You can take it or leave it: I’m no longer excusing our mess


The story I’m about to share is written as a part of an ongoing partnership with Yoplait. Enjoy! 

“Please excuse the mess we’re…”

Actually, no, I won’t excuse our mess anymore.

Some time ago, while I was huffing and puffing about our house being messy, my daughter overheard me complaining and gave me some advice:

“If it’s a messy house that means it’s a fun house,” she told me. “So don’t feel bad mama!”

We’ve all heard the phrase “Excuse the mess, our children are making memories!” I’m hesitant to use this phrase because though I know what it’s trying to convey, I can see how it can make people feel one of two ways:

1. Shamed for having a clean house because then you “must not be making memories” (honestly, I don’t know how anyone could feel bad or shamed about having a clean house but I hear this is a thing).

2. Validated, or excused for actually having a messy house, regardless of the amount of memories you’re making. I mean, let’s just be honest, we don’t like cleaning.

Is it so bad to admit that? Some people rocked at breastfeeding, others skipped the epidural. Some people are all about the healthy home-cooked organic meals every night, and some people have really, really clean homes.

If we’re taking a tally I’ve earned like one point in the supermom scorecard (If you’re counting all of the natural and “picture perfect” ideals as supermom). But you know what? I still think I’m a pretty awesome mom. And thankfully my kids back me up on that.

Mom On

I was watching The Bachelorette earlier this week and one of the commercials caught my eye. A commercial with a mom nursing her baby on a park bench when an older couple walked by giving her the stankeye. “Someone’s always judging” she said.

It ends with the phrase “Mom On” which I think is a beautiful mantra we can all take. I’m still working on my insecurities — not being what some, or I would consider a “perfect mom” (by the way I have one friend who I think is textbook-perfect mom, I know she’ll tell me she’s not, but I’m convinced she never loses her cool and does everything right). I’m trying my best and I think at least in some ways I’m doing even better than my parents! That’s something!

This year I’m partnering with Yoplait on their Mom On campaign. I’ll be giving you glimpses into ways I think I’m kicking butt, and things I’m still working on improving. I hope you’ll join me in my journey to Mom On!

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    1. You are so sweet Charlotte! I love what you recently said about not feeling self-centered when we take time to care for ourselves. I need to get better about that! I think that can especially be hard as we become parents. And sometimes loving myself means just letting the house go for a bit! haha

  1. I am so bad about staying on top of it when it comes to our kids rooms. Our 8 year old daughter’s room is a disaster. Our sons share a room now, so the room is semi messy because our 2 year old has plenty of toys in there.

    1. Haha, the sad thing is I have one monthly already, the day before she comes we’re frantically trying to straighten up. Then it’s clean for a week tops.

  2. I used to always apologize for having a messy house. But then I realised that people call to see us, not a show home, so I stopped caring (well, almost haha). Now I don’t feel the pressure to be spotless every time someone calls, and it’s loads better 🙂

    Louise x

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  4. My mom is the tidiest person around. I just didn’t get those genes. My house is always 15 minutes away from being respectable, but never perfect. I am almost there, but need to get to the place you’re at with being comfortable with it.

  5. Amen Sister! I say this on a daily! The house will be clean again when the kids are adults and have moved out. The more important thing is the time with the kids which we can never get back. That is what our children will remember!

  6. Yes to all this!!!! I ALWAYS feel the need to apologize for my house being messy. I feel like people are going to judge me because my house is very “lived in”. As a single mom, I have to prioritize my time. With everything else I’ve got going on, keeping the house tidy and organized falls to the wayside. I make sure the essentials are done but beyond that, hey if you love me and my kids you’ll excuse the toys you have to walk over when you come to my house lol.

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