When it comes to taking pregnancy tests, is ignorance bliss?
I thought this time around I’d just take a test every day (during my two week wait) every month until I got a positive result or the fat lady sang.
Well on my second month in I gave this a try and test day 1 was a disaster.
I saved an empty plastic teddy grams container– perfect for containing pee–and kept it in my bin with pregnancy tests and feminine supplies (I know, kinda ironic). Better it locked away than out and about for someone to confuse with a mouth-rinsing cup.
I followed the directions: Peed in the cup, dipped the strip in (not crossing the do-not-cross line) and set it flat on the tub for a few minutes. I didn’t wait five… I never seem to have have five minutes these days. But I could tell it was negative. (Of course I held it up to the light and examined it from every angle before conclusively deciding this and throwing it away.)
You’d think I wouldn’t care. I was only about 9 days post-ovulation and statistically there’s only about a 10% chance a positive result would show up that early anyway, but I was bummed. Seriously bummed. And I thought maybe the test was wrong. I contemplated going to my OBs office to get a blood test to be sure but talked myself out of it… Thank goodness. I called them to see if I could set up an appointment but hearing my own response to the questions made me realize how dumb I sounded.
Receptionist: “So you took an at home test?”
Receptionist: “And it was positive?”
Me: “No, it was negative.”
Receptionist: “And you think it may be wrong?”
Me: “Um, I don’t know, I’m just impatient.”
She transferred me to the nurses line but I hung up before leaving a message.
I didn’t test for the next couple of days thinking it wouldn’t be positive enough anyway, and another discouraging negative may make me feel horrible all over again, or worse… Foolishly hopeful there was still a chance.
By the weekend my attitude changed and I was testing morning and night for the heck of it (I’ve got a 50 pack), only feeling partially disappointed, but still clinging to every possible symptom as a chance.
Finally, five days later, a definite NO confirmed what I had learned five days earlier.
So now I’m asking myself, is it worth the torture to find out early?
Of course a positive result is fun to find out early. But not a negative one.
This month it was the same song but to a different tune, with ovulation tests. They finally showed up positive way later than I was expecting, which isn’t good based on my research and charts. So I set up a “pre-conception appointment” with my obgyn for the 23rd ironically, the same day I should know if I’m pregnant or not. In the mean time I’m using progesterone cream, taking vitamin B6 and telling myself not to take any early tests this month.
Problem is I know too much. Of course it’ll happen when it happens, but there’s sorta a science to it too. I enjoy trying to understand why things work, and don’t work, and yes, it may make me seem a little cray cray.
Maybe it would be better if I wasn’t a fanatic when it came to research. If I was one of those “Woah! Whatdoyaknow, I’m pregnant again, what a shocker!” people. Maybe this is one of those cases where ignorance really is bliss.
PS: I love the love, but before you lovingly tell me not to stress, read this. I promise I’m not as stressed as I may sound.