Here’s how it’s ’bout to go down on my blog

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My blog has been through so much over the past three years.

End of 2008-2009 Was a blast going on and on back and forth about becoming a mom, then finally getting pregnant about a year after starting my blog.

2010 Was full of pregnancy documentation, promotions, and exploring the world of reviews and giveaways. Toward the end of 2010 I realized that wasn’t for me and pretty much went in the opposite direction in 2011 avoiding most at all costs.

Toward the end I think I found a happy medium, and I hope to continue that.

I sorta felt like I fell into a mid-blogging-life crisis for a little while. I didn’t want my blog to ONLY be about my daughter, in fact I wanted it to be about ME and my experiences raising her. Not “she did this and she did that…” I also didn’t want to be a blogger who writes sponsored posts all the time. I like to craft but I’m not a “craft blogger” and I’ll never be a go-to site for the coolest crafts. Maybe cool crafts for dummies because my skill level is as such.

I like photography, and taking photos but I’m learning as I go. I’m no Pioneer Woman.

I actually don’t really focus on anything. Which some blogging coaches would say is not good if you want to “grow your blog.”

This made me take a step back and ask myself once again, why I’m blogging.

It sure as heck isn’t to make money. Not on this here blog. That should take some pressure off, right?

I love keeping a journal and I’m going to be totally honest right now… I love knowing that people are actually reading it. People actually think my life is interesting/ crazy/ entertaining/a bad reality show they can’t turn off. Either way, it’s flattering.

Ok there I said it.

So now that I got that off my chest, I’m trying to find a balance between keeping fabulous people who like to read my blog, but not CARING if nobody is reading my blog. Let me explain…

I don’t really pay attention to my blog stats anymore. I get a weekly email with how many people visited but other than glancing that over I don’t pay attention to the analytics. I DO however, read each and ever comment and email I get and I get all happy and sappy when I get a big response to a post. The problem is the opposite is true when I get little to no response. I’m like “wait, where did everyone go?… They must hate me… Ok I shouldn’t write about that anymore.”

So one person may say that my no-sew tshirt dress tutorial helped them SO MUCH, but in my head I’m like “huh, one comment, people must think that’s boring.”

Then someone may email or facebook me saying they loved it, and I get excited again for them. It’s an emotional roller coaster.

Ok, its not that bad. It’s silly, but some of that it goes through my head. Especially cause I’m a hypocrite. Yea, I’ll admit it. I don’t comment on blogs I read as much as I should either. Actually last year was so busy it was an all-time low for visiting other blogs and commenting back.

Ok, I’m going on way too long about this. Anyway, point is, I may have thought up a solution to my problem.

If I’m going to be honest with myself, I’m not writing this blog JUST for myself. It’s for myself, my daughter, my family, my friends, and all of the people who have written to me and said my experiences and words have helped them in some way. If more people discover my little corner of the Internet, its awesome. But I can’t stress about it. This aint a job. In fact, it’s more like free therapy.

SO… To find the balance between caring and not caring and going back to my frequent stream-consciousnesses posts I’m going to write as if I’m writing this blog for myself and my best friend.

Funny thing is, I don’t think my best friend reads my blog.

You know who else doesn’t read my blog? … Aside from my husband. (He doesn’t read it either (but he’s not allowed to)). My mom. Jeez, now that I think about it no one reads my blog. Except you. Therefore you will be like the BFF I’m writing to from now on. I can be silly, share my secrets (but not the ones that could get me fired or divorced) introduce you to cool things I find, teach you how I made something new, tell you how much I love being a mom, and ask you what you think of my new outfit, or the photo I took this morning.

And I won’t be sad if you don’t respond right away because hey, we are busy people. And life gets in the way. I can totally relate. Even if you don’t talk for a while, you know your BFF is still there whenever you need them, and you can pick back up right where you left off.

Another thing… Going through my blog rolls and old posts I noticed an extremely different crowd. It’s like a class of Baby Making Machine readers graduated and I’m yapping to a new group of kids.

I feel bad having a blog roll when I can’t add everyone. Especially when I’d most like to visit those who visit me and see what yall are all about because if you like me that means I’d probably like you too.

To solve this problem I got rid of my blog rolls on the sidebar and my friends link at the top. Now I can focus on getting to know visitors who want to be visited and make new blog friends. How will I know who you are, you ask? With my handy dandy stalker tracker of course. It’ll email me your address and I can come visit your house and bring you cookies!


My comments section will be like my daily blog roll. If you leave your link in your comment, or if it’s attached to your name and you’ve updated within a month, I’ll assume you don’t mind me paying you a visit back. I’ve already been doing this since the start of the year and it’s SO NICE visiting you back!

So there you have it! My blogging resolution to write as if this is for me and my BFF in a nutshell.

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  1. Sounds like a great plan. I don’t often comment, but I do read most of your posts- so I’m here!

    For a while I was participating in the Mini Mod Mondays, but then I got pregnant with baby #2 and my energy went bye-bye, so I was sleeping when I’d have otherwise been taking pictures/blogging/anything.

    People’s lives ebb and flow- now that I’m in my second trimester I’m feeling a lot better and trying to get back into the swing of things!

  2. I think that’s a great idea. My resolution is to comment more too. I started doing the same thing- if there is a link back, and they’ve updated within a month, I make sure to leave a little comment when I visit! share the love ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. If the first BMM class graduated, I must be the burnout loser who keeps repeating sophomore year lol. I’ve been reading since you started I think! I don’t even remember how I found your blog.

    Most of the time, I don’t comment because your craft ideas, while ADORABLE, are for girls, and I don’t have one of those. In fact, I have a whiny (right now!) little boy who is I think about a year and three months older than your little one (I found your blog while I was on bed rest with him, if that tells you something about how long I’ve been reading!).

    That said, I know you are a reader of our family blog, which I suck at updating. I felt honored to see your face pop up on my GFC because you were this “big famous blogger with a thousand readers” and I’m just a nobody ๐Ÿ™‚ You’re welcome to visit my “business blog” (which really isn’t even much of a business at this point, but I update it a lot more) at

    After this long-winded comment, you’re probably glad I *don’t* comment more often ๐Ÿ˜‰ Congrats on the new blog direction!

  4. HAHA I have like 3 readers and I love them to bits. I too wonder if people hate what I’m posting when I get no comments. But I post what I wanna anyway! ๐Ÿ™‚

    For the record, I love your blog and read up no matter what you post ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. Your stream of conscience (sp?) is similar to mine and it made me laugh a little. For some reason I don’t comment on blogs I read but I love comments from readers… weird.

    I must say I’m here- like a quiet presence in the room. Seen but not heard (or should I say reading but not commenting?). However at the end of day I wouldn’t mind if you dropped off some cookies… of the warm and chewy chocolate chip variety :).

  6. I think we’re all being forced to reevaluate why and how we blog. I’ve never had over the moon traffic, but it’s always been steady. Except now? Not so much. My comments are down, traffic is down, but then, my posting is down too, so it’s all kinda related, I’m sure. I too have become so very terrible at visiting other blogs and commenting back… I always skim through my favorites in my reader, but I’ve got so many writing projects I’m working on right now, and hello, I’m pregnant with baby number 6. SO. Free time is sort of at a premium, ya know?

    I don’t want blogging to stop all together though. A lot of people have stopped… simply slipping away quietly. I would be sad if everyone left… including you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Setting goals for myself has been a huge deal for me this year. I feel like I just kind of slacked off last year. Not only with my blog, but with my life in general.

    So here’s to a better year… For both of us! Good luck with all of your endeavors!

  8. I am going to be changing my blog up a bit when I go on maternity leave and have a little time, when I am not awwing over my new baby, nursing, or sleeping… hmmm maybe the blog redirection will haveta wait till I go back to work. lol! Anywho, I have one MAIN goal for my blog and that’s to be more consistent. I blog so sporadically…

  9. I love reading you blog, even if I’m a lame commenter. I always think I should leave a comment and then get pulled away to something else and never get around to it. Life–what can you do, right?! I think you’re delightful and I’m happy that you’ve come up with a new way to blog. I have no idea who I write my blog for–mostly me, I think, but I also have grand plans to print it yearly for my kids to have when they get older. (This is getting way too long!) I get sad when I don’t get comments, but then I have to remind myself that (1) I’m not that great at commenting either, and (2) I write for me and no one else. Good luck with your new year and your goals!

  10. I’m terrible at commenting on blogs, hwoever have been with you since the “early time”. ๐Ÿ™‚ I have loved seeing your blog and family go through a natural growth.

    Thanks for sharing. I also made a promise to myself to comment on more blogs as I love getting comments too.

    Have a blessed new year and keep doing what feels right for you!

  11. I haver tried commenting on many of your articles but for some reason after I type everything and post it never shows up. This morning it showed up as Im checking to see if it is still happening. I love your blog very very much!

  12. You are too adorable… blogging should be fun, not another job! I’ve been reading since you were pregnant and I will read no matter if you have giveaways and all that or not. In fact I think I’ve only entered 1 or 2 haha
    Your readers who truly care will still follow along (:
    Sometimes I will read a post and want to
    Comment or be in the middle of commenting but something will come up…. I’m still reading though and commenting when I can!

  13. I love your blog. Creeper Alert: lol I have always felt connected to you while you were preggo cause I was too. As you were going through the end of being pregnant I was too. Our daughters are days apart and even though we are miles apart I somehow feel connected. IT
    IS BECAUSE OF YOUR BLOG. You are so great. I love seeing your updates. I too love taking photos and I am working on becoming as good as you. Keep up the great blogging we all love you.

  14. You were the first blog I started following two years ago and I don’t know that I’ve ever commented on yours. I loved following all the pregnancy updates (and going back to them now that I’m pregnant) and I love the direction that you’re going in for your blog! It’s so easy to get caught up in stats and comments. If I focused on that though, I’d have nothing to write about considering that the video I posted about my baby’s heartbeat had 0 comments.

  15. Glad I can be your BFF! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love your blog, thanks for letting me take a peek into your life (not in a creepy stalker kind of way of course…)

    You are one of the bloggers that I really could see myself being friends with and meeting up for kiddy play dates. Maybe that’s part of why I love your blog so much!


  16. I’m glad that you’ve found a happy medium. I think that we get caught up in putting a label on our blogs. Well, we’re more than mom bloggers. So, what your blog is called Baby Making Machine.

    You blog about crafting, marriage and culture too! I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog and will continue to do so because you’re relateable. And at the end of the day that’s really all that matters.

  17. I can relate. To what is my blog? But – yeah – I kinda sorta had a moment in 2011 that made me realize this is NOT where its at. I love my blog. I love friends that I’ve met through my blog….but it doesn’t completely define me. And vice versa. I have always adored your blogging and of course your baby girl. Cheers to finding your way….and commenting. lol. Kidding….

  18. Sounds like a great plan. That’s basically how I treat mine. But- my family does read. Which is both good and bad. Even my hubby. Anyway, I do read all your posts (I keep my roll limited), except I’ve not caught up on all the 365 ones yet!

  19. I just went through my blog roll and noticed that those blogs don’t post as often as before or have taken their blogs in different directions. I think I will be removing my blog roll and fave bloggers page as well. Those that love me always comment so that’s how I stay in touch with them. And of course…everyone is in my google reader ๐Ÿ™‚

    Here’s to putting the “ME” back into blogging lol.

  20. I know blogging is so weird sometimes. I feel really self-conscious about it. But lately I’ve just been updating when something comes to me, not because I feel like I have to or I have a theme I want to go with or whatever.

    Love reading your blog though, no matter what you post about!

  21. Would you look at all the feedback and friends you have? ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s awesome! I just wanted to say that was sweet of you to comment on my blog i was REALLY surprised and thrilled. I also just wanted to say you show REAL honesty on your blog and also integrity especially with this new goal to reach out to so many. You’re a great person and I’m proud to call you family ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. So I don’t care if you read my blog, it isn’t anything special. But I thought you should know that the other day my brother in law was blog stalking me–if that is even a term, and he said that you were his cousins wife. He found this out by looking at the blogs I follow, but I found you on my own! Strange the degrees of separation!
    For the record my favorites of yours are he says-she says blogs! ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. Good for you, girl. I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I’m finally in a place where I’m ready to let all of this hype about “to be a good blogger you have to do this or that…” go. It is so refreshing to see somone else who feels the same way. I miss the earlier days of blogging when connections were REAL.

  24. I didn’t begin reading until after Lil J was born, so I didn’t experience all the stuff leading up to her birth. I have, however, enjoyed the parts I have been around for. Reading your blog from my phone (most of the time) makes me a lazy commenter. Not being much of a crafter/sewer, I enjoy the photography information, the black folk pieces, and the actual pictures the most. Just my two cents.

    I understand the pull to try and please all the people all the time with your blog, but I think what makes a good blog is a writer who writes about WHATEVER she’s feeling at that moment in her life. Screw the critics who want to stifle creativity by making us feel like we need a specialty. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  25. Good resolution! Mine is about the same. I decided that I do want to make a little money off my blog but give it to charity or another good cause. Meanwhile, I totally get the caring-not caring rollercoaster. I often wonder why in the world I waste my time, anyway. Then I get a big response and I’m enthralled all over again. Writing for yourself is the best way to stay interesting, I believe!

  26. I know how you feel. My blog is not NEARLY as popular as yours but I still put a lot into it. And at one point I felt like, why the crap am I doing this? I’m not making any money, I’m killing myself commenting on everyone else’s blogs and e-mailing back, and I’m obsessed with my stats. Then I decided no more of that. I’d just blog and enjoy it. I do appreciate every comment and reader, but I’m not obsessed anymore and I don’t get sad when I have a low turn-out one day. It’s just how life goes!

    Thanks for blogging, Jenn. I’m glad we’ve kept in touch all these years.

  27. I think its amazing how you thought that all through! Your blog really has been through so much and I am happy to say I have been with you through it all! I followed your journey because I was on the same one! I love keeping up! ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. I found your blog when you were 9 or 10 weeks pregnant and I was too. It was very fun to follow your pregnancy and your girl and my boy are born just a few days apart. Even though we don’t have a terrible lot in common (I don’t sew or make dresses, and I’m not that into photography) I still enjoy keeping up with your blog to see what Lil J is up to and because I think you are a great writer who doesn’t swear in your blogging (which I appreciate). The only thing I’ve been wondering this whole time I’ve kept up with your blog is what lil J’s real name is. I totally understand why you don’t post it, but it is always a thought in the back of my head. Thanks for staying true to yourself and not becoming a for-profit giveaway blog:)

  29. I say anything that reduces stress and drama is great. I have to say I hardly comment on your blog unless I feel I really have something to say, but yours is one of my top three favorites of all that I read. ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. I say anything that reduces stress and drama is great. I have to say I hardly comment on your blog unless I feel I really have something to say, but yours is one of my top three favorites of all that I read. ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Love it. I read your posts often, but don’t comment sometimes b/c I feel I don’t have anything profound to say…and plus I don’t want you to know I stalk your blog. lol Thanks for sharing with us.

  32. You’re so funny– I read your blog alot but I hardly ever leave a comment but that’s one of my goals this year as well. Great idea about your new take on blogging– its best just to do what you like– Ive been all over the place with my blog just to try to build followers but nothing works.So I decided just to write about what I like and I’m seeing a change. Can’t wait to continue to read your wonderful post!

  33. I totally get that “is there anyone out there” kinda feeling. I write on my biz blog all the time and no comments. Yet, I see that tons of people visit. They just want to pop on and off.

    Just so you know, I probably read your posts daily, but it’s through the email version. So I usually don’t click through to comment. That has probably slowed down some comments for you too.

    I’ve shared many posts of yours too, when you photograph your daughter (especially in Monkey Toes) I smile a lot – because she is just such a doll.

    Good luck to your resolution – I think it’s a great solution (ha – I rhymed).

  34. Sounds good.
    I don’t really have a blog as I just do not know how to go about making one. There I said THAT! LOL
    But I read your emails I get from you EVERY time. I don’t always comment, though, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to but that I am pressed for time. But I love your photos and your daughter is the cutest! You must put much time in taking photos, dressing her, sewing, sharing, etc. and it is fun to see!

  35. I don’t have a blog (yet) but I read almost 90% of your posts. Usually through my email. I love what you write about. I’m pretty crafty and I find your sewing and crafts lovely! It’s much easier to understand than other crafting and sewing tutorials. Yours are a lot easier to follow. I love your photos! I’ve started the 365 photos also. Hopefully I will start blogging soon. I’m kinda scared though. Not sure I will be interesting enough ๐Ÿ˜‰

  36. I don’t comment much, but I read all your posts…even the dress tutorials. I don’t have a baby girl or a sewing machine and I’m not crafty in any way at all, but I still read them!
    And this should make you feel good…I get hundreds of emails every day from blogs I’ve signed up for email from when I entered giveaways. I sort through those emails and only a few blogs actually get read unless I’m entering giveaways. You’re one of the few blogs I read just to read, not to win something.
    I love your 365…was wanting to do something like that with my baby but life got in the way! Plus I’m not talented behind a camera!

  37. It makes sense to write as if you’re writing to your BFF. I like that concept and have to remind myself why I blog and mostly it’s to keep a history of events and things for myself. If others read it great. I “try” not to get caught up in stats, but it’s far too easy. On one of my blogs, I started profiling my commenters by visiting their blog and writing a little post about their blog and why the few people who read my blog should visit their blog. LOL! It helps knowing that I’m introducing other bloggers to other great blogs.

  38. I have to say that I;m another silent reader. I read almost all of your posts, and enjoy them, but comment very rarely. So I just wanted to say Hi!

    Also, I was inspired when you said “Write my blog like it’s for just me and my best friend.” Blogging and I have had such a hot and cold relationship. I’d really like to have a place for my friends and relatives to keep up with my life with a brand new baby, but often with a new baby the energy I have to write gets used up.

    Well, I’m trying once again and I thank you for the inspiration!

  39. This is exactly how I feel about blogging! I blog for me and whoever wants to read it but I focus on what makes me happy. I don’t get a lot of comments on my blog but that doesn’t stop me. I just do what is right for me. I sometimes blog ALL the time and sometimes it’s just about once a week or less. I’ve posted serious and not so serious but I LOVE going back and reading through old post.

    Back to you…I really enjoy reading your blog. Your honest and entertaining…I don’t often comment but I always read. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Happy Blogging!

  40. You know I’m always reading, even though I don’t always comment. hehe. I think it’s a nice change. I guess I’m where you were a couple years ago. My blog is only about 7 months old, so I recently been obsessed with how many visits and comments I get. It’s great to know who’s actually reading my posts. I’m sure one day I’ll get to the point you’re at now, and not give a crap. lol

    But for now I’ll continue praying that the number of followers on my blog finally move passed 55. hehe. Anyway, keep doing what your doing. Let me know if you plan on heading to blogher. Would love to catch up!

    Weather Anchor Mama
    P.S. Why isn’t your hubby allowed to read your blog?

  41. I happened upon your blog while doing a search for black mommy blogs. I read plenty of mommy blogs, but I find very few blogs written by black mommies. Race/ethnicity is not my primary motivation for reading a mommy blog, but there are some things, like our children’s hair care and products that are specific to people of color.

    Anyway, I found your blog by chance and THEN I discovered you are a newscaster in the Austin area, which is where we live and I thought that was cool too.

    At any rate, I enjoy reading your blog and you daughter is so adorable. ๐Ÿ™‚

  42. I can totally relate except I have like a handful of readers. So I have that little disappointed feeling a lot. My best friend doesn’t read my blog either. I basically talk to myself, but I AM more of a lurker than a commenter on a lot of blogs. I like to read other people’s comments instead.
    And my blog has no definition, I craft, I bake, but I’m not a professional at either by FAR. But I enjoy your blog even if the subscription email wakes me up before my alarm

  43. Oh the Bloggy Momma emotional rollercoaster..I thought I was the only one that felt this way..I often have to remind myself that I am not out to win a popularity contest {not that I would win against someone like you..I mean I have 25 Google readers you have like 2500!LOL. Not in a good are an awesome Momma Blogger Inspiration!}! I also have to remind myself of why I started my Momma Blog and Blogging at was about self-improvement, emotional release and then to share all those amazing Momma moments with the world! I love your Blog and I read as often as I can…I love your picture and Love Letters Project..Your daughter and you are sooo beautiful!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you always for sharing!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ BTW. My Hubby who was not a fan of blogging is totally impressed by the fact that “I know you”…LOL!

  44. This is a great way to interact more with your readers, that’s how I try to do it but sometimes time is not on my side to comment, but know thar I read your posts ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. I go through some of these same struggles with my own blog. It is a constant internal battle! I also originally started blogging to document our TTC efforts and then for others to follow along on my pregnancy with our daughter. Now I have turned more towards crafting and constantly doing what I can to make my blog more “likable” by others. I wish I didn’t feel that way! I hope to get back to my blogging roots, as well, and to also keep the attitude of knowing that those who want to will keep reading… and those who don’t, I never needed anyways. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Kim @ Little Rays of Sunshine

  46. I’m new to your blog and came across it blog hopping of course. But, I’ll for sure be following you. I also read a lot of blogs but most of the time feel weird commenting so I don’t majority of the time. But, keep blogging I’ve been enjoying reading it.

  47. I found you a couple of months ago and love your story- and your blog. I started a blog for me- when our daughter was born- and for our family. All of her grandparents live far away and I wanted them to be able to see her grow and what was going on with her on a regular basis. it’s not really readworthy to the outside. but come see me if you feel like it.
    I LOVED your love letters and enjoy reading all aspects of your blog.

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