Learning to Let Go of Obsessive Planning


As I drove my daughter home from school yesterday she pointed to her frilly Mini Mouse dress and told me how much she loves Mini Mouse.

“Well, I love the clothes, and the real mini mouse, but not really the shows because people say I’m not suppose to like it because that’s for babies,” she said.

My mom alert went off.

“Well what do you think?” I asked. She looked at me with uncertainty. “Some people think grow-ups shouldn’t like Disney movies and songs but look at me! Do you think mommy shouldn’t like them just because some people think I shouldn’t?”

A big grin appeared on her face before she said “NO!”


Throughout life we sometimes expect people to follow certain paths. A lot of people equate the pursuit of happiness to be the pursuit of more money. But that’s not synonymous.

As long as I can remember I’ve been a planner. I planned what I wanted to study, what college I wanted to go to, what career I wanted to pursue, when I wanted to have my babies, buy a home or new cars. I frequently find myself daydreaming about the retirement I want, or exactly when our home will be paid off.

It’s not that I’m a control freak, I actually find myself pretty flexible, I just like to have goals I’m working towards.

Until now it’s been fairly easy to make plans. Granted there were some surprises along the way. I didn’t expect to meet and marry my husband as young as I did, and I didn’t plan to pass on a full-time job in news and become home as much as I am, but sometimes you’ve gotta roll with it.

After going to back-to-back blogging conferences I’ve met and conversed with a lot of wonderful people. Sometimes people ask us, or bloggers ask each other “what do you want from this?” or “What is your end goal?” For some people it’s just more money. Or a stable career. Others want to write books, or sell other products. Others hope it lends their way to a new career in an office. Some want opportunities like trips, a chance to work from home, or just enjoy writing publicly.

For years I’ve struggled to define an “end goal” with this thing. I’m learning to separate my own wants and expectations from those of others, and ultimately I’ve realized I don’t need to have a plan.

I don’t want to risk focusing too hard on a path that’s not meant for me, and overlook destiny.

I want my kids to know while I still believe planning and goal-setting can be so helpful, and is important, I think it’s also crucial to keep your heart ready for the unexpected, and be open to inspiration, new ideas and opportunities that are meant for you and come your way.

Had I been completely closed off to blind dating I wouldn’t have met my husband. Had I not started writing online for fun, I wouldn’t have the career I do today.

It’s ok if you don’t have it all figured out right now. It may not be what all of your friend’s are doing, but if you keep working hard at what you love and the puzzle pieces will come together and start to make sense.

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  1. Great share u really put the words to what I have been feeling for a long time. I have been struggling with what my end goal is for my blog and your words inspired me this morning thank you! I don’t have an end goal and it is totally ok!!! xoxo

  2. you have no idea how much i needed this….im in that boat and was struggling to see an “end goal” and to be honest felt like something was wrong with me or that thought like “how will i ever figure it out?”. when you said “its ok if you dont have it all figured out right now” i started crying because at that very moment i knew God was speaking to me….He is so good!!! Praise Jesus!!! thank you for being a vessel and sharing your truth 🙂

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