Thank you so much for all of the sweet congratulatory comments! It was so nice to read those as I was confined to the bed/couch/recliner/wherever Little J wants to eat. Yes, she is in charge now my friends, so when I’m gonna say something I’ve gotta say it fast! This is my first time on my computer since she’s been born but I also can’t stand putting her down so this is how we’re making it work right now:
After some discussion with Lil’ J’s daddy I’ve decided not to share her name on my blog. I was originally planning to announce it after she was born but I wasn’t expecting my readership to be what it is, and although it’s just a first name, for now, I feel better keeping her known as Lil’ J. Some people have already told me they are having fun guessing what her name is, or thinking of her as different “J” names, so feel free to do that if it helps. Also, as much as I want to flood my blog with photos of my little girl (cause she’s so freaking cute), her daddy is asking me to restrain a little. I’m going to have to use a lot of will power to not post 10 photos in this post… Just three. But if you’re a facebook or twitter follower you can see more there!

If you follow me on Twitter you’ve probably been witnessing my breakdowns, my bragging, my highs and lows so far. I don’t have time to write much more than 140 characters now and then, on anything more than my iPhone, so Twitter has been the place for my rants.

I LOVE being a mommy. But the first night home was ROUGH. I had a few melt downs. Whenever people talk about new babies I hear them say “they wake up every few hours…” Every few hours would have been easy, she didn’t sleep more than five minutes at a time the entire night. She’s wake up screaming bloody murder, eat, eat from the other side and finally fall asleep. Then I’d go to lay her down in her bassinet next to me and she’s either wake up right away, and start the cycle over, or wake up no more than five minutes later after setting her down.

I tried keeping her in bed with me but I was overly exhausted and couldn’t sleep with her safely, I woke up a couple of times almost on top of her and decided the risk of bed sharing wasn’t worth it for us.

I had a melt down, vented on twitter, and cried. A lot.

More details about my thoughts on breastfeeding and those first few days coming soon, but long story short, my milk came in the next day and the next night she was up every hour, and eating for about 20 minutes, but she’d sleep about an hour after eating. I was up every hour, but only for a little while, and some sleep was WAY better than no sleep. I was SO HAPPY to be getting some, and I feel like the worst is over.
Now, the way she got here… I felt SO MUCH unnecessary stress about her birth and while it was self inflicted, I learned a HUGE lesson to go with my gut on my mothering decisions. I did decide to get induced, knowing possible consequences but believed the risks of not doing it when I did outweighed the risks of waiting.

I’ll post some sort of birth story soon, in hopes to remember a unique and wonderful learning experience, while also remembering a lesson of self-confidence, and self assurance. I also know I learned a great deal about the process from reading other people’s experiences so maybe mine will help another’s. I’ll do it in a way that keeps the sacred and personal parts out, but still shares how I welcomed my little princess into the world and how I’m beginning my journey through motherhood.

Stay tuned.

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  1. So glad to see everyone is healthy and doing well – she’s beautiful! Love the picture in the yellow dress! I’m pretty sure my little one has the same dress in pink πŸ™‚

  2. Welcome back. She’s so precious. I can’t believe she’s smiling already (at least that’s what it looks like in the last pic). Congrats again!!! Best wishes and see you back when you get another break.

  3. She looks just perfect.

    As far as meltdowns – no sleep, crazy post-pregnancy hormones and learning how to soothe your first baby – meltdowns are gonna happen. But as you get to know each other better, and you settle into a routine, things will work out just fine.

    Try to enjoy this time as much as you can!

  4. She is just adorable. I bet you are the best mommy! It is very hard the first few months (or at least it was for me!) I cried a lot, but it’s all worth it:) Time definitely flies so enjoy every minute with her! I look forward to reading your tweets and seeing her grow!!

  5. i hope you can get a little sleep soon! she is absolutely gorgeous, and that family pic is just stunning and beautiful. thanks for sharing that with us! i totally support keeping her name out of the blog. you have to go with what is best for your family.

  6. She is beautiful!!! What a pretty little girl! Best of luck to you as you get this whole parenthood thing figured out! You look wonderful!

  7. So glad everything is going good! The only way I got sleep was co-sleeping. Melt downs will keep you from going crazy! We’ve all had them. She’s beautiful!!

  8. Lil J is ADORABLE!!! I love the second picture. The family photo is great, too, and I love her little smile. πŸ™‚

    I’m glad things are looking up. My first couple of weeks with my daughter were ROUGH. My issues were all attributed to nursing though. For something to be so “natural”, it was soooo HARD! My daughter was very sleepy at the breast, so we had to use a lot of interventions (in home lactation consultant, weighing after each session to see how much milk she transferred, supplemental nursing system taped to my breast to “trick” her into nursing, some formula supplementing early on and pumping after she nursed to encourage my milk supply and drain my breasts) to get her to eat and to get my milk supply up. It was exhausting. This experience was the one dark cloud looming over the happiest time of my life. At 3 weeks post partum, I switched to pumping exclusively to get my head back in the game. At 4 1/2 weeks, my daughter mastered nursing and we’ve never looked back. I’m happy to say I’m still nursing her at 17 months, so things DO get better.

    I hope Lil J will start sleeping for longer stretches so you can get some rest. Great to hear from you. πŸ™‚

  9. congratulations — or, as my people say, MAZAL TOV — on your stunning, beautiful, perfect new arrival πŸ™‚

    i recently stumbled on your blog via twitter and a few other mama bloggers, and i hope you will check out my stuff at http://www.thecrazybabymama.com.

    if you want the ins on the not-so-pretty-nitty-gritty of parenting, then i think you’ll be in luck πŸ˜‰

  10. shes precious! the craziness is just starting…haha make sure to keep your dr informed if the craziness for you lasts longer then 6 weeks postpartum because of postpartum depression, i had it with my 1st and my last !!! love the headband and the family portrait!!

  11. So excited for you. Try gently massaging a drop of the lavender essential oil I sent you on her belly when she is having a hard time calming down or resting. Good luck!

  12. Oh wow!! Congratulations to both of you….Lil J is just precious!! I simply love the family photo…gorgeous! Glad she’s sleeping a little longer for you now….trust me, it WILL get better eventually. Until then, you will be one tired mama! LOL

    Many blessings for all of you!

    Tree (aka Mother of Pearl)
    Mother of Pearl It Is

  13. Jenn, my little Audrey did the same thing on our first night home! She would not sleep anywhere but next to me. It was a total nightmare. Luckily, Carson was the opposite — he could sleep anywhere. So if you’re already dreading next time, don’t! It might be different.

    She is really, really beautiful. You are so lucky. Can’t wait to hear the story. Write it down quick, before you forget!

  14. She is just so dang gorgeous. Doesn’t it feel so good, too, to own your motherhood? The confidence and the empowerment that comes with being a mom? So glad for you!

  15. So happy you are back.

    She is super CUTE! She is all smiley and to think that she is a baby of four days, she is going to be tall. Lovely family!

    Love to you all! A big hug! Xxx, MsBabyPlan.

  16. oh my goodness what a beauty!!! already smiling! congrats! I’d been wondering if you’d had her yet and was just fixing the link to your site from my blog. She is beautiful!!!

  17. Lil J in the yellow dress… Adorable! If I wasn’t at work right now, I’d probably be crying. I want a little girl! LOL Congrats again! I know I’d said it a million times on twitter but I love seeing all the pictures. Hope your having a great time and enjoying learning new things just like she is!

  18. Congrats!!! She’s so beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Can’t wait to see and hear more.

    I’m unsure what protection keeping her name a secret offers you when you are showing her photos. I’d feel more comfortable telling my child’s name and not showing pictures.
    Since it makes you and hubby more comfy that’s all the difference and most important though.

    I like Lil J though…reminds me of gossip girl lol.

    Congrats again and I love that pic of all 3 of you. Everyone looks so happy!!

  19. Congratulations on everything, the baby, the awesome pictures, actually getting around to blogging, and for hanging in there! I remember it being so hard after Bug was born. We would be sitting in the glider in the middle of the night, both bawling our eyes out! Luckily, that doesn’t last too long! You look gorgeous, and I LOVE that family picture. Such a cute pose! Keep up the good work Mama!

  20. Lil J is precious! Love those newborn photos. Thanks for sharing! Welcome home to you both. Glad to see things are going great. πŸ™‚

  21. she is seriously too cute! i can’t believe y’all already had family pictures done – you look FABULOUS!! you are so naturally pretty πŸ˜‰ which your daughter gets to luck into!!

    congrats again! and this post can’t be all positive… i’m so dissapointed not to get to hear the name – i’m still hoping you’ll change your mind =)

  22. I just wanted to say what an angel you have there, shes so gorgeous. (but we all knew she would be).
    As for the long nights, as she learns to eat faster you will get more sleep, it just takes them time and practice. My little one was the same way the first two weeks. (we quit BF but that was because he was jondice and they required formula, but he was just getting going too). Best of luck, many many hugs, and you can always email if you like.

  23. Congratulations on your new baby! She is beautiful & your pics are amazing. Your post brings back so many memories of my own first few days with my first. Stay strong. Keep your head up. You’re a Mommy now!

  24. Congrats! Beautiful little girl you have there! I totally understand, and respect your decision to keep her name secret from the blog world/internet.

    I can’t wait to read more stories and information as I look forward to becoming a mommy some day!

  25. Congratulations! And may I just say that she is adorable!! I’m super impressed that you have already taken family pictures. I hope you can get more sleep soon!

  26. She sure is precious!!!! No red hair…you were right, I was wrong. Ha! I just played on that. We were shocked with our red curlz! Many blessings to you all. Much love.

  27. The whole family looks great.

    I understand how you feel about sharing your happiness with the world. She is so adorable!

    It’s okay to cry. Blame it on hormones.

    Have a wonderful day!


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  29. She’s beautiful! Congrats on your little angel! I love the family picture as well, you could be an ad in a parent magazine! She almost looks like she’s smiling in that one.

    I don’t blame you for keeping her name and pictures under wrap. Although I’d love to know, I will probably be the same way with our baby. There are just too many crazies out there – one ruins the whole bunch.

  30. Congratulations, Mama, on all of it – on going with your gut, being open and honest about your emotions, and, most importantly, on your success as a new mother.

  31. Awwww, can I hold her??? She is beautiful. Hey, don’t worry about the breakdowns. Your homones have been doing strange things for 9months, it’s going to take that much time to get your own hormones back to normal. You’ll go through a lot of emotions. But the joy outweighs the hormones. Just don’t bottle it up cause that’s how depression can set in. It’s no longer taboo. Anyway, enough of all that stuff, your baby is beautiful. Congrats again. Can’t wait to hear all the stories.

  32. She’s gorgeous! Congratulations! You just gave me first night at home flashbacks. I had the same experience! The next night I tried to sleep in the recliner with my son because I was too afraid to cosleep (and I vowed I never would!)I’m glad you’re all adjusting…

    Don’t you sort of feel like you’re outside of time? Like the rest of the world is kind of irrelevant?

  33. She is so so so incredibly beautiful, those pictures are amazing!!! And I’m sorry but it’s completely unfair how gorgeous you look too… and you just gave birth! Baby J has a great life ahead of her. Congrats!

  34. I’m glad that you’re back!! Love how the two of your are working out a way to keep her close so that you can still get on the computer. Moo would not let me lay her down anywhere for the first month. She literally spent every waking and sleeping moment in my arms or some other family member. I guess that explains why she can’t stand for us to hold her now. LOL.

    Anyways, welcome to Motherhood!!!! I love how you are respecting your husband’s wishes about keeping a little mystery about Lil J. By the way, how is Snoop enjoying his little sister?

  35. She is PRECIOUS! So beautiful! New mommy meltdowns are totally normal. I cried for a week after I brought my first son home. I was tired. I was sore. All I wanted to do was take a shower and eat a meal. Five years later I repeated the scene with my daughter, only she had colic. Her first night home she cried until 5AM. I didn’t know what to do, and I cried. Not cried, sobbed. Sobbed all night. My poor hubby couldn’t do much for me but take her for a few minutes so I could try and collect myself and try and nurse her again. It was awful. But, after a few weeks, a routine steps in and it gets better. Besides, a few tears are worth it. Congrats again!

  36. For starters, congrats!!! You are now embarking on the most interesting part of your life πŸ™‚
    Secondly, I wanted to reply to you on twitter, but I had too much to say, so I decided to post a comment on your blog. πŸ™‚
    Congrats on breastfeeding. You must have a million questions (I know I did). Thankfully my lactation consultant was always available. Plus, I did a lot of reading..
    With regards to pumping, the best to pump is in the morning. Your milk supply is at it’s highest plus it’s more fatty since you ‘rested’ during the night (though I know you’re not really resting now). So pump after your morning feeding. I started about 10 days before I went back to work.
    Oh, and start introducing her to the bottle. Because some babies don’t take to it very well. My son gave us a lot of trouble. My tip is you give her the bottle the first couple of times, then have your hubby do it with you no where around (maybe that would be a good time for you to get some mama-pamper time).
    Then when you go back to work, you’ll need to pump at every feeding so your milk supply doesn’t decrease. Hope you got a good pump that has a nice bottle carrier. I’m simply in love with my Medela Pump-in-Style. A bit pricey, but worth every penny.
    Best of luck with everything. I know how tough it is to be a working mom. I lasted about 3 months at my job after giving birth to my daughter. Then circumstances had it that I left my job… and later decided to just stay at home.
    Congrats again!
    P.S. Do share your birthing story. πŸ™‚

  37. Congrats! Baby J’ is beautiful! Might I suggest a co-sleeper? They attach to the side of the bed so the baby can safely sleep beside you and your hubby. They make those late night nursing sessions so much easier because you just have to turn over and there is your munchkin! The company that makes them is called Arms Reach. Good luck,lady – I will be having my freak outs right there with you in less than 4 weeks!!

  38. shut up!! that baby is soo darn cute! you look amazing in your family picture!!! just remember that you are not the only mother awake at night. it gave me some comfort during the adjusting period. πŸ™‚

  39. I am sure the presence of your beautiful daughter instantly brings about overwhelming emotions just when looking at her. There’s truly nothing like those first few weeks!

    Often times a persons “voice” is miscontrued when written so please don’t take offense to the following, because I’m not saying it in a mean way at all….

    I’m sure the large majority of your readers were looking forward to the reveal of your baby’s name and hearing how your entire birth experience went since there were so many posts that you did leading up to the moment, yet you’ve chose to withold your baby’s name and you’ve stated that you will be “keeping the sacred and personal parts [of your birth experience] out” – it’s sort of like not getting to know the entire ending of a book you’ve been reading for 9 months when the author decides to withhold the answers to the readers burning questions. I agree with Dani as she said “I am unsure what keeping your daughters name a secret offers you when you’ve posted pictures”. Out of curiosity, what is it exactly that you {or/and your husband} are afraid will happen? There are many high profile bloggers who have thousands upon thousands – upon thousands – of followers and aren’t at all resistant about doing posts, which even include pictures, of their child/ren – especially since their blog’s focus is about life as a mother. Where does your reluctancy come from? Naturally, this is your blog and whatever you choose to disclose – or keep private – is up to you. I was just wanting to know if you would delve into your reasonings a bit more.

    I hope that your birth experience was more than you thought it would be! I’m sure there were so many beautiful, memorable aspects that still bring tears to your eyes. I also had to be induced and spent way too much time ahead of time worrying how things would go. My experience was far better than I imagined it being….and from the little that you have shared, it sounds like yours was too : )

    Enjoy this wonderful newness of the addition to your family. You and your husband, through God, have created a beauty!

  40. She is beautiful!! Love those pictures.
    And yes not enough people talk about how stinking hard a new born is. Sleep deprivation is hard and scary.
    Glad things seem to be a bit better and yes can’t wait to hear about your birth experience.

  41. She is SOOOOO Gorgeous!!! Congratulations!! Isn’t motherhood the BEST! I can’t wait to follow your journey of the best “job” on earth! You are such a doll and your family is precious!

  42. Many (belated) congratulations to you and your family! Baby J is gorgeous, but WOW, you look gorgeous too! I never looked that human (let alone stunning) so soon after my kids’ births. πŸ™‚

    Over these next few weeks, surrender yourself to what chaos you can, enjoy the precious moments and keep on keepin’ on through those moments that aren’t so enjoyable. These first few weeks are magical (and trying), but they go by fast!

  43. Can’t wait to hear all the details. Congratulations by the way, she is absolutely beautiful!!! And BIG too, surprising because your tummy didn’t look big. Both my babies were big, but little J’s got mine beat πŸ™‚ My daughter was 8 lbs 3 oz. and my son was 9 lbs 4 oz.
    My husband is just like yours about posting pictures on my blog. It’s hard not to, but he prefers it if I didn’t. I have a few, but not much.

  44. Hi Jennifer! I found your MONTHS ago and never became a follower. Today I stumbled upon a comment you left on SITS and clicked over to see your progress in becoming a mom and I see that you have given birth to a BEAUTIFUL baby girl!!!

    Congrats! And I’ve read all of your post from the last one to this one! Although I’m not a new mom anymore (5,4,2), I love your blog and will look forward to all of your posts! I wanted to ask, ‘Will you be attending Blissdom in January? I would love to meet you if you are!

    Also, check out my blog if you have time. Its mostly home decor, but I also talk about raising my boys and things I go through being a mom.

    Take care

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