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Number two

My journey has come full circle and I find myself back at the beginning asking myself when the perfect time is to have a baby. But this time it would double my current offspring quota.

I definitely have baby fever… I am ready to do this again. I have been for a while but I didn’t dare share and sound like a psycho with my month-old baby at my hip. Now that said month-old is 10-months old it seems more realistic to be pondering these decisions. I didn’t think I’d blog about it because I’ve been there and done that. Plus Lil’ J gives me so much material to write about anyway (sometimes). But what kind of mom would I be not to at least try to give Number Two the same sort of pre-conception attention?

How far apart in age should they be? Will I be able to handle two kids? How much will childcare cost once we have two and both my husband and I are working? Then what about #3?

Alright,  I’m getting ahead of myself but one can never be too prepared. Well, maybe you can if preparing is driving you crazy, but I’m not crazy just yet.

Like in this stage last time there are some things I need to take care of before I’m in any condition to spawn again. For one, we need a bigger place. Our lease isn’t up until next March and I’d like to move into a three bedroom house. I’m not sure if we’ll want to rent again or be ready to buy, all I know is we’ll need more space because our two bedroom won’t cut it.

I’ve gotta start taking prenatals again, eating better, cutting caffeine, yada yada. Then the biggest obstacle one again is convincing my better half that two are better than one. This is particularly more difficult than the first time because I have to time my strategic non-subtle hints when Lil’ J is in a good mood. For instance I can’t say how fun another baby would be if she’s screaming her head off. It’s when she’s laughing and playing these notions are best shared.

There are a few things I plan to do differently this time around. I shared 10 things here. But I’ve thought of a few more.

For one, I’m not going to be as concerned with the birth. I learned a lot the first time and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Unless I have a change of heart between now and then I plan to use the same OB and hospital, and focus most of my planning energy on after-birth things.

Secondly, I’m not against pre-baby shopping/ saving. Before I was pregnant with Lil’ J I didn’t save baby things. As if it was bad luck or something. This time, I don’t have a problem storing some things. I donated in a charity raffle on my friend’s blog and won a Wonder Bumpers bedding set. I chose a neutral blue/green style to use for Number Two. I may trade it with another friend who has another bumpers set, also neutral that I may like more but obviously there’s not rush at the moment.

About the neutral thing… Since I went crazy with pink on Lil’ J, I think I got that out of my system. If we have another girl I want her to have a royal blue/green theme, which I’d love to use with a boy too. And since most of my pre-birth planning surrounds decorating the nursery, it’s not really necessary to find out what I’m having beforehand. So it’s decided. I don’t want to find out the gender of Number 2 until birth.

If we have another girl I’d be SO HAPPY because we already have girl things, and Lil’ J would have a sister she could grow up with and be close to. But if we have a boy we’d have one of each and how can you get any better than that? I wanted a girl so bad and I already have one, so it honestly doesn’t make a difference to me what the next one is. I’m completely split 50/50 with my preference, so it’ll be a fun surprise.

That said, there’s still SO much time before we’re even close to that point. My heavy “Let’s Make a Baby” campaign won’t start until late this year. At this point it’s about raising campaign dollars and getting supporters. By the time I win the big deciding vote (aka my hubby’s) and move forward with the proposition it will probably 1212. But who knows, I may get lucky.

The good news is until then, this time around I at least still have a charming mini me to keep me company on my journey until the stork comes by my house again.


YUMMommy says:

Number 2 was a complete surprise for us. It took me a while to realize that I was going to be a mom of two under the age of three. However, I do agree that for us 2 is better than one. My husband finally has that boy he will be able to share sports with and take fishing.

If I have learned anything from my pregnancies, it’s to let nature be my guide. Otherwise my fear and insecurity would have kept me from having my little prince. Hoping that your journey to baby number 2 is just as great as it was with J.

I TRIED to leave a comment from my new phone. I was pretty sure I was technically savvy before I got it, but now that I’m unable to even navigate a blog comment, I’m starting to feel like my 80 year old grandmother. Sooo, if you got the other comment, disregard. 🙂

I.am.fired.UP. 🙂 I wasn’t around for the journey to Lil J, so I’m extremely excited to be a part of the next one. Good luck campaigning!

ashalily says:

Our babies were born in the same month and if I were to have a third I would probably want to get pregnant right away to avoid being pregnant the whole summer and to keep my kids close in age. My oldest is going to be 4 in August so they are 3 years apart. They play with each other and love each other and my oldest talks to him like he’s his age lol. I also have two boys and having two of the same is so much fun!

There is no rule about how long you should wait between kids. Mine are 13 months and 3 weeks apart. They grew up together and are so close. I think it is better when they are close, they can both have the same routine, eat the same foods, quit using diapers at the same time(the 2nd one is always a little maturer, I think), etc. You don’t have to raise one kid and then start completely over on the other baby. They’ll fight alot but will be best friends. Pre-school/daycare is costly, but most places give sibling discounts.

Jessica says:

There isn’t any set rule on how long to wait. However, for your (and the baby’s) physical health, it really is best to wait until your munchkin is 2 before you concieve again. There are plenty of women who don’t wait that long, but that is ideal- physically speaking. Make sure your body is fully recharged from the first before going on to #2.

When my brother and I would argue and fight, my dad would say to my mom, “Hey, Ruth, let’s go make some more…”

It was funny, because my mother had already had a hysterectomy…and it’s hard to argue when I’m giggling.

Wow, I would have never thought of having another child when destiny was 10months, I mean how can you have baby fever when you already have one in your arms?? Destiny is now 3(4in june) and Im still not sure Im ready to have another one. I grew up in a family where most of the kids where 2-3 years apart, to insure they didnt always have to share every thing, they learned how to be independent and do things like go to school on their own without a sibling holding their hand… Yet we were always close enough in age that we liked the same things and still played together and even as we got older we hung out in high school,and all had our kids around the same time…. I dunno but if I were you I would at least wait til Lil J is out of diapers, you dont want to be 2 diapers at a time, and you certianly dont want to be potty training when you belly is huge and you cant bend over…. and also if you waited Lil J could be your little helper, Little girls always love to be little helpers when they are old enough to be into babys… I have a feeling Im probably sounding like what you husband is gonna say, so Im gonna leave it at this, Just think about all the stages that lil J hast even gone through yet, like walking,talking,potty training..etc. would you want to do all that will prego or with a newborn and what if (god forbid) you had to be on bed rest how would you handle lil J. Sorry if Ive been a downer, babys are great no matter when you have them! Good Luck

Last time I started planning for #1. Was still a year out from pregnancy. Calm down. If I stay on a track similar to last time Lil’ J will be nearly 3 before she has a little sibling!! Y’all know how I plan ahead. This isn’t happening next week. Besides it would take a miracle for me to get pregnant right now. Between breastfeeding and near-abstinence it’s not happening!

Keya says:

I was having baby fever when #1 was about 10 months. My boys are 25 months apart. Which is great for me. I didn’t have to buy any new baby clothes, and they are both summer babies. So they wear the same clothes each season.
I’m thinking about #3 for next year. I just lost all my pregnancy weight so I’m trying to enjoy my body for a couple of months especially for the summer time. Last summer I was 9 months pregnant and was HUGE.
Good Luck.

Danielle says:

Our two oldest are 17 months apart… I got pregnant with my middle son when my oldest son was 9 months old, and they are two peas in a pod, and build in best friends. Thinking about it… there is nothing I would change about the spacing between the two of them, but the slight insanity and on the go all the time may not be for everyone.
Between our second and third child there is almost two full years, and it a little bit more difficult because he KNOWS she is there, and understands a little bit more than our oldest son did when our second was born. I wouldn’t change the spacing of any of them though.

I also am the product of a mom who waited 15 years between her 2nd and 3rd, and know how hard it was for her on occasion to keep up.

Whatever works for you and your husband really… But I think the closer (within reason of course) the better!

Gena says:

Jenn, I had 3 little ones at home. Sydnee was 8 months old when I decided that I wanted to try again. I had insisted that I was done up until that point. But then it hit me. So we started trying. It’s hard to imagine wanting to have another one when your baby is so little until you feel that. I used to tease people for feeling the same way. But now I will never do that again! You are a planner and there is nothing wrong with planning for baby #2 now or even going for it. It’s YOUR choice! Good luck with it!

I don’t see anything wrong with planning now. Even if you were to get pregnant today your babies would be a year and a half apart, which I do not think is too close in age. But this is coming from a lady who gave birth to a set of boy/girl twins in January 2010 and SURPRISE gave birth again in December 2010. I have Irish triplets, eleven months apart. But honestly it is not bad at all. I am in total baby mode right, loving every minuet. You have to do what is right for you not what right for anyone else.

Jenna says:

Hey, maybe we can be pregnant together! Our tentative plan is to start trying next spring.

Melek says:

Like everything, this is a really personal decision. I can see the benefits of both. My two are about 2 and a half years apart and I would like to conceive again when my youngest is about 17-18 months. I don’t buy the whole “anti 2 in diapers” thing. That doesn’t bother me at all, and personally, I kind of found my life to be easier when they both were still in diapers.

You never can tell if they will be close, play together nicely, will there be extreme jealousy, if one will want to “help” with the baby etc etc. What works for one family may not work for another. So I definitely say listen to yourself and make your own choices as to what’s best for your family.

Best of luck

jenn,
I think its great you are planning ahead. I want our kids to be about 3 years spaced apart, and I’m already planning out bedding, clothes, etc as well (not telling the hubs of course!). planning ahead is the way to go!!! i think its a totally personal thing between you and your hubs as far as spacing goes… plus we have the same issue with needing a house to fit a 4th (5th including the pooch, right?). cant wait to hear how the next year or so turns out!

Ronnica says:

I don’t have kids yet, but my experience with childcare and my friend’s children is that kids that are 2 to 2 1/2 years apart tend to be closer. Of course, there are lots of exceptions…no timing is right for everyone.

melifaif says:

Wow, numero 2, eh?!? Impressive. Mine is 3.5 going on 35 and I am STILL not ready. But good luck to ya and your baby makin’ self….hahahaha!!!

swank|mama says:

You finally posted it!! My feelings are identical to yours and I just found out that my brother reads my blog – so much for the big “secret”! He’s vowed not to tell anyone.

I can’t wait to keep reading you posts about your journey!!

Alicia says:

I waited waaaaay too long. My oldest daughter is 8 and a half years old and i just had baby number 2, another GIRL) 8 weeks ago. I waited so long because my oldest is Autistic so it was really for the best because its been difficult but now we are wondering if we should have baby number 3 to give baby number 2 a playmate LOL!

Georges says:

Just remember that there is a much bigger picture here than your own =)It’s all well and good to be a planner, but sometimes things just don’t go as you plan. That’s how come we live in a world with way too many teen pregnancies and single mothers having 8 babies and then on the other hand women who are married and have somewhat of a stable life, dreaming of having children….only to realize they are infertile. I say be thankful for what you have and take life as it comes because when you do finally feel like it’s the right time to have another, your time may just have passed. Good Luck =)

I think the word “planning” seems to confuse people. Maybe the phrase I’m looking for is “goal setting.”

Mrs. K says:

LOL at your above comment. I’m afraid to even mention any word that starts with a “b” on my blog because I’m afraid everyone will assume that we are planning to have one STAT. LOL. I’m glad you think everything out–it makes me not feel so bad about how obsessed I am about planning and getting things done my way. I’ve got to pray about that though because I know God knows what and when is best for us. 🙂

Oh, this “should we, shouldn’t we” is such a vulnerable and exciting time, isn’t it? My husband was ready before I was… but that’s only because I was nervous of taking care of a baby and a toddler. And then once I decided I was ready… BOOM I was pregnant. Didn’t have much time to get used to the idea before we had actually conceived. (That was a blessing though – don’t get me wrong!) But now that I’m 19 weeks along, I’m growing with confidence all the time. I know when baby #2 arrives it will be a huge learning curve, but hey, the grace for it will be there when I need it, right?!! That’s what I’m banking on! Good luck with your decision and planning and trying! 🙂 And also, if you’re interested I have 2 pregnancy/baby-related giveaways on my blog this week. I don’t normally do many giveaways, but these two are just so great (a book and nursing covers) that I could resist. Plus, it’s my blogaversary so thought I’d do something special. 🙂 Hope you don’t think I’m spamming here! I don’t normally post stuff like this in peoples’ comments either… but thought you might want to know since you’re thinking and planning…. 🙂 Now, take care of yourself and get your folic acid! x
Adriel http://www.themommyhoodmemos.com

Wendy* says:

You’re such a girly-girl and you’ve passed that on to Miss J for sure! That’s why I’d think it would be SO FUN for you to have a little boy the next time around. Your blog posts would be hit with such a new dynamic bc you’ll be experiencing a whole new world of discovery.

Wendy* says:

You’re such a girly-girl and you’ve passed that on to Miss J for sure! That’s why I’d think it would be SO FUN for you to have a little boy the next time around. Your blog posts would be hit with such a new dynamic bc you’ll be experiencing a whole new world of discovery.

Oh, this “should we, shouldn’t we” is such a vulnerable and exciting time, isn’t it? My husband was ready before I was… but that’s only because I was nervous of taking care of a baby and a toddler. And then once I decided I was ready… BOOM I was pregnant. Didn’t have much time to get used to the idea before we had actually conceived. (That was a blessing though – don’t get me wrong!) But now that I’m 19 weeks along, I’m growing with confidence all the time. I know when baby #2 arrives it will be a huge learning curve, but hey, the grace for it will be there when I need it, right?!! That’s what I’m banking on! Good luck with your decision and planning and trying! 🙂 And also, if you’re interested I have 2 pregnancy/baby-related giveaways on my blog this week. I don’t normally do many giveaways, but these two are just so great (a book and nursing covers) that I could resist. Plus, it’s my blogaversary so thought I’d do something special. 🙂 Hope you don’t think I’m spamming here! I don’t normally post stuff like this in peoples’ comments either… but thought you might want to know since you’re thinking and planning…. 🙂 Now, take care of yourself and get your folic acid! x
Adriel http://www.themommyhoodmemos.com

swank|mama says:

You finally posted it!! My feelings are identical to yours and I just found out that my brother reads my blog – so much for the big “secret”! He’s vowed not to tell anyone.

I can’t wait to keep reading you posts about your journey!!

jenn,
I think its great you are planning ahead. I want our kids to be about 3 years spaced apart, and I’m already planning out bedding, clothes, etc as well (not telling the hubs of course!). planning ahead is the way to go!!! i think its a totally personal thing between you and your hubs as far as spacing goes… plus we have the same issue with needing a house to fit a 4th (5th including the pooch, right?). cant wait to hear how the next year or so turns out!

Melek says:

Like everything, this is a really personal decision. I can see the benefits of both. My two are about 2 and a half years apart and I would like to conceive again when my youngest is about 17-18 months. I don’t buy the whole “anti 2 in diapers” thing. That doesn’t bother me at all, and personally, I kind of found my life to be easier when they both were still in diapers.

You never can tell if they will be close, play together nicely, will there be extreme jealousy, if one will want to “help” with the baby etc etc. What works for one family may not work for another. So I definitely say listen to yourself and make your own choices as to what’s best for your family.

Best of luck

Jenna says:

Hey, maybe we can be pregnant together! Our tentative plan is to start trying next spring.

I don’t see anything wrong with planning now. Even if you were to get pregnant today your babies would be a year and a half apart, which I do not think is too close in age. But this is coming from a lady who gave birth to a set of boy/girl twins in January 2010 and SURPRISE gave birth again in December 2010. I have Irish triplets, eleven months apart. But honestly it is not bad at all. I am in total baby mode right, loving every minuet. You have to do what is right for you not what right for anyone else.

Wow, I would have never thought of having another child when destiny was 10months, I mean how can you have baby fever when you already have one in your arms?? Destiny is now 3(4in june) and Im still not sure Im ready to have another one. I grew up in a family where most of the kids where 2-3 years apart, to insure they didnt always have to share every thing, they learned how to be independent and do things like go to school on their own without a sibling holding their hand… Yet we were always close enough in age that we liked the same things and still played together and even as we got older we hung out in high school,and all had our kids around the same time…. I dunno but if I were you I would at least wait til Lil J is out of diapers, you dont want to be 2 diapers at a time, and you certianly dont want to be potty training when you belly is huge and you cant bend over…. and also if you waited Lil J could be your little helper, Little girls always love to be little helpers when they are old enough to be into babys… I have a feeling Im probably sounding like what you husband is gonna say, so Im gonna leave it at this, Just think about all the stages that lil J hast even gone through yet, like walking,talking,potty training..etc. would you want to do all that will prego or with a newborn and what if (god forbid) you had to be on bed rest how would you handle lil J. Sorry if Ive been a downer, babys are great no matter when you have them! Good Luck

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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