Perfectly Mixed: Ditching My Cosmetic Contacts Once and For All

When I pictured what our daughter would look like I hoped she would have my eye shape and my husband’s eye color. He has very wide, stunning blue eyes. They were the first thing I noticed when I saw him, and still one of my favorite physical qualities of his.


I like the almond shape of my eyes though, and thought they’d look striking in a lighter color on our little girl.

But what do you know, she got the exact opposite. And they couldn’t be cuter.

Last week I was in a hair shop buying some rollers when another black woman walked in and asked the man behind the counter if they sold color contacts. I stood by and watched as he pulled the case of display contacts out from their hiding space under the register, and watched as the woman looked them over.

She was beautiful. When she looked up I noticed she had lighter eyes than mine. Very light. And based on her purchase inquiry, they were most likely colored contacts. It reminded me of a phase I went through. Starting in high school, and through most of college I wore gray colored contacts. Grey sounds weird but they looked a pretty hazel when I wore them. I didn’t wear glasses, and I didn’t need contacts. My vision is perfect. They were strictly cosmetic.

I liked the way they made me look–Different. I stood out, and got compliments almost daily on my “beautiful” eyes.

I wore them when I met my husband, on television, even at our wedding. He preferred I didn’t wear them, but I liked them so I kept the habit. It wasn’t until I did an internship in Atlanta the summer before I graduated college that I decided to toss them.

There was a reporter I looked up to who took me under his wing. He was the youngest reporter at this powerhouse station, and he also happened to be black. He always told me what he thought straight up, and was never afraid to hold back with me.

I’ll never forget what he asked me:

“Why don’t you do you?”

“What?” The question caught me off guard. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Why are you pretending to be someone you’re not? You don’t need to change the color of your eyes.”

I pointed out another reporter at the station who was doing the same thing but he didn’t take that as an excuse, and told me I should get rid of them.

So I did.


The next day I went in for the first time in a long time, with the eyes I was born with.

“See, you have beautiful brown eyes,” he told me. “Dark brown eyes, the ones you were given.”

Thankfully, we’ve remained friends over the years and he continues to be a mentor of mine and give me advice when I need it.

That conversation has stuck with me a long time and I often have to check myself and remember to just “do me.”

I’m glad I learned this lesson and came to love myself, and my eyes before my daughter was born. Her eyes were light gray for a day, but turned as black as mine by day two.


They’re big and wide like her daddy’s and dark like mine. They’re mine and his. They’re beautiful, and perfectly mixed

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  1. what gorgeous eyes!!! I cant believe you ever wanted to hide those lovely brown eyes!!! I love that your daughter has your eyes and they are GORGEOUS!! dustin is the opposite… his eyes are drews color but my shape. funny how that works out!! brilliant post as usuall!!

  2. All of you have gorgeous eyes! My husband and I are both black. His eyes are a gorgeous cat shape and are the blackest brown; mine are big and almond shaped and are a visibly lighter shade of brown – though not hazel.

    Our daughter has almond shaped eyes (mine), which are bright blue of the most part – though they have a speck of brown in the bottom of them.

    We kept waiting for her eyes to change, but they haven’t so far and she’s 3. I think those are just her eyes – beautiful, unexplained and perfect.

    I love the idea of just doing ‘you’

  3. Our kids all have different color eyes, although I never really looked at or paid attention to their shapes. My eyes are light blue and my husbands are a dark brown – complete polar opposites. Chana’s eyes are hazel, Dovid’s are dark brown like the hubby’s, and Tzipora’s are a medium blue (not quite as light as mine). I never thought I’d have a child with blue eyes since Shmuel’s whole family has dark eyes, but I guess sometimes genetics just works this way. ๐Ÿ™‚ All eyes are beautiful.

  4. I love your eye shape. My youngest has blue eyes like my husbands dad, but has my eye shape.
    My oldest has my eye shape and dark brown eyes like me.
    My husband has hazel eyes with little drops of blue and green in them.
    I never thought one of my babies would have blue eyes & blond hair and look very white. But he surely does. I tell ya genes are amazing.

  5. Great post! I wore chestnut contacts when I met my hubby and I had a similar convo with him! Now I couldn’t even imagine covering my natural eye color. Dark eyes are so beautiful!

  6. Glad that you finally found comfort in doing you. I’m thankful that my mom didn’t allow me to get colored contacts. My eyes were one of the things that my husband says drew him to me in the first place. Not sure if he would have been drawn to me if they had been green or blue.

  7. What a beautiful post! I love that you came to realize… that you just wanted to do you! That is something I think many people.. myself included.. have trouble doing!

    Each one of you has beautiful eyes – unique to the person. Your daughter’s eyes are a wonderful combination of both you and your husbands. All perfect!

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