Just because I’m pissed off I’m not pregnant yet doesn’t mean I’m [blank].
Just because I’m pissed off I’m not pregnant yet doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful for the one I already have.
It doesn’t mean I don’t know it’ll happen in God’s time.
Just because I’m annoyed at my reproductive system doesn’t mean I think I’m infertile (ok, I’ll admit, Google and an Oprah episode about early menopause didget me going for a minute but it’s because I’m a hypochondriac, and it was only for a minute!!)
I may whine about being unsuccessful thus far but that’s not to imply that I feel like I deserve it more than anyone else, or that I’m oblivious to people who have been trying for much longer.
It doesn’t mean my expectations are too high (ok, wait, maybe they are a little).
Just because I want another baby SO badly doesn’t mean I don’t know that there’s only a 20% chance of getting knocked up any given month. Even if you’re jumping your husband every-other day. Go figure
Just because I’m a little sad and disappointed, doesn’t mean I’m stressing about getting pregnant.
…Neither does that fact that I’m adding 40 ovulation predictor tests to my collection of pregnancy test.
Nor my recent purchase of this.
It just means I’m excited, anxious, and a control freak… And maybe a little taboo, because people don’t normally share this kind of thing on the internet when they’re this early on in the process.
It means I may get sad a couple days a month (I’m allowing myself only that much… Then I’ll buy something shiny, treasure my girl, and feel better again.
These are my emotions and this is my space. I’m not going to feel bad for saying how I truly feel.
Note: No one said anything to spark this post, it’s just a matter of knowing what may be said as I embark on this part of my journey. Just wanted to do a little pre-disclosure.
And you shouldn’t feel bad for saying how you feel.
I was preggo while several friends/bloggie friends were TTC, some dealing with infertility issues too. I was able to feel for them, mourn w/ them, respect what they were going through, and still enjoy/celebrate my pregnancy at the same time.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for feeling how you feel, and be sure to share it all here because this is YOUR space to do so.
Don’t feel bad. It makes us feel a little closer to you when you show your true feelings.
I love that you share. Someone out there is always going through the exact thing and your posts may be comforting.
I am right there with ya. I think you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself so early on, though. I tweeted to you yesterday about the age difference issue, but here’s my story. It took me a few months to get pregnant the first time around, and it turns out that we simply got lucky, because (as I found out years later), I am borderline polycystic ovary syndrome, which has led to infrequent, inadequate ovulation. I didn’t even know that was the case last time, I just thought I was irregular after being on the pill for years. I had a fantastic pregnancy and now have a very active four year old son. I originally wanted kids three years apart, but when my son was two he was so difficult that I knew it wasn’t good timing. The money thing was an issue, too, as two rounds of daycare wasn’t ideal. So, we put it off a year. Last summer I went off the pill and my cycle was wonky again. We couldn’t even really try to get pregnant because we never knew where things stood. By the spring we had to take a break (to avoid being massively pregnant for a big family trip in the fall), and I went to a fertility doc to check things out. That’s when I found out about the PCOS, and she suggested some very simple treatment–Clomid, followed by an ultrasound to check that there’s ONE follicle (no multiples, please!), and a shot of HCG to get things moving. I’m currently playing the waiting game–no early testing because the HCG can give a false positive–and hoping for good news. If not, we have a few more tries before things get crazy. In the meantime, though, we’re not facing almost five years between kids, which was NOT what I had wanted at all…but I’m looking hard for positives, and I think they’re there. I’ve been walking the same fine line of posting about my process on my blog vs. keeping some things private…it’s not easy, but you are certainly allowed to do what you have to do to stay sane. Just try not to put a lot of pressure on yourself, because that just can’t help matters. Keeping calm is extra helpful, especially if, for some reason, you’re in for a longer wait. Don’t make yourself nuts until you have to 🙂
It’s a tough thing. We always want things to happen in our time, when in fact God is only going to grant us with what is meant to be, when it’s meant to be. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It’s perfectly normal to feel the way that you do. Keep your head up mama!
Yes our own trials are just that our own- it might make some people mad to hear us complain as they have it “worse” but in the end we usually would all take our own challenges and struggles over anyone else’s anyways.
This post came at the most perfect time for me! There were 3 pregnancy announcements online yesterday, it was about all I could take. This definitely shares a lot of my feelings!
This is a personal blog where you can share your *personal* feelings. Please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about expressing them. Also, please don’t consider writing about TTC a taboo; I’m sure many of your readers have dealt with the same thing. We’re going for baby 2 in the fall, and I know I’m going to have a hard time if it doesn’t happen in a snap. In fact…I’ve already bought an ovulation kit just in case.
In short, please keep doing what you’re doing, feeling what you’re feeling, and keeping us informed!
I’ve felt like this! (((HUG)))
Jennifer, you feel how you feel and that’s okay! I think it’s awesome that you are so anxious to have another one. Good luck and happy trying!
thanks for sharing. You are probably feeling the same way that many other women are feeling. You are allow to express yourself, it is your spaace.
Jennifer, You commented on my FB the other day when I was having a rough day. It surprised me to see your comment, but out of everyone that responded yours probably helped the most 🙂 Thank you for that. I tell you this because, this blog post hits pretty close to home. Obviously our situations/circumstances are different, but I can say that… It’s built in our DNA to want to have children. Its a good worthy desire to have. A selfless desire even. Being a mother is the greatest calling anyone can have because you constantly give of yourself and become a better person for it. I want that, and It’s always inspiring to see other women want that too.
Life gets pretty crazy and it doesn’t always play out how we want it to. Currently- Things haven’t ended how I wanted them to either. I liked what the other girls have said about everything will work out in Gods time. I believe that be true. I have to believe it, its what keeps me going.
Just like you said… It’s okay to have a down day. It’s okay to feel frustrated and upset today, but to get back up on your high horse tomorrow and just do the best that you can do. Easier said then done. I know… but buying something shiny and pretty sounds like it working! haha. So just keep at it girl. Have faith, and things will fall into place as they should.
Feel how you want to feel girl! Expressing your feelings are healthy. And lay off the Google and Oprah, they’ll get ya every time! You don’t know how many things we’ve diagnosed ourselves with cause Google and Oprah!
It’s tough wanting to get pregnant, and not being able to make it happen! My first pregnancy was unexpected (but the greatest gift). When my lovely daughter was two, I found out I was pregnant again and was ecstatic. We hadn’t been trying – but I did want another baby. Unexpectedly, I suffered a miscarriage and to say I was devastated is a complete understatement. For almost a year my husband and I tried again for another baby. It started to feel like an impossible feat, so we just decided to quit trying a leave it up to fate. We started eating better and taking vitamins daily and getting healthier, and then it happened! Now i am 15 weeks and over the moon with excitement. Just have patience. Things will work out and you and your hubs will be blessed with another beautiful child before you know it!
I think it’s very brave of you to blog about your journey again. Each pregnancy is different and it’ll be nice to have this to look back on and see those differences. This blog has become such a haven for some many women who are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant and those who have children.
At the end of the day this is your space. And so this is your place to write about whatever floats your boat.
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I know the feeling of your disappointment. And there is nothing wrong with being pissed off. 🙂
Good luck beautiful! Wishing you the best!
We had been TTC for a little over a year. I bought the Conceive Plus as well as some other called Pre-Seed. We tried those for a while and then I decided to make a phone call to my midwife to see if something else was wrong. That next week, we had 3 positive home pregnancy tests. I think you can do no wrong in those two products. They make sense. Obviously everyone is different and everyone has different reproductive issues going on, but anything you can do to help your situation out is worth it! Good luck!
I know this sounds terrible but I was in this same boat. Had an 18 month old and wanted another one so badly. We tried for 8 months (I stood on my head) and NOTHING. I am not one to drink. I don’t party BUT, we went to a new years get together and BOOM! I got pregnant! I was also told that baby aspirin works somehow. My aunt tried for 7 years after she had her first child. My niece ended needing a blood transfusion and my aunt gave her blood. The doctor told her she would end up pregnant and she did! These all seem to be things that thin the blood. I don’t know how they work but they have been proven time and time again:)
Agreed. I’m telling you your comments are spot on with how I’m feeling right now. Literally only 4-6 people know I’m trying and I keep hearing don’t stress about it… I’m not stressed I’m disappointed that baby making isn’t as easy as oops I’m pregnant especially for those of us who like to plan EVERY big step to ensure the best possible outcome. I think my impatience, research and comments lead them to believe I’m stressed but I’m not; it is simply disappointment and impatience.