Mi familia-Watch out Duggars, I want a BIG one

I am the oldest of five children. I have three beautiful sisters. Heather, who just turned 21, Lauren, who is 13 and Kimberly who is 5. My handsom little brother is Michael, and he’s 16.

We didn’t all grow up together. In fact, my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister at my wedding (go ahead, bring on the Mormon jokes) so we didn’t ever all live under the same roof at the same time.

For most of my childhood it was my younger sister Heather and I. We had some good times but it got oh so much more interesting when Lauren was born, and when my brother joined the family through adoption.

During my maternity leave we were all together for the first time in years. We snapped these pictures and I get a big smile every time I look at them. Having us all together made me realize something…

I want a big family.

I know family size is one of those topics people have on–Oh, say the third date (in Mormon time) and I know we did way back when but that feels like it was more than half a century ago (really it was just nearly 7 years ago)! Things can change can’t they? Are opinions on family size changes allowed?

I didn’t used to want a big family. I wanted two or three kids. But now I want 10.

Or 6.

But really I’d be happy with 3.

My husband is set on two, which is devastating because I don’t think two is enough. What if our next child is another girl? I want to know what it’s like to have a son! And what if it’s a boy? I want at least one of our kids to have a sibling of the same gender to play with.

I’ve started to tell my husband I want five kids, hoping we can compromise at three or four. We’ll see how that goes.

Expense I think is probably biggest thing that would be standing in our way. But kids don’t HAVE to be expensive right?

I always said I’d take it one kid at a time, and right now, I’m already wanting another. I thought 18 months apart would be a good age gap but that would mean I’d need to get knocked up in a couple months and I can tell you for a fact that’s NOT happenin.

I’d love for my kids to be close in age so they can grow up together, play together, and see each other at school. I know it’s crazy, and we’re not ready, but it’s in the back of my mind.

Maybe next time I’ll randomly get pregnant with quadruplets and we’ll be set.

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  1. I want a big family, too… but luckily, my husband agrees. Our son Elliot is only three weeks old and he’s already been asking me when we want another one. At first I thought he was joking, but he’s not. He really wants to have another baby. And soon. I’m just not sure how I’d feel if I were pregnant again in a few months. I’d like to have my body back for awhile, thanks! πŸ™‚
    Three really isn’t much more than 2. Hopefully he’ll agree to that! In my opinion, having two kids is just two cookie-cutter for me. It seems like a lot of americans have perfect little families with two kids. It’s definitely more fun {and chaos} to have more.

  2. I always said I was going to have 6 kids. Now that I have 6, I can’t see myself being “done”. I would love more! I guess we’ll see if that ever happens.

  3. I would also love to have a large family but living in Italy is way expensive and there’s just not enough room. My husband and I joke that our kids will sleep military style.. multiple bunk bed in 1 room. Most people here have one kid only. A few have 2. We tell people we want 3 and they just freak out! Unfortunately, money does play a huge roll in that but somehow.. people make it work. There is one family in my ward that has 5 kids.. I need to work where he does!

  4. 5 kids is a good size–it’s what I grew up with too. 4 girls and a boy. 6 and over seems just too big to me, 4 seems kind of small-ish. I guess it’s easy to like what you grew up with!

  5. I feel the EXACT same way you do about this. My daughter is almost 6 months old, I already have a son (so I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who got both genders right out of the gate) but I’ve ALREADY thought about another. My husband *thinks* he only wants two, too. I say *thinks* because he says he does, but I say, “No you don’t.” πŸ™‚ The financial side of it is his problem too. We’re different in that, I only have one sister, he has two…and two brothers. He didn’t like having that many, but I only want 3! It makes me sad to think that my baby making days may be done soon πŸ™

  6. Found your blog through another – and I love it! We both have young daughters, so that’s already something we have in common. And we’re both young professionals ALONG with being mamas. Fun! Anyway, looking forward to future posts. πŸ™‚

  7. I think this has to be one of the hardest decisions, for me, as a parent. I’m a mom of three, ranging from ages of 17 years to 21 months, and we’re working on #4 at the moment.

    This time around the decision had to do with wanting a child close in age to our baby. But I really think it has to also do with the dependance of my baby at this time. My daughter is pretty advanced and I feel she would do well if we had another one now. I personally want my babies to outgrow babyhood (playing independently, feeding herself, etc.) before I bring another baby into our world.

    And, just do what my DH did, he just kept talking about the next baby til one day I decided, yeah, we’d do it again. πŸ™‚

  8. I know how you feel about a big family. Truthfully, when my husband and I got together I really didn’t know how big or small of a family I wanted, but we got married and almost immediately got pregnant, and it was HORRIBLE, and I told my husband I was only willing to have 1 kid, and I was not going to compromise. Now, I have 2 (5 yrs later) and my youngest is 1 and I’m really itching to have another, I know we don’t have room and this next year is going to be absolutely crazy, but that doesn’t make me not want to have my next one. My two are 4 yrs apart and they are great friends, which is FANTASTIC! But I’m still wanting more.

  9. LOL, he won’t say a thing about the quadruplets.

    I am one of those who wouldn’t mind just one kid, maximum two children. I think about the second sibling dilemma and I don’t want the middle to be left out ;). My husband would like two, maximum three.

    Well three is a good number too, because that will make our family 5. But for now we will focus on trying to conceive ONE eheeh!

  10. I always wanted 3 kids & well you can see how that turned out! LOL Being a Mommy to 5 I have to say have Hubby come hang out with us he’ll see it’s fun πŸ˜‰

    I think that plans are meant to be changed!

  11. 10 kids? Yea, I’d settle for 3 too. LOL. I’m the second oldest of five kids and I always wonder how my mom did it. I mean that’s a lot of kids once you think about it. Shoot, I’m wondering how I’m going to handle Moo and JJ when he gets here.

    Although, I have to admit that I wouldn’t mind having another girl because Moo is such a tom boy like I was. However, I’m certainly drawing the line at 3 if we decide we want another one. College tuition is going to be through the roof by the time they graduate high school.

  12. Before I had my daughter I wanted lots of children! Now…I would be okay with just her and maybe another. I actually would have liked to have had twins so I could have gotten it all out of the way.

    Now my husband is another story…he wants 10 or more. Ha!

  13. I have only ever wanted two and so does my husband. I am one of two and he is one of three though one of those is his twin so it’s a little different for him.
    Anyway, I initially wanted my kids to be about 2 years apart like my sister and me but when that rolled around I wasn’t ready. And then 3 rolled around and I still wasn’t ready. But now that my little man is 4 I think it is finally time. They will be 5 years apart which is a little far, but I think it will be fine. For me, it is just a matter of being ready to deal with another little one. Oh and I wanted my son to be potty trained first.

  14. I always wanted a LOT of kids. As I’ve gotten older, the number has whittled down. Now that I’m pregnant with my second, my intense desire for a third has simmered a bit, since this pregnancy has been rougher on me than the last.

    If we wait a decent amount of time between pregnancies, my husband will be nearly 40 if/when we have a 3rd.

    Finally, I have a wonderful stepdaughter who will be turning 16 in March and having known her for nearly 10 years, I love her like my own, so perhaps in a roundabout way God gave me my three – just not in the way I expected.

  15. I loved this post πŸ™‚ I always have baby fever and wonder how many kids I will end up with.

    When my dad and mom got married he swore up and down that they were only going to have 2 and my mom wanted 6…. Well as Dad started getting older HE would get the baby fever and happily I am the oldest of 6!

  16. I can understand planning those kids 18 months apart. I have different and could seem like selfish reasons. I have been mothers try and handle children that are like 3-5 years apart and it seems so difficult. I am praying for my husband’s dads twin genes to show up or we will have these babies very close together so they can grow, learn, and develop at a closer age. Which seems to me is easier on the mother. Current moms am I jaded and wrong??

  17. I grew up in a big family, but not a lot in my immediate family. I only wanted two kids, but then hubs convinced me that three was the way to go…so now I’m on board with three. Everyone thinks that’s a ton…but I can’t wait.

  18. My husband is already asking how long we have to wait before we can start trying again. I’m like, can I get the first one out before we start with that nonsense!?

    I know I want more than one but I don’t know how I feel about giving up my body for that long. Then again, I might want to just crank them out and get it over with.

    Of course, once the first one gets here all bets may be off! πŸ™‚

  19. I think our three year age gap is just about right. Each one got to be a baby and a toddler all on their own. I would say wait until after number two and then start pushing for number three. You never know, he may change his mind.

  20. My husband and I always agreed that we wanted 4 kids, so long as we could afford to have that many. We also agreed that we didn’t want our to even try for our first until we had been married for at least 2 years. I have now put a timeline on things, so however many kids we have by the time I’m 34 is all we’re going to have. Right now we have 1 with 1 on the way and there will be a much larger gap than I wanted between them, 35 months. I remember when I was pregnant with our first I wanted them to be about 18 months apart but shortly after I had her I realized that wasn’t what I wanted afterall. From there it moved to 2 years and then 2Β½. I actually really really wanted 2Β½ years but I ended up with 3. And while I’m okay with that this time, I don’t really want another 3 years between this kid and the next.

  21. When I first met my husband him and I agreed on NO kids. But only a year into our marriage we started thinking about children and eventually decided on 1, then on my quest to have a baby I hit the baby lust hard and wanted 10 lovely children, I even prayed that Hayden was twin!
    But I will tell you why you will change your mind about having so many, not because of money but because it gets 10X harder! I totally wanted my children close in age because my brother and I were 11 months apart and we have such a tight relationship. I know now I was crazy. When your daughter gets mobile you’ll start pulling your hair out, she is going to get into everything and you will be constantly running about. Then the toddler years kid in: A toddlr is something you can’t imagine until you have one. Independent but not yet capable of doing everything, a bundle of energy charged by curiousity, and cute enough to almost get alway with everything. Then there is the whining, hitting, throwing, fits, and tests of will combined with willing kisses, hugs, and conversation. And it’s my favorite stage! Toddlers are great! I love my toddler to death but I could not imagine having a baby to care for while I chase after him. It would not be happening without lots of noise and tears.
    During the toddler years there are days, my husband comes home and I’m screaming Hayden will be an only child. Then I see all the pregnant people around, I eye little girls, and I totally want another. I want to experience a girl, another boy will be fine too. So now it’s two kids…but when wow oh wow I can’t imagine.

  22. I grew up with one sister and that’s it (our parents died when we were young). Both she and I wanted big families. I now have 10 kids and she has 11 and we live across the road from each other. We get together for family things and it’s crazy, but wonderful. I LOVE having a big family. And you know what? The Lord has always, always provided a way for us to take care of them. Having a big family is awesome!

  23. I always said 4. I have 3 now though and I think this may be it for us. Financial constraints play a large part, practically speaking, our house and car wouldn’t really cope with another child. My heart is undecided.

  24. hahaha!i totally know how you feel. i am thinking of the next one too and mine’s just three months! i definitely want 3, but am terrified of the actual process of it all! having dax was easier AND harder than i’ve ever imagined!

  25. I just have mine in sets. yep, I went from 2 kids to five in one year. It is a big change, but it really is fun having 5 kids. Secretly I would like to have one more, but I really don’t want to have to get a bigger car.

  26. Beautiful family! I LOVE those pictures! You can just tell you guys are having a great time together.

    As for baby making, I’m taking it one baby at a time. I’ll reassess after my first is here. I can’t imagine only having one, and I also can’t imagine having more than four. So probably between 2-4, but nothing is written in stone. πŸ™‚ I love seeing what everyone else wants!

  27. All, what a beautiful family! Thank you for sharing them with us!

    I want 4+, hubby says he’s done now at 3. So who knows how many we’ll end up with. The transition between 1-2 kids was easy for me. 2-3 was HARD! Maybe that’s just because they were all under 4 when Noah was born & Maddy & Noah are only 17 months apart. I liked the age gap between my girls though (28 months). Good luck on whatever you guys decide!!

  28. You have a lovely family. You guys are all beautiful. So, I’m thinking you should have married my husband. LOL. Just kidding. He wants six but says that we should just keep having kids until I run out of eggs. LMBO. He’s a comedian. I want/compromised on 4. I’ll remind you that we are both approaching 30 and have no kids and aren’t trying right now either. LOL. We’ll let you know how that goes. πŸ™‚

  29. Your youngest sister looks just like you in that first picture.

    You’ve got a great looking set of siblings there girlie!

    My lips are sealed on the mormon jokes but uh oh, your DH is gunna have his hands full at your negotiation!! haha

    I hope you have the perfect sized family that makes you and hubby happy.

    I want to give birth to two children. If they’re the same gender, I’ll try for a 3rd, and if it’s still the same gender I QUIT. Either way, we are adopting a black male child at some point.

  30. The simple truth is that kids are a leap of faith and what works for one couple doesn’t work for another. If your husband is willing to consider more children I would suggest that the two of you discuss it openly (fears, pros, cons, solutions) and then pray about it together and keep your hearts and minds open to an answer to your prayer. Of course, that’s the Mormon way and my parents ended up with 7 :o)

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