering him this summer I would totally leave them be.

  16. Oh, please find a compromise without cutting much of his adorable hair! Maybe just trimming the ends a quarter of an inch with scissors? It is not a good idea to cut his hair very shorr or shave it. It will most certainly change the curl pattern and possibly interfere with growth – it may not ever look the same again. before deciding to do anything please consult with a stylist who has experience with ethnic hair. My stylist told me that are biracial daughter’s hair should not be cut at any time before the age of 6. Something about its stunting future growth.It’s just such an adorable look for him and he is only one. I know little boys who are four with mor hair than your son and and it looks fine. God bless!

  17. I think a trim, maybe, in a little while but his curls are SO PERFECT!! I remember cutting Chunks’s hair for the first time (it was a bush! no pretty curls lol) but right after the first cut he was a BIG boy. For some reason, the baby face goes right away. The curl pattern won’t change because of a cut, it’s naturally yours but if done wrong the strands can grow in differently. Good luck with whatever your choose.

  18. A lot of people think that curl pattern changes when you cut a baby’s hair, but actually the curl pattern changes on its own over time. I think it’s just much more obvious when you chop it all off and the hair that grows back is dramatically different! Lol πŸ˜› But I wouldn’t cut his hair for a while. I think there’s too much emphasis placed on boys (and black boys especially) that hair has to always be short and close to the scalp. His hair is beautiful and boyish and wonderful πŸ™‚

  19. Don’t – not yet! Let him be a little guy with those handsome curls. I’ve searched your blog attempting to find hair care routines for your son. Our son has very similar hair texture and curls and just turned one. I would love to know what you do. Maybe it’s posted and I’m just missing it!

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