Our Perfect Pair


On our first dream board my husband and I printed and glued stock photos of two kids. A boy and a girl. These images were symbols of our dream children. Just two, like a brand new pair of shoes, they’d be our perfect pair.

We were excited for the future but we also had some fears. I worried they would look nothing like me and I’d spend a lifetime swatting off “are you the nanny?” questions.

And then what it would be like for our little biracial children growing up? We weren’t sure where we’d be living–Utah, Georgia, the Midwest, or the South. Would our children fit in or stick out? Both my husband and I have lived experiences on either end of the spectrum, but we knew things would be different still for our children. If neither I or their dad ever really understood what it felt like to be multiracial, at least they would share that in common.

Now, more than a decade later, we’re in the middle of Texas (the best part, if I might add) my children are homeschooled and a part of diverse co-ops and athletic activities. My worries about them being different or not fitting in have dwindled significantly.

We wished for a brother and sister pair and that’s what we got. We hoped they’d be best friends, and while some days that title is debatable–Most of the time, they are best friends.

“He wants to match me,” my daughter will often say as I’m dressing her brother.

So I grabbed his Stride Rite sandals and a pink shirt to go along with her new sandals and colorful outfit.

She is a thoughtful big sister. She looks out for him, defends him, helps him with little tasks and wants nothing more than to snuggle and squeeze the dickens out of him.

He prefers her company over her hugs, but there’s no one else he’d rather play with. And if you ask him who his favorite friends is, he always replies “my sister!”

Things won’t not always be easy for these two. Some of their battles may be about their differences from others, and they may feel like it’s them against the world. Other times they’ll likely team up opposite of their dad and I. And more than likely, many of their battles will be disagreements between each other. But the important thing is they’re on the same team. Two kids from two parents who dreamt of them long before they were born.

Our perfect little pair teaming up to take on the world.

How do your kids get along?

 I’m teaming up with Stride Rite over the next few months to share our family adventures and style. These are Lil’ J’s Mellie sandals she loves to wear with everything from shorts to dresses. And Big T’s are the cute Issac Sandals, perfect for outings where he may get wet. We also are loving this new Lottie style as well at the Perlas. Stay tuned for more of Lil’ J’s fashion shoots. She can’t wait to show you.  

Siblings can be the worst of enemies or the best of friends. How we've overcome our fears of raising biracial children in America.

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  1. This was a great read for me! As a newish (my daughter is only 10 months old) mom of a biracial daughter, I can relate to many of the concerns you mention. It is nice to be able to link with other biracial families via the internet and social media. I appreciate your outlook and I’m glad to hear your babies are doing well and the worries have dwindled a bit. You have a beautiful family!

  2. This is the sweetest post I’ve read today. They are absolutely adorable! Growing up on our family’s farm it was my brother and I and we were always the best of pals. I’m not sure if it was because he thought I was cool .. or if I was the only one to play with! What a beautiful family you have

  3. Your kids are so cute. I really wish I had another child with my daughter for her to be best friends with. I am sad that we don’t have that. But the relationship just was not right after we had my daughter so it’s for the best, even if I am sad for her.

  4. What a beautiful post! How cool that you had a vision board with a boy and a girl and it came true! You are doing a great job and your children are adorable. I hope they continue to blossom with you guiding them along the way.

  5. Super cute and a very lovely post. I have 7 kids, and while they get along for the most part my girls are bad with fighting with each other constantly. they are 10 mo apart, and its hard!

  6. How cute are your kids. Awww that you got the dream that you wanted. This is a beautiful story and I love how much you love each other. How beautiful!

  7. I have no kids yet but would love to have my own in the near future. I want them to grow loving each other too. I love how you captured them. Very candid and looks like they really enjoy each others company.

  8. Your kiddos are adorable! So cute! My kids – the younger two – are best friends as well. They are 22 months apart. My older two used to be Best Friends..til the teen years! lol

  9. I debated a lot about having kids because I was afraid I’d never be able to understand what life would be like for my multiracial children and end up making things even more confusing for them. I literally broke into a sweat when I got pregnant. My poor husband, who is best at calming me simply said, “We can only do our best.” And that’s what we’ve done. We have two incredible little humans who amaze us every day with their kindness, humor, and intelligence. Our son is so protective of his little sister, and she in turn is fascinated by everything he does. I know we won’t be able to shield them from all unkindness, but I do know that they will put good into the world.

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