My daughter’s future career choice changed the way I look at my own
It’s not uncommon for my daughter to be toting an art project she made in class when I pick her up from preschool. She puts her all into every little creation. When decorating cookies she’ll individually place pieces of sprinkles, and she finger paints with precision. She takes her time, and makes her work with pride.
“Mom, look what I made!” she said with a huge grin on her face as she showed me a little book she made in class.
Just as I focused in on what the title of her tale, another mother picking up her daughter read it out loud.
“Aww, she wants to be a mommy, that’s so sweet!”
In my daughter’s hands she held a book titled “What I want to be when I grow up is a Mommy.”
I put on a smile while I tried to sort out the emotions I was feeling. Was that disappointment? Pride? Fear? Confusion?
I glanced at a classmate’s book. Hers said “Doctor” in the place my daughter’s said Mommy.
Where did I go wrong? And where is this emotion coming from?
I noticed another little girl’s book said “Princess” and for a moment I felt a wave of relief. Of course these split-second thoughts that went through my mind were completely ridiculous, rude, judgemental, and everything else wrong.
“You want to be a mommy?” I asked my daughter.
“Yea!” She smiled back at me.
I looked to her teacher for reassurance.
“We asked her last week and that’s what she said,” her teacher said.
I thought about this as we got in the car and drove home. I was curious what made my daughter come to the conclusion that she wanted to be a mommy. When we’ve talked about it in the past she’s spout different things: A police officer, an artist, a newscaster, a teacher.
“So tell me,” I started to ask. “How come you said you wanted to be a mommy when you grow up?”
“Because!” She said as if that answer was enough, but continued after a moment. “Because you’re a mommy and I want to be like you!”
Like a stab to my chest I felt bad for my knee-jerk reaction to her job choice. First of all, she’s four. She has some time to decide her future. Secondly, the fact that she looks at me and says I’m who she wants to be like is a pretty big compliment. Yet I pushed on.
“You can be a mommy. You can be a mommy and something else too,” I told her. “Some mommies are astronauts, or chefs–”
“Oh I want to be a mommy and do the news, so I can go to work with you!”
It was becoming apparent that I was looking at this differently than she was.
My mom always worked when I was growing up, I never knew any different. I thought I’d be a mom some day, but I also thought I’d have a career. A “mom” was never on my potential career list. I didn’t even see it as an option. It wasn’t until I had children of my own, and then scaled back on work to spend more time with them, that I realized how much work trying to be a good mom all the time could be, and how important it could feel.
I hoped to be an example to my children. To show them that they can grow up and become whatever they want to become. That they could achieve their dreams just as I felt I had. I didn’t plan to inspire them in a different way–To want to be parents.
Since then almost every time someone asks my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up she says with all seriousness “a mom.” Occasionally she’ll tack on another career or two to the list, but most consistently it’s a mother.
Being a mother has changed everything for me. I don’t know if it’s like that for everyone. I imagine some manage to fit motherhood into their lives, I feel like in many ways I’ve changed my life to revolve around being their mom.
I’ve partnered with Sears to write about Mother’s Day and as I thought about how I’d narrow down what I’d want for the holiday, or my favorite ideas to suggest to other moms I came up with core things I think we all need.
Here are a few things I think every mom could use.
1. Love: Lots of love, encouragement, hugs, help, and maybe a homemade fingerprint card.
2. Rest: Moms work SO FREAKING HARD. Whether you’re working outside the home, at home, or “just” with your kids, it’s a mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting job. As counterintuitive as it sounds, little time away from those we love can be a great gift. I’ll give my daughter a few more years before I let her know what she’s in for.
3. Uplifting: We do so much for everyone else in the family, sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. I know I’ll get my daughter and son dressed up to go out but stay in my yoga pants and ponytail to save time. What uplifts you? Time to meditate? Getting ready for the day? A new haircut? A new outfit?
If you fall in the later category, you may want to check out two great clothing lines from Sears that can transform and uplift any mom to help her look and feel like the amazing mother she is.
Here are some deserving moms who got an uplifting makeover from Sears.
This weekend I hope to get lots of love, some rest, and maybe even a little uplifting or pampering. I hope you get the same!
As a thank you for the sweet mothers and moms to be and even the dads who love them who read my blog, we’re giving away a $50 gift card to Sears. Use it to get yourself something uplifting.
What do you hope for for Mother’s Day? Has your child ever said they wanted to be a mom or dad when they grow up?
Just leave a comment to enter, then follow the instructions on the Gleam contest form for extra entries. Good luck, and Happy Mother’s Day!
*Disclosure: I’m partnering with Sears as a Sears Bloggers Squad Ambassador to share my stories in motherhood, and helpful tips along the way. All opinions are my own.
Tags: family, motherhood, Sears
I love hearing my daughter say she wants to be a mom! 🙂
I’m surprised I didn’t at first, but I do enjoy hearing her say it now. I love that she thinks I’m doing a good job at it.
My son changes his mind periodically, we’ve yet to hear him say parent/Dad…. maybe boys are different in their thinking? Or maybe I now question how well of a job we’re doing….. thanks a lot lol jk I love this post – because it is about perspective really when it comes to our hopes and dreams for our kids vs theirs. Sometimes they will never “align” as we hope they do – they may never want for themselves what we want for them; what we push for them. I try to remember to just want happiness and love and hope he finds it! Hoping to get some pampering here……. so we’ll see 😉
One of my favorite things that I love about your posts is that you are so honest. I think when situations like this come up it is hard to sort through all the emotions that come with being a mom. Thanks for sharing this experience.
I love this!!! Seriously got a tear in my eye reading it. So sweet that she wants to be just like you 🙂
I’m trying to lower my expectations on Mother’s Day. My ideal Mother’s Day, I would wake up to the kids and hubby bringing in gifts and flowers to me. Then hubby would whisk them away to get them ready while I get ready by myself. Then we would all go out to brunch together. After that, hubby would say he would take the kids home and put my son down for a nap and I could do whatever I want!
I’m realizing this is not realistic. My husband asked me on Wednesday what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day. Clearly he had not made brunch plans. When I said I’d like a day off, he reminded me that I’m going on a trip in a couple of weeks. SO really who knows what the day will be like. I’m trying to get myself psyched up to enjoy it no matter what.
Great blog post! I love your honesty. I understand your apprehension for her to be a mama because we all want our kids to go out there and set the world on fire and be something exceptional. We want our kids to be able to stand on there own two feet and make a difference in the world. Society on a whole I don’t think values the role moms and dads play enough. The family structure has fallen apart big time in the last 20 years which I feel has led to many of the problems in our society. Being a mom is exceptional! All mom’s are exceptional! I have been a SAHM now for 2 years (seems unreal its been that long) and I am so thankful I can be home for my family. It’s the hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had.
I would be thankful just to not have to cook or clean on Mother’s day! I am thankful my husband is off this weekend and we are going on a picnic with some friends on Saturday.
My daughter wants to be a teacher, at the moment. My daughter is 7 and a bit ago she was going back and forth talking about wanting to be a Paleontologist, then it was a waitress, a cook, own her own bakery, a swim teacher and one day she said “arg I just can’t make up my mind”. LOL! I was like oh I think you have time!
I’m not a mother yet and who knows what I’ll really want when that day comes. Tech? A nap?
PS. I love the Metaphor Line. I saw some shoes that I’m in love with.
This was perfect! So often we overlook our importance of being a mom. You are phenomenal and I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day! Happy Mother’s Day to all the fantastic moms 🙂
I’m hoping for a really great dinner that I don’t have to cook on mothers day and some shopping for some much over due needed items in my life. I’ve also decided that my gift to myself is going to be taking care of myself. I have 4 children and they as well as my husband always look like something out of a magazine and I well we won’t say what I look like…I’m a nurse so umm usually in scrubs or yoga pants. I just have to do better.
What a sweet story! I hope that my (future) daughter admires me enough to aspire to be like me 🙂
I so wish my daughter could be the mommy she prays daily to be. Right now infertility is messing with her dream. Foster care helps, but it isn’t a forever solution to her desires. :<(
I usually wish for a relaxing day to do something I want to do, but thus far in my mothering life, we have always deferred to the other mothers in our lives. I’m grateful for them, so ultimately I wouldn’t be anywhere else, but I’ll admit it’s tough to see other moms on social media post pictures of their peaceful days of pampering when we’re shuttling off to two other stops out of town. Someday it will be my turn, but with a price, no doubt. As for my kids, they’re both boys and they seem far more inspired into parenthood by my husband. Sigh.
My daughter has – FOR A YEAR – said she wants to be a waitress at Waffle House. Yep. I am pretty sure that is the most embarrassing to her mother future job. 😉
My little guy is a bit too young to speak at the time, but I hope later he wants to be a good father and have his own children.
I was hoping for flowers and my sons (husband) got me a beautiful bouquet. Love these new lines of clothes. Very pretty & stylish.
I’m a single mom of 4 so I was hoping for some handmade cards from my children and I got them. I like the new clothing line. Great prices.
I just want to know from each of my sons that I am valued and appreicated for all I’ve done and they do that with cards, flowers calls gifts etc. How well they live is a testimony to me as to how good a job I’ve done. I don’t have to get anything material Even just a note is fine.
I prefer housewares from Sears than clothing
I just wanted my husband daughter to handle all cooking and cleaning up duties for the day.
I just wanted some extra sleep for mother’s day. I like the new line.
I wish my kids could have been in town for Mother’s Day. The Metaphor line looks stylish and very reasonably priced.
I would like to have my two kids here for Mother’s Day, and everyone getting along! I like the new styles.
I wanted a nice family day and my kids and hubby did an awesome job. I really like the colors and patterns cute styles.
My daughter is in college and very busy, so the most precious thing I wanted for Mother’s Day was time with her – and I got it!
I like the light blue, draping top from this line.
I like the Metaphor and Canyon River Blues line at Sears. I would like dinner for Mother’s Day and not have to cook.
For Mother’s day I love homemade thoughtful gifts. I love the new Metaphor and Canyon River Blues line at Sears. I would definitely shop this line.
For Mother’s Day I just want to know that my daughter is happy and healthy. I have shopped at Sears for clothes, but their selection is not that fabulous, so I don’t shop there often. I haven’t checked out these new lines so I really don’t have an opinion at this point.
I got what I wanted for Mother’s Day which was a delicious home cooked meal with my family.
I think the Metaphor and Canyon River Blues clothing lines at Sears looks nice. It has a variety of styles from professional looking to comfortable and flirty.
I got what I wanted for Mother’s Day. Time spent with my family and my middle son made dinner for me and my husband. It was great.
I forgot to say that I do like the Canyon River Blues clothing line.
I just love the Metaphor and Canyon River Blues line at Sears.i got want i wanted for mothers day and that was to go out to eat with my family at a nice restaurant
I really like these new lines at Sears!! I recvd some very nice gifts and calls for Mothers Day. It was great!
I didn’t want anything for Mother’s Day. I love the new clothing lines. They have some really cute styles!
I feel like I was never encouraged growing up to be anything but a mom. In my family, it’s kind of looked down upon if you don’t stay home with your kids. I work full time now and I’m the only daughter in my family who does. I wish I had the encouragement growing up that I could be anything I wanted to be AND be a mom. I took it upon myself and start law school next year, but it wasn’t because I was taught growing up that I could do anything lol.
I like the clothing and would like to have some. For Mother’s Day and didn’t want anything fancy. Just the usual cards and flowers.
My family took me out for Mothers Day. I think the Metaphor and Canyon River Blues clothing lines at Sears looks great.
My family cooked dinner for me and bought me a new skillet which I really wanted. I like the Canyon River Blues clothing line at Sears. I like the fact that it is simple and classic. I am not as much of a fan of the Metaphor line from Sears but I’m sure it appeals to others.
Mothers day is over, but all I wanted was to spend some time (cell phone free time) with my family and not have to cook dinner.
I love the new clothing line, it looks like it would be super easy to wear.
I like the line. Affordable clothes are always a plus. I got some much needed rest on Mother’s Day!
Moo has already told me that she wants to be a mom. Oh and that she plans on having 10 kids. LOL. She’s picked out their names and everything, too!
I want plants for the garden. The clothes look very good.
Thanks for sharing this post with us. I am little bit interested to get more information about MY DAUGHTER’S FUTURE CAREER CHOICE CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT MY OWN. I like to share my opinion on MY DAUGHTER’S FUTURE CAREER CHOICE CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT MY OWN.Thanks for sharing this post with us. I am little bit interested to get more information about seeds. I like to share my opinion on seed.Make the spacing between your plants wide at the beginning. The closer you plant the seeds the more thinning out you need to do. Some of us do not thin out until it is time to eat the produce and that may end up damaging the roots of those plants that you leave in the ground. By planting farther apart in the beginning gives the
Thanks for sharing this post. I am very interested in this topic. Particulars Logo design agency in Qatar concerning the prices and varied varieties of date stamps manufactured could be searched on quite a few internet portals.