They look like twins but they’re nothing alike

Sibling personalities. A mom discusses how she handles differing sibling personalities without comparing the them.I used to worry if I had another girl that I’d be temped to compare her with her older sister. I’m the oldest of five and I have three younger sisters. All of them at some point or another have been compared to me. Sometimes in a good way and other times in a not so good way.

Sibling personalities. A mom discusses how she handles differing sibling personalities without comparing the them.To some degree I think it’s natural to notice differences from one child to another: My son has curlier hair, and longer eyelashes. My daughter loves to take pictures and my son likes to steal my camera.

But when do the comparisons go too far? My son doesn’t say as much as my daughter did at his age. But he’s also way more adventurous than she was. Two little people raised by the same parents sometimes seem to have completely different personalities.

Sibling personalities. A mom discusses how she handles differing sibling personalities without comparing the them.My son is a little guy of few words. He likes to look and study objects, you can tell he has an inquisitive mind, and is just trying to figure things out. My daughter has always been a social butterfly. She doesn’t care who is holding her, as long as someone is. She’s extremely affectionate, loving and cuddly. She loves to sit and color or do art. My son loves to chuck things at people while yelling “HIYA!”

He is a mess and she hates getting her hands dirty.

Sibling personalities. A mom discusses how she handles differing sibling personalities without comparing the them.It’s cute and ok right now to notice how they both started walking at 13-months, or that my son loves to throw things like nobody’s business, and despite the fact that they share the same toys he gravitates to the cars and she the dolls. But when they’re older, I’ll have to learn to keep their differences to myself. Or notice them for what they are, but not compare them to one another.

Recently Lil’ J asked me if I could keep both her and her brother or if I had to give one of them away. I had no idea where she got this idea. I told her I love them both and I’m never giving either of them away.

Sibling personalities. A mom discusses how she handles differing sibling personalities without comparing the them.If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you may think otherwise. I jokingly declare a favorite kid of the day, or cutest kid of the week based on how they’re acting or who is driving me the most crazy. But the truth is I can’t really choose a favorite. Both are so different yet they each warm my heart in different ways. It’s amazing how I can love each one so much and it makes me wonder what it would feel like to have five more just like them to love. And what would five more personalities running around here be like? I’m afraid to know.

Are your children similar to each other or do their personalities differ quite a bit?

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Maria says:

My kids are insanely different, it’s crazy! I have a girl, then two boys, and each one is totally different. Those curls on your little guy, oh my. Adorable!!

Haha, thanks Maria. So funny that your three are all so different. Amazing how so many personalities can be so different when they’re all in the same family.

AmyRyb says:

My two boys are nearly 5 years apart and they are so different! They walked around the same time, were both good sleepers, and said the same couple first words, but apart from that, they are opposites! They look different, their interests are (mostly) different, and their personalities are totally different. I like that they’re so different, because like you, I didn’t want to compare too much. With them looking so different right off the bat, the temptation is a little less. The older one is completely unexcited about his brother, even 18 months in, but we’re working on that. The younger one is obsessed with his big brother, of course, so we spend a lot of time refereeing, for sure. Wouldn’t trade either of them for the world (but I might ask for a little more ability to listen in the older one!)…

Isn’t it so funny how they can be so different? I hope your oldest son warms up to your youngest. And yes, more ability to listen would be a nice trait for my kids too. haha.

Candace says:

I’ve always questioned whether or not mothers who have more than 1 child could NOT have a favorite, this actually makes sense to me now. But I always ask, if had to be locked in a room with one of your children which one would it be?

Haha, that’s a good question Candace. It definitely depends on the day and “Season of life” right now I’d definitely say my daughter cause she’s less exhausting and I could sleep 🙂

Adina says:

Your kids are adorable!!! — and I like the idea of not comparing, it sounds really healthy. I need to remember that when baby number 2 comes along.

Thank you Adina! It feels healthy, hopefully I can keep it up!

Kathy says:

Your kids are adorable! I have three, two boys, 16 and 13 and a daughter almost 6. The boys had some similar features early on but now look so different that people who don’t know them don’t realize they are brothers. I actually appreciate their differences in personality because you can share different interests with each of them that make your relationship unique. Also the boy and girl thing has been very interesting to watch. When I would ask my boys how their kindergarten day was or what they did that day it would be a 5 word response or less. My daughter gives far more details and is very social and involved in the personal details of who said or did what. I think you will continue to enjoy their similarities and differences and it is ok to share those with them as it makes them their own special and unique person but also connects them to their sibling and parents.

Salma says:

They are both adorable!!!!!!!!!!! Love seeing them. You are right on about not choosing a favorite…each is an individual.

My teens are a year and a half apart. They look similar, but there are some jealousy issues because there are some issues that make one of them get more attention (?) than the other. I don’t even know how to deal with that stuff.

I think as they’ve grown I’ve noticed it more and more, and while I don’t have a fave among them – sometimes I can see why people tend to favour one over the other…I DON’T agree with it, but I see it.

JustnXander's mom says:

My sons are 18 years apart and even during pregnancy they were like night and day! The oldest has always been way too serious and very gentle. The baby was kicking/butterfly fluttering at 9 weeks preggers and hasn’t slowed down yet. #1 was bald & #2 had a head full at birth. 1 was timid and shy, 2 hasn’t met a stranger yet! 1 walked at 10 months and 2 at 14 months. I love them both even with all their differences!

Oh hey, this describes my boy and girl too! “He is a mess and she hates getting her hands dirty.” 😉

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Kathy C. says:

Your kids are seriously adorable!! Ah! lil man is so big now!

You are so sweet. Thanks! 🙂 He is getting so big!!

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget


I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.

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