Hi, I know I’ve been keeping this on the DL for the nearly 7-years I’ve had my blog but I think it’s time to just put it out there in the open… I have a multiracial family.
Some of you perceptive readers may have gathered this before today. I mean, sometimes I post pictures of this hot white guy who happens to be my husband, and as you can tell from my bio pic and whatnot, I’m black *gasp*.
Yes, my husband and I are in an interracial marriage and we have two adorable biracial kids (who are adorable because they are adorable, not because they are biracial).
I don’t bring it up (it being the fact that we’re a multiracial family) much. Or make this blog about all that, or shout it from the rooftops. Not because I’m embarrassed or anything, just because… Well, I think I forget sometimes. I mean, I don’t REALLY forget. Occasionally I’m reminded when the Facebook status updates and crazy headlines try to pit blacks against whites or make it seem like we’re in the middle of some kind of Civil War. Don’t get me wrong… Things aren’t perfect. Racism is still very much alive and well. We face it from time to time but by golly… I try to find the rainbows.
There are plenty of blogs and websites dedicated to discussing the social injustices, and heartache in our society and I’m grateful for so many of them. So grateful because so many things they write are words I either can’t find the strength to say, or simply can’t say with the power and beautiful fury they can. They are words that help inspire the change that still needs to come. The change I hope to see for my children.
However, here, in my space. I choose to just be. To just be us. To share our experiences as they are, even if most of the time it’s just as ordinary and boring as any other family.
So… Imagine my surprise and delight when Alex Barnett, comedian and host of the Multiracial Family Podcast asked me to be a guest. Actually, it wasn’t just out of the blue. It’s a funny story how he found me that started with him swiping a photo of us and posting it on his page (without him knowing we were a “real family” (apparently we are picture-perfect)) but you can listen to it and hear the whole “how we met” (for both Alex and I and my husband and I).
I also delve into a few more things which I’d like to clarify for those people who are A. Visiting after listening to the podcast or B. Mormon, and wondering what the heck I was going on about. or C. Generally super confused after listening to my rambling.
1. Although I’m a journalist, I’m used to being the one asking the questions. It was pretty awkward being on the other end of the spectrum. Especially on the topic of being in a multiracial family because like I said, we’re just people. I don’t necessarily feel any different than any other family because it’s all we know. Trust me, there are times that I’m outraged and upset about something that’s happened, but it’s not very often, so it’s hard for me to recall those terrible instances that I usually try to block from my memory, or turn into something silly.
I mentioned a time someone called my daughter a mutt, and a when someone accused me of cheating on instagram. Silly stuff you know? Here on my blog I also have shared some of my daughter’s comments about how she identifies, and other stories that have to do with being in an interracial marriage and having a multiracial family, but it’s not the main focus here right now.
2. As far as being black and Mormon. It was my fault for totally not expecting that, especially talking to a comedian, and bringing up the fact that I went to BYU. I love the Lord and I love my church. Nobody’s perfect, and even inspired leaders can mess up. Though I totally fumbled around the topic of blacks not having the priesthood prior to 1978 there’s a great essay released by the church on the topic that I love to reference for those who have questions about the murky history.
3. There are totally more than 30 black people at BYU. I knew AT LEAST that many personally but there were hundreds. Alex had me laughing at the idea of there only being 11 of us, and I probably should have clarified that it wasn’t that bad. BYU seriously rocked! Of course not everyone has as great of an experience as I did, but I can speak for myself. I really hope our kids decide to go there some day.
4. I hint to this multiple times in the podcast but if you couldn’t gauge after listening to it, I’m an extremely positive person. Even when I do encounter negativity whether it be race related or not, I try my best to rectify the situation if I can (either by addressing the person directly if face to face, or deleting a rude comment) or choose to let it go. I pick my battles, and I don’t like to fight.
In a perfect world our family would really be seen no differently than any other family, and hopefully some day that will be the case. Until then, I’m going to keep sharing our lives that are mostly just as typical as yours, and sprinkle in some of the uniqueness of our multiracial family attributes when they come up.
I mean… I might as well now that that cat is out of the bag.