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My Antidote for Baby Fever

You aren’t going to believe this, but I’ve had a mental breakthrough. I’d been going back and forth, agonizing over whether or not I felt deep down I wanted another kid (or two). But when I think about the why–why do I like the idea of more children? Part of it comes back to missing the baby stage. Missing being pregnant, and having a tiny snuggly little newborn to love on. I miss the phase I’ve passed with my little ones. The problem is, they grow up. So is it another child I want? Or just a cuddly baby?

As I ask myself this I’m realizing, each year as I’ve cried over their growth, and my babies turning another year older, I’m missing some of the present.

kids jumping on the bed

I’ve made a shift. I’m slowing down, and I’m noticing the little things I’ll miss next year. Turns out, 5-years-old is pretty amazing.

My daughter rushes home from school with a new library book every week and pushes me onto our bean bags.

“Read it to me!” She pleads. I those moments we sit down together I notice how she takes in all of the pictures and words. She asks me to explain the details that go over her head.

it's fancy to be me custom I see me book

Custom books with her name throughout with fancy, beautiful girls who look like her are thrilling. She sees herself in different characters and her dreams continue to grow skyward. She’s drawn to characters she can relate to, and characters who push her to be great. This age (as well as the age of my rambunctious 2-year-old) is so magical in many ways.

I’m looking at her and noticing her vibrant personality. I’m struck by her wit.–The questions she asks, the conclusions she deducts on her own.– Then when I ask her where she heard/learned that from she looks me straight in the eye and says “my brain!”

The best part of all? The completely selfish bonus from all of this is the fact that I am still her hero. My chasing her around in a game of tag, playing dress-up, jumping on the bed, assisting her with an art craft, or reading a stack of books shows her I love her. And for now, that still means more to her than most things.

boucing-girl

In many ways, babies are easier. Definitely much less complicated. But I have a sinking suspicion in 10 years I’ll be wishing I could trade my teenagers for preschoolers. Just remind me to heed my own advice of enjoying the moment then too.

***
Fancy to Be Me Book
 

As you can probably tell, Lil’ J loves when I read to her. Especially when the book involves powerful, beautiful girls who are dreaming big and look like her. Growing up I rarely saw books with pretty little brown girls who looked like me, and I’m so glad my daughter doesn’t have to grow up that way. It’s Fancy to Be Me is I See Me’s newest book, and showcases not only your little girl’s name throughout the book, but a girl who can be made to look like her when you choose her hair and skin tone. Go on a journey with your daughter’s character as she explores the world and comes to see how beautiful it is to be herself.

You can order one here. Or first, try to win one here! Leave a comment on this post by October 21st at 11:59pm. and you’ll be entered to win It’s Fancy to Be Me, or an I See Me book of your choice (this is my son’s favorite).

I’ll randomly choose a winner from the comments on October 22nd.

**Update: Winner alert: #41 Vikki Billings**

Good luck!

This story and giveaway was sponsored by I See Me. We love their books! As always, all opinions are my own. 


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Andrea says:

I have been fighting baby fever as well. I need to start cherishing the moments I have with my 4 year old as well!

Becky says:

I struggle with this one all the time. I wish they would stay little forever lol!

Amanda Jo says:

I totally thought I was done having babies after I had my son. Then we unexpectedly got pregnant with my daughter, and although I don’t want another for at least 2 years I have a nagging feeling to have at least one more?. I’m way too exhausted to have baby fever, but I just know that we will have at least one more!

Erin says:

I’ve been having the same debate as you and have come to realize the same things! I have two girls the same ages as your two kids, and I miss the cuddly baby stage, but I’m LOVING this 5 year old thing and having a 2 year old again and watching them together!

From Mrs to Mom says:

You’re so right. Every stages has amazing parts with it. I will always miss my pregnancies-it was some of the most amazing time in my life and my children are the icing on the cake.

Jennie says:

I love this! It really is all about appreciating every stage. I think my daughter would LOVE these books. We are an adoptive family and I am always trying to find books with girls who look like her in them. Awesome!

Brittany says:

I have 3 beautiful little ones, 2 girls and 1 boy, 6, 4, and 2. I have baby fever badly, my son has been asking me for a little baby brother but financially we cannot afford to have another one right now. I feel like maybe when my youngest is in school we might be able to but we’ll see what God has planned for us. ^_^

Sherrie says:

You are so right being present is so important. They do grow so fast. But I totally understand missing the baby phase as well. Babies are snuggly and smell so good. I think my cure will be a puppy ..lol

Lindsey says:

I think that’s great advice to be present and enjoy the stage you are in. My sweet baby just keeps growing and I know I will soon miss the cuddle stage, but she is also more fun now because she plays and I am enjoying her personality. Love the books!

Alicia says:

I suffered from the same and ultimately we went with number three. So now I have a 5, almost 3, and 4 month old. While I love him and will never regret him, its hard. Some days I wonder what I was thinking when we made that choice!

Brittany says:

I’m struggling with baby fever like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t actually want more children, I found out I was pregnant a year ago today. I miscarried at 10 weeks and since then I haven’t wanted to add any more to our family. But there’s a little bit of “What if” in my life right now. I would have a 4 month old right now and the fact that I don’t makes me sad and sentimental. BUT I love the ages my kids are now: 4 and 2 is a beautiful age. 🙂

Martha says:

I can TOTALLY relate! In our 40s and living in NYC, we knew we would only have 2 children but now that it’s done (shop is closed and burnt down) I get jealous of pregnant women and yearn for tiny babies.
I have often thought that if/when I truly miss babies I can volunteer for cuddling premies! Like this one: http://www.millerchildrenshospitallb.org/centers-programs/nicu-cuddler-program
BUT
I am also truly enjoying every moment of my girls growth and development! I have a 2.5 year old and a 11 mos old; our hands are full but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
I was excited to see that you included the title of the book and the giveaway! As soon as I saw the photo I thought to myself, I HAVE to get that book! These are just the books that my Thalia and Mikayla LOVE to read!! 🙂

Brandy says:

I have been debating about having another baby. I also have 2 kids and question having another little one. I really enjoyed reading your post, and made me look at it in a different perspective!! I also think the personalized book is awesome and would love to win one and try it for myself!!

Aimee says:

I have come to the conclusion that as much as I want to be pregnant and experience the newborn stage one more time I really don’t want another child. I am perfectly content with my 2 kiddos. I have a son and a daughter and I love the stages they are in. I miss the days of having a sweet cuddly baby but I am loving watching my 13 year old turn into a little man and seeing my sweet 5 year old daughter experience school and so many other first has been so much fun.

Sue says:

I discovered your website while looking up how to make a cardigan onesie. That was one year ago and I still visit your site to read about your new adventures. Our kids are close in age and I can relate to your experiences. I have two wild monkeys and that’s enough for me :).

Courtney says:

As I’ve been saying in other comments I’ve made, we’re on the same page with waffling over baby #3! When I saw your post title I was excited you had decided for us what to do, ha ha! You’re feelings about wanting another are exactly how I feel; wanting to experience pregnancy and having a precious baby again. But the do grow up! Ahh, decisions decisions!

On another note, that book that you read to your daughter would be perfect for my 4yr old, Annabelle! She would get a kick out of seeing her name in a book!

Yes enjoy the now! Five year olds and two year olds are so great too! These books look so cute.

AmyRyb says:

I long to snuggle a baby and it makes me a little sad to see my two-year-old growing up, but I’m excited to see what kind of kid he becomes. My seven-year-old is a bit of an atypical kid and I see a lot of frustration in our future (even though he is brilliant and full of ideas), but my younger one gives me hope that I will love the big kid stage even more. Look on the bright side, maybe there will be grandbabies in our futures within another 20 years 🙂

Grace says:

It’s so hard to remember to stop, breathe, and enjoy your current season of life. Thanks for the reminder. We all could use one once is a while.

Iiona V says:

Being present in the moment is what I am working on currently as well. I’m having a sort of baby fever as well, but I don’t want to birth a baby. I just want to adopt a baby, but my husband isn’t on board with that idea…

Heidi says:

This was the perfect read right now! I have a five year old, three year old, and seven month old twins and I still find myself thinking about more children (or not) on an almost daily basis. I think I’ll just try to enjoy the moment more rather than ponder on the what if so much :). (Oh and this book looks adorable and I think I’ll add it to my big girls Christmas list!)

Margie Martinez says:

Five is such an amazing age! I feel like every age is amazing with my little ones! My daughter loves reading and I know she’d love a book where she’s a character! Thanks for mentioning!

AprilD says:

I find out the gender that day (10/21) so as of right now I don’t know who is in there. I wanted to drop a comment to say thanks for posting this and sharing that you can customize the features! Does this also work for a boy? Or do they only have girls right now? Thanks for sharing!

Kellie S says:

Sometimes I find myself on auto pilot… I’m realizing I too need to be present in the now because watching my 4 and 1 yr old time is really flying.

Lisa says:

I would love to have one of these books for my daughter!

Melissa says:

What a wonderful and honest post! My little ones are 6 and 4 and boy how I try to be in the moment, all while working full-time and wearing many other hats, as we all do! Your post reminds me to put down my phone constantly taking pictures trying to capture the fun and cuteness and to live in the moment!!!! And who doesn’t love I See Me?! =)

Kisha Shelton says:

Oh how I needed this! I am not quite to the yearning for another baby just yet since my little one is 9 months, but I know that he is our last and I will eventually feel that way. I must keep this in mind and cherish every stage!

Natalie Childs says:

I’m glad to hear that you loved the baby stage! I’m expecting in a few months, and I get tired sometimes of only hearing horror stories and warnings that I’m going to be miserable…

Karin says:

I love this! I’m trying to decide is I should go for number 3 too, but you’re right. I shouldn’t let my indecision about having more kids distract me from enjoying the now.

Oph says:

I adore the baby stage. Which is why I am currently pregnant with number three. I do try to focus on the present though. There is so much goodness in each year that I don’t want to miss!

Patsy says:

One cure for the baby stage is babysitting friends’ tiny ones. I’m pregnant with my second and live far away from family. I’m so excited to have two, but ppl are shocked when I say, this is my last one. I love my little ones, but don’t think I’m cut out to have 3.

Nicole says:

I love this! I actually have purchased a couple of I See Me books for baby gifts.

McKim says:

I have purchased I See Me books for each of my grandsons. They are something they both treasure.

Shannon Baas says:

What a great book.

susan smoaks says:

we would enjoy this book

Lisa V. says:

My grandchild is of the age that she can be read too. Would love to have this so grandma can read it to her.

Ellie Wright says:

I would love to win this for my little granddaughter.

Erica B. says:

Love this!

Tarah says:

Sometimes I have an urge to revisit the baby stage, but that’s just it. A visit. I don’t want to take up residency again. I’d love to go back and snuggle my boys as little babies again, but I just take every opportunity to snuggle other babies. haha.

I love these books, they’re so beautiful & I love that they’re customized. I can see this being re-read every night for bedtime.

Brittney House says:

This would be for my niece. I know she would love seeing her name in a book since her name is so unique.

Vikki Billings says:

My oldest granddaughter love the personalized book I got her two years ago for Christmas, so much that she took it everywhere and showed everyone. I would love to win for her.

rajee says:

I love to cuddle my baby and have more fun with him

SAND says:

I would love this for my nephew. He has a unique name that isn’t very common. It’s an Irish name.

ajira says:

I can totally relate. I just had my second a few weeks ago and already I’m sad that the baby days are flying by and my little one is practically a toddler! lol. Being present is very good advice indeed. And awesome giveaway!

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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