I think the one thing I have down pat right now is my pregnancy mood swings. I can be so happy and so upset at the same time. Laughing and feeling at the top of the world one minute and sobbing the next. I have always had pretty bad mood swings but now they are magnified Xs 1000!

Every little things someone says or does seems like a big deal. I have to catch myself, and tell myself to calm down before I overreact.

Being pregnant is the happiest, most exciting thing in my life right now!

I think part of the problem is that it still doesn’t feel real. I want to tell someone. I know I’ve already told too many people. My best friends, a couple of Twitter friends, a random lady at work I swore to secrecy after she caught me sobbing in the back room (of course about something random and non-regnancy related).

I want to hear or see the heartbeat, I want to know there’s a baby in there, know everything is ok, and I want to tell my family.

I’m not sure what their reaction will be. I’m sure they’ll be happy, but I wonder what some people in my family will say or think. I honestly don’t really care, but what I think I want and need more than anything right now is support. Especially from my mom. I’m not sure, but I feel like a mother-daughter bond through something like this has gotta be a big deal right?

I hope she’s excited for me. I hope she makes it a big deal.

It’s weird holding my secret inside while other friend’s announce their pregnancies. I’m so happy for them… Almost happier than I am for myself.

I’m still scared. nervous. shocked. But I don’t want to experience something bad and have not have celebrated the good news first. That would be worse to me, than telling and then later sharing disappointment.

I’m hoping I don’t have to wait much longer! I want to celebrate! I want to be happy! I want to be reassured! Here’s to hoping I can do that soon!