On the Cusp of a Nervous Breakdown

This morning I woke up, looked at my iPhone countdown and realized there’s approximately 90 days until Ladybug arrives. 90 freaking days. Then I turned at looked at her room and my body filled with anxiety.

13 weeks, three months, 90 days. However you want to look at it, it’s not that far away. Remember how quickly that 90 day warranty ran out on your expensive washing machine? That’s how long I have. And while I’ve crossed off much on my baby shopping list I feel like there’s still so much more to do.
I STILL haven’t put up her crib. Why am I putting the crib up? Read that explanation here. I still need a dresser. I have nothing on the walls, I need to find a border to decorate the room with, buy a car seat, so we can actually take her home, and finally start buying diapers.
I hardly get any time to do these things since I work so much. And then when people at work get mad at me for messing up the spelling of something I want to scream at them and say: “YEA? WELL I STILL HAVEN’T PRE-WASHED MY CLOTHES!” I mean really… What’s more important?
I KNOW I still have time. I know it’s not the end of the world and that lots of people set things up long after the baby is born, but I am just one of those people who likes to get big projects done early. ESPECIALLY when I have no idea when she actually will come. I sometimes worry she’ll come a month early and nothing will be ready.
Don’t even get me started on the fact that we haven’t started looking for a pediatrician yet. I’m not sure where to start. I am already signed up for my Lamaze class, and set to get prepped for labor but that’s ONE DAY of this entire HUGE process!
I would love to have a mattress for her bed, crib and dresser set up, and room decorated by the end of April. That would give me another two months to deep clean my house, stock up on more diapers, and just relax the rest of my pregnancy.
Part of me is so overly excited to meet her and I want the last few months to fly by, but another part of me enjoys being pregnant, and planning and preparing.
I’m used to working on deadlines, but I’ve gotta say, this is my scariest one to date.

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  1. breathe. breathe. breathe. I totally know what you’re going through. And if it’s any consolation, all the things I thought would HAVE TO be done before the baby arrived weren’t all that necessary. clean house? yes. nursery completed? not necessarily. the boy hasn’t slept more than 10 minutes in his own room/crib. he’s still in a bassinet/pack n play in our room. . .

    just have a weekly “hit list” and do what you can without stressing yourself out. it’ll all work out in the end, no matter what!

  2. This is where the “honey do” list comes in handy. I actually ordered my crib mattress on Wal-Mart’s website. It was like $45 plus 97 cents shipping. She’s perfectly fine in it and it seems stable. You won’t be putting the crib together, will you? (It’s a frustrating process but fairly quick.)
    Ordering and having stuff delivered saved me a lot of time and headaches. Baby laundry and putting away the clothes took me the most amount of time. It was about 6 hours all together. You’ll be surprised with how little you really need for the first month or two. You still have plenty of time 🙂

  3. >pediatrician
    Ask neighbors who they use and who they like. Ask your OB for a recommendation in your area.Look him up online for others’ reviews. Call and ask his office staff:
    -accepting new patients?
    -accept my insurance?
    -if you don’t get a recommendation, you can call the office and ask for the pediatrician to call you. Have specific questions you want to ask:
    –what’s your child rearing philosophy? (breastfeeding,shots, colds…wellness visits etc)
    –do you charge for phone calls?
    –do you have a “sick-child” waiting room?
    –do you have saturday/evening hours?
    –ask about special needs if your child has them.
    He’s really busy, so be quick and to the point.

    You can also ask for a recommendation at the hospital.

    I favor ALL free-and-clear over Dreft (less perfumes which can be irritating to baby’s skin)
    If you don’t have a washer/dryer think about getting one. Babies are messy!!

    This will get harder to do the longer you put it off. Plus, walking into baby’s room and seeing the crib all cute and filled with stuffed animals….SOOOOO CUTE. Seeing the crib will make you happy every time you see it.

    I think a cradle swing is more essential for fewer sleepless nights: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Rainforest-Open-Top-Cradle-Swing/dp/B000I2WAY4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1269716913&sr=8-3
    I favor this one because it plugs into the wall OR uses batteries. Plus it’s not that expensive. Well worth the money.

    -diapers.com or amazon.com(with amazon prime and grocery) will deliver diapers to your door once a month.

    the last 3 months are the most snuggly! Enjoy 🙂

  4. I was just like you when I was pregnant with my son. I wanted everything to be ready before he came and I know I stressed over it way too much! I had a healthy, normal pregnancy…until I was 34 weeks pregnant. I went in for a routine check-up (on my birthday no less). My doc took my blood pressure 3 times and said, “Uh, you need to get to the hospital right now”. My BP was elevated so much that I was in hyper-tension, admitted into the hospital and was told that I would not be leaving until I had my son. A few days later I was induced and my son came a few days after that. Because his lungs were underdeveloped, he was transferred to another hospital and was in the NICU for 10 days. I went home the day after he was born without him and let me tell you, that was definitely NOT in my “Plans”.
    My point in telling you my story is, as much as you want to be prepared before your little girl arrives, there really is not much that you can do, but take it one day at a time. All of the “things” you need or want to get done before she arrives are just that…”Things”. Most important is that your baby is healthy. I have come to learn that schedules/plans should be made to be flexible. Kids are so unpredictable. Anyway, I hope that helps. Everything will come together, I know it!

  5. AHHH I totally know what you are going through. I am a few weeks head of you, and everything you mentioned above I still need to do too! So crazy! I am worried about it not getting done, but a lot of people say I will get a lot of that for my shower… I guess we’ll see. Until then, I am trying to stay on track! Good luck! 🙂

  6. Glade was born about a week after we got the carseat. My dad set up her room while we were in the hospital with her still. I never washed any of her cloths before she wore them. I bought my pump as we were driving to the NICU.

    We literally had nothing! And it all worked out. And after she was born we never used her room except to store things, so even the stuff that we set up after she was born was just sitting there taking up space.

    Be patient! Things do work out. And even if you don’t get the crib up before she arrives, you will get it done when you’re ready.

    Being a parent is more about living in the now than planning everything. If you try to plan it all out, you will inevitably just go crazy.

    Giant hugs and deep breaths! Parenting is hard, but take it one moment at a time, and you will never regret the small things.

  7. We’ve never prewashed any clothes (or used special detergent), so unless you suspect that she will have really sensitive skin, you can cross that off your list. And after a year of dealing with an inept ped’s office (docs were good, sadly), we started taking our daughter to the GP that the rest of the family visits.

    Most of all, relax. Women do this every day and have forever. You can get through this. 🙂

  8. I agree with those that say the “things” you say you need to get done, are not necessarily things that have to be done.
    Carseat -yes, a must

    Crib – depends, ours usually slept with us – i did not like the idea of traveling 1/2 a sleep in the middle of the night to pick up a hungry baby every 3 hours. That is crazy. So, not a necessity and even if you just want it up…um…what about DAD??? Where’s HIS checklist of things to get done? hahah

    Wash – um. Nah. I’ve had four babies and only with the first did I do that (because people kept telling me to do it and I was clueless) until I learned it really was NOT necessary. After that, I never pre-washed. In addition it’s true – your child won’t really wear much more than a onesie, socks and a bib the first few months anyway with the occasional 2-3 outfits for special outings. Especially summer babies. You’ll see when she’s born – my summer baby was in onesies ALL the time.

    Pediatrician – referrals are good but just pick one that you’re comfortable with. And like one poster mentioned, a GP is just as capable of providing great care to your child.

    Just relax and enjoy your last few months of pregnancy. Everything will fall into place. It always does.


  9. Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

    I so remember being right where you were at in the last few weeks of both my pregnancies. It’s a hard spot to be at. You are so excited to meet the babe, yet you know you are going to miss that “pregnant” feeling, yet you have a million things you need to get done too. Hang in there and my best advice it to try and relax and enjoy those last few weeks of kicking, turning, moving. You will truly miss it when it is over, even though that babe will be in your arms instead!

  10. Wow- you have such a cute blog page! Reading this reminded me of “nesting” right before my due date. I became obsessed with cleaning floorboards, window tracks, and beneath the washer and dryer! I must have known that i wouldn’t be able to clean them again for the next FIVE years! My last 2 were scheduled c-sections which REALLY helps with the whole planning thing – but you’ll do fine! : )

    Happy SITS Saturday!

  11. Hello, I just found your blog. I know that it is hard, but I wouldn’t stress about too much.
    When we were looking for a pediatrician, I brought my list of local doctors to one of my OB visits and the nurses pointed out some of the good doctors. Then we interviewed a couple to see who we liked.

  12. Over from SITS

    First thing: cancel that lamaze class! Totally useless and you can use that time to prewash the clothes! 😉

    Go see movies without animated characters, since you won’t again for the next six years or so!

    Talk on the phone and cook dinner and even take a shower without anyone grabbing your leg or screaming MOMMY!

    Before you know it, your baby will be here and you will be so in love you won’t even notice if the border’s not up in her room.

    Congrats to you!

  13. Oh my goodness you sound just like me.. 🙂 I was that way, and am getting that way too. We are staying with my aunt and uncle right now, space is tight, but we are already organizing, and the only thing left to buy is the Stroller/Carseat set, a monitor, diaper and wipe stash, and if he comes early smaller clothes. lol. As for washing the clothes, I always wait until I am about 34 weeks to do it. Last time, I did it just in time. 🙂 Hoping you are doing ok! Hugs

  14. The best way to find a pediatrician that everyone loves is to ask your mom friends. You’re friends that are moms can be a great source for finding great stuff for kids. I was lucky when our first son was born because my uncle is a fabulous pediatrician, but then we moved out of state. I met a few moms who told me about a doctor they really love, and they were right, she’s fantastic.

  15. Things will work out but if you are stressed tear the list of things to do in half and give one side to hubby to help you finish. Congrats to you both, you both must be so excited!

  16. Stopping by from SITS! Congratulations on your pregnancy! Enjoy the rest of it (yes it does fly fast!) and wishing you a healthy delivery!

  17. Know what thats like!! Just had my baby Jan 23 and it gets crazier afterward!! Aahhh. But youll get it done! The nesting started to kick in it sounds like so just remember to get rest and let ur hubby help you.
    So I really wanting to see if you were going in the cloth diaper route. I didnt think I was and now I love it and its greener and cheaper. Plus there are tons and tons of super cute diapers for girls!! Just something to think about.

  18. three words that saved me and continue to save me. TO DO LIST! When I feel totally overwhelmed I take a step back and about 30 minutes and write out everything I need to do. it has helped me immensely.

    You are doing a great job. Don’t worry what others say. Anyway who gets mad a pregnant women has issues. hahaha…but seriously.

    My first daughter came 6 weeks early. Nothing was ready. And you know what it didn’t matter.

    You are going to be a great mommy. I am soooo excited for you.

  19. I know it seems SO scary! But I promise you still have so much time to get everything done. When I was 30 weeks, I had NOTHING done, and very little for my oldest, We had the crib but not set up, and some clothes. I almost had a melt down. When it came time for our second child, I was even more last minute, and only had clothes in the house for him. Not even diapers. When I went into labor at 38 weeks I flipped out. But we brought him home and all was ok. Hubby went and got a pack of diapers that day.
    Dont stress, you dont need anymore stress!

  20. This made me smile. I have 5 girls, ages 3 months – 11 years and I remember having these moments of anxiety with every single one. The funny thing is, it always gets done. This last time I freaked and we got everything set up 2 weeks before she was born but when I went into labor I went to pick out her first outfit and realized that I hadn’t washed her clothes yet. All the NB clothes were still in a box in the closet! I had put any new clothes we had received away after washing them but forgot all about the hand-me-downs from her sisters which was the bulk of her wardrobe! I threw it all in the washer right away and it was out, dry and folded (by a friend) by the time she was born. A home birth, it worked out perfectly! You’ll get it all done. 😉

    Visiting from SITS!

  21. Gs huh? I hear they are easy if u want to use cloth diapers but dont want much fuss. But I have to say that it was not my idea to cloth diaper at first. I loathed the very idea. I would have to take care of this tiny person all day, most of the nigh by myself and on top of it wash dipaers too!!! AHHH!! lol But after going to a local store I found for breast feeding bras and tanks and finding some thirsties covers and rump-a-roos i fell in love. Plus a friend had a story about her kid getting hyrpes from desposibles….was a bit freaked over that one. My advise if your thinking about it look for a local store and go play with the diaper like i did. lol 😀

  22. YEah I know how that is too. We went the cheapest way and got prefolds, covers, 2 rump-a-roo onesize for night and 2 bummis fitted bamboo for night too. Its not really to too bad if you have enough to do them every 2 or 3 days. thats at least 24 prefolds, I put 2 prefolds in at a time(Id get 40 just in case u have a heavy wetter like me!) Hemp is best for super pee-ers or bamboo. If you really want to save money tho go for onesize ones. The rump-a-roos are a bit bulky for newborns if you have a heavy wetter but onesizes last longer. Or you could check out thirsties duo covers they have 2 sizes. 0-9 and 9-potty. There not bad either at least for us. But like i said if you have a store id go and play with the diapers. (Our store had baby dolls in all sizes to let us try them out on. lol.) Good luck!! And congrats!!!

  23. I totally remember feeling this way too. Take a deep breath and realize you are not alone. What are things you need to do first? Start with a few a week and go from there. You could just use a bassinet or a pack and play for the first few months for ladybug to sleep in. Have your husband set up the crib in the next few weeks. What else? Wash the clothes in dreft and you are good to go. The walls and dresser and everything else will come together. Don’t worry! Sending you hugs!

  24. Look…you will be fine. Just do me three favors:

    1. When the pacifier falls on the floor, don’t sterilize it, just wipe it off with your sleeve and give it back.

    2. When the baby gets home, at night wrap her tightly, feed her and if she wakes up in the middle of the night–let her cry. It will save you and your husband HOURS, no DAYS of sleep. She will stop crying after the first 15 min.

    3. Sing to your baby. Nice and slow.

  25. I’m due in 7 days and I’m more anxious than anything to finally see my little girl. Not knowing when exactly doesn’t help the matter but what can you do? I keep telling myself that I’ll be ready whenever she’s ready.

  26. Ok don’t take this the wrong way Jen, you know I luff you, But girl! Calm down! You will be ok, I laugh at first time mothers. I was the same way, but you learn and live. I agree, no need to pre-wash. nope. If you find out she is sensitive, (which is rare), just Then go out and buy dreft or whatever it is called. can’t remember lol. I am not a clothe diaper woman, not with 7 children, but I have to say they look fun to use, but to wash them.. ugh!!!

    You will getter done, you rock!

  27. Husbands, believe it or not, are AMAZINGLY HELPFUL (they just like to do stuff on their own time). I needed to have the room painted and the crib set up about 5weeks ago (in my opinion)…my hubby JUST did it all this weekend. Most of the stuff I’m prewashing is only b/c it’s hand-me-downs or my pet’s hair got on it (my hubby is a slight germ-a-phobe). Also, baby showers help you calm down slightly (until you see bags and bags of stuff with no room to put it ANYWHERE). In the end, I’m just trying to relax

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