“I don’t know if it’s normal…” One of my good friends confided in me.
A few years back one of my friends quietly confided in me saying her child was still experiencing bedwetting. I honestly didn’t know the answer to her question.
Our kids were the same age, but it wasn’t something my child had experienced. I tried to give her encouraging words. I assumed it was just a phase and something her little one would outgrow. That’s what I told her, but I honestly had no idea what she was going through or what I was talking about.
Fast forward a few years. Now I do have a child experiencing the same thing and I know exactly how she must have been feeling.
You doubt yourself and your parenting. And you wonder if your child is somehow behind the developmental curve. Add the fact that no one talks about it and it compounds all of these emotions.
I’ve recently shared a few Instagram posts opening up about nighttime wetting and almost instantly got private messages of solidarity and questions about it being “normal”.
I also got one comment asking why I was so willing to put my child’s embarrassing business out there for his future girlfriend to see. A few ideas for retorts crossed my mind. From “what girlfriend? I’m the only girl in his life!” And “oh, this is nothing!” But honestly, I think it’s an important conversation that we’re making worse by making it out to be a dirty little secret. I want to be an advocate to help others who may be feeling confused and alone.
I’ve collaborated with GoodNites NightTime Underwear to share some of our story and what I’ve learned. The team hooked me up with child development expert Dr. Heather Wittenberg and I got to chat with her and pour out all my concerns and what she told me was really reassuring. She also talked to me about how to have a productive, meaningful conversation with my child about nighttime wetting.
4 encouraging tips about nighttime wetting
1. Nighttime wetting is more common than we think. But we don’t hear about it much because there’s often a shame component attached to it. It’s characterized by unintentional urination during nighttime sleep, and it is caused by the brain and bladder not communicating correctly while a child is asleep. Again for the people in the back… It is developmental, and in nearly all cases, will go away in its own time.
2. Kids develop differently and bladder control while sleeping doesn’t happen at the same time for every child. Trust yourself and don’t put too much pressure on how you think it’s supposed to go. Every child is different, and they have a different developmental timeline too. If your little one is still wet at night, just know you are not alone and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about – they will grow out of it!
3. There’s no need to bribe your child or bring it to his/her attention because it’s a matter of biological control. So resist the urge for shaming/punishing or even rewarding. The best thing you can do for your child is to make them feel comfortable. Consider products like GoodNites, which can help ease the stress of bedwetting and provide a management solution so you and your child can rest easy. They come in an extra small size for little guys and gals who are recently potty trained but still experiencing some wetness at night.
4. It’s important to keep conversations positive and calm with your child. For me, my conversations with Big T focus on avoiding stress and anxiety, even when he experiences regression. Dr. Heather also taught me that some kids wet the bed every night, while others may only wet the bed a few times a month. This can be confusing for kids when they’re dry for a few weeks then one morning they wake up wet. If the subject comes up, I always stay positive and use calm language. Since Big T isn’t concerned about it, my only job if and when he is curious is to focus on more of what I learned from Dr. Heather: emphasizing that his body is still developing and he will grow out of it naturally.
Your conversation might look different though, so make sure to check out for GoodNites Guides with different tips and talking points for many different situations.
Parenting is hard enough. The comparison game is so real, even between our own children. But I’m glad to know this is one of those things I don’t need to stress about. And like my friend who reported later that her daughter outgrew that bedwetting stage, I know my little one will too.
This post is sponsored by GoodNites® Nighttime Underwear.